AlamoShooter Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 (edited) IN a Battle of Witt's , your defenseless I would speak slower, ...But you wouldn't confused as soon Edited May 16, 2012 by AlamoShooter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3gungeezer Posted May 21, 2012 Share Posted May 21, 2012 One of my favorites, Were your parents related before they were married? Usually leaves them speechless thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youngeyes Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 An oldie but a goodie. If my dog looked like you I'd shave his a$$ and teach him to walk backwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillD Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 " The problem with you boy, is you've got no grace. You have to allow a man his illusions." George Kennedy in Cahill, US Marshall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joefreas Posted May 22, 2012 Share Posted May 22, 2012 (edited) Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date. You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control. Edited May 22, 2012 by joefreas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 This thread is full of cockalorums, lickspittles, smellfunguses, snollygosters, ninnyhammers, mumpsimuses, milksops, and hobbledehoys. Sure, I may be a pettifogger, but at least I'm not a mooncalf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theycallmeingot Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 This thread is full of cockalorums, lickspittles, smellfunguses, snollygosters, ninnyhammers, mumpsimuses, milksops, and hobbledehoys. Sure, I may be a pettifogger, but at least I'm not a mooncalf. proudFEET! sorry, reminded me of lord of the rings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 This thread is full of cockalorums, lickspittles, smellfunguses, snollygosters, ninnyhammers, mumpsimuses, milksops, and hobbledehoys. Sure, I may be a pettifogger, but at least I'm not a mooncalf. proudFEET! sorry, reminded me of lord of the rings. "Confusticate and bebother those dwarves!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Santiago Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 A whoreson beetle-headed, flap-ear'd knave! - petruchio (shakespeare) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgnoyes Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 There's a really great one that ended up on the cutting room floor of Jurassic Park 2, very early where we're introduced to the big game hunter character. He observes a rowdy group at a restaurant harassing a waitress and walks up to the table, looks directly at the main instigator and declares "You, sir, are no gentleman!" The guy guffaws and says is that the best insult you can come up with? The hunter replies stolidly "I can think of none worse." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Youngeyes Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 A whoreson beetle-headed, flap-ear'd knave! - petruchio (shakespeare) Flap-ear'd knave.Hmmmmmmmm..... now who does that remind you of? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MT_Bear Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 From British Officer Evaluations: "This man is depriving some village of an idiot" "You'll' be lucky if you have this officer work for you" "Works very well when sober" "His men follow him out of mere curiosity" "Has the potential, with close supervision, to become a marginally satisfactory performer" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seale Posted July 8, 2012 Share Posted July 8, 2012 From my Dad: "I'd like to buy her for what shes worth and sell her for her asking price." Me to HR: "I'd rather hire a menstruating blonde monkey than someone with engineer in their resume. You can't tell them anything." My all time favorite was from the movie out of Africa. In a conversation where a douche finds out that Robert Redford had been bedding his wife. The husband confronts him and states "You mighten have asked." Redford replies, "I did.....She said yes." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmbaccolyte Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 "The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan Wait, wait! We have liberal friends? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outerlimits Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 "I've forgotten more than you'll ever know". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 "Your just now getting to where Iv'e already been." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillD Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 "I've forgotten more than you'll ever know". "I've spilled more than you've drank" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkrispies Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 A drunk to a waitress: "I'd really like to get in your pants." Waitress to drunk: "Thanks, but my pants already have an a_-hole in them." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savageman25 Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 I've been called worse, by a lot more important. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
z40acp Posted June 30, 2014 Share Posted June 30, 2014 I like the catcher in the news last week. He asked the umpire for a new ball, one that he could see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outerlimits Posted July 1, 2014 Share Posted July 1, 2014 I like the catcher in the news last week. He asked the umpire for a new ball, one that he could see. that was hilarious...he got tossed immediately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IHAVEGAS Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Many people don't know anything, that guy doesn't even suspect anything. Author Unknown "When he was born, the Doctor slapped his mother" Rodney Dangerfield, paraphrased Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dranoel Posted July 11, 2014 Share Posted July 11, 2014 "I would never call you stupid. It's quite obvious to anyone who knows you that you have an intellect and wit that surely rivals the worlds FINEST garden tools." "His slinky's kinked." "Boy is surfin' in Nebraska." "And you said PIGS were smart." (Me to co-worker after the new guy did something really dumb) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ANGRYREB Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Your mother should have held her water & DROWNED you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cavy Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 From an older co-worker to a young trainee. "What the hell do you know, I've got socks older than you" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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