Kimberkid Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 So I started hanging out/talking to this new girl a while back. Real sweet, knockout pretty and a lot of fun to hang out with. We hang out for maybe a week and half and then she just drops out of the blue. She wont return calls, wont talk to me, nothing. 2 weeks go by and she decides to call me at 2 a.m. crying her eyes out and apologizing. She says over and over how sorry she is for ditching me, I was so nice to her, she feels so horrible.... So I figure nothing can be gained by guilt tripping her or yelling at her, so I just drop it. I tell her it's no big deal, life goes on, of course we can pick up where we left off, and enjoy each others company again. I have reason to suspect she was trying a 2 week reconciliation with her ex, but it isnt my business, and we didnt have any kind of commitment, so she is free to do as she pleases. 3 days later... I am waiting outside of her work for her shift to end, when I get a call on my cell phone. It is a TOTALLY platonic female friend and we start BSing and telling jokes. She walks up behind me (unbeknownst to me) and listens to less than 10 seconds of our conversation.(which was, to the outsider, potentially an "adult" conversation, though not in the extreme) I then notice her, end my conversation and hang up the phone. She goes crazy and starts screaming about how I am cheating on her and she cant believe this, and on and on. I try to calm her down and tell her that nothing is going on, I was telling a joke to a PLATONIC friend. (this is 100% the truth) She relaxes a bit, says "ok, fine" we chit chat for a few mins and I leave with the understanding that she is gonna call me later and we have a date the next night. That was 11 days ago, and no word since. I tried calling her work and asking a mutual aquantiance to speak with her and tell her that I would love to speak with her, and go over the truth again and try to have a relationship with her. But so far, nothing. This sucks because she is certain she caught me messing around and is now doing what is the right and just thing to do, had I actually been messing around, but I wasnt. I am also perturbed as to how it would be even possible for me to be cheating when we had no kind of commitment. And, for the record, 1 final time, I wasnt messing around. I've sorta decided to just let this one go. She is real sweet and I woulda liked to spend more time with her, but I decided some time ago to never "chase" another girl, I decided if someone didnt want to be with me, I wouldnt try to convince them. I dont wanna be with someone that has to be coerced into being with me. Am I doing the right thing here, or should I be a sell out and go to her crying, begging and pleading? This isnt a real total heartbreaker, just something that sucks. I didnt have a lot of time to develop a real strong attachment, so this isnt gonna send me to great depths of depression, I just hate giving up and something before I give it a real effort. Feel free to respond and please tell me I am not the only one who has ever been caught doing nothing wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rtr Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 It's obvious from this girls behaviour she is nuts. Stay away from her. Remember no matter how cute you think she is, some guy somewhere is tired of her, no reason for you to be the next guy on that list. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
standles Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 I hate that to. Advice. (In my best Motny Python Impression) Run Away Run Away... This one sounds like she is on a total rebound or nuts. Let it go an move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AzShooter Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Her not trusting you is her problem, not yours. Walk away, don't look back! Do you really have time in your life to worry about it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 I hate that to.Advice. (In my best Motny Python Impression) Run Away Run Away... This one sounds like she is on a total rebound or nuts. Let it go an move on. +1 and do not delay! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomfturner Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 do not walk ... RUN!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raz-0 Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Drama is for the movie or tv screen, not my daily life if I can avoid it. Anyone who feels a need to create unnecessary drama can feel free to leave anytime they want. I try to keep to that policy since the last time I dated a drama queen. Simply do not need it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nolan Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 I speak from personal experience "RUN!" and don't look back. Whatever bad/sad/guilt feelings you are experiencing are exactly what she wants you to feel. Nolan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chriss Grube Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 They are all nuts. It is just a matter of finding one that is not totally over the edge. It also helps if she lets you go shooting without bitching about it for the next 2 weeks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hey QuicksDraw! Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 (edited) This story reminds me of a woman I had the misfortune to live with who turned out to be mentally ill. She overheard me on the phone and knew that I was talking to another woman and misunderstood the conversation. About a week later she found out the woman was my sister who was giving me advice on a present I was trying to buy for her. She starts crying and tells me to stop taking my medicine. I was talking Neurantin for leg pain wich comes in an opauge capsual and was the only medicine that enabled me to walk. I had to use a walker to move about at that time. When I asked her why she said she had gone into the bathroom after hearing me on the phone and emptied the medicine out of the capsuals, put them back together, and placed the empty capsuals back in the bottle. I had a new apartment within a week. Taking medicine out is one step away from putting poison in. Consider yourself lucky and move on. Edited January 3, 2006 by Hey QuicksDraw! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ima45dv8 Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 I fired my last girlfriend because I was tired of suffering the fallout of her ex-husband's behavior. There's nothing like getting yelled at because somebody else was a jerk. I think you're in the same position. Walk away, knowing that one day when she gets her head straight over her ex she'll make a fine companion for someone -- just not you.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRe Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 The first hint was her dropping out for 2 weeks, and then calling you at 2am bawling her eyes out. This was a hint of the drama to follow.... She has issues, and you don't need to deal with them for her, or further play into her psychosis.... I've never been in the situation you're describing, per se, but I have been overheard by a girlfriend's friends talking about someone (who wasn't my girlfriend) while rather hosed, and they told her I was talking about *her*, and she broke up w/ me over it. Looking back at it, it's really funny - cause she thought I called her fat, and she was, like, maybe 80 pounds soaking wet??? Ah, the lovely days of complete and utter drunkeness on everyone's part.... ....glad I don't engage in that sort of behavior anymore.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cking Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Beauty is skin deep Psycho is through and through and lasts forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norbs007 Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Kimber, running away sounds like a really good advise. For me trust is very important in a relationship. Sounds like she is lost somehow and maybe just needs a good friend right now. If I were in your situation now and might want to be with her, I'll have a heart to heart with her and just be a friend...as her best friend. You are right about not chasing after girls, wait for her to call you. If she doesn't, then it is not meant to be. Never know...she'll probably realize that u r d man! At least before walking away. FWIW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigDave Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Considering that there isn't anything to walk away from really, just drop it and go own about your business. She ran, you didn't. But, despite all of this, if you think she's worth the chase she is putting up to you, I'd tell you good luck and put on your headgear and mouthpiece b/c it could get ugly. Women like men to chase them a bit, maybe this one is just a bit of a sadist which ultimately may not be a bad thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kimberkid Posted January 3, 2006 Author Share Posted January 3, 2006 Thanks everyone, I am starting to feel a mite better. I dig that some girls want to be chased, and that for them it might be a need to feel extra wanted. On one hand every girl needs to be shown that people will go to great lengths for them, and that they are truly wanted. On the other hand, I have always come straight out and not played retarded games. If I like a girl, I say so, and if she likes me, I want her to say so. I've long thought that life is to short, and with the time already allocated to shooting and motorcycles, that leaves precious little time for wasting when we could all just be grown up and honest from the start. please continue to respond as this looks as if it may get humorous and I would love a good laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.40AET Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 They are all nuts. It is just a matter of finding one that is not totally over the edge. It also helps if she lets you go shooting without bitching about it for the next 2 weeks. Amen brother! Be glad she left, it will save you the trouble of getting rid of her later. I chased after a couple and they ditched with out a word. I still wonder............wonder who they're tormenting these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spook Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 (edited) Been there done that. Be careful with girls who do not trust you. We have a saying in The Netherlands that would translate to: "One can only trust someone else as much as he can be trusted himself". If she doesn't trust you with your friends, what does that say about her? Run, while you can (you say it's no heartbreaker, so use that wisely ) Edited January 3, 2006 by spook Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeneralChang Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Maybe she's using the incident as an excuse to get out of the relationship, perhaps she made up with her boyfriend. As adults we are all responsible for own actions and emotions. You can't make someone feel a certain way, they feel a certain way based on their beliefs and experiences. I don't think you should run away, only make peace with yourself in knowing that you did all that you could to salvage the relationship. Maybe a short polite note wishing her well and giving her the option to contact you when and if she's ready would be appropriate. Hope everything works out. Profile of a Sociopath Check out the link and you might be surprised at what you find. If anything coincides with the link then you probably should run. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRe Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 That profile was written about Sheldon, BTW.... Chapter 9 in his biography... :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlamoShooter Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 (edited) Beauty is skin deepPsycho is through and through and lasts forever! ,,,AH ,, I bet you got an X wife? or two Kimber ,, KID hay If this girl is not a shooter ,, , why ,,the ,,what? I would have to bet you have never even heard of ,,'The Free Clinc'?? Edited January 3, 2006 by AlamoShooter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeneralChang Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 That profile was written about Sheldon, BTW.... Chapter 9 in his biography... :lol: Actually this information was given to me by XRe's therapist because she was trying to organize an intervention for him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viggen Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 Distance cures many problems/potential problems - especially with a nut case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Middle Man Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 (edited) Is she a "Rollergirl"? Talk about a sack full o'nutjobs... Seriously, I had an experience like that about 9 years ago. She was somewhat nuts, I apparently was a quasi-rebound relationship or "the old boyfriends out of town for the summer" relationship or something in between, but by Labor Day she was back in her previous relationship. Sounds like boomerang syndrome, she went back where she came from... Was I just talking about 9 years ago? Good Grief!!! The good times, the carefree undergraduate years weren't that long ago were they???? Edited January 3, 2006 by Middle Man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokshwn Posted January 3, 2006 Share Posted January 3, 2006 +10 to all the advice above. Run. By your own admission you had no kind of commitment to this girl so what is the big loss. Sure she's cute, but she is also a first class psycho who has no control over her life. In my experience this combo is a dime a dozen (probably applies to guys too). Keep an eye out for cute, sweet, and poop all in one nice little stack. This creature is infinitely more rare however the reward factor is also much greater. Good luck, Craig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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