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MichiganShootist

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About MichiganShootist

  • Rank
    Beyond it All
  • Birthday 10/25/1944

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Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Lake, Michigan
  • Interests
    IDPA and USPSA shooting, pistol instruction, hunting, &
    riding my Honda Magna
  • Real Name
    Mark Walter

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  1. The second video broke my heart. The dude has an Indiana University tee shirt on. W T F There should be a nics check before those shirts are sold to an animal who obviously never crossed the doors into a classroom of that fine institution. Alumni Rant Off !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. THE ITALIAN WEDDING TEST I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.' I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lord... And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.' And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
  3. A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck, ready to go. "From now on when I say BELL 1 I want you to strip naked. When I say BELL 2 I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3 We are going to make love all night. " The next night he came home from work and yelled " BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off. When he yelled "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed. When he yelled "BELL 3!", they began making love. After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!" "What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband? "ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she replied "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE."
  4. My wife brought this kind of math to my attention last Summer. I participated in the IDPA Nationals. Including the round trip drive from Northern Michigan to Oklahoma I was gone 6 days and my "time" for the match was 130 seconds. For some strange reason she didn't think that those 130 seconds justified the stack of credit card bills that I brought home. It's simular to me buying a parcel of land, fencing it, building deer blinds on it, then planting grain..... so that I can put a couple hundred pounds of venison (which I pay to have processed) in my freezer. I really don't want to know the cost per pound.
  5. 1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, But I got canned. Couldn't concentrate. 2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, But just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. 3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, But wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job. 4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, But that was too exhausting. 5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, But just didn't have the thyme. 6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, But any way I sliced it.... Couldn't cut the mustard. 7. My best job was a Musician, But eventually found I wasn't noteworthy. 8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, But didn't have any patience. 9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in. 10. I became a Professional Fisherman, But discovered I couldn't live on my net income. 11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, But the work was just too draining. 12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, But they said I wasn't fit for the job.. 13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it. 14. My last job was working in Starbucks, But had to quit because it was the same old grind. 15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
  6. There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me,grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?", he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying." "This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me." "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I order a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"
  7. One of the clubs in my area has great bug matches. They just separate the shooters by gun caliber. That sets a pretty level playing field. They also divide shooters by classification by signing you in as your highest IDPA classification. The stages are of normal length..... Bad guys won't always come in a group of 5 LOL. I campagned for a BUG division of some kind for 5 years before giving up.
  8. Matt..... 39 isn't too old... I have tee shirts that are 40 :roflol: :roflol:
  9. I'd like to wish my good friend and shooting buddy Dr. Chris Martin a happy 39th birthday. :cheers: :cheers:
  10. The only reason I didn't put a Buckeye in the joke.... Was I didn't think any of their fans would clime a mountain without getting some form of under the table payment.
  11. A die hard Michigan State fan, a life time University of Michigan fan, and a Notre Dame fan ...are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most. The MSU fan insists that he is most loyal and then yells, "This is for SPARTANS!" and jumps off the mountain. Not to be out done, The Michigan fan next professes his love for his team. He screams,"This is for the "Wolverines" and pushes the Notre Dame fan off the mountain.
  12. One of the larger clubs in my neck of the woods has 450 members but is primarily a rifle club. Their pistol shooting is called Defensive Pistol Practice and it doesn't conform to any national organization..... like IDPA-USPSA etc. I went to one "match" and was astounded. People loading their guns directly behind people on the line shooting, folks serving as ROs who were there for their first ever pistol event. One dude had his loaded Glock stuck in his belt ('cause he forgot his holster) most everyone was "hot" but they allow dry firing nearly any place.etc. etc. Very scary. I went to the guy on the board responsible for range safety and convinced him to go with me to a well organized IDPA club in the area as a guest. I printed a copy of the rule book-- and sent it home with him with every safety problem he has at his club highlighted for him. It will be interesting to see if any of that "sticks".
  13. The cartridges are brand new HP units bought at Staples. They expire December 2012. I called Staples tech center and they said it was 99.99 % likely a print head problem.... especially since this machine has printed many--- many thousands of pages. One month last year I burned through 3 black cartridges in less than 3 weeeks:( I'm looking at an HP 6500A on line right now. I can get one of those for $100 with a factory rebate program... and it's a multi-function unit.... which is a good thing because my photo-copier is also on it's last legs. Any one have experience with that model?????
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