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dajarrel

When Insults And People Had Class

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"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" - Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend ...if you have one."

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."

Winston Churchill, in reply

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My favorite Churchill insult:

If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee.

- - - Lady Astor (to Winston Churchill)

If you were my wife, I'd drink it.

- - - Winston Churchill, in reply

And another "celebrity insult" I found while researching the first:

You will either die on the gallows or of a loathsome disease.

- - - John Montague (to John Wilkes)

That depends on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress.

- - - John Wilkes, in reply

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A snooty woman once said to Winston Churchhill. "You Sir are drunk."

Churchhill replied "And you are ugly. But in the morning I will be sober"

al

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My favorite classy insult of all time:

" Um,...er,...I would love to take your point seriously...but that would be an affront to your intelligence" -William F. Buckley

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Redneck putdown... "...I hope your mother runs out from under the porch and bites you when you get home.." :lol:

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GOD, how I love a good insult!!!

...at someone else's expense, of course! :P

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Another Groucho remark went something like, " I recieved an advance copy of your book and I've laughed for hours. I intend to read it someday."

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To quote Cath Sloss (of Sloss Furnace fame in Birmingham, AL) "Here's to you, and here's to me. If ever we should disagree, here's to me, and to hell with thee!"

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“The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they’re ignorant: It’s just that they know so much that isn’t so.”

- Ronald Reagan

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My favorite Churchill insult:

If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee.

- - - Lady Astor (to Winston Churchill)

If you were my wife, I'd drink it.

- - - Winston Churchill, in reply

That's the one I thought of when I clicked on this thread.

anim_rofl2.gif

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Ralph Bellamy:

You Bastard!

Lee Marvin in Reply:

"Yes by accident of birth, but you sir are a self made man!"

from the movie the Professionals

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Out of 1.5 million, YOU were the strongest swimmer? Me, to a guy I used to work with.

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You sir are living proof that there are lifeguards in the gene pool. Me to a moron who used to work for me.

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To an unpopular former boss when asked how thing were going - "We're having more fun than a barrel of managers!"

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My favorite Churchill insult:

If I were married to you, I'd put poison in your coffee.

- - - Lady Astor (to Winston Churchill)

If you were my wife, I'd drink it.

- - - Winston Churchill, in reply

Thats Just Awesome!

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To a co-worker... I don't think you're stupid, but you are definitely a carrier....

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"Are you born this way or did you learn to be stupid?"

"Are you sure your hair never caught in fire, and your father tried to end it with a shovel?" (from an army instructor)

"I really like to spend time with smart and nice people, so good bye"

"He's so smart than we think he have 2 brains, badly, the first was lost few years ago and the second still search it"

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To a woman from a man after being told by her that his fly was open and his member was sticking out

"Don't flatter yourself, it's hanging out"

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One of the best job performance reviews I ever read included the line, "Bob performs his job entirely to his own satisfaction."

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He's got a full six pack, but he's lacking the little plastic thingy to hold it all together.

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a guy i used to work with always used to give another kid a hard time. he always used to say "Did your mom have any kids that lived?"

Doesn't strictly make sense... but it was always funny. :)

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