Things You Only Do Once -

[E K]

My dad is 48 but he's old school. He's a strong advocate of the "beat the hell out of your kid" discipline technique. I am only 21 but I can relate to a few of these stories. Not too many, though, because his technique worked. After the first few major screw ups, I didn't do them again. Maybe parents should just hit their kids every once in a while. I know I thank my parents frequently for doing it to me.

When I was 17 I was trying to install a new set of speakers in my car. I ran out of wire crimps and needed to go to the hardware store to get more. Since my car was in pieces in the garage, I needed to borrow my dad's truck. He was out of town on a business trip and was using his work truck. He said I could use his personal truck, "as long as you don't scratch it or I'll kill you" (he said that last part jokingly, but with a hint of "Seriously I'll kill you")

My dad's truck is parked in front of the garage door where he kept his boat, the truck facing the street. So I go inside and grab his spare set of keys and get in. I start to pull forward when I hear the most awful grinding sound I've ever heard in my life. I slam on the brakes, having only traveled about ten feet. I start shaking as I look in the rear view mirror. I get out of the truck and nearly pass out (seriously) from the sight in front of me. The garage door has been completely ripped off the house. Along with it is my dad's bass boat (tied for second with his children on things he loves).

My phone rings. It's my dad. He says, "oh by the way make sure you unhook the boat first."

My dad fishes about four days a week in the summer. To expedite his frequent trips, he got to where he would just back his boat into the garage and lower the garage door to where it contacted the trailer hitch on the boat trailer. He would never actually unhook the boat. He would then just roll the door up and take off whenever he wanted to go fishing.

I didn't know this.

[E K]

I set out last fall to create some cheap, homemade target stands. By my calculations I was going to make 6 stands for $25.00 ($4 each!) and consume 2 hours of my Saturday. To make it even better I decided I would turn it into an educational session by enlisting the assistance of my sons ( 13, 11 & 8)

So after a quick trip to the hardware store I get them set up and have them measuring out the wood. Meanwhile I get out my 10-year old compound mitre saw. You know...the one with the broken safety guard from years ago. Who needs a safety guard? I will fix that tomorrow. This will only take me a few minutes.

So not ten minutes into this wonderful idea of mine as I'm completing a cut the boys decide they can no longer work together cooperatively and begin fighting. I raise the blade and as I do I look up to referee the fight. At the same time I lift my right hand into the bottom of the saw blade as it is spinning down! (remember that safety guard I was going to fix tomorrow?). Amazingly I somehow miss my trigger finger but catch the inside of my middle finger, trenching out the side of it! Ouch!

6 stitches and a $1,000 emergency room bill later those damn $4 stands cost me $170 each!

[a.roberts]

So, I was in Minnesota visiting family and flew back a little early to take an RO class in Austin.

I flew in to Dallas at 9:15 on Friday night, got home around 11:30 and then was back out the door around midnight.

Went and picked up my buddy in Bryan/College Station, and then we were off to Austin.

Keep in mind, I'd been up since 8 am and now it's around 1:30 on Saturday morning, and I'm driving.

We made it to the hotel around 3:30 am, by some strange stroke of fate, alive.

Then we wake up around 6:30 or 7 to get ready for class. That first day sure did drag.

On the drive home, my buddy says, "You know, why didn't you just fly into Austin?"

"DOH!"

[Larry D]

OK this one happened to me....

Honest, I am the victim.......

Me an a buddy were out boonie-hopping in the desert (we were 17) when said buddy spots a jack rabbit on my side of the car.

He decides to cut one loose from his Dads 1911.

Imagine what it's like hearing "Lean back for a second" just as the muzzle of the 1911 appears before your face inside an old VW Baja bug without a headliner or door panels.

He missed the bunny.

Edited March 27, 2011 by Larry D

[BillChunn]

Things I learned at the range:

Shooting an AK - Things not to do when using the "off hand" position:

Do NOT hold the weapon by the magazine with your thumb sticking up.... in the path of the charging handle.

The charging handle will win... and leave a nice star shaped gash on the thumb...

HH

[Vespid_Wasp]

removing a drain plug in a small bass boat while in the middle of a lake, only to drive back to the boat ramp with one finger stuck in the plug opening...

[stringcheese]

My Step-Father bought himself a nice elephant gun for his Africa trip about 5 years ago. Winchester Model 70 chambered in .378 Wetherby Magnum (no muzzle brake). He asks me to sight it in for him. Well, this ain't my first rodeo so I put 2 sandbags between me and the rifle and do about 5 strings of 3 rounds and get her sighted in. I've been shooting my whole life and I am kinda cocky when it comes to guns, so I tell him I'm going to shoot it once unprotecetd to see how bad it is.

I pulled the rifle in really tight with my right hand and had a firm grip on the fore stock with my left, and bang.

I swear I saw stars. I kept my composure and got the rifle safely back on the bench. Then I went into the fetal position on the gravel, under the bench for about 10 minutes. If you think you can shoot it, come on over and I'll have him dig it out!

Anyone ever barefoot ski backwards, and fall?

First thing that hits the water at 45mph is your ass, then the underside of your chin. RIP Steve (my barefoot coach)

Airsoft hurts.

Never attempt to coax a morey eel out of his hole with your hand. I am lucky he bit my finger parallel to my bone and not perpendicular to it.

Never try wakeboarding in San Diego for your first time in October, there are fish bigger than you in the waves and they scare the krap out of me.

Don't let your friends talk you into a second lap around the mall on a Saturday on your rollerblades.

Never checker anything while it is in your hand.

Never pry on anything with your fingers wrapped around the prybar, use the heel of your hand while pushing.

I once went up a mountain road at 2am and realized we were out of beer, 1/4 tank of gas from a gas station, with a quarter tank of gas, on a road so narrow I was dragging the passanger sideview mirror on the rocks. I drove the pathfinder down the mountain with the engine off, somehow made it to a gas station, and waited for the gas station to open.

Don't pass out anywhere near a camp fire on a cold night.

NEVER do a high speed 180 in an open bow competition ski boat with someone in one of the front seats.

Never loan anyone (especially your best friend, sister, brother, or close relative) your ATV, boat, dirt bike, rifle, shotgun, or snowmobile. It never comes back the same. Nnd they never admit to anything unless they are in the Hospital.

I have done all these things and more!

Proud to be here, proud to serve!

BTW My step Dad got the Winchster for 400 with a leupold vx2 and a box of shells for $400. There was one shell fired out of the box.

Edited April 17, 2011 by stringcheese

[stringcheese]

Out deer hunting in Georgia many years back. We were walking through the woods in the early afternoon.

Feeling the call of nature, I walked up to a fallen pine tree, leaned my rifle against it and proceed to do my business, not paying too much attention to my aim.

I looked up and there were two bucks standing about 20 yards right in front of me.

All of the sudden I’m watching the deer running off at warp speed as a blood curdling yell echoed through the woods scaring them off. There must have been some sort of time warp or sensory disconnect, as I realized it was me that was doing the yelling.

A wasp had stung me right on the end of my ….! I can’t begin to describe the pain.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. As in shooting, be aware of your target and what is behind it. Especially if there’s a wasps nest in the line of fire.

I had the exact same echo off the trees in the distance when I was painting a facia after I had thoroughly checked the soffet for hornets, but didn't see the hornets in the attic.

[DMS42]

When I was about 8 I sat down on some sacks on top of some boxes in the neighbor's garage. The sacks contained a hornet's nest. They even got into my hair and were still stinging me as my mom and dad were pulling them off my chest and back. It took a long time before I would go back into that garage and I don't remember ever sitting down again.

[Wild Gene]

Never leave your pickup parked crossways in the middle of the street, with the windows down, keys in the ignition, beer cans on the floor, guns in the gunrack, running, and tell the cops you weren't drinking the next morning while smelling of stale beer and vomit at the police station the next morning. They will just laugh at you and your friend.

Sad but true story. Not my pickup, but I was in fact involved in the story. GO COUGS!

WG

[JKSNIPER]

Ok...here goes my stuff you only do once story ...long story here but trust me...I may be slow but I'm worth waiting for (lol).

Long ago...in a galaxy far away.....I was in the USMC stationed...stateside...somewhere where they store "Highly Dangerous Ordanance Material".

Super secret squirrel stuff.

Think ...long pier with strange underwater type vehicles docking to receive new...stuff. You get the idea.

Anyway....I was Sgt Of The Guard this particular evening and decided to check the guys out and make sure they were doing their jobs.

2 of the Marines on duty that night were friends of mine and I was sure they were doing their duty so I figured I'd have a little fun while doing mine. Big mistake.

The sentries drove pickup trucks (Dodge) and they would pull into the driveway of a storage bunker between the bunker itself and the blast wall, stop a second or two to flip the padlock to show they had checked that bunker to be sure it was locked, then drive out to go to the next bunker.

I parked my vehicle away in the woods out of sight of this particular bunker and awaited their arrival.

When they stopped to check the lock I stepped onto the tailgate and climbed into the pickup's bed as they pulled away from the bunker.

I made my sneaky way up close to the back window listening to their conversation as they drove on unaware that they now had a passenger.

I don't know why I listen to the "evil" voice inside but it said to me "Hey lean out the side and scare the driver by yelling and grabbing him."

It was a warm summer night and they both had their windows open so thats what I did....leaned out and grabbed the driver's arm yelling "Arrrrgh!" as loud as I could.

Well the driver STOOD on the gas propelling me to the back of the bed slamming my head into the tailgate.

Before I could collect my wits the driver then STOOD on the brake propelling me at GREAT SPEED forward into the back window of the pickup.

FOrtunately the window stayed intact and I avoided damaging Govt property with my face.

I was laying in the bed of the pickup moaning when the two guys came around the back of the truck pointing their rifles at me yelling to get my hands up until one of them realized who I was and said (in southern)"Sergeant Klein? Are you all ok?"

I was bleeding all over the place and dizzy but I did commend them both for their reaction and reflexes and their cover procedure in approaching an semi-conscious unk sub in their pickup truck bed.

Then I had them take me back to my truck where I drove promptly back to mainside and to the e-club for a pitcher of ice to massage my face with.

I had a knot on my cheekbone easily the size of a billiard ball for several days and had to tell the story a zillion times...but...each time I told it I was careeful to praise the two guys for their superior reaction and decisive action to an unk situation.

I was VERY lucky I didn't permanently damage anything on my beautiful face (lol) and didn't break my cheekbone. Doc said I had a hard head (Fargin squid).

Both guys were good friends of mine and I often wonder what became of them.

One was from Kentucky and I remember him speaking to his mother on the pay phone in the barracks when she apparently told him to "git the Yankee out your voice boy!" he handed the phone to me so she could experience a real live yankee. I (Bronx born Nyer ) said "Hey ..Mrs Newton....How you doing?" and all I heard was "Oh my God!"

Fun times....

[Jim Norman]

My dad is 48 but he's old school. He's a strong advocate of the "beat the hell out of your kid" discipline technique. I am only 21 but I can relate to a few of these stories. Not too many, though, because his technique worked. After the first few major screw ups, I didn't do them again. Maybe parents should just hit their kids every once in a while. I know I thank my parents frequently for doing it to me.

When I was 17 I was trying to install a new set of speakers in my car. I ran out of wire crimps and needed to go to the hardware store to get more. Since my car was in pieces in the garage, I needed to borrow my dad's truck. He was out of town on a business trip and was using his work truck. He said I could use his personal truck, "as long as you don't scratch it or I'll kill you" (he said that last part jokingly, but with a hint of "Seriously I'll kill you")

My dad's truck is parked in front of the garage door where he kept his boat, the truck facing the street. So I go inside and grab his spare set of keys and get in. I start to pull forward when I hear the most awful grinding sound I've ever heard in my life. I slam on the brakes, having only traveled about ten feet. I start shaking as I look in the rear view mirror. I get out of the truck and nearly pass out (seriously) from the sight in front of me. The garage door has been completely ripped off the house. Along with it is my dad's bass boat (tied for second with his children on things he loves).

My phone rings. It's my dad. He says, "oh by the way make sure you unhook the boat first."

My dad fishes about four days a week in the summer. To expedite his frequent trips, he got to where he would just back his boat into the garage and lower the garage door to where it contacted the trailer hitch on the boat trailer. He would never actually unhook the boat. He would then just roll the door up and take off whenever he wanted to go fishing.

I didn't know this.

I think I need to post this one in our service department. We've had the backed through the door, drove out the back of the garage (No door, just a wall)took out the center post between the doors calls, but this one I have not seen...Yet!

[SethML3602]

Guy only.

Having your Steering Wheel tilted all the way down... when you try to slide outta the seat.. Roll over a nut... first time i did it i fell outta the truck right in front of oncoming traffic.

[JKSNIPER]

Vehicle repair.....not my mistake but I was there so here goes...

In ESU we drove big trucks. When they blew a tire we had to cal a professional tire service. We had a contract with a tire repair company and when in off hours and we couldn't drive it over to their lot they would dispatch a guy or 2 in their service truck to respond to whereever we were at the time.

My partner and I had handled a extrication call and in leaving the scene ran over some mangled piece of vehicle which punctured the inner tire on the truck.

We managed to get it back to our base and called the 24 hour repair #.

The guy responded and the midnight crew was just coming on duty when he arrived so I'm standing in our truck bay talking with my partner and a couple guys from the midnight crew.

The repair guy was an older fellow and had obviously done this many times before so I was concerned but shrugged it off when I saw him hook up the compressor to the tire in question, secure it down, then turn his attention elsewhere while the compressor was pumping mucho air into the tire.

The guy turned back to the tire and I was just saying to my partner that "Gee hes putting an aweful lot of air into that tire" when the tire exploded.

It sounded like a shotgun had fired and the rim kicked up and smashed into this poor guys face.

He went down like a box of rocks with his nose broken and blood everywhere.

We called for an ambulance but the guy didn't want to go to the hospital....he just wanted to finish his job and (now) replace the tire.

We almost had to physically restrain him and force him into the ambulance.

The noise of the tire blowing up was so loud guys came running from the lunchroom and upstairs portion of our facility thinking someone had A.D.'d with one of their weapons.

The guy was ok. Mild concussion and broken nose and probably more damage to his pride than his face.

JK

[SethML3602]

O O i thought of another one

Teach a friend to ride a motorcycle using YOUR motorcycle. Luckily was a good friend and paid for the parts but i was still out of a bike for 3 weeks waiting on the parts.

[Steven Cline]

50 gallons of gasoline diesel in the tank of a diesel gasoline truck van.

My version... gawd I was tired that Thursday night and obviously not thinking straight.

Edited April 25, 2011 by Steven Cline

[Paul-the new guy]

ok, here is mine.... we were making acetelene bombs with ballons in my dads garage. Being young and bullet proof my friends and I went in search of a bigger bang... we got a kitchen trash bag and started filling it with acetelene... I was holding the bag and decided to shake it a little to puff it up...that is the last thing I remember for over an hour. Acetelene is unstable and when I shook the bag it blew up. I could not hear for a week. It blew one of my friends out the door, the garage door was up and had windows in it. All of the windows were blown out in the door and in the walls the explosion was so powerful it loosened the plywood on the roof. They had to replace the whole roof. It was not the smartest thing I have ever done... never did it again!

[Hairtrigger]

I work on aerial lifts for a living.... when they break down on the jobsite it is often my job to get them up and running ASAP....

I was called to a 130' lift about 45' up stuck.... knowing a few tricks.... I ended up getting it on 2 wheels....

[SiG Lady]

"...and when I shook the bag it blew up."

Holy s**t! You're lucky to be alive!!

[steviesterno]

I just tumbled 45, 40, 9mm, and 223 brass without sorting it first. It spent an hour in the tumbler and about 2 hours getting pulled apart.

Not fatal, but surely frustrating... won't do that again

[benos]

ok, here is mine.... we were making acetelene bombs with ballons in my dads garage. Being young and bullet proof my friends and I went in search of a bigger bang... we got a kitchen trash bag and started filling it with acetelene... I was holding the bag and decided to shake it a little to puff it up...that is the last thing I remember for over an hour. Acetelene is unstable and when I shook the bag it blew up. I could not hear for a week. It blew one of my friends out the door, the garage door was up and had windows in it. All of the windows were blown out in the door and in the walls the explosion was so powerful it loosened the plywood on the roof. They had to replace the whole roof. It was not the smartest thing I have ever done... never did it again!

Wow, you are lucky to have lived through that one!

I just tumbled 45, 40, 9mm, and 223 brass without sorting it first. It spent an hour in the tumbler and about 2 hours getting pulled apart.

Not fatal, but surely frustrating... won't do that again

Did that, once.

[Paul-the new guy]

ok, here is mine.... we were making acetelene bombs with ballons in my dads garage. Being young and bullet proof my friends and I went in search of a bigger bang... we got a kitchen trash bag and started filling it with acetelene... I was holding the bag and decided to shake it a little to puff it up...that is the last thing I remember for over an hour. Acetelene is unstable and when I shook the bag it blew up. I could not hear for a week. It blew one of my friends out the door, the garage door was up and had windows in it. All of the windows were blown out in the door and in the walls the explosion was so powerful it loosened the plywood on the roof. They had to replace the whole roof. It was not the smartest thing I have ever done... never did it again!

Wow, you are lucky to have lived through that one!

I should have started that post with... Don't try this at home!

I had no idea aceytelene was an unstable gas... the tanks are filled with a porous material. I learned from that for sure just not enough to NOT blow up a SCH-80 Spud Gun using a mixture of O2 and Acetlene a few years later... I was smart enough to put it on the ground inside of an old split rim off of a truck and to extend the wires from my igniter far enough to avoid death... The explosion was pretty spectacular though... I have done a few other crazy things...

[SethML3602]

ok, here is mine.... we were making acetelene bombs with ballons in my dads garage. Being young and bullet proof my friends and I went in search of a bigger bang... we got a kitchen trash bag and started filling it with acetelene... I was holding the bag and decided to shake it a little to puff it up...that is the last thing I remember for over an hour. Acetelene is unstable and when I shook the bag it blew up. I could not hear for a week. It blew one of my friends out the door, the garage door was up and had windows in it. All of the windows were blown out in the door and in the walls the explosion was so powerful it loosened the plywood on the roof. They had to replace the whole roof. It was not the smartest thing I have ever done... never did it again!

Wow, you are lucky to have lived through that one!

I should have started that post with... Don't try this at home!

I had no idea aceytelene was an unstable gas... the tanks are filled with a porous material. I learned from that for sure just not enough to NOT blow up a SCH-80 Spud Gun using a mixture of O2 and Acetlene a few years later... I was smart enough to put it on the ground inside of an old split rim off of a truck and to extend the wires from my igniter far enough to avoid death... The explosion was pretty spectacular though... I have done a few other crazy things...

i knew a guy once that blew up a PVC potato launcher. Was interesting watching him learn his lesson walking around with tiny slivers of PVC in his neck and upper body. Couldn't turn his head for like a month without it cutting him. Then there was this kid who almost killed himself by shooting a Propane tank from about 15feet away. Man this thread makes me remember all the stupid i have seen in my life

[jeffx]

I guess this forum's the best place to start this.

This one is guy only...

Remember that first time... When you threaded your belt through the first loop, then gave 'er a nice, sharp tug - and the buckle-end whipped up, down, then back up like a bullwhip and cracked you right in the balls.

I may have done that twice actually.

rofl

[Kevin Holman]

I was working in the family machine shop... we were running a huge batch of casting molds for a foundry. Each mold was about 16" wide by 8" tall and 48" long. Think about 200lbs each. A coworker was running the baby forklift, which would BARELY pick up a pallet of these things. Oh - the hydraulics would lift it no problem, but our small forklit didnt have enough weight in the ass-end to pick these up... and ONE more stcked on the pallet would lift the rear end of the forklift off the ground instead of lifting the pallet.

So be being the stupid guy I am... I catch him moving a pallet out of the shop outside to be loaded on the truck. While his head is turned as he is backing out, I thought it would be funny to push down on the pallet and lift the forklift up. Right when I do that, the damned pallet snaps and 16 of these behemoths just start rolling off the forks, my arm (up past my elbow) caught in all of them. My arm is trapped in the pile of them, and freaking out on adrenaline, I start yanking my arm outa there. Finally it gives.

I dont know how this is possible, but nothing was broken. Only broken skin all over the place.

I never messed with a moving forklift again.