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dajarrel

When Insults And People Had Class

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IN a Battle of Witt's , your defenseless

I would speak slower, ...But you wouldn't confused as soon

Edited by AlamoShooter

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One of my favorites, Were your parents related before they were married? Usually leaves them speechless thinking.

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An oldie but a goodie. If my dog looked like you I'd shave his a$$ and teach him to walk backwards. :D

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" The problem with you boy, is you've got no grace. You have to allow a man his illusions."

George Kennedy in Cahill, US Marshall

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Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

Edited by joefreas

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This thread is full of cockalorums, lickspittles, smellfunguses, snollygosters, ninnyhammers, mumpsimuses, milksops, and hobbledehoys.

Sure, I may be a pettifogger, but at least I'm not a mooncalf.

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This thread is full of cockalorums, lickspittles, smellfunguses, snollygosters, ninnyhammers, mumpsimuses, milksops, and hobbledehoys.

Sure, I may be a pettifogger, but at least I'm not a mooncalf.

proudFEET!

sorry, reminded me of lord of the rings.

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This thread is full of cockalorums, lickspittles, smellfunguses, snollygosters, ninnyhammers, mumpsimuses, milksops, and hobbledehoys.

Sure, I may be a pettifogger, but at least I'm not a mooncalf.

proudFEET!

sorry, reminded me of lord of the rings.

"Confusticate and bebother those dwarves!"

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There's a really great one that ended up on the cutting room floor of Jurassic Park 2, very early where we're introduced to the big game hunter character. He observes a rowdy group at a restaurant harassing a waitress and walks up to the table, looks directly at the main instigator and declares "You, sir, are no gentleman!" The guy guffaws and says is that the best insult you can come up with? The hunter replies stolidly "I can think of none worse."

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A whoreson beetle-headed, flap-ear'd knave! - petruchio (shakespeare)

Flap-ear'd knave.Hmmmmmmmm..... now who does that remind you of? <_<

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From British Officer Evaluations:

"This man is depriving some village of an idiot"

"You'll' be lucky if you have this officer work for you"

"Works very well when sober"

"His men follow him out of mere curiosity"

"Has the potential, with close supervision, to become a marginally satisfactory performer"

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From my Dad: "I'd like to buy her for what shes worth and sell her for her asking price."

Me to HR: "I'd rather hire a menstruating blonde monkey than someone with engineer in their resume. You can't tell them anything."

My all time favorite was from the movie out of Africa. In a conversation where a douche finds out that Robert Redford had been bedding his wife. The husband confronts him and states "You mighten have asked." Redford replies, "I did.....She said yes."

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"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant: It's just that they know so much that isn't so."

- Ronald Reagan

Wait, wait! We have liberal friends?

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"I've forgotten more than you'll ever know".

"I've spilled more than you've drank"

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A drunk to a waitress: "I'd really like to get in your pants."

Waitress to drunk: "Thanks, but my pants already have an a_-hole in them."

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I like the catcher in the news last week. He asked the umpire for a new ball, one that he could see.

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I like the catcher in the news last week. He asked the umpire for a new ball, one that he could see.

that was hilarious...he got tossed immediately.

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Many people don't know anything, that guy doesn't even suspect anything.

Author Unknown

"When he was born, the Doctor slapped his mother"

Rodney Dangerfield, paraphrased

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"I would never call you stupid. It's quite obvious to anyone who knows you that you have an intellect and wit that surely rivals the worlds FINEST garden tools."

"His slinky's kinked."

"Boy is surfin' in Nebraska."

"And you said PIGS were smart." (Me to co-worker after the new guy did something really dumb)

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From an older co-worker to a young trainee. "What the hell do you know, I've got socks older than you"

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