Things You Only Do Once -

[Lee Bell]

I've done so many of the things listed by others, that I could spend half the morning saying "me too." I'll add a shooting related one. Keep in mind, this was a long time ago.

I had, and still have, a High Standard .22. After a year or so of watching the slide go back and forth, I began to wonder just how much force a .22 round could generate. Surely, it could not be much. Not being a complete idiot, only a nearly complete one, I wrapped my left hand in a towel to protect it, pushed on the back of the slide to hold it shut, and pulled the trigger.

Needless to say, the slide won. In fact, it cycled completely without apparent affect from the towel or my hand. The bruises only took a couple of weeks to heal.

A couple of other ones I just have to add "me too" to.

- Arc Welding with a V neck shirt. You really do get sunburned . . . fast.

- Frying bacon in the nude, a really bad idea that will test your reflexes.

Lee

[Lee Bell]

I ONCE made the mistake of not checking a new-to-me mechanic's work."

I had a similar experience with my drag bike. The mechanic that worked on it, who was not new to me, but was not my normal mechanic, used an air ratchet to install the handlebar bolts. He didn't torque them afterward. You can imagine my surprise, and terror, when about a quarter of the way through the quarter mile, the bars that were about all that was keeping me on the bike under acceleration, began to rotate toward me. It's very, very hard to back off the throttle when under a drag bike's full acceleration.

Less than a minute with a box end wrench identified and corrected the problem. The mechanic and I had a discussion about things the next day, something about the relative value of our respective lives.

Lee

Best advice I ever got just before going down a double black diamond run..."..don't hug a spruce tree at 30mph..."

There's a run somewhere in South Dakota that's green most of the way down. You come over a little bump when the green slope turns abruptly to the side. Right in front of you is a little sign with a black diamond with the word "Surprise." below it. Once past that sign, you are going to the bottom of the slope, but there's no guarantee that you'll be upright when you get there.

Lee

[born-in-45]

Lady on our squad starts shooting and all of a sudden she is jumping around, gun in one hand and the other swiping at her nose. Yep, ejected brass actually went up the old nostrile (no her nose wasn't all that big). Sure put an instant blister on the inside edge though. Still can't figure out how she did it but it does make you a little nervouse when you're the next one up.

[MichiganShootist]

Picture this.....

4:30 A. M

9 degrees below zero

2 feet of snow on the ground

20 mph winds

sleet falling

5 miles from nearest paved road in national forest

30 miles from the nearest village.

The opening morning of deer season.

Two hunters with no hats, gloves or coats on......both exit the SUV at the same time for a quick pee stop... in the middle of a two track trail.... (actually made for snowmobiles)

The truck lights are all on..... and the motor of the truck is running....

One pushes the automatic door lock

Solution then... Find a dead tree quick... before frost bite sets in...and break the back window open... price $650.00

Solution now..... Carry a spare key on chain around neck when on hunting trips.

[h4444]

Lady on our squad starts shooting and all of a sudden she is jumping around, gun in one hand and the other swiping at her nose. Yep, ejected brass actually went up the old nostrile (no her nose wasn't all that big). Sure put an instant blister on the inside edge though. Still can't figure out how she did it but it does make you a little nervouse when you're the next one up.

I swear this is true.....

Local guy (I know his name,,,,and I have a digital image of the x-ray to prove this story), was reloading .308,,,,,noticed he had a couple high primers after he had finished,,,,,so he grabs the ol' hand primer and applies a little pressure,,,,,POW,,,,,he drops like a rock,,,,,wife finds him a bloody mess.

They get him to the ER,,,,,they get an x-ray and sure enough,,,,,he had a .308 bullet lodged up his nose. Talk about a miracle shot,,,,,he's a very lucky man.

The x-ray is a side view and man, you can see it plain as day,,,,,,,that ain't no booger.

H4444

[Steve Moneypenny]

Mi shootist made me think of this ( and why i carry a key in my wallet)

Driving a brand new pontaic G6.. i have 2 sets of keys with me. one is in the trunk.. the other in the ignition.. a gust of wind blows the trunk shut. now i'm 6'2" and this short little car has a panoramic sun roof. which i DID leave open. Yet i could not reach inside of the car.... so you get to see me crawling over the edge of the car reaching in the sunroof to unlock it...

not nearly as bad as the time i was working for a locksmith and had to call him to bring my extra set of keys for the car i just locked them in... never will live that one down.

[outerlimits]

waited to add this one cause every time i thought about it, ILMAO.

was camping at laguna seca years back taking in an FIA-GT race. walked down to the public restrooms sunday morning to avoid stinking up the RV. you know how some people for whatever reason have to flush a toilet before they use it? bad idea. i go in, note one stall is backed up and sit in the one next to it. reading my program, i notice some guy comes in and sits in that stall. so, he drops his trou, sits down and flushes the backed up toilet. what happens next was one of the funniest moments in my 50+ years. all i hear is some guy cussing like a sailor and all sorts of stuff is now flowing all over the place. i pick my feet up while covering my mouth cause i'm laughing so hard. by then, the guy realizes he's got all kinds of stuff flowing around him, all over his clothes which were on the deck as well. guy goes off cussing while i stay in the stall laughing like a lunatic. had to be there but i bet this guy NEVER does that again.

[Bret Heidkamp]

1) Let your friend do donuts in the dirt with his beater car while you're riding on the hood...holding on to nothing but the windshield wipers.

2) Tell your son you'll show him to jump his new XR50, not remembering the 1/2" plywood ramp you made for him will flex like a banana. The ramp is built for a 50 pound kid and not 200 lbs + new bike. This sends you vertical, long enough to realize the error in your ways. The landing bottoms the suspension and you land on the footpeg with the funnybone spot in your knee, ripping open your skin and removing a large chunk of flesh.

Then as you writhe on the ground in pain, not wanting to move your knee until the pain subsides, your son bounces on top of your chest laughing hysterically. Do it again, Dad, do it again !!!

[Flexmoney]

Do it again, Dad, do it again !!!

Classic.

[Steve Moneypenny]

LMAO... too funny...

I should add...leave range bag at range! Leave Rig at home hundreds of miles away...

and this just popped into my mind.. use kyles untuned shotgun for a shotgun match then get my ass whipped by something like 70 seconds.

[Flexmoney]

LMAO... too funny...

I should add...leave range bag at range! Leave Rig at home hundreds of miles away...

and this just popped into my mind.. use kyles untuned shotgun for a shotgun match then get my ass whipped by something like 70 seconds.

...things you only do ONCE.

[benos]

This borders on inappropriate, but I'm laughing so hard remembering it I can't not tell it.

It's early to mid-80's, and me and Robbie are at the Bianchi Cup, camping at the KOA with my mom and dad. (We slept on army cots outside the camper. We had it tough.) My friend Rondy was also there, for moral support and just to generally keep things lively. Me and Rondy head over to the campground's showers, and as we go in we happen to know Robbie is taking a shower. The place is empty, and as we're walking through, for whatever reason I said, "Heh, there's a guy in the shower." To which Rondy immediately replies, "You hold him down and I'll suck his dick." Instantly we hear a toilet flush and out of the stall comes guy making his way for the door like he's going to fire. If we ever laughed so hard for so long I can't remember.

be

[DJPoLo]

Awesome!

I am cracking UP!

-Chet

[outerlimits]

[ima45dv8]

That's the best laugh I've had in a while!

[Flexmoney]

He was probably going to get his towel and soap.

[robomanusa]

I bought a car off of my brother a few years back.........

My brother is gay, pissed me off for awhile, well ok, i guess im still pissed off at him over it. I just dont think its right. but that is life and I have to live with it I guess.

But anyways, the car I bought had these rainbow stickers on it and I didnt have any clue to what they meant, my wife did though and she let me drive around for a whole week in that car before letting me in on what they meant. Damn I was pissed. It took me a whole 5 seconds to razor blade them off once I found out what they meant, now I make sure to look for rainbow stickers before I get into any car.

[Skywalker]

the car I bought had these rainbow stickers on it and I didnt have any clue to what they meant

this reminds me the time I visited San Francisco: the guide, while drivig us through Tenderloin, asked if any of our group knew what all those rainbow flags waving out of the houses meant. None of us had a clue as well. When he politely informed us of the rainbow meaning I, and all males present, had a quick look at our attires, and we simultaneously exclaimed: "only plain dresses here!".

[mlmiller1]

Things I hope I only do once! Get an hour from home on a 3 hr drive headed to a match & realize my inner/outer belt & whole rig is laying home on the kitchen table. Let's see, 1hr out, 1hr back, 1hr to get back to where I realize it was missing, 2 more hours to get to the match. I made a leisurely 3hr drive into a frantic 5hr one. Arrive too late after dark to find range I've never been to before, spend 2 more hours looking for range in dark. Fortunately starting early the next morning(in daylight) it was easy to find! I may not have my gun or ammo but I will have my holster rig. hahaha.

[waxman]

Slide a freshly reloaded 223 round, with a high primer into the barrel of a ar-15, and then, in a 14x14 concrete room, hit the slide release on the ar. Did you know that the firing pin in a ar-15 is "unrestrained" in the bolt? I now have a 1" deep hole in my concrete floor, a set of ears that only seem to make a weird eeeeeeeee noise, and a wife and kid that think I am a total retard for "shooting the rifle on purpose" in there. Very valuable, lesson learned. I would like to know how many thousands of times this has "almost happened". Any one else ever done this?

[et45]

Remove your finger from the tip of the bullet when you crimp a .223 rd.Ouch!.

[Steve Moneypenny]

LMAO!!! Brian absolutely hilarious!

[DrawandDuck]

Ok, it involves a 3/4 hp bench grinder with a 6" polishing wheel, grams Spring follower and a REAL STUPID idea. Anyone else thought about polishing the magazine springs? If so, FORGET IT!!!! Well, I didn't listen to my "instinks"(not mispelled) and attempted it. I know to be VERY CAREFUL not to get the spring in the wrong position and had one finished and had a mirror polish on the sucker. So I started on the second one.......for some unknown reason I looked away and before I knew it the polishing wheel jerked the spring out of my hand, COMPLETED SEVERAL ROTATIONS with BELLY/SPRING CONTACT and I feel this SEVERE BURNING sensation on my belly.....I mean F_ _KING INTENSE!!! I hit the floor!! I really didnt know if it had gutted me like a pig or what!!! I heard the bench grinder "humming"!! The spring had wrapped around the wheel and has now locked up the grinder....... After several minutes the pain subsided slightly and I got my nerve up to look under my shirt....NO BLOOD or INTESTINES!!

BUT I now have a new Grams Spring/Follower BRAND on my tummy!!!!!!!

Bevin, if you read this I love your product sooooo much I carry an imprint of them EVERYWHERE I GO!!

This actually happend bout 6 weeks ago but was just toom embarrased to post....

AGAINST my better judgement I have enclosed a photo.......yes as ALL REAL MEN I have hair on my Chest and a few other places as well!!

Edited April 22, 2007 by DrawandDuck

[Middle Man]

This actually happend bout 6 weeks ago but was just toom embarrased to post....

Nothing beats the way he told that story the next day after loosing that fight with the bench grinder We starting laughing when he said the four words: polishing, wheel, grinder, and spring

Edited April 22, 2007 by Middle Man

[Mr. Chitlin]

I do my own car maintenance. One day, while doing an oil change on my car, after pouring in the 5th quart of oil, I step back from the car only to see 5 quarts of oil flowing out from under the car and down the sloped driveway. What a mess to clean up, and having to listen to my wife on top of that. I always double check that I have inserted the drain plug...

When I first started competition shooting back in the mid 80's, after the match , we'd all stand around the vehicles shooting the bull. This particular time it was winter, and we stood around and BS'd until about dark. About 15 miles from the range, I got to looking for my 1911. I remembered laying it on the hood of the truck while BS'ing. I looked out to the passenger side of the hood and there it was, still sitting on the hood of the truck. The only thing I can figure is that the Pachmayr grips kept it from sliding off the hood. I will never sit a firearm on the hood of a vehicle again.

I was fishing a bass tournament about 25 years ago, and just about the time we decided to move to another location, I got a lure hung in a tree. We decided I'd just grab it as we went by. Cranked the motor up, eased by the tree and I grabbed the lure. It didn't come off the tree, but my finger got caught on a treble hook. The boat didn't stop, and the hook finally ripped out of the flesh. It was a long day on the lake finishing the tourney. The boat will be completely stopped before I reach up and try to remove a lure from a tree.

Early AD lesson... I had just gotten a new BB gun, and the parents were gone. I got it out to play with it in the house. I didn't know it was "loaded", I pulled the trigger in the living room and made a nice BB hole in the wall. The parents were not pleased at all. 35+ years later this still sticks in my mind just like it was yesterday. I ALWAYS double check that any firearm that I am handling is unloaded.