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Sharkys11

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She hates that I am into shooting.

What reason does she give for "hating shooting"?

She doesnt give a reason.

Solution to the problem (maybe multiple problems)

begins with understanding WHY she "hates shooting".

You can't begin to improve the situation if you

don't communicate and find out the reason ...

:cheers:

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My wife does not shoot but she knows I do and thats one of the things that makes me happy. She never has a problem with the time or money I spend doing it. In fact I always get a text before every match. It says Shoot well,have a great time and please be safe. Followed by I love you. Thats how I know I have a great wife. She does not have to like it or even "GET IT" she just knows I love it and thats good enough for her. Any partner looking to give you a life makeover is not the route you want to go because its always going to be something. I give her the same respect. Good luck.

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Hey Sharky,

Dump her yet? Heck, it's been 2 days since you posted. Before you know it, 2 years will have gone by and you'll be legally obligated to pay her half the value of your business. I did. I have an aquarium maintenance business like you and had to get it assessed and cut her a check for half the value. Either that or sell it and pay her half. Plus alimony. She didn't like me paying attention to my hobby either. More importantly, the happiness and contentment I have now is worth 10 times that amount and I would have gladly paid it. You're miserable. Get happy now!

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Hey Sharky,

Dump her yet? Heck, it's been 2 days since you posted. Before you know it, 2 years will have gone by and you'll be legally obligated to pay her half the value of your business. I did. I have an aquarium maintenance business like you and had to get it assessed and cut her a check for half the value. Either that or sell it and pay her half. Plus alimony. She didn't like me paying attention to my hobby either. More importantly, the happiness and contentment I have now is worth 10 times that amount and I would have gladly paid it. You're miserable. Get happy now!

Where are you located?

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We did talk and neither one of us are happy. Her statment to me was the only reason she was still living here was because she couldnt afford to move out (WTF).

She said shewas going to take care of the situation so hell who knows. I like spending time at the store and doing the mait calls. And I have friends that bring me gun problems working on a tough one right now.

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Set a timeline for her leaving - not to dig in your business or tell you how to run your life, but she'll continue to let you support her (like she's doing now) as long as you'll continue doing it. I have six sisters and more than a dozen ex brothers-in-law!

And buy lottery tickets :rolleyes:

Mark

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Do you own your home? Not many instances I'd say that's a negative but this is one of them. Setting a time table for her leaving is a really good idea and I'd put it in writing and get it notarized or otherwise make it legal where you are. If you do decide to stay together execute a prenup now. But whatever you do make sure she knows your position and that it's not negotiable. She'll likely move on.

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We did talk and neither one of us are happy. Her statment to me was the only reason she was still living here was because she couldnt afford to move out (WTF).

She said shewas going to take care of the situation so hell who knows. I like spending time at the store and doing the mait calls. And I have friends that bring me gun problems working on a tough one right now.

That means she is going to sell your stuff. :o

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:mellow:Do you ware pants?

I'm an old guy by most standards.

But ask your self ' if you did every thing she wanted you to do and be' Would you like what you saw when you looked in a Mirror?

This is the guide I use for my life for the past 30 years

Did you act and speak in a way that makes the reflection still respect what you see when you look in a mirror?

Edited by AlamoShooter
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My wife does not shoot but she knows I do and thats one of the things that makes me happy. She never has a problem with the time or money I spend doing it. In fact I always get a text before every match. It says Shoot well,have a great time and please be safe. Followed by I love you. Thats how I know I have a great wife. She does not have to like it or even "GET IT" she just knows I love it and thats good enough for her. Any partner looking to give you a life makeover is not the route you want to go because its always going to be something. I give her the same respect. Good luck.

OK----everybody needs to stop and read the above post.

This guy has it figured out.

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I told my girlfriend when we first met that from October to January I'm gone hunting on the weekends and if she cant expect that then we dont need to be together...She was cool with it cause shes known from the start not something a told her later. Now that Im into shooting I'm not hunting as much casue I'm addicted to this crap lol... and she really likes me doing this cause I'm only gone Saturdays for a half day... good women

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Last one was "afraid" of guns despite my trying. She turned out evil anyhow.

New one comes to uspsa with me, only problem is she is calling some of my guns "Her" guns. Hmmmm.... I just bite my tongue and let it slide instead of growling like a dog with a bone.

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I got a divorce about 7 years ago. It cost me $172,000 and was worth every penny. I met a great woman who has no problem with me spending MY money the way I want. I drive a smaller car and live in a much smaller house and I am happier than I've been in 30 years.

During Mar-Nov, I hit the range twice a week with a match every Sunday and attended 8 majors this year including 10 days at the Nationals. I shoot about 20K rounds per year so you know I spend time on the reloading bench.

She just says: "Have fun!!"

It's freaking awesome.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Ive tried to get her to go...

What to do??????

Let her go.

Find someone new and better.

I've never worked a job I hated.

I've never kept a relationship where we couldn't each do anything we wanted.

You get one chance at life.

Make it the best it can be.

-Chet

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Hate to say it but move on. My wife of 21 years will NOT shoot. However her dad commited suicide when she was a young girl so I take that into consideration. However she supports the second ammendment. She likes the fact that I have something that Im so into. She never complains when I tie up weekends shooting, helping with matches or even the occasional away game.

I know other guys who have wives or girlfriends who dont/wont shoot but dont dont have any problems with it.

You have a problem thats probably not going to get better. And maybe a shitload worse.

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My first ex-wife wouldn't "allow" a divorce. Soooo.... I got in my car one day, stopped at the bank, and bought $8000 in travelers checks and went on a road trip. Used cash only, turned off the phone and went MIA. Thirty days and 6500 miles later, I came back with $100 in my pocket, a lifetime of memories, and no wife. Win win if you ask me :devil:

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Sharky, you've made it pretty clear you want out of this relationship, now it's just a question of how, which I'm sure you'll figure out sooner or later. What I'm more concerned with is helping you look more critically at this situation so you're not doomed to repeat it over and over again for the rest of your life.

If she says this is about your shooting, you can be sure it's anything but that. I can't tell you, because I don't even know you, but I'll bet you already know.

I have an amazing wife, who understands my love of shooting, but her understanding is not an invitation for me to do whatever I feel like at any given time.

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I was in Home Depot one afternoon, at the checkout counter, and me and the older cashier were chatting as she was ringing up my stuff...I said something about how expensive everything was, and that it really didn't matter, cause it was my money....She said "Yep! I asked my husband one time just how many tools he needed, and how much money he was gonna spend on them...He said "As many and as much as I want.....Would you rather have me spending the money on pu$$y and beer?"...She said she started buying him gift cards to Home Depot and Lowe's...

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In my first go at married life I came to realize that if you come home and your reaction to your wife's car being there is "Oh Crap" or something similar and you are not trying to sneak in her Christmas gift, you have a problem. You can either fix it or decide it is not fixable. It took me way too long and way too much money to figure it out. At that I was lucky, I didn't own a business at the time. I was working in St.Croix after Hurricane Hugo, got a pretty solid offer to stay there, her reaction was so long, my lawyer will be in touch. We wored out a deal and I became a free man. Thankfully I didn't take the St. Croix offer and am now nearing my 21st year with my second and hopefully last wife. It cost me a lot up front to get out, essentially I started ut with a huge mortgage and zero money, but I have sanity and freedom.

Get out while you can. You owe it to yourself and your daughter. One question I didn't see anywhere is this, Is it your daughter with a previous woman? or it your daughter with her? That will make a BIG difference.

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