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Short funny jokes

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A horse walks into a bar.......the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

Celine Dion walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

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A horse walks into a bar.......the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

Celine Dion walks into a bar, the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"

You know she's a member on here, right?

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What is the mares name ???

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post-2749-0-63379000-1432868606_thumb.jp

Really.....no one had said it yet?

Edited by TRUBL

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So, why does no one laugh at lawyer jokes?

Lawyers don't think they're funny and nobody else thinks they're jokes.

(mother's a retired lawyer and that's the only lawyer joke she EVER laughed at)

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Grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey. We got a drink named after you."Grasshopper says, "You got a drink named Fred?"

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Horse walks into a bar

Bartender says why the long face

Sent by Jedi mind control

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Putting a wedding ring on a girls finger is like pulling the rip cord on an inflatable raft.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes?

I-have-no-idear

do you know what a cuticle is?

a darling little testicle

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Mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender says, we don't serve mushrooms during happy hour. The mushroom says, I don't know why not, I'm a fun guy.

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What's the difference between a saloon and an elephant fart?

One is a bar room and the other is a BARROOOMMM

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A horse walks into a bar...

The bar tender asks "why the long face"?

The horse replies "because my alcoholism is destroying my family"...

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Joe takes his dog into a bar. He says "I will bet anyone here that this dog can talk". One guy says "OK, I'll bet $10 he can't". Before long, everyone in the bar has placed a $10 bet. He tells the dog "OK - say something."  The dog just sits there, not making a sound. After a couple of minutes of trying to get the dog to talk,the crowd starts wanting Joe to pay up. Afraid of the angry mob, Joe pays them their bets. Joe takes the dog outside and says "You just cost me $400! Why didn't you say anything? You better have a good excuse or you're not eating for a week! The dog says "Just think how high the odds will be tomorrow night!"

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10 minutes ago, Toolguy said:

  "I  bet  this dog can talk". Everyone in the bar places a $10 bet.   Joe can't get the dog to talk so Joe has to pay up.  Joe takes the dog out and says "You cost me $400! Why didn't you say anything?   The dog says "think how high the odds will be tomorrow night!"

Very funny, but Too Long to be a Short Joke - I just made it into a short joke for you,

free of charge.    ;)

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What do you call a cow with 2 legs?   Lean beef

 

what do you call a cow with no legs?   Ground beef

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41 minutes ago, bubbadoc said:

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?   Lean beef

 

what do you call a cow with no legs?   Ground beef

Let me guess. A guy named Charles with no legs is ground Chuck?

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16 hours ago, Sarge said:

Let me guess. A guy named Charles with no legs is ground Chuck?

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?  Art

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs at your front door? Matt

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a hole in the ground?  Doug... or Phil

-ivan-

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