EricW Posted November 4, 2001 Share Posted November 4, 2001 If there is one thing that has absolutely wrecked shooting, it is the scourge of the Armchair Commando. You know, the ones who know everything but are able to do nothing. I just can't stand it anymore. I'm sick sick sick of them. They're ruining something I've loved to do since I was a little kid. I've tried changing my environment, but they're nearly inescapable. Every time I go somewhere just to look at a new gun or buy a pound of powder, I have to endure some ignorant blowhard's line of BS. The shooting range by my house is absolutely infested with them. They're one of the prime reasons why the shooting sports are in decline: they drive everyone off. People are just burnt out on this personality type. I don't think Liberals hate guns half as much as they hate these idiots - who have become the self-appointed ambassadors of the shooting sports. This is an open letter to all the jerk-offs who have driven good people away from shooting by just being themselves. This is not directed toward ANYONE on this forum. ----------------------------------------- Dear Armchair Commando, If you could break away from building that shrine to John Moses Browning, I would like to ask you a few questions. 1. Why in the hell do you care what gun/caliber I shoot? If it's not for you - fine, but why must you ALWAYS bitch about it? What possible stake do you have in my choices? Am I your personal bodyguard? Did it ever occur to you that my needs and priorities might differ from yours? I doubt it, but that doesn't stop you from droning on ad nauseum, spewing forth your worthless "knowledge" about how my gun/caliber is inaccurate, ineffective, or regurgitating whatever straw man argument you read in Guns and Ammo last month. GIVE IT A REST!!! I'd be scared shitless to a have a Rob Leatham come after me with a .25 Auto, but I'm not sure I'd bother running if I saw you with a GE minigun. (I've seen you shoot. You're pathetic - even off a benchrest.) 2. Do you own any other clothing color other than camouflage? What gives? Is "The Enemy" in town for the weekend? Are you in the witness protection program? The GI Joe look was out by 1983. Get with the program. If you think you're reducing your visibility, think again. You could be wearing a Ghillie suit and I could still spot your fat ass 500 yards away. By the way, the KaBar hanging off the web gear makes you look even dumber. 3. What is up with your fascination about killing people? It's "kill...kill...kill," morning, noon, and night. Get help!!! It is NOT healthy. Can't you just enjoy shooting as a contest of skill once in a while? 4. What is with your obsession over trade rag "ballistics?" It's always the same tired crap: "....Stopping Power....Knockdown Power....Firepower...Terminal Ballistics....Blah blah blah...." How many goddamn times can you read the same article and have the same conversation? Hey, Stupid!!! It's all BULLSHIT!!!! It's all about ability. I don't care what the marketing people say; one can't buy talent. Quit trading the cow for magic bullets, accept reality and get over it. 5. Let's talk literacy. You're not doing the shooting sports any intellectual favors any time you write an article or make a post with the world's most atrocious spelling and grammar. (God forbid I should err here...) Get a dictionary - then OPEN it. Learn the difference between "their" and "they're" for crying out loud. You're just one more reason the media regards all gun owners as twits. 6. Why do you treat everyone of a non-white race or different nationality like total shit whenever they come to the range? Good God, man!! They don't want to steal your job or your barbecue; they just want to live the American dream. After living, oppressed, in some backward, F'ed up banana republic, newcomers want to be secure in their persons and homes. That equals gun ownership!! Immigrants and minorities aren't our enemies - they're our allies. Get over your prejudices. Welcome them! Finally, I would just like to make one suggestion: If you can't seem to find a way to participate in the shooting sports in a positive, constructive and inclusive manner, why not just get hell out and leave the rest of us alone? I know that we need to show solidarity right now, but frankly, I'm willing to give the gun-rights trip a go without you. Let me know if you're interested & I'll pass the hat and we'll do a little gun-buyback program of our own. Disgruntledly Yours, Eric (Whew!! Do I feel better now!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigDave Posted November 4, 2001 Share Posted November 4, 2001 man, I like your style!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nik Habicht Posted November 4, 2001 Share Posted November 4, 2001 Eric, Nice Rant!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avalanche Posted November 5, 2001 Share Posted November 5, 2001 Post this in the truthful humor section !!! Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38supPat Posted November 5, 2001 Share Posted November 5, 2001 Pretty much sums up my feelings too. Unfortuntly every gun club and oranization is infested with these twits. Up here in Canada we had a pro-gun rally in Ottawa a few years back, I refused to go unless they had a dress code...(and don'y give me that crap about having the right to wear whatever you want, appearance is everything)..they didn't, I didn't, and guess which guys ended up on TV?..yup the dorks wearing camoflage baseball caps, unshaven in weeks, with their "kill a commie for mommie' t-shirts....guess we lost that one. Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Ankeny Posted November 5, 2001 Share Posted November 5, 2001 WOW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shred Posted November 5, 2001 Share Posted November 5, 2001 Yeah, the BS-factor is huge. Gun Shows seem to be these guys breeding grounds. At least it's easy to get rid of them at the one indoor range I get stuck in-- shoot a couple little groups and they flee to (I assume) cover themselves in 45 ACP and repeat "They all fall to hardball.. They all fall to hardball.." over and over until the scary shooter has gone away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38supPat Posted November 5, 2001 Share Posted November 5, 2001 Yup, they just never realize that you actually have to be able to hit before 'they all fall to hardball', just whizzing big bullets past the targets don't count...lol Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cpty1 Posted November 5, 2001 Share Posted November 5, 2001 Come on Eric, don't hold back. Tell us how you really feel. Nicely put. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benos Posted November 6, 2001 Share Posted November 6, 2001 Nicely put Eric! be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricW Posted November 6, 2001 Author Share Posted November 6, 2001 Thanks for the moral support. This is just the best site ever!! I really do feel SO much better after posting that. Thanks for the Hate forum, Brian! Your contribution to our collective sanity will not go unnoted. Eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lumpy Posted November 6, 2001 Share Posted November 6, 2001 I've seen the type... They are normally the guys drinking coffee and reading 20 year old gun rags... The best is how the rifle guys here in Canada treat handgun folk like pond scum, because "we are" causing all the gun law problems. Well when they take my handguns away, they are coming after your rifles next. Sad part is most handgunners own more rifles than pistols. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Nobles Posted November 9, 2001 Share Posted November 9, 2001 I Feel Your Pain! Thay Make Me Sick To! Targic proof of a missing "WHY?" chromosome. BAN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Sweeney Posted November 9, 2001 Share Posted November 9, 2001 Best one I've seen: My brother and I were at a week-long and LE-only training class, On thursday we're sitting in the hotel lobby waiting to head out to the range when one of the other students comes by. He's scheduled for the rifle/carbine track that day, and he's decked out. Full camoflage from head to ankle, but every garment is a different pattern. Some of it so new you can see the folding creases and smell the plastic from the bag it was in. We recognized him from the handgun track, where we had to take turns standing directly behind him to keep the muzzle uprange. Our instructions were simple: every time the muzzle comes past 45 degrees, push his forearm forward to keep the muzzle pointed at the target. We did that all day long. Slung over his shoulder this morning is a brand-new HK-93, lacking even brass marks on the ejection opening. As he walks by with his spit-shined boots, my brother leans over to me and whispers "Today, I am a man." I almost blew coffee out my nose from laughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38supPat Posted November 9, 2001 Share Posted November 9, 2001 At the club I used to belong to, the AC's thought the 14" Rem. 870's were the cats ass. They were 'entry guns', hence 'cool'. So every one of the AC's went out and bought one to use in IPSC shotgun (we have a five round rule here as thats all the Gov't allows us to have in our semi-auto shotguns, so the pumps play with five too. So the short mag tubes are not a prob.) These yo-yo's though they were great, running around dressed in various camo patterns, carrying their shorty shotguns. 'Til Terry O'Hara showed up. Terry set up courses of fire where you had to engage poppers past 20 yds, and had 8" plates with no-shoot plates beside them, requiring the shooter to hold off center to get the hit on the falling plate without touching the no-shoot. Go figure that the pattern of these short guns was sufficiently large enough to manage to whack the no-shoots, and lack enough density to knock down a popper at 20 yds. So the AC's told terry that it wasn't "practical" and discouraged him from setting up stages anymore....lol These are the same dolts that set up rifle stages that were so easy that my shooting buddy and I used to beat them with our Open raceguns (old open pistol major easily makes rifle minor)...I do love to p*** people off. Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Norris Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 [rant/on]Had a run in with one of these today at a gunshow(go figure). Idiot was working in a vendors booth dresses in a skull and cross bones T-shirt, head shaved except for the top and a ponytail. Little brother dryfired an HK a couple of times. Idiot said "Hey little dude stop clicking it" . I simply asked why you couldn't dryfire HKs. I was given a 5 minute lecture on respect, ending with a comment on how we oughta give a $600 gun more respect(yeah, I paid twice that for my last one and "clicked" it at least 500 times the first day I had it). At which point I said for $600 I oughta be able to dryfire it a coupla times. Apperntly, this was not what Mr. Crossbones wanted to hear. Exact quote was "If I get any more shit from you I'll have you escorted out of this show". I simply told him they had lost any future business and left, later complaining to the promoter. What the hell drives these dumbasses to this? Does he really think dryfiring a gun is somehow disrespectful. I also was asking about dryfiring for a reason, I'm not real familiar with HKs. Guess when I exposed his lack of knowledge he got scared. Seeing as how he didn't even know the proper term for dryfiring I seriously doubt he practices it. The word respect was used on at least 10 different occasions. What, can you not get any? Think you have to pick on little kids to make yourself a man? Told me he "beat the hell out of my own guns". Gee, guess that means you "click" it twice a month? I don't need to be lectured on respect for guns, I probably have more than you ever will. If I wanted to trash the gun there are much better ways. Now, please go back to your little hole and put the tinfoil hat back on, and repeat after me "they all fall to hardball, they all...." [rant/off]I feel MUCH better now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bird Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 Hey Kyle I have a whole bunch of HK's. The firing pin will break after you dry fire it--click,click--about 250,000 times.. At least on the USP. I have seen these modern-urban-camo-rambo-know it all-seen it all-done it all-wanna-be's at the local steel shoot. It is kindof funny to watch them use 50 rounds to knock down 7 pieces of AHWSC steel...hehe.. They never seem to come back and when I see them again (at a gunshow or at a local gunshop) they seem to have a different attitude.. Go figure..hehe A fool only fools himself....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38supPat Posted November 12, 2001 Share Posted November 12, 2001 Then there was the guy that thought it would be cool to shoot a .50 Desert Eagle in IPSC. Got a bunch of mags, had new sights and a trigger job added. Cost him a fortune in ammo each stage.....lmao Pat Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duane Thomas Posted November 14, 2001 Share Posted November 14, 2001 About four or five years ago I'm out at Mas Ayoob's LFI-2 course. There's this 50-year old guy out there in full camouflage, big ol' belly hanging over his belt. He's firing a 4" Smith Model 64, which is actually a seriously neat gun in my opinion. So we start talking and he tells me how his job is that people who are interested in "survival" will come to him, and he'll evaluate their needs and recommend to them the guns they need. "Oh, you're a survivalist," I say. "I'm the GURU to survivalists," he replies. Oooookay. So we get to the final qualification course. In LFI-2 the qual is the same as for LFI-1 only the time limits are half as long. And for some unspeakable reason - because the guy has, God help me, read some of my articles and recognizes me - it's a big deal to him to outshoot me on the qual. He tells me, "I'm gonna beat you." Well, okay, if you can do it, more power to ya, dude. So I shoot first. I make it almost all the way through the sucker with a perfect score right up until we get to the final string, which is six shots into an IPSC target at 25 yards, reload, six more shots, reload, six more, in 45 seconds. No prob, right. The catch is you have to fire from all three of the common shooting stances, Isosceles, Chapman, and double bent arm Weaver. Pause for mini-rant: why on Earth FORCE people to shoot from less efficient stances when they're already grooved-in on techniques that work so much better? Rant mode off. To make a long story short, using those wonderful Chapman and Weaver techniques, instead of the Modern Isosceles with which I've fired the rest of the course, I pull three shots out into the C-zone. That gives me a score of 297 out of a possible 300 on the qual. I say to the Mel Tappin wannabe, "Well, here's your chance, guy." So he starts the course. And he's doing pretty good. Give the guy credit, he knows how to work a revolver decently. He pulls a few Cs early on but he doesn't freak, he stays in the game. On the final six-reload-six-reload-six I'm watching his target and, when all is said and done, he's still only got the two shots outside the A-zone. I say to him, "All right! Good job, that looks like 298 to me." And I just don't get it. The guy shakes his head sadly, I mean his lower lip is literally sticking out, he looks about five years old and ready to cry, like someone just stole his teddy. "What?" I ask. And he opens up the cylinder and shows me the four live rounds still left in the chambers. He ran out of time. "Um....that looks like 294 to me." I actually felt sorry for the guy. (Edited by Duane Thomas at 5:09 pm on Nov. 14, 2001) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benos Posted November 15, 2001 Share Posted November 15, 2001 Patrick, Pat, Kyle, and Duane - Those are some great stories! be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BSeevers Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 2. Do you own any other clothing color other than camouflage? What gives? Is "The Enemy" in town for the weekend? Are you in the witness protection program? The GI Joe look was out by 1983. Actually I think The Village People are still touring? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted April 8, 2004 Share Posted April 8, 2004 Y M C A..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 Man, you guys are really mean. We, the Armchair Commandos, need love too. Heck, I'm one of the elite ... I'm a Chairborne Ranger! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 Captain Chairborne...!!! That has a rather nice ring to it...! Yeh, I like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KentG Posted April 9, 2004 Share Posted April 9, 2004 Would these be the same guys I see at the gunshop and shows eating donuts and drinking coffee that go thru less than a couple hundred rounds combined all year? The same guys who can tell at a glance what gun a guy in a movie is using but cant tell you the diff between a tactical reload and reload with retention? I may not soar with the eagles but maybe someday,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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