Things You Only Do Once -

[Txkid]

let your wife use your credit card, that is why she is my ex now.

[Wendytww]

Never use a hot glue gun while sitting crosslegged and naked.

The glue drop hurt when it hit and even more when I ripped it off!

[GrumpyOne]

Apparently, when they did a lapdance, they took velcro straps and strapped your hands to the side of the booth, and your head to the back, so they could get as close to you as possible, without touching you. . . .

Florida, huh?

Sounds like the Cafe Risque .

Um . . . not that I would know. . . . I've heard about it, yeah, that's it. Someone told me about it.

Oh yeah, Florida.....

[Txkid]

If you ever take a crap in the woods, make sure your pants are out of the way. You can imagine what happend.

This reminds me what my brother told me long time ago when we were kids,

He and his buddy went in the woods to light up some Human Gas for the first time, his buddy pulled down his pants to relief the Gas.

My brother lit a match then waiting for the big flame but something else came out to his surprise.

i think this was first and last time he did this with Buddy.

T

[JimmyZip]

If you ever take a crap in the woods, make sure your pants are out of the way. You can imagine what happend.

This reminds me what my brother told me long time ago when we were kids,

He and his buddy went in the woods to light up some Human Gas for the first time, his buddy pulled down his pants to relief the Gas.

My brother lit a match then waiting for the big flame but something else came out to his surprise.

i think this was first and last time he did this with Buddy.

T

[Steven Cline]

50 gallons of gasoline in the tank of a diesel truck.

Another thing I will only do once is to touch a Cholla cactus ;-)

Or 30 gallons of diesel in a gasoline engine...

[Davidp1911]

I guess this forum's the best place to start this.

This one is guy only...

Remember that first time... When you threaded your belt through the first loop, then gave 'er a nice, sharp tug - and the buckle-end whipped up, down, then back up like a bullwhip and cracked you right in the balls.

I may have done that twice actually.

Last match I tried to clear a bad round out of my Limited gun with the thumb safety up. After the fourth, palm swelling attempt the RO whispered to me that my safety was up - doh!

I'm sure this is pretty common (I hope) - started a stage with my C-More turned off - yet another Homer moment!

[JimmyZip]

50 gallons of gasoline in the tank of a diesel truck.

Another thing I will only do once is to touch a Cholla cactus ;-)

Or 30 gallons of diesel in a gasoline engine...

I was a new pump jockey at the Union 76 station here in town as a kid. (13 y.o.) A lady with a new Mercedes pulls up and asks for a fill-up on the Super pump. Well, we ended up pulling her new TURBO DIESEL to the back of the station to drain the tank. Apparently she forgot, and I didn't know that her new car was not like her old Mercedes. I was informed to look at things and take notice. Car said TD on the back, and near the fill it said DIESEL ONLY.

Definitely embarassed.

[Lee King]

Strip wires with your teeth... cause no one would plug in the other end right?? (serial cable back in the day)

[dajarrel]

Strip wires with your teeth... cause no one would plug in the other end right?? (serial cable back in the day)

[ArturoJ]

Never prop a long handled broom, handle end up on the side of your pickup truck bed. Never ever vault over the side of the truck bed wearing shorts.

If you still want to do this, wear a cup and call 911 first..

[HRider]

Leave your lock on a disconnect at the end of a 14 hour shift (you know the one before your long weekend), drive an hour to get home, and while taking a shower, remember that you didn't unlock when you got through. Get dressed, drive an hour to get back and remove your lock and then drive an hour to get back home.

Hopefully, I won't forget anymore.

Hurley

[JimmyZip]

Forget what is hot and what is not when you are welding inside something. I had a scar for a couple of years because I was welding inside a large table that we use to set stock on. (it is capable of holding about ten tons, and is lots of steel, lots of welds) I was running a marathon on the thing to replace the halfa$$ed rig that preceeded it that had failed. It was about 2AM on a Saturday morning, I stood up and leaned back to look over what I had done and where I was going next. The heat turned the sweat in my clothing to steam and I can't tell you how fast I took off all the gear I was wearing to get that heat off my back.

Took about four years to fade completely.

[Xd357]

This is one of the best threads i've ever read.

[dajarrel]

This is one of the best threads i've ever read.

Yeah, very informative and....Entertaining

dj

[dsmw5142]

Listen to your drunk buddy when you're hauling ass across the bay ahead of a thunderstorm and he says 'you can make it, there's a cut through that sand bar!' .

[CGT80]

Finish up some plumbing on a building with 50 business suites in it at the end of a 12 hour day, and open the water valve slowly to half way. I went to the suite I worked on and there were no leaks. I went back to the main on the way out and turned the quarter turn valve all of the way. Handle was perpendicular to the pipe. The next morning I get a call, on the way back to the same site, from my boss asking if I turned the water back on. I realized I turned it off instead of on. People were calling complaining. Luckily my boss told the property managers that I was there working on the plumbing first thing in the morning and the water would be back on shortly (they didn't need to know that I finished the night before).

I painted the directional signs around a carls jr drive through one morning, after working about 14 hrs the day before and getting 4 hours of sleep before heading back. I pulled the plastic lens out, painted the box, and put the lens back in. Only problem is that the sign said drive through and had an arrow on it. It was pointed towards the street and upside down.

One evening I finished painting some aluminum store front doors at a different carls jr. I put the hardware back on an went to my truck to put the paint away. I hear people talking outside the doors and wondered why they were not going inside. I put the handles on the inside of the door. The doors open outward. OOPs Luckily I realized what happened and I changed them before I left. I felt like an idiot.

[Bret Heidkamp]

Finish up some plumbing on a building with 50 business suites in it at the end of a 12 hour day, and open the water valve slowly to half way. I went to the suite I worked on and there were no leaks. I went back to the main on the way out and turned the quarter turn valve all of the way. Handle was perpendicular to the pipe. The next morning I get a call, on the way back to the same site, from my boss asking if I turned the water back on. I realized I turned it off instead of on.

I'm not trying to slam you here, but are you a licensed master plumber, or at least a journeyman? I would guess not (since you were painting signs later?) so what were you doing working on plumbing? I am a licensed master plumber, and for a building of this size, how did you get to work on anything with a domestic water connection? I'm guessing no inspectors were involved!

Again, not trying to be snippy to you, but that's a total apprentice mistake. Oh well, at least it worked out. Glad the building didn't flood or a fitting blow apart as I'll bet your insurance wouldn't cover it if you're not a licensed plumbing company. It doesn't even have to be your work, sometimes another person before you didn't do a good job and it blows apart when you touch it! Or even contaminating the public water supply if you don't know what you're doing. Something to think about at least - liability of working outside your trade - if this applies.

I guess hearing this just struck a nerve with me this morning, sorry.

[outerlimits]

never, ever pound stakes for a full size popper unless someone is actually holding the upright popper. instant TKO...

[DanM]

Be careful with shock collars and revenge minded dogs......

A few years ago, we were out Pheasant hunting with my Grandfather and his friend Bob. Bob was a bit "odd" as they say.. anyways, Bob lays out his hunting coat on the tailgate and gets the shock collar out to put on his dog. For some reason, Bob has both thumbs on the collars electrical contacts. Bob calls the dog over and she comes running up and puts her front paws on the hunting coat and she hits the remote Bob is blown a$$ over tea kettle by the collar. Somehow, he had left the remote on AND cranked all the way up. In my whole life, I have NEVER seen anything funnier than the look on Bobs face after that. Bob never used a shock collar again. Miss ya Grandpa

[dajarrel]

Finish up some plumbing on a building with 50 business suites in it at the end of a 12 hour day, and open the water valve slowly to half way. I went to the suite I worked on and there were no leaks. I went back to the main on the way out and turned the quarter turn valve all of the way. Handle was perpendicular to the pipe. The next morning I get a call, on the way back to the same site, from my boss asking if I turned the water back on. I realized I turned it off instead of on.

I'm not trying to slam you here, but are you a licensed master plumber, or at least a journeyman? I would guess not (since you were painting signs later?) so what were you doing working on plumbing? I am a licensed master plumber, and for a building of this size, how did you get to work on anything with a domestic water connection? I'm guessing no inspectors were involved!

Again, not trying to be snippy to you, but that's a total apprentice mistake. Oh well, at least it worked out. Glad the building didn't flood or a fitting blow apart as I'll bet your insurance wouldn't cover it if you're not a licensed plumbing company. It doesn't even have to be your work, sometimes another person before you didn't do a good job and it blows apart when you touch it! Or even contaminating the public water supply if you don't know what you're doing. Something to think about at least - liability of working outside your trade - if this applies.

I guess hearing this just struck a nerve with me this morning, sorry.

I'd hate to see it if you were slamming him

fwiw

dj

[CGT80]

Finish up some plumbing on a building with 50 business suites in it at the end of a 12 hour day, and open the water valve slowly to half way. I went to the suite I worked on and there were no leaks. I went back to the main on the way out and turned the quarter turn valve all of the way. Handle was perpendicular to the pipe. The next morning I get a call, on the way back to the same site, from my boss asking if I turned the water back on. I realized I turned it off instead of on.

I'm not trying to slam you here, but are you a licensed master plumber, or at least a journeyman? I would guess not (since you were painting signs later?) so what were you doing working on plumbing? I am a licensed master plumber, and for a building of this size, how did you get to work on anything with a domestic water connection? I'm guessing no inspectors were involved!

Again, not trying to be snippy to you, but that's a total apprentice mistake. Oh well, at least it worked out. Glad the building didn't flood or a fitting blow apart as I'll bet your insurance wouldn't cover it if you're not a licensed plumbing company. It doesn't even have to be your work, sometimes another person before you didn't do a good job and it blows apart when you touch it! Or even contaminating the public water supply if you don't know what you're doing. Something to think about at least - liability of working outside your trade - if this applies.

I guess hearing this just struck a nerve with me this morning, sorry.

I'd hate to see it if you were slamming him

fwiw

dj

All of the listed work was maintenance, as I work for a property management company/general contractor. I am not at all new to plumbing, but when finishing up a 12 hr day even a master plumber it is possible to make mistakes. I opened the main shut off slowly and stopped at half way. I didn't want to create an air hammer and I didn't want the full flow of a 2" line running if there was a leak. After I finished the suite and closed up, I stopped back by the main valve to turn it on completely. This plumbing job included replacing angle stops, supply lines, and a faucet in the restroom and bar area of one suite.

I would be considered a master painter by most people (15 years experience), but I do not claim to be a master plumber. I do great work in a number of different trades. I am basically a working foreman. Our company is not big, so I do a lot of repair/maintenance work, and most of the painting with the help of a couple co workers. On the bigger stuff, like build outs, we hire subs and I oversee the projects while working on what is needed. My coworkers and I only do work that meets code. Our major projects are permitted. The work performed for flipping business suites is mostly cosmetic. I doubt that any contractor would bother with looking into a permit for the work being done and I doubt that a permit would at all be necessary.

Most of the build outs done in these types of suites (in the 350+ suites that I normally work on) are not permitted. My employer has actually gotten after the property managers and owners of the buildings, to enforce using licensed contractors and pulling permits. The amount of illegal, dangerous, crappy work that I run across and have to fix is amazing. The electrical is the worst part. These tenants or their cheap labor, think that you can run romex in a commercial building and connect the wires with wire nut and not boxes clamps, or staples.

I know first hand that dealing with permits, licensed vs. unlicensed contractors, and laws are a pain in the ass. On one hand there are people who know what they are doing, but don't have the proper licenses, so they are limited as to what they can do. Then, you have the people who think they know what they are doing, or just don't card, and they do crap work as well as under bid the legit guy. Then there are the licensed pros who screw over the property manager and charge two or three times what our company would. I am glad that I work for a great boss/friend and don't have to be responsible for all of the legal crap that goes with owning a business. I always tease my boss that he is living the American dream. People ask me why I don't work for myself, and usually they don't realize what it takes to be successful in the construction industry.

Our company also has a few in house crews that do steam cleaning and carpet cleaning for restaurants and other venues such as Dodger stadium, LA Staples center, Nokia Live, and other commercial buildings. One of the restaurant chains keeps trying to get our prices down. They say that company X can do it for half the cost. When my boss asked if they carried the proper insurance and permits from the cities they work in, they didn't have much to say. This restaurant chain requires us to carry insurance on our trucks and people that has a coverage rate in the millions of dollars. We also run full recovery equipment and are in some of the cities near us, the only steam cleaning crew that has been approved to clean in that city. Some of the permits to clean in Beverly Hills cost hundreds of dollars for each time that we clean one of our stops. My boss has been able to get the city to reduce the cost on some of the permits. We run top of the line equipment and have great results because of it. Some of our competitors run something like the more expensive pressure washers that home depot has. It costs an easy $50.000 to put together one of our washing trucks plus business expenses. I could only imagine how much it must cost per day just to break even.

End of Rant

I have learned from my mistakes, but I have learned even more from others mistakes.

[Dan O]

I will never again shoot a 12 ga. flare and then on seeing the metal capsule fall back to earth that had just finished burning at 1000+ degrees, run over gleefully and pick it up.

I will never again shoot at a turkey with a 3.5" 12ga. and my shoulder pressed against a tree.

I will never again check if the batteries are still good in my Surefire flashlight by looking directly at the lens and pressing the button.

[Corey]

Once was enough to prove that bonfires and cans of half-empty hair spray dont mix....yes there is a story behind this one:

A few years ago, during the peak of my competitive paintball days, we were all staying in some cabins at the field the night before the big tourney. We wanted a bonfire for the night, but due to the rain, most of the wood was wet in the area and no one wanted to buy any. we found some semi-dry wood, srayed it with hairspray, threw in a couple matches and viola! fire. Everything was going just fine for about an hour when a buddy of mine walked and grabbed the can and pretended to throw it in the fire. Everyone laughed and someone yelled out the ole challene "No balls!".....sure enough the can was prompty tossed into the fire pit. 25 people immediately bolted out of the area, diving behind buildings, logs, whatever we could find. after about 5 minutes nothing had happened so someone finally got enough guts to look over the edge of the concrete fire pit border. the can had hit a piece of wood and bounced to the side (about 2 feet or so). A stick was used to push the can UNDER the fire logs....again everyone took off running. After about 30 seconds, a slight 'POP' was heard...compare it to a primer going off instead of a full round. Everyone breathed a huge sigh of relief and began to come back to the fire pit to resume conversations. All of a sudden, a 6' diameter fireball lept about 30' in the air with one of the loudest sounds ive heard!

Needless to say, no more cans of hairspray into the fire anymore, haha.

Im sure Ill think of more if i try

[DocMcG]

Here's two:

1. Fire a shotgun down a tin-horn from the inside of one of your knees while squatting - at a skunk no less! Oh, it got ahold of several of my senses as a twelve-year-old! TOUCH, SOUND & SMELL!

2. Roll a metal four (horizontal) panel garage door down while not paying attention to finger placement and panel seams! OUCH! The door continues downward while the seam closes and the door is nearly impossible to raise with fingers stuck in the now closed seam. Damn I am glad it was my left hand. I rarely close a garage door without thinking about that day standing in the drive, shaking from the pain and not being able to get the door to lift! ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

This thread makes me laugh and confirms that there are others out there like me!

Cheers,

Kyle

Edited January 27, 2010 by DocMcG