Is this all there is to life ?

[caspian38]

My wife posed the question "is this all there is to life" after she got home from work.

Is work,eat, hobbies, love, and sleep... Life ? Can I help her find a better balance, or show her that none of it matters. Would she be happy lying on a beach, or would she ask me yet again "is this all there is to life".

Brian Enos asked "what is the most important thing" on another topic. It may be the same question ,or at least what is important.

Would selling everything, and traveling the world make her happy...can I give her happiness?

Should you be content with what you have? If I'm content can I want more ?

Don't feel you have to stay on topic... I'm not even sure what the topic really is!

Is this all there is to life ?

[Hi-Power Jack]

Work can provide only money to eat & sleep comfortably,

Or, work can provide some meaning to life - depends on you and your work.

Hobbies and love can be the purpose of life - depends on you.

If not, YOU have to define what is important to you - helping others? creating something? making someone else happy??

My purpose in life is to make my wife happy, as I can.

[RevolverJockey]

The key to happiness is to love what you have. Every moment contains all the joy we could ever want if we can still our minds and see it.

The past exists only in our minds and future will be what it is meant to be, but this is the only moment available to live. This moment becomes the next and the next and eventually perpetuates itself into what we once thought was the future but there is only every now.

I once thought of life a linear moving from left to right but each day is comprised of millions of choices that steer our individual and collective destiny. We are not always aware the role we play but we are often unwitting participants to what will be.

I believe life is like a river. We don't always know the path ahead and though if you try and carve your path, it is often best to sit back and be along for the drive. Regardless the way we see things, we only have one chance to live.

-Lee

Edited May 2, 2014 by RevolverJockey

[StraightUp_OG]

A student asked Soen Nakagawa during a meditation retreat, "I am very discouraged. What should I do?"

Soen replied, "Encourage others."

When we are wrapped up in what could be or should be we miss what is.

[Dr. Phil]

For me? Life is preparing for what comes after. What good is all the "in the moment" stuff if, when we die, we are woefully unprepared for what happens next? A way to increase the "living" part is, of course, to aid others, to give, to love without expectations of return, to "pay it forward" if you will. As stated, work enables us. For that and the play part. We can gain it all here and lose in the end if we are not wise. Nice topic... Wonder how long it will survive?

[Sarge]

Best Tee Shirt I ever saw said, "It doesn't get any better than this", on the front. On the back it said, "So you might as well get used to it."

Life is what you make it. I don't believe life is anything like the Brady Bunch. We go to work at something we probably don't like in order to do some of the things we do like.

[alma]

"Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others...By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves."

Edited May 2, 2014 by alma

[Sarge]

"Generally speaking, the most miserable people I know are those who are obsessed with themselves; the happiest people I know are those who lose themselves in the service of others...By and large, I have come to see that if we complain about life, it is because we are thinking only of ourselves."

And there are a lot of miserable people out there!

[Lifeislarge]

I go to bed each night and finish the day saying "Lord, I thank you and I praise you for all of your blessings on this day." I then list all of the things that I am grateful for, big and small. I have lived through some catastrophic circumstances and have plenty to look back on and be grateful that I am no longer there.

A good friend once told me that if you choose to live by certain principles in all of your affairs, and be of maximum service, then you will have a life better than you could've ever imagined. And that just when you thought it couldn't get any better, guess what, it will. This has proven to be true more times than could be considered mere coincidence.

Edited May 2, 2014 by Lifeislarge

[MetropolisLake]

My wife posed the question "is this all there is to life" after she got home from work.

Is work,eat, hobbies, love, and sleep... Life ?

Is this all there is to life ?

Read Ecclesiastes. All of it. 10 times.

[Aglifter]

Love God, love yourself, love others, (Its love your neighbor, as yourself, not more than) and rejoice in your blessings.

At a certain age/points in life, I think people, intensely, feel a longing for family.

Barring that, can you be proud of what you did that day - its doesn't have to be something great, but, did you, in some way, contribute on the side of good against the side of evil. A simple act of doing a simple job well, and not being slack in your actions, helps.

So does being kind, and aware, etc.

[caspian38]

No need for concern we aren't suicidal ,or depressed.

I'm just on a zen kick and looking for answers.

She asked ,and I didn't have an answer.

Best Tee Shirt I ever saw said, "It doesn't get any better than this", on the front. On the back it said, "So you might as well get used to it."

Life is what you make it. I don't believe life is anything like the Brady Bunch. We go to work at something we probably don't like in order to do some of the things we do like.

That was my answer( it doesn't get any better than this), and that she should be happy in this moment. It didn't go over as well as I thought it would. Frankly a lot of zen sounds pretty lame when you try to explain it out loud and in person.

+one to happy wife happy life...Although the old adage "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink "comes to mind.

[StraightUp_OG]

My girl is not on the path. When she is in the moment and I recognize that I say "pretty cool huh?" and she looks at me funny. Then I laugh!

[benos]

I like this one:

Keep in mind the tailorbird

at home on a single branch.

-Han-shan

[Toolguy]

The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.

[MarkT]

Read Ecclesiastes. All of it. 10 times.

+1

[Nugget]

My favorite book.

Edited May 7, 2014 by Nugget

[Andreas]

Best Tee Shirt I ever saw said, "It doesn't get any better than this", on the front. On the back it said, "So you might as well get used to it."

Goes well with my general feeling that the secret to happiness is low expectations. Didn't get hit by a drunk driver on the way home from the range? So much win!

[pyrrhic3gun]

Self-awareness is man's curse.

What you make of life is all there is...and it's beautiful to have the chance.

I like this quote..."wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving"...Master Po in KungFu, Episode 17.

[caspian38]

My wife posed the question "is this all there is to life" after she got home from work.

Is work,eat, hobbies, love, and sleep... Life ?

Is this all there is to life ?

Read Ecclesiastes. All of it. 10 times.

Just finished reading it. I might never truly understand it , 10 times might be an optimistic.

Reading it as a non- Christian with no religious belief per say was interesting. I dismiss the bible as being a religious text ,and that was obviously ignorant of me. It's weird, I know I have read Ecclesiastes before when I was younger ,but it was just another book in the bible. Thanks for the direction, another +1 on reading it.

I like this one:

Keep in mind the tailorbird

at home on a single branch.

-Han-shan

I think my wife feels more like the lioness trapped at the zoo. ( I'm giving her a link to this thread tonight so I picked a noble animal). Being able to let go and be at home on ones branch is easier said than done, for most of us I think.

I didn't know what a tailorbird was and looked it up. After seeing their nests the quote seems even more insightful. They really are at home on a single branch.

http://search.yahoo.com/search?fr=ipad&p=tailorbird&pcarrier=&pmcc=000&pmnc=00d

Edited May 7, 2014 by caspian38

[caspian38]

Best Tee Shirt I ever saw said, "It doesn't get any better than this", on the front. On the back it said, "So you might as well get used to it."

Goes well with my general feeling that the secret to happiness is low expectations. Didn't get hit by a drunk driver on the way home from the range? So much win!

" Hey honey the key to happiness is having low expectations". Wow ! I'm not joking ! I bet men have been trying to convince their wives of this since the cave man days. Be happy with "now " in the moment ...ect. "This is as good as it gets".

When I was 13 I had an epiphany. I was going through the normal teenage years and hating every moment. It got to the point I was depressed and didn't even want to get out of bed. While laying there I let my mind wander, and it came to me that I coud be happy or sad. Everything is meaningless ,so I have been happy ever sense . I do get mad, frustrated, whatever, but in the end I remember I can see anything as happy or sad , good or bad , it's all perception and I have a choice as to how I experience life.

Now sharing that simple truth has alway eluded me. It seems like you either see it or you don't. I choose happy.

" This is as good as it gets ", "This is all there is to life ", " low expectations " , "at home on a single branch" every one a pearl of wisdom ,or curse.

"no expectations"

Edited May 8, 2014 by caspian38

[Neomet]

I've spent the better part of my life searching for that concept that will lead to a peaceful, happy life. The absolute pivotal moment was when I really got the first line of the Dhammapada:

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world."

The fact that we have absolute control of our feelings, our emotions, our stories about all that goes on around us in the world is not only an immutable truth and applicable to every single facet of our existence but is an exhilaratingly liberating thought. We are in control, not just foam on the water subject to move whichever way the waves may go. How we feel about everything can be a deliberate choice and that choice can always be to be happy, or at a minimum not upset.

The downside of course is that we are unused to exercising this ability to choose and will frequently find exceptions which we feel should allow us to default to our old helpless version. It is a muscle that we have not exercised. It does take practice and diligence but then again nobody ever said that because an answer was simple that it was also easy.

[SiG Lady]

"Attitudes are chosen. You can choose the one you want.” –Debra A. Benton, Author

And everyone should do (or at least try to do) a little (or a lot of) community volunteer work. It's a fabulous exercise in free will. No one is paying you and no one can take the experience away from you or blame you for not doing enough. It's a totally giving act of the soul. It also helps develop awareness and maturity.

Life is a totally creative act. Life is, truly, what we make it. Totally.

[Agney5]

I'm a young guy, but in that short time life has not been easy. I'll try not to drag on here, we'll see how that goes.

Most of my early years of life were actually pretty normal and I never went without. However about the time I turned ten I dealt with my first traumatic death. I had a first cousin who was born with a hole in her heart and a list of other problems a mile long. One night we get a phone call to go to the hospital that Courtney was having some problems, when we arrived we found out she had passed in her sleep at the age of three. We all have to deal with death at some point in our lives but rarely do you witness a three year old pass and it was rather destructive on my family. But with time the wounds healed and things were finally getting back to normal.

Now I show up from school and wait for my parents to get home and when my dad shows up he explains that my mother is sick and would be in the hospital for a couple days. No big deal she'll be fine, after two weeks we start prying on what is actually wrong. My mother was admitted to a psyc ward from a mental break. As troubling news as this was the cause is what really had the most dramatic effect. My mother from the time she was 10 till 18 was molested by her father. My grandfather who up until that moment I was at there house at least once a week. No one knew including my father till her break down, well the bad news hadn't stopped yet shortly after my father lost his job. In a short couple of months I went from a normal childhood to this and bankruptcy shortly thereafter. For the next four years my mother was in and out if hospitals sometimes checking herself out and disappearing for months at a time. She suffered from bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and extreme depression. So in that time I had a lot of growing up to do since I had to younger sisters to take care of while dad was looking for a job. Eventually dad found a job, mom was released from the hospital and things were looking up. My parents did end up getting a divorce but both are remarried now. I told that long winded story for this, the one thing that really kept me going was the realization I still didn't have it that bad. I knew somewhere in the world there were people still worse off than myself. I had plenty to complain about, but it served no purpose. What it did do was mature me quicker than most of my peers, I graduated high school and went and joined the Marines. But two months before leaving I started dating my now wife. That was not part of the plan, but I'm glad it worked out.

I excelled while in the Marines and was promoted quickly and received much praise from my superiors.

This is when life was flipped again, I had made a very close friend who really made an impact on me. We lived together for a year before he was promoted and had to move, he had recently stated dating a girl and had fallen head over heals. He was not an emotional guy very reserved in that manner so this was a big deal. Well one night he left his new room to talk to his girlfriend and on his way up another Marine snuck up behind him and bludgeoned him to death. This guy was drunk and on several forms if drugs and decided he wanted to kill someone. So my life that was going perfect has come crumbling down around me again. So after dealing with the funeral, testifying for the trial and watching his family fall apart I swore I would never take anything for granted again.

This past November was 4 years since Josh past and I have done my best to make the best if those years. I well never take for granted those calm "boring" times again because in those times there are plenty if little moments that make life awesome. You just have to open your eyes and appreciate them, because some people can't anymore.

Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk

[caspian38]

My wife woke me up at 4am this morning saying I should thank you (Agney5) for her ,she enjoyed reading your post and insight. As did I.

...lots of good posts so far in the thread.

She hasn't shared her thoughts with me on the thread..If I have learned anything from being married it is the more I push ,the more resistant she becomes. I'm letting her mull.

Edited May 15, 2014 by caspian38