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EddyB

Short funny jokes

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A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police, he is now a seasoned veteran.

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Never trust an atom, they make up everything.

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A dyslexic man walk into a Bra.........

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I hate Russian dolls.....so full of themselves

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How do you make a tissue dance? But a little boogie in it

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What did the 0 say to the 8... Nice belt

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The red line...

What is red, green and swirls? Frog in a blender.

What is red, gray and bad for your teeth? A brick wall.

What happens when the red ship crashed into the blue ship? The crews were marooned.

Why did the tomato turn red? He saw the salad dressing.

What is black and white and red all over? A Panda with a sunburn.

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Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog...

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Two IDPA shooters walk into a building...You'd have thought one of them would have seen it...

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how many IDPA shooters does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them

How do you get 4 IDPA shooters into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out again? Tortilla chips

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A pirate walks into a bar with a ships wheel stuck down his pants....Bartender says "Hey! You know you have a ships wheel stuffed down your pants?" "Arrgh!" Says the pirate "It drives me nuts!!

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my wife asked me, "If I die, will you remarry"

I said probably. She then asked if my new wife would use her good china, and I said probably. She then asked if she would wear her clothes and I said, if they fit I don't see why not. She then asked " will she use my trap gun?" I said "she can't honey, she is left handed"

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my wife asked me, "If I die, will you remarry"

I said probably. She then asked if my new wife would use her good china, and I said probably. She then asked if she would wear her clothes and I said, if they fit I don't see why not. She then asked " will she use my trap gun?" I said "she can't honey, she is left handed"

Oops!

"And that's when the fight started"! :sight:

Edited by SandW745

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No, that's when she said, "When you die, I will remarry, and I'm a fixin' for a hitchin' soon..."

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Jesse Jackson, Hillary Clinton and the Pope walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"

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A roman walks into a bar and orders a Martinus. The bartender say, "You mean a Martini?" The roman says, "If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it."

A roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please."

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A roman walks into a bar and orders a Martinus. The bartender say, "You mean a Martini?" The roman says, "If I wanted a double, I'd have asked for it."

A roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please."

Great one!!!!

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My wife just got elected president of her ladie's group. It's called D.A.M. (Mothers Against Dyslexia)

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I put my root beer in a square cup. Now it's just beer.

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Made one up myself tonight and damned if the wife didn't think it was funny!

We went shopping for Dill so she can do some canning this weekend. I asked her what we would use to buy the Dill. Dill dough! She told me I was childish so it must have been good right??

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