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EddyB

Short funny jokes

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs waterskiing?  Skip.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs swimming?  Bob.

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My son just told me these are called "dad" jokes because they are lame jokes dads tell their kids

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My brother told me a few a couple weeks back. Cracked me up. 

-what did the green grapes say to the purple grapes? "Stop holding your breathe!"

-why don't you see hippos hiding in trees? Because they're that good at it!

-what kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers. 

 

Red

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Me either. This year is shot. Instead, I'm sending him $200 to keep it going for next year.

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48 minutes ago, Toolguy said:

Me either. This year is shot. Instead, I'm sending him $200 to keep it going for next year.

:D

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Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some people just don't have film.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend...but she left me before we met.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

(Steven Wright)

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On November 2, 2016 at 10:53 PM, mc2212 said:

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs waterskiing?  Skip.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs swimming?  Bob.

""No arms all legs in front of the door .   mat

hanging on the wall.     art

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What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean?

 

i've never had a garbanzo bean on me.........

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On 2/25/2017 at 6:29 PM, mc2212 said:

What do you call a woman with one leg? 

 

ilene.

And the racially insensitive version:

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?

Irene 

 

Hate the game, not the player...:o

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What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

 

Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

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18 hours ago, armydad said:

And the racially insensitive version:

What do you call an Asian woman with one leg?

Irene 

 

Hate the game, not the player...:o

Now that's funny!

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Don't know why I hadn't seen this thread before.

 

Where does a one legged waitress work?

IHOP

 

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back...a stick

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I have to wash my clothes in tide.

 

Why?

 

Too damn hot out tide.

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