Things You Only Do Once -

[Concorde]

Pulled the magazine out after a jam in an open bolt submachine gun before locking back the bolt. Luckily the gun was still safely pointed downrange when the accidental discharge happened.

Now I always remember: "BOLT BACK!"

[tdrake2406]

Guy only...

Pee against an electric fence.

Cross your legs before you sit on a chair (don't ask).

Have your expert horse back riding GF take you on your first ride with you wearing boxer shorts instead of briefs.

[boatdoc173]

I guess this forum's the best place to start this.

This one is guy only...

Remember that first time... When you threaded your belt through the first loop, then gave 'er a nice, sharp tug - and the buckle-end whipped up, down, then back up like a bullwhip and cracked you right in the balls.

I may have done that twice actually.

MY DOG--A PIT BULL--WHO WAS SPAYED--ALWAYS FINDS A WAY TO WHACK MY CUBES WHEN WE PLAY--I try to protect myself but he still gets them--jealous I guess--LOL

[copecowboy22]

We had a guy at work a few years back trying to fix a flat on our forklift. The tire is a tubed tire with a split rim. He didn't deflate the tube before he started taking the rim apart.

Once he got the next to last bolt undone it shot his impact wrench up into his jaw. Luckily he was ok just a small cut but it could've been bad. He never lived that down!

[DrewHewes81]

I put a one hundred dollar bill in my pocket with my keys. I pulled my keys out to get in my car. When I got home the bill was gone. I went back to my parking spot and found nothing. Hopefully someone needed it more than me.

[RPatton]

When I was in high school several of us had finished a day of deer hunting with a pack of hounds and were standing around the edge of a soybean field. The remains of an old chimney were standing about 4 feet high and 150 yards out. Everyone started taking shots at it. One guy had a 12Ga and was trying to hit it with a slug. Not having any success, he decided to take a rest off the left rear fin of his '57 Chevy and being right handed he was shooting across the right side fin. The hole that 12ga put in the fin was most impressive. I still laugh when I think about it 50 years later.

That sight over bore lesson has come in handy.

[RPatton]

When I was a senior in high school my brother found an article about making solid rocket fuel using powdered zinc and sulfur. One night while they were practicing for the senior play I went to the school even though I wasn't in the play.

I was taking chemistry and wandered into the lab where I found a bottle in a cabinet and turned it around to see what it was because it was really heavy. It was powdered zinc. Remembering the rocket fuel article I looked around the lab it wasn't hard to find some sulfur. Not knowing the ratio I needed to get a rocket moving I opted for a couple tablespoons of each and went outside. After mixing I poured it on the sidewalk and tried to light it several times with a match. Nothing. With the last match I jammed it into the mixture with the phosphorus still burning. It was dark outside and there was a blinding flash. My pupils slammed shut, I could smell hair burning, and I couldn't see anything.

Luckily I only lost my eyebrows, eyelashes, some hair off the top and I looked sunburned.

A fireman once told me there were 2 things he never wanted to roll up on. A dumpster or a high school chemistry lab on fire.

[Miranda]

this is for chemistry geeks.

keep ALL your nitrogen tri-iodine damp.

It is not explosive when wet or damp.

I watched. a small amount stored in a tuna can was wet.

a little bit was dry on a ledge at the rim of the can.

my brother set the can on the table and...

that little bit did a swan dive into the wet contact explosive...

fooooosh!

it missed us... god that was a lot of smoke.

I decided to stop tinkering with propellants and explosives with out more

safeguards and practice with less cranky compounds

Iodine is good for you, right?

Edited October 24, 2015 by Miranda

[DagoRed]

I think it's pretty bad that so many of these remind me of things I'd nearly forgotten.

I'll do a few.

-forget that you needed to cut some metal w an angle grinder just before leaving for work in khakis (FYI stain resistant happens to also be flame accelerant). Of course guard is off the grinder and sparks are flying back. I noticed my balls were feeling really hot and looks down to see the crotch if my pants was on fire. Try slapping out a flame without smacking your nuts flat. White underwear had a silver dollar black spot and I felt hot between the legs all day

-I have a lot of drinking ones, this always seems to get the laughs when my wife (then girlfriend) tells it. I had been drinking. Was smoking a pipe (tobacco actually) I used to use a zippo that I would light the pipe w then snap shit against my chest as I dropped it into my chest pocket. Not smart to begin with. This time though I was sans shirt. I'm really hairy. WOOSH! Chest hair lights. I can hear it and look down and slap it out. Remember I've drank a lot, so I go to bathroom and proceed to shave my chest. No grown man who's naturally hairy should ever see that. Terrible

-last, NEVER go outside on holiday mornings to quickly do anything barefoot. One time at Christmas (girls present hid in trunk) I did this, slipped on icy driveway almost broke my frickin hip and tore a bad slash into pinkie when it got caught in an expansion joint. Two years ago thanksgiving I went to take trash out, barefoot full stride drove my foot right into the 1/2" bolt sticking up that holds a fence post in. Right behind my 2/3 toes. I underestimated how bad it was, it took months to fully heal.

My wife sucks at this stuff. Or just doesn't care. Can't tell you how many times she's walked by me bandaging something dripping blood and not even offered to help.

Red

Edited October 24, 2015 by DagoRed

[RPatton]

In 1965 I watched a co-worker putting a trailer hitch on a car. It was jacked up high enough to get the drill in place with him under it . This was an early '60s 1/2" 120 volt drill with a LOT of torque. The drill had one of the old handles on the back of the motor.

The bit was dull and in order to get the last hole drilled in the frame he had the trigger locked back, the handle in his shoulder like a rifle, and was using both hands to pull it into the frame. The bit grabbed just as it went through the frame and the drill promptly knocked out a tooth. It was still going and continued to whip his ass until it wrapped up all the slack in the power cord and unplugged itself.

Having it on video would have been awesome.

[copecowboy22]

When I was in high school several of us had finished a day of deer hunting with a pack of hounds and were standing around the edge of a soybean field. The remains of an old chimney were standing about 4 feet high and 150 yards out. Everyone started taking shots at it. One guy had a 12Ga and was trying to hit it with a slug. Not having any success, he decided to take a rest off the left rear fin of his '57 Chevy and being right handed he was shooting across the right side fin. The hole that 12ga put in the fin was most impressive. I still laugh when I think about it 50 years later.

That sight over bore lesson has come in handy.

I got one along this line

I know a state trooper that was also one of the firearm instructors at their academy. We were doing some training engaging targets seated in his patrol car. He sees a rabid coyote across the pasture and starts tracking it with his optic. Pulls the trigger and the mirror on the side of the car explodes into what seems like a million pieces. At least it was his car.

[Warkitz]

Shoot your finger with the 1/4" 1&1/2" staple gun building boxes in the shop... Oh wait not 10 minutes after I did it again except the second one broke my finger.

[Frankly]

Remember to pee before you go skydiving for the first time.

[DEP44]

It's not that I didn't know better, but my wife had bought me a Dremel and I had an urge to Dremel something. Without safety goggles in reach I decided I didn't need them as I was well aware of the risk and was going to be very careful. That night I ended up crying and my wife insisted that excessive rubbing was what caused it. Anyways, around midnight an ER doctor used some kind of Dremel to drill the metal splinter out of my eyeball. Week later an eye doctor - again with kind of Dremel - removed the rest of the rust.

[Nimitz]

anytime you use the word "dremel" & "eyeball" in the same sentence it's not going to be good ........

Edited December 9, 2015 by Nimitz

[imeyers78]

6th grade, tried showing off to the local neighborhood girl on her bike (banana seat, handle bar tassels, glitter clear coat frame). took a sharp turn, rear tire slid out from under me, face slamming on the concrete resulting in a broken front tooth.

She wasn't impressed

[Single Stack]

Trying to forcefully seat a primer with a 650. Was rotating the case with my fingers as I tried to seat the primer and the primer ignited. Painful learning experience.

[bugboy]

Messing around in the military with 9 volt batteries on our tongues,,,,,,, bright idea occurred,,,,,,,

gob of saliva to eyelid,,,, place battery terminals on eyelid,,,,,,, 9 volts directly to the eyeball,,,,,,, try it, go ahead, I'll wait

[arkadi]

Almost 10 years later...

Thumb ahead of racker when slide returns to battery.

My thumb is now glued to safety.

[.45 ACP nut]

1975: Ride a Yamaha street bike after almost all day on a Bultaco Frontera. (Rear brake and gear shift are on opposite sides) Broken scapula, compressed vertebrae, cracked ribs, and lots muscle tissue damage.

[cjdaniel78]

Rather mundane compared to some, but recent.

This morning at work I pulled the coffee filter holder out of the machine while it was still brewing. Not sure what I was thinking, but it made a monumental mess of hot coffee and grinds all over the floor in the break room. Apparently my new name is Captain Coffee.

[JWWalker]

Walked in the house, small house 12&16 ft had a camper parked next to the house with a door leading into it. Used the camper for the kitchen and bedroom, smelled propane, went to door of camper pulled out lighter to look for gas leak. If I had not closed the front door it would have blown me clean outside, but no the door caught me, yes alcohol was involved, and it was very,very loud.

[M1A4ME]

I leaned over and checked the scale calibration. Good after an adjustment.

Then I set it for the charge I wanted for some .357 SIG ammo and started adjusting the powder measure, using the scale to adjust the powder measure and confirm the 5 or so random checks I do per 50 charges. I got the powder measure set correctly and loaded 350 rounds.

A couple days later I went back to the bench and got ready to load a different load (don't remember what that was) and when I took a look at the scale the weight wasn't on 5 grains, it was on 10 grains. I grabbed a bright little flashlight and sure enough, 5 grains too much in 350 rounds of .357 SIG.

I turned off the bright flashlight and started trying to figure out how in the hell I'd set the weight on 10 vs. 5. It came down to angle I was looking at the beam at and the light/shadows on the beam. If I didn't get exactly 90 degrees in front of it and put a light on the front of the beam a shadow from the weight screwed up my "perception" of where the weight was located on the beam.

Then I got to work with the kinetic bullet puller pulling 350 rounds down. I split it up into 3 sessions.

Now, every time I set that scale up I put the bright little flashlight on the beam and slide my chair over so I'm directly in front of it.

Edited July 28, 2016 by M1A4ME

[DEP44]

I got myself a case sifter set (yellow, blue and black that fit on a 5 gal bucket). Main reason was they had a 380 insert. So... This morning I collected all dirty 38, 45, 9mm, some 357 and a few 40s I could find and tossed 'm in the big Dillon. I had to fire it up a few times for a second to make 'm all fit in there. Come to take 'm out and every single 45 has a 9 lodged in it. The I need nose pliers kind of lodged. I'm still trying to figure out what made me think this was a good idea...

[hornetx40]

This section should be required reading just for the reloading mistakes. good stuff