Things You Only Do Once -

[ChrisStock]

Bang {!?} hit 6 inches left of POA. Manually Cycle slide. Lather , rinse, and repeat. By the 3rd manual cycling of the slide, catch the piece of brass you just ejected, and realize that some of your spouse's .380 ammo has wormed it's way into your 9MM ammo box. *&(!

[Evil Dog]

Toilet seat up vs down...... never ask the wife "Why don't you look before you sit?"

[markcic]

Things you only do once...

Don't put down the kick stand on your motorcycle after moving it around in your garage. It is something you realize as you are about 1mm past the point where your bike is safely resting on the kickstand. It also happens to be the point of no return where you have zero chance of stopping the bike on its fall to the ground. Witnesses only make it worse as they are torn between laughing at you or helping as you swear like a sailor to get your bike back vertical.

[geezer-lock]

Things you only do once…assuming you survive.

Swap rides, when you have this combination:

English bike, German bike, one shifts left and brakes right the other shifts right and brakes left. I am told that the flip was high and flashy and the landing for both man and machine was hard and repeated. I now had a really thoroughly ingrained (road rash) lesson in “doing what you trained”.

David C

[Jman]

Dairy Queen the Nationals.

Jim

[dajarrel]

Dairy Queen the Nationals.

Jim

There has to be a story behind this?!?!?!

dj

[rookieglocker]

never let your mom leave the toilet brush in the toilet (as a sign that she's cleaning it)with the lid open if the bathroom light is broken...

[Jman]

Dairy Queen the Nationals.

Jim

There has to be a story behind this?!?!?!

dj

...their is. I posted it in June on the "Match Screw Ups" topic. Repeating it here will no doubt wreak another nights sleep.

Jim

[scribble]

Going to a shoot and taking everything but the most important, your gun!!!!!!!

[LadyinBlue]

never let your mom leave the toilet brush in the toilet (as a sign that she's cleaning it)with the lid open if the bathroom light is broken...

OMG...what a mind picture that is!

[Middle Man]

Walk in a gun shop with $6700 cash and leave with nothing but a camp axe...

[DrawandDuck]

Walk in a gun shop with $6700 cash and leave with nothing but a camp axe...

That must be one HELL OF AN AXE!!!!!!!

[rexican]

Hi everybody, I'm new to the site and I stumbled across this thread. I'm only 23, but I have plenty of things to add to this list.

Drinking and bowfishing don't mix... you can put the line on the wrong side of your hand when taking a shot in a hurry. I have to look at the 6" scar on my hand every day.

If you're using a rcbs hand primer and a crimped military primer pocket hangs up on you, the answer is not to squeeze harder. 70 large pistol primers went off giving me some third degree burns, but luckily I kept all my fingers.

When buying eyeglasses, make sure there isn't enough room between your eyebrow and the frame for something like a hot, freshly fired 45acp case to pass through. It happened to me during the middle of a bowling pin match. The guys had a good time with that one... kept telling me they could read 45 ACP on my cheek.

there is payback for littering cigarette butts: the aerodynamics on some chevy silverados will occasionally toss 'em back in the cab with you and land in between your back and the seat.

Soldering irons always stay hot longer than you think.

welding with frayed clothing is a no-no

wear pants when chipping limestone.

Luckily, chicks dig scars

For guys only: never "adjust" or scratch yourself after applying Icy Hot... or you'll be doing a really funny dance

If you're rolling Jiu-Jitsu and try to put someone in an arm bar...you better better be wearing a cup.

The rest I'll keep to myself. some are just too stupid to admit in public

[rupie]

OK its an old thread but technically i didn't revive it.

This happened to a co-worker, he had some dry skin patches from working in the heat so someone suggested that he get some bath oil and take a hot oil bath to relieve the dryness. He was sharing a hotel room with another co-worker. He filled the tub with scalding hot water and dumped half a bottle of bath oil into the tub. Because the water was so hot he very gingerly lowered his toe into the water. Once he was OK with them temp and went to lift his other foot into the tub his leg went out from beneath him and he fell down into the tub and wedged his arms in beside him. So now he was stuck and nearly drowning but managed to holler and make such a racket his buddy came in and helped him get out of the tub.

Lessons that I have learned.

don't hit 22 bullets with a hammer

when you are making a tennis ball cannon using gas instead of lighter fluid and spill some on your legs and then your buddy Dana Lampman lights you on fire.......Stop Drop and roll don't run.

if you light a fire cracker that you found on the side walk and it doesn't blow and upon closer inspection you see there is a small part of the fuse still sticking out of the fire cracker.....Don't hold a match to that small piece while holding it close to your face so you can see the small part. (about lost a eye on that one.)

[racerba]

When buying eyeglasses, make sure there isn't enough room between your eyebrow and the frame for something like a hot, freshly fired 45acp case to pass through. It happened to me during the middle of a bowling pin match. The guys had a good time with that one... kept telling me they could read 45 ACP on my cheek.

That's what baseball caps are for...

[rexican]

When buying eyeglasses, make sure there isn't enough room between your eyebrow and the frame for something like a hot, freshly fired 45acp case to pass through. It happened to me during the middle of a bowling pin match. The guys had a good time with that one... kept telling me they could read 45 ACP on my cheek.

That's what baseball caps are for...

Funny thing is I was wearing a cap. Murphy's law I guess

[MichiganShootist]

Three huge mistakes come to mind.

1. After getting soaking wet while working at a grocery store as a teen age lad... I came in and liened on a cash register to talk to the cute little cashier. It shorted out and gave me enough 220 to knock me out. The worst part was the stiiches on the head caused by my head hitting the adjacent counter floor.... and the fact that I learned a huge fat pimple faced assistant manager (male) gave me mouth to mouth... I had been only partially awake and thought it was the cute cashier. Yuck!!!!

2. Grabbing ahold of a spark plug wire while a car I was working on was running. I hit my head on the hood and was knocked back down to the point where I contacted the wire again.... which made me hit my head the second time.

3. Finding that a critter had plugged up the fireplace chimnney at my cabin with some form of a nest... I put a ladder against the roof and climbed up in a snow storm to fix it. The ladder went out from under me just as I reached the second floor. The fall ruptered 4 discs and broke L-3, L-4, L-5. That was 20+ years ago and it has given me pain every day since the fall... but at least I survived it.

[Lee King]

1.Getting my first big kids bike in the 35+ years ago, and thinking I'll zip between my house and my neighbor's. Not used to being this high up, I never observed the scenery from this angle. I found out the true meaning behind being "clotheslined". Yep, caught me right in the throat...the bike kept going after I got hung up then dumped unceremoniously in the dirt to bawl my head off.

Running home through a neighbor's yard at dusk when I was about 13.. old dark green clothesline drooping low....

[outerlimits]

when we were kids, we used to like drag racing. got this idea to make a parachute for our bikes. used old sheets and kite string. worked once or twice, but the sheet would either tear or the twine would bust. so, we figure we need to beef things up. we find an old 10 x 10 tarp with grommets (perfect) and decide we need some serious rope. so, the new fangled parachute is ready to try. my buddy test drives it first. i'm on the other end of the street watching from the top end. he's flying down the street as fast as he ca go on his 10-speed. looks up and chucks the folded up parachute behind him. it opens unceremoniously and for some reason moves to his right, grabbing on to the front of a parked car. bike stopped immediately, buddy didn't. i can still see the funny look on his face, but there were lots of stitches in the aftermath.

Edited October 6, 2008 by outerlimits

[Dan Burwell]

1.Getting my first big kids bike in the 35+ years ago, and thinking I'll zip between my house and my neighbor's. Not used to being this high up, I never observed the scenery from this angle. I found out the true meaning behind being "clotheslined". Yep, caught me right in the throat...the bike kept going after I got hung up then dumped unceremoniously in the dirt to bawl my head off.

Running home through a neighbor's yard at dusk when I was about 13.. old dark green clothesline drooping low....

I was more like 18 looking for a campfire party, we saw a fire in someone's back yard parked around the block and went to investigate, turned out to be someone burning trash, about the time we figured that we were not at the party a back porch light came on and some guy was yelling at us. As I was sprinting across some unfamiliar backyards, I noticed the guy in front of me kind of duck saying ouch. Unfortunatly, he was a few inches shorter than myself and I didn't quite process the information quick enough. The result was me lying flat on my back with a sore neck, trying to get my breath back, and wondering which ones were the real stars.

I am proud to admit I have not done the back yard dash to closeline flash a second time.

[Lee King]

1.Getting my first big kids bike in the 35+ years ago, and thinking I'll zip between my house and my neighbor's. Not used to being this high up, I never observed the scenery from this angle. I found out the true meaning behind being "clotheslined". Yep, caught me right in the throat...the bike kept going after I got hung up then dumped unceremoniously in the dirt to bawl my head off.

Running home through a neighbor's yard at dusk when I was about 13.. old dark green clothesline drooping low....

I was more like 18 looking for a campfire party, we saw a fire in someone's back yard parked around the block and went to investigate, turned out to be someone burning trash, about the time we figured that we were not at the party a back porch light came on and some guy was yelling at us. As I was sprinting across some unfamiliar backyards, I noticed the guy in front of me kind of duck saying ouch. Unfortunatly, he was a few inches shorter than myself and I didn't quite process the information quick enough. The result was me lying flat on my back with a sore neck, trying to get my breath back, and wondering which ones were the real stars.

I am proud to admit I have not done the back yard dash to closeline flash a second time.

Heh.. just remembered. Similar thread. Not so painful.. just funny for the Mrs. When my wife and I were first dating we decided to go on a nature walk in the Francis Marion Forest (north of Charleston SC). It's pretty swampy and buggy. The trail we chose was pretty overgrown. The weeds were about waist high. It was September which, around here, is the time when writing spiders are out en-masse. I had on shorts. We walked a good 1/2 mile and every 50 yards or so I would hit a spider web about thigh high. A few times those big spiders stuck to my legs and started heading north towards my nethers. I'm not usually freaked out by spiders but when they're marching towards my bits... Yeah I danced a bit. My soon-to-be-wife was wearing jeans. Spiders don't bother her so she offered to lead the way. Aside from spiders, there were hordes of mosquitos. As she walked, there was a cloud of mosquitos hovering right behind her butt... drafting so to speak. Kinda reminded me of pig pen from Peanuts. I was busy staring at her butt and the cloud as we walked when I walked face first right smack into another of those damned spider webs. My wife is a good head shorter than me and I guess walked right under it. I was really doing a manly dance running around swatting myself about the head and shoulders trying to get what I just knew had to be a tarantula sized writing spider off my head.

[Don Gwinn]

If you're a big dumb shot thrower, it's OK to jump over the runners' hurdles when they're not using them. You can do it on a cinder track, too, no big deal.

But track hurdles are unidirectional, and you don't want to go over one backwards. Hit the hurdle with your foot going the right way, and it'll topple gracefully behind you as you continue on your way, just like those guys in the Olympics on TV.

Hit it going the other way, and it will stand fast. The top will shatter into a million pieces, but it'll still stop you hard enough to lever you straight into the ground, and you'll be picking cinders out of your hands and face for a week.

[ebg3]

Was casting bullets using wheel weights... Somehow one of the weights was wet when it went into the pot and turned the pot into a lead volcano. We were findind lead splatter on the walls for years after. Oh BTW, molten lead is very hot and it sticks to skin on contact.

[BSeevers]

1.Getting my first big kids bike in the 35+ years ago, and thinking I'll zip between my house and my neighbor's. Not used to being this high up, I never observed the scenery from this angle. I found out the true meaning behind being "clotheslined". Yep, caught me right in the throat...the bike kept going after I got hung up then dumped unceremoniously in the dirt to bawl my head off.

Running home through a neighbor's yard at dusk when I was about 13.. old dark green clothesline drooping low....

I was more like 18 looking for a campfire party, we saw a fire in someone's back yard parked around the block and went to investigate, turned out to be someone burning trash, about the time we figured that we were not at the party a back porch light came on and some guy was yelling at us. As I was sprinting across some unfamiliar backyards, I noticed the guy in front of me kind of duck saying ouch. Unfortunatly, he was a few inches shorter than myself and I didn't quite process the information quick enough. The result was me lying flat on my back with a sore neck, trying to get my breath back, and wondering which ones were the real stars.

I am proud to admit I have not done the back yard dash to closeline flash a second time.

I was running through dark yards in junior high and my buddy did the same thing. He had a very large red mark that looked like he had been hanged and the rope broke. We ended up taking him to ER to be safe.

[MisterB]

A bunch of years ago, when there was only one division, or maybe limited had just started, I had a "new" C-more put on my open gun. After sighting in, thought it would be well to chrono the load to be sure. It never crossed my mind that my sight was a greater distance above the bore that the open sights were, and had a 130 FMJ drill the top center of the display, blew parts and pieces all over the place, and continue right on through the the whole unit. We were laughing so hard I had to lay the gun on the ground and hold my sides. Kept the shot up unit as a reminder for a lot of years, until it happened again this summer. No good excuses, no good stories, just a brain freeze.