Gun shop experts and their quotes

[mikegot38]

Today I was at a gun show and was listening to a dealer tell a customer that the newsest ammo he had in his case at $50.00 per box of 20 was from Winchester . He told the potential customer that "This new pistol ammo (It was .45 acp ammo, not the ammo made for the Judge revolver) can defeat bullet proof vests". "It contains two types of bullets, the first one hits the person in the chest and knocks him down and goes through the vest and the second is a punch of pellets that will hit him in the face and really mess hin up". The customer's response was "Wow!!! Do the police know about this stuff!! I'll be back with money for a case" I guess there really is a sucker (or maybe a criminal born) every minute.

[carlosa]

Today I was at a gun show and was listening to a dealer tell a customer that the newsest ammo he had in his case at $50.00 per box of 20 was from Winchester . He told the potential customer that "This new pistol ammo (It was .45 acp ammo, not the ammo made for the Judge revolver) can defeat bullet proof vests". "It contains two types of bullets, the first one hits the person in the chest and knocks him down and goes through the vest and the second is a punch of pellets that will hit him in the face and really mess hin up". The customer's response was "Wow!!! Do the police know about this stuff!! I'll be back with money for a case" I guess there really is a sucker (or maybe a criminal born) every minute.

Dood !

Please tell me you made this up!

I'm not ready to lose faith in humanity yet

Lol great story thanks for sharing

[JimmyZip]

me: "do you carry any .22 conversion kits other than the ones you have made by kimber?

gun counter guy: "kimber is the only mfg who makes .22 conversion kits"

me: "okay, thanks for your help".

to this stores defense, most of the people there are excellent. they went through a massive hiring when our new president was elected due to the increased volume of customer. i think the application process went something like this. "can you spell gun?" okay excellent, you start tomorrow.

Reminds me of that scene in "Take The Money And Run" when Woody walks into the bank with the note saying "I have a gun." The teller is arguing with him that the note really says "I have a gub." I still crack up thinking about that when I help my wife correct spelling papers.

[oak hill]

I still crack up thinking about that when I help my wife correct spelling papers.

And here I thought that I was the only one who helped correct spelling paper! LOL

[alpha-charlie]

I returned to my favorite gun shop today and found that things had changed quite a bit. The staff was cut in half and the entire place had been reorganized. Hmmmm, I wondered. I was there to purchase a G34. I didn't see one in the display counter, so I asked if they had one. The "genious" says let's see if one's in the case. He proceeds to come around the counter and stare into the same display counter that I had just looked at for 5 minutes. "Nope, don't have one." In an obvious attempt to sell me something else, he asks " What's with the 34 that you're looking for?" Ugghhh, here we go. "Well, it's setup for IPSC." He stares at me resembling a deer in the headlights. "It's what?" Annoyed I reply again, "It's set-up for IPSC...long pause and a staring competion begins.................It's a competition gun." He pulls a self-made cheat sheet from his pocket and looks up Glock 34, "Yep, wouldn't ya know it, says it right here, Glock 34 Competion model." I also noticed it said competition next to 35 as well. Having some knowledge now, he then replies, "Well Glock makes 2 competition guns ya know." My reply, "Actually they make 3, the 24, 34, & 35" He pulls the cheat sheet out again and looks up the 24, "Yep, wouldn't ya know it, they sure do. Well, Glocks are the most common gun we sell so I'm sure we have an order for some to come in at some time." He then walks away. And they say customer service is dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited November 9, 2010 by alpha-charlie

[soaringf22]

I returned to my favorite gun shop today and found that things had changed quite a bit. The staff was cut in half and the entire place had been reorganized. Hmmmm, I wondered. I was there to purchase a G34. I didn't see one in the display counter, so I asked if they had one. The "genious" says let's see if one's in the case. He proceeds to come around the counter and stare into the same display counter that I had just looked at for 5 minutes. "Nope, don't have one." In an obvious attempt to sell me something else, he asks " What's with the 34 that you're looking for?" Ugghhh, here we go. "Well, it's setup for IPSC." He stares at me resembling a deer in the headlights. "It's what?" Annoyed I reply again, "It's set-up for IPSC...long pause and a staring competion begins.................It's a competition gun." He pulls a self-made cheat sheet from his pocket and looks up Glock 34, "Yep, wouldn't ya know it, says it right here, Glock 34 Competion model." I also noticed it said competition next to 35 as well. Having some knowledge now, he then replies, "Well Glock makes 2 competition guns ya know." My reply, "Actually they make 3, the 24, 34, & 35" He pulls the cheat sheet out again and looks up the 24, "Yep, wouldn't ya know it, they sure do. Well, Glocks are the most common gun we sell so I'm sure we have an order for some to come in at some time." He then walks away. And they say customer service is dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're right. its like when buying a road bike and the salesmen says hey this mountain bike will work on the road too.

This title almost needs to be called here's you're sign.

[-JQ-]

was in local big box store that sells guns yesterday...

guy shopping the long gun rack asking all the generic questions when the counter guy picks up a "judge" long gun...and says handing it over to the guy "well here's a cute one".

I couldn't even look back at the guy selling...nor the guy buying. I just looked away...I went and bought a pair of socks

[Team Amish 1]

was in local big box store that sells guns yesterday...

guy shopping the long gun rack asking all the generic questions when the counter guy picks up a "judge" long gun...and says handing it over to the guy "well here's a cute one".

I couldn't even look back at the guy selling...nor the guy buying. I just looked away...I went and bought a pair of socks

That was very attentive of him to point that significant characteristic out.

Who in THE world would ever purchase a non-cute gun? Me, nah, never, nope. Not on my watch.

And cute judges are hard to find. Judge Judy perhaps. Then again, not my age bracket. Plus I'm married.

Anyways, cute guns or nothing!

[lrf]

Man there are so many good replies, but being a new competition shooter I've hit this "wisdom" a lot, lol. (This all has happened at an indoor range I joined when I bought my first handgun)

"You can't save any money reloading." (after picking up my brass that they want to sell to a reload company..)

"My buddy can drill ports into the barrel of your Limited gun."

"You are not having fun unless you're dq'd"

"What is USPSA?"

"Try an FN 57 in your next USPSA match" (cool gun but doesn't meet caliber or pf requirements)

"Para sucks" (I've shot Glock to date in comp but I will say my Para has never jammed a single time in 3000 rounds)

"What's that double velcro belt?"

"Is that holster made for that gun?" (reference to my race holster for my 1911)

"Your carboard target will clog our vents." (You literally hang your targets on carboard at this range, I was trying to shoot a IPSC metric that I took from a match)

"You're not holding it right etc." (after mentioning that maybe they should clean their rental guns occasionally)

I could go on for days, but from this one range I joined when I first starting shooting handguns, I know my membership money next year will go to USPSA match fees. Good times at the matches even with my newbie struggles.

[gravityBad]

Not at a gun shop but at the range a few weeks ago: 2 guys pull up with their lady friends to show off their mad handgun / tacticool skills. 1st guy places a target at 7 yards and proceeds to dump a whole 'clip' as he called it towards center mass of his Osama B target. The majority of hits were all over the place and if you had a super computer to calculate his center average, they were WAY right.. He tried to save face by saying he needed to compensate for the breeze that was "swirling" around at 5-15 mph.

The funny thing is, I think he truly believed the breeze was the sole reason keeping him from his triumphant display of manhood. The ladies seemed impressed with his diagnostic assessment for inaccuracy.

[Jim Norman]

Let us hope his 'gun' is just as inaccurate so that he doth not procreate

[huntershooter]

Amazing. While bad enough to hear these sorts of things from run-of-the-mill owners, I'm astonished at the scarily unknowledgeable folks assuming they have the business acumen worth risking the capital to own a store.

To think that the majority of these problems would be solved if only most gun owners became involved in organized shooting. I'm convinced that the gun owner's worst enemy is himself.

[mgood]

Amazing. While bad enough to hear these sorts of things from run-of-the-mill owners, I'm astonished at the scarily unknowledgeable folks assuming they have the business acumen worth risking the capital to own a store.

I don't think it's the owners so much as the people who work for them.

Someone in a previous post mentioned that the owner may be fairly knowledgeable, but most of the people working there are making near minimum wage. You don't usually get "experts" to work for $7.50/hour.

[djeffers]

I was in a local shop looking for some AR accessories for a gun I was building and saw they had 2 boxes of Barrett Factory 50 BMG ammo. I was running low and had a few extra dollars in my pocket so I picked them up. They guy checking me out I would guess about 22ish said "Man the 50 BMG is such an awesome round and has so much energy the bullet does not even have to hit you. If it passes close enough to you it can take your arm off!'" I was able to hold back the laughter but the grin on my face had to give me away.

My Brother-in-law tried to tell me that BS about the 50 BMG not having to hit you. "Your head will explode from the pressure if it comes within 10 feet of you. Thats how military snipers are able to hip people from a mile away" I asked him if he was retarded.

The kicker.....he's National Guard

I am former active duty and national guard (so I say this purely in jest) I thought retarded an NG were highly correlated!

[mikegot38]

Today I was at a gun show and was listening to a dealer tell a customer that the newsest ammo he had in his case at $50.00 per box of 20 was from Winchester . He told the potential customer that "This new pistol ammo (It was .45 acp ammo, not the ammo made for the Judge revolver) can defeat bullet proof vests". "It contains two types of bullets, the first one hits the person in the chest and knocks him down and goes through the vest and the second is a punch of pellets that will hit him in the face and really mess hin up". The customer's response was "Wow!!! Do the police know about this stuff!! I'll be back with money for a case" I guess there really is a sucker (or maybe a criminal born) every minute.

Dood !

Please tell me you made this up!

I'm not ready to lose faith in humanity yet

Lol great story thanks for sharing

I did not make this up.

Michael P. Gottlieb, Esquire

[Ronnie j]

I overheard this at a large local independent gun shop. The counter guy answered the phone and all I heard was his side of the call.

Yes we sell 9mm pistols

All different makes

Lots of choices on capacity

All the magazines will go into the handle

We have hundreds of pistols that fit that description maybe you should come take a look at our stock.

This went on for a few more minutes and I couldn't help but feel for the guy, at the end he just about had to beg the caller just to come in and look.

[SiG Lady]

We have a major area-wide gun show coming up the weekend right after Thanksgiving. I was going to attend anyway, but I think this time I'll make it a point to eavesdrop and try to bring back some tales. 'Trouble is, this is a respectable show with respectable, pretty knowledgeable vendors. It could be the oddball stuff I'll hear will be the dingbat questions posed by the occasional clueless attendee. Wish me luck.

[GrumpyOne]

These are not mine, a friend emailed me this a while back, and I just found them again.

How Automatic is Automatic?

Several weeks after purchasing a small .22 auto pistol, an elderly gentleman returned to the Sun State Gun and Knife Exchange in Bradenton, Fla., and asked to speak with Bob Lechner. Bob stepped up to the counter and asked the old fellow what he needed. The customer brought the small pistol out of its box and said, "When I bought this gun, you told me that all I had to do was cock the hammer, and then every time I pulled the trigger, the gun would cock itself. Right?" "That's right," Bob explained, "the slide brings the hammer back when you pull the trigger." "Well, than there's something wrong with this gun, because I have to pull back the hammer every time." Bob took the gun, examined it closely, but couldn't find any malfunction in its operation. Finally Bob suggested they walk next door to the firing range and test the pistol; as he was reaching for a box of .22 ammunition, the customer said: "What's that?" "Ammunition," Bob said. "If we're going to test fire the gun, we have to load it first." Suddenly a light of understanding flickered in the customer's eyes. "You mean, you have to put bullets in the gun to make it work?"

Choose Your Weapon

A young customer came into Paul's Pawn Shop in Longview, Texas, and asked Kerry Baxter for some help selecting a pocket-sized self-defense pistol. Kerry showed him several guns, explaining how they worked and comparing their various features, but the customer still couldn't make up his mind. After asking several questions, the customer finally said, "Well, if you were going to get shot, which gun would you want to be shot with?" All things considered, maybe a water gun?

Big Gun Make Many Holes

One morning the phone rang at Great Western Outfitters in Ridgecrest, Calif., and Bobby Kinstle picked it up. "Can I help you?" he asked. "Yes," said a fellow on the other end, "I understand you're having a sale on your riot shotguns, but I don't quite understand. Is a riot shotgun a pistol or a revolver?" Bobby answered, "Most riot shotguns operate with a pump action." "Umm ... so what caliber is it?" "Shotguns aren't classified by caliber. They are grouped in gauges." "Okay, what size bullet does it shoot?" "A shotgun doesn't fire a bullet, it fires a charge of shot." After a moment of confused silence, the customer asked again: "So, is it a pistol or a revolver?" Bobby, said, "It's like a rifle, not a handgun, and it's got a big hole in the end that shoots lots of small bullets all at once instead of just one big bullet." "Hey, that sounds great," the customer said. "I'll come right in." Sometimes the simplest explanations work the best.

Big Bertha

One afternoon in Mesa, Ariz., a couple walked into Aussie G Products, stepped up to the rifle counter, and the fellow asked Mr. Wyatt for some advice regarding a hunting rifle for deer, elk, and similar big game. Mr. Wyatt brought several products down off the rack along with a dummy cartridge and began to explain the operation of the guns to the man. During this discussion, the woman stood beside the man -- obviously her husband -- with a sour and impatient expression on her face. When Mr. Wyatt was done showing the customer how to load the magazine and operate the gun, the wife finally spoke up. "Are you trying to tell me that this is the bullet for this gun?" she said grasping the rifle barrel and dummy cartridge out of her husband's hand. "Yes," Wyatt said. "This is a mock-up of a .270 Winchester cartridge and it's made to function in a .270 rifle like this one." With a snort, the woman dropped the gun on the counter, clutched her husband's elbow, and shoved him toward the door. As they were making their hasty exit, she said loudly, "He must think I'm a fool if I believe that big bullet is going to fit down that little, tiny hole." All the fellow could say was, "Y-Y-Yes, dear!"

With a wife like that, who needs a gun?

[SiG Lady]

"...You mean, you have to put bullets in the gun to make it work?..."

Arrgghh...!

[ken hebert]

I overheard this at a large local independent gun shop. The counter guy answered the phone and all I heard was his side of the call.

Yes we sell 9mm pistols

All different makes

Lots of choices on capacity

All the magazines will go into the handle

We have hundreds of pistols that fit that description maybe you should come take a look at our stock.

This went on for a few more minutes and I couldn't help but feel for the guy, at the end he just about had to beg the caller just to come in and look.

I feel for him. I've fielded MANY phone calls like that, and I dont see it ending anytime soon.

[Panic Flinch]

Shooter: Can you adjust my sights please? (Glock 17)

Me: Why, what's the problem?

Shooter: Theses sights are off...its shooting low and to the left!

Me: Are you sure you are not disturbing the sights when you press the trigger? Are you sure you're not flinching?

Shooter: Yes..I'm definately not flinching...can you please just push the rear sight to the left?

Me: Umm...Ok..but you know that's the wrong direction?

Shooter: No it's not.

Me: Yes it is.

Shooter: No it's not.

Me: Yes it is.

Shooter: Just do it please.

Me: Sure boss...(I push the sights to the left for him)...then, "Lemme know how that works for ya."

10 minutes later....

Shooter: Why did you move them in the wrong direction?

Me: I moved them to the left like you asked...it wasn't working for ya?

Shooter: I told you to move them to the right...all you did was make things worse.

It took me a few hours to shake that one off. True test of my patience and character. On days like these....a quick dump of a beta c mag and I'm ok.

[Spray_N_Prey]

Love this thread, but from being on the other side of the counter, i'll humor with some stunning moments.

Guy pulls up on a bicycle, wearing an old camo style coat, comes into the shop and asked what's the pitch on these revolvers

Clerk: Pitch? what do you mean?

Guy: I need to know the pitch for the bullet of these revolvers

Clerk: Pitch? you mean twist rate?

Guy: yeah

Clerk: I really don't know, why?

Guy: well I was commisioned to build a new revolver for the marines to start to use for combat, and i'm needing to know the pitch (again with the pitch)

Clerk: Well if your building a revolver for the marines, they probably should have the specs for you (laughing while that was said)

Guy takes off and goes next door to a payphone and calls and ask for the manager and starts to complain about being treated badly. The whole shop had a good laugh on this one.

[Spray_N_Prey]

Girl calls on the phone and ask me if I buy dragons.

Me: Dragons? does it breathe fire?

Girl: huh? boyfriend in the back "no a dragon off" (dragunov)

Me: is it a real dragunov or one of the romanian knock offs?

Girl said no it's a real dragunov.

Me: Yeah we will take a look at it, bring it in.

Later on, two girls and a guy come in carrying a romanian knock off with the wild side mounted scope on it. I tell the guy it's a romanian and not a real dragunov, but we would still buy it and asked how much he wanted.

He said he looked online and they were going for around $3000.00 but he'd take $1500 and proceeded to tell me how accurate it is and how he shoots pop cans at 800 yards with it. I picked it up and looked through the scope and the crosshairs were sideways and it wasn't even tight (scope rings were loose you could turn the scope in the rings). I said wow 800 yards and the scope's not even mounted tight.

He responded yeah, i'd hate to see how far she would shoot if it was.

Edited December 10, 2010 by Spray_N_Prey

[Spray_N_Prey]

Guy comes in with a sks that had all of these beads and indian style feathers hanging off of it with a homemade camo paint job and asked to see the gunsmith about putting some sights on it.

I replied, "Gunsmith is back there."

He goes back to the gunsmith and asked if he had any 1000 yard iron sights for his sniper rifle.

Gunsmith: where is your sniper rifle?

Guy: Well right here (gun sitting on counter)

Gunsmith: you want to put 1000 yard sights on an sks? starts laughing and goes back to work

Guy stands there for a few minutes looking puzzled and grabs his gun and leaves.

Edited December 10, 2010 by Spray_N_Prey

[Spray_N_Prey]

Guy comes in to shop in his early 20's, looking very well unclean, with really long ratty hair and the worst tattoo i've ever seen in my life. It looked kinda like the marines logo but like it was done at home with a needle and some ink (really, really, really horrible looking tattoo)

Wants to buy a handgun. Ok what are you looking for?

Guy: a 9mm luger

Me: cool what model you looking for?

Guy: I just told you a 9mm luger

Me: oh (thinking the guy actually wanted a P08 luger), sorry we don't have any lugers right now

guy: All of these guns and no 9mm's?

Me: yes sir, everything in this case is 9mm, 9mm is a caliber, it's like saying "hey I want a suv", there are many manufactures of suv's, etc.... then you see the look in his eyes "ok now he gets it"!!!!

Guy: I was in the Marines Special Forces

Me: Oh Cool, did you see any action (grining ear to ear)

guy: yeah Special Ops - I was an assasin

Me: wow you must be pretty good with a gun

Guy: yeah I was the best Marine sniper special forces seal around(<- no joke)

Me: well what gun do you want to see sir

Guy: Let me see that gun (XD)and from out of his pocket, pulls out a bunch of waded up money and throws in on the counter

Me: ok, So I hand this marine sniper special forces navy seal this XD and hand it to him with the slide locked open.

Guy: looking at gun and can't figure out how to let the slide close, finally gives up and starts aiming the gun at the wall with the slide open

with some special forces new grip - holding the gun with his right hand, taking his left hand and laying it on top of his right wrist.

Me: do you want me to close the slide on that gun for you?

Guy: yeah this thing is different then the 911's we used in the marine special forces.

Me: I thought Special Forces were the army not the marines

Guy: looks at me for a minute, well we were a special operations, you civilians don't know about us

Me: oh I see

Guy: I'll take it

Me: ok, then proceed to show him a laser / light combo and he wants that too

So the guy pays cash for the gun laser and some other "upgrades" I sold him on. He of course gets delayed on the firearm. So he was going to have to wait 3 business days to get the gun and he said he'd be back.

Well after getting a deny and then a visit from a local detective, which proceeded to question me about this guy and tell me that he got arrested on a DUI and when he went down the DMV to try to get his license back, told the guy behind the counter AT THE DMV, that he was going to go buy a gun and kill the cop, so the police were looking for this guy and I was more than happy to give them his number.

What a jackass.