dajarrel Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner) "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend ...if you have one." George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." Winston Churchill, in reply Quote Link to post Share on other sites
carinab Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 My favorite Churchill insult: If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee. - - - Lady Astor (to Winston Churchill) If you were my wife, I'd drink it. - - - Winston Churchill, in reply And another "celebrity insult" I found while researching the first: You will either die on the gallows or of a loathsome disease. - - - John Montague (to John Wilkes) That depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress. - - - John Wilkes, in reply Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tightloop Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 I like 'em.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
alellis Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 A snooty woman once said to Winston Churchhill. "You Sir are drunk." Churchhill replied "And you are ugly. But in the morning I will be sober" al Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Sam Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 My favorite classy insult of all time: " Um,...er,...I would love to take your point seriously...but that would be an affront to your intelligence" -William F. Buckley Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tightloop Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Redneck putdown... "...I hope your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you when you get home.." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SiG Lady Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 GOD, how I love a good insult!!! ...at someone else's expense, of course! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
geezer-lock Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 "I never forget a face, but in your case I'm willing to make an exception." Groucho Marx Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Al Capizzo Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 Another Groucho remark went something like, " I recieved an advance copy of your book and I've laughed for hours. I intend to read it someday." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
vrod2011 Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 To quote Cath Sloss (of Sloss Furnace fame in Birmingham, AL) "Here's to you, and here's to me. If ever we should disagree, here's to me, and to hell with thee!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gary Johnson Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 “The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they’re ignorant: It’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.” - Ronald Reagan Quote Link to post Share on other sites
wide45 Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 A great quote lives forever Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Derek45 Posted September 16, 2007 Share Posted September 16, 2007 My favorite Churchill insult:If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee. - - - Lady Astor (to Winston Churchill) If you were my wife, I'd drink it. - - - Winston Churchill, in reply That's the one I thought of when I clicked on this thread. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JoeLaFives Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Ralph Bellamy: You Bastard! Lee Marvin in Reply: "Yes by accident of birth, but you sir are a self made man!" from the movie the Professionals Quote Link to post Share on other sites
HSMITH Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 Out of 1.5 million, YOU were the strongest swimmer? Me, to a guy I used to work with. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Scout454 Posted November 8, 2008 Share Posted November 8, 2008 You sir are living proof that there are lifeguards in the gene pool. Me to a moron who used to work for me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Santiago Posted November 9, 2008 Share Posted November 9, 2008 Thou lump of foul deformity! - Richard III (Shakespeare) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Toolguy Posted November 9, 2008 Share Posted November 9, 2008 To an unpopular former boss when asked how thing were going - "We're having more fun than a barrel of managers!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MattYvip Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 My favorite Churchill insult: If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee. - - - Lady Astor (to Winston Churchill) If you were my wife, I'd drink it. - - - Winston Churchill, in reply Thats Just Awesome! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpyOne Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 To a co-worker... I don't think you're stupid, but you are definitely a carrier.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gunguru Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 "Are you born this way or did you learn to be stupid?" "Are you sure your hair never caught in fire, and your father tried to end it with a shovel?" (from an army instructor) "I really like to spend time with smart and nice people, so good bye" "He's so smart than we think he have 2 brains, badly, the first was lost few years ago and the second still search it" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TBeazlie Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 To a woman from a man after being told by her that his fly was open and his member was sticking out "Don't flatter yourself, it's hanging out" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Graham Smith Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 One of the best job performance reviews I ever read included the line, "Bob performs his job entirely to his own satisfaction." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
GrumpyOne Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 He's got a full six pack, but he's lacking the little plastic thingy to hold it all together. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
theycallmeingot Posted May 15, 2012 Share Posted May 15, 2012 a guy i used to work with always used to give another kid a hard time. he always used to say "Did your mom have any kids that lived?" Doesn't strictly make sense... but it was always funny. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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