Wisdom from the Military

[pmd]

WISDOM FROM THE MILITARY

'If the enemy is in range, so are you.'

-Infantry Journal-

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'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.'

-US.Air Force Manual -

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'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.'

- General MacArthur -

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'You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.'

-Infantry Sgt.-

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'Tracers work both ways.'

-Army Ordnance Manual-

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'Five second fuses last about three seconds.'

-Infantry Journal -

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The three most useless things in aviation are:Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you.

-Basic Flight Training Manual-

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'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.'

- Naval Ops Manual -

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'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.'

-Unknown Infantry Recruit-

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'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up to him.'

-Infantry Journal-

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'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil... For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.'

- Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-

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'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.'

- Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-

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'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.'

-Unknown Author-

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'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'

-Fixed Wing Pilot-

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'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane,you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.'

-Multi-Engine Training Manual-

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'Without ammunition, the Air Force is just an expensive flying club.'

-Unknown Author-

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'If you hear me yell;"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.'

If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.'

-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot-

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'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?

If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'

-Sign over Control Tower Door-

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'Never trade luck for skill.'

-Author Unknown-

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The three most common expressions (or famous last words)in military aviation are:'Did you feel that? ''What's that noise?'and'Oh S...!'

-Authors Unknown-

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'Airspeed, altitude and brains.Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.'

-Basic Flight Training Manual-

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'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.'

-Emergency Checklist-

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'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world;it can just barely kill you.'

-Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)-

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'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'

-Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB,AZ-

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'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.'- Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -

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[bikerburgess]

thank you I needed a good laugh

[benos]

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

:roflol:

[SLM]

'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.'

-Fixed Wing Pilot-

How does a helicopter fly? It beats the air into submission.

-Another Fixed Wing Pilot-

[Sarge]

Not in a manual or anything but when I was a Platoon Sergeant, before a deployment I asked my First Sergeant for a packing list. He said, "we'll figure that out when we get there". I think I invented the AFLAC duck jaw drop that day!

[Bigpops]

Three scariest sayings in Naval Aviation;

1. Ensign – “Due to my vast experience”

2. LCDR – “I have come to a conclusion”

3. Pilot - “Watch this $hit”

[G-ManBart]

How'd they leave off:

Friendly Fire, rarely is....

[G-ManBart]

How does a helicopter fly? It beats the air into submission.

-Another Fixed Wing Pilot-

Yet another:

Helicopters only fly because Mother Earth rejects them.

[LPatterson]

Murphy's Laws Of Combat Operations

Friendly fire - isn't.

Recoilless rifles - aren't.

Suppressive fires - won't.

You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note.

A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

If at first you don't succeed, call in an airstrike.

If you are forward of your position, your artillery will fall short.

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.

The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready. & when you're not.

No OPLAN ever survives initial contact.

There is no such thing as a perfect plan.

Five second fuzes always burn three seconds.

There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.

A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.

The important things are always simple; the simple are always hard.

The easy way is always mined.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not at all uncommon for aircraft carriers to be known as bomb magnets.

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.

If the enemy is within range, so are you.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

Things that must work together, can't be carried to the field that way.

Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support.

Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.

Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.

Tracers work both ways.

If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives to take.

When both sides are convinced they're about to lose, they're both right.

Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

Military Intelligence is a contradiction.

Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.

Weather ain't neutral.

If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.

Air defense motto: shoot 'em down; sort 'em out on the ground.

'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go.

The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.

Napalm is an area support weapon.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon.

Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.

Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.

The one item you need is always in short supply.

Interchangeable parts aren't.

It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.

When in doubt, empty your magazine.

The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

If two things are required to make something work, they will never be shipped together.

Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.

Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

You'll only remember your hand grenades when the sound is too close to use them.

Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

So he said, "Cheer up: it could be worse!" So we cheered up. And it got worse.

Well .. It could be worse: It could be raining .. and we could be out in it.

The spare batteries for the PRC-whatever your troops have been carrying are either nearly dead or for the wrong radio.

The ping you heard was the antenna snapping off at 6 inches above the flexmount, while a fire mission was being called in on a battalion of hostiles who know your position.

Why is it the CO sticks his head in your radio hooch to see if anything has come down from DIV when you are listening to the VOA broadcasting the baseball games?

How come you are on one frequency when everyone else is on another?

Why does your 500-watt VRC-26 (real old) not make it across 200 miles while a ham with 50 watts on the same MARS frequency can be heard from Stateside?

Know why short RTOs have long whips on their radios? So someone can find them when they step in deep water.

The enemy "Alway's" times his attack, to the second you drop your pant's in the Latrine!!

The ammo you need "NOW"!! is on the "Next" airdrop!!

[Ed Deegan]

Gotta add a couple

Beer Math, 2 beers a piece times 12 guys = 22 cases.

Steel beach day with a captain that doesnt drink = you are still stuck on that damn grey boat.

incoming fire (any) always has the right of way.

The 2 most dangerous things; a 2nd Lt. with a map and compass, and a pfc with a badge.

Getting off early because of the Marine Corps ball, and spending 4 hours consuming MASSIVE amounts of adult beverages, then going to the ball, where the guest of honor is some general whose wife is named "bunny" and starting to snicker will make a) the rest of the drunks at your table start laughing and actually earn some really dirty looks.

[sfchorn]

From an Army Helicopter Pilot:

"Never run out of airspeed, altitude, and collective, all at the same time."

[abn-rgr]

Here are some more serious ones. Most are still relevant:

These are the standing orders issued by Major Robert Rogers to his Rangers in 1759.

1. Don't forget nothing.

2. Have your musket clean as a whistle, hatchet scoured, sixty rounds powder and ball, and be ready to march at a minute's warning.

3. When you're on the march, act the way you would if you was sneaking up on a deer. See the enemy first.

4. Tell the truth about what you see and what you do. There is an army depending on us for correct information. You can lie all you please when you tell other folks about the Rangers, but don't never lie to a Ranger or officer.

5. Don't never take a chance you don't have to.

6. When we're on the march we march single file, far enough apart so one shot can't go through two men.

7. If we strike swamps, or soft ground, we spread out abreast, so it's hard to track us.

8. When we march, we keep moving till dark, so as to give the enemy the least possible chance at us.

9. When we camp, half the party stays awake while the other half sleeps.

10. If we take prisoners, we keep 'em separate till we have had time to examine them, so they can't cook up a story between 'em.

11. Don't ever march home the same way. Take a different route so you won't be ambushed.

12. No matter whether we travel in big parties or little ones, each party has to keep a scout twenty yards ahead, twenty yards on each flank and twenty yards in the rear, so the main body can't be surprised and wiped out.

13. Every night you'll be told where to meet if surrounded by a superior force.

14. Don't sit down to eat without posting sentries.

15. Don't sleep beyond dawn. Dawn's when the French and indians attack.

16. Don't cross a river by a regular ford.

17. If somebody's trailing you, make a circle, come back onto your own tracks, and ambush the folks that aim to ambush you.

18. Don't stand up when the enemy's coming against you. Kneel down, lie down, hide behind a tree.

19. Let the enemy come till he's almost close enough to touch. Then let him have it and jump out and finish him with your hatchet.

[tt350z]

WISDOM FROM THE MILITARY

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'If you hear me yell;"Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echos.'

If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because by then you'll be the pilot.'

-Pre-flight Briefing from a Canadian F104 Pilot-

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I can relate to that

"If you hear Eject, Eject, Eject, just pull the handle. But you probably wont pull it because I would've pulled it already."

Capt. Townsend, USAF Eagle driver before my flight

Edited May 12, 2010 by tt350z

[babymathew]

To be in the defence is a matter of proud and i really respect those people who serves their nation. You looks great in the uniform and your personality is too good and your body structure is strong enough to defeat enemy.

[Paul Santiago]

You guys are tough on us rotary people so here are some I've heard...

Pilot leaving the crewroom to go to the toilet says, "I'm just going to give birth to a crewchief".

Crewchief sitting in the crewroom yells after him, "Don't forget to wipe your pilot".

"If you are in trouble anywhere in the world, an airplane can fly over and drop flowers, but a helicopter can land and save your life"

"Watch thy tail rotor, lest the earth rise and smite thee".

[TimMTP]

Here's another from an old broke Black Hawk driver:

There are old pilots and bold pilots, but no old bold pilots...

[latewatch]

My personal favorite...

The only time you can have too much ammo is when your swimming

[Gun Law 1]

The best defense is a strong OFFENSE!

Field Marshall Erwin J. E. Rommel

[ranger]

"100 lbs of high speed "stuff" is still 100 lbs." Light Infantry Words of Wisdom from the 7th ID Manchus of 1984. Still true today - maybe even more true in this time of body armor and SAPI plates.

[ClutchUSMC]

"Everything you do can get you killed....including doing nothing"

- unkown

"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet"

- General James "Chaos" Mattis, USMC

"When you die, we're splitting up your gear"

- My best friend Steve to a boot on his first day in the team

[ShooterSteve]

"There are more Navy divers looking for pilots, than there are pilots looking for Navy divers" Go EOD-It's a blast. I am paying for things as I get older, but by gosh I had a good time!!

[Anubis]

Hehe I have one of those in my signature line

11 years working on helicopters and I've yet to fly in one...

[gohuskers]

This thread is just plain brilliant.

[glocklover]

There's only two things that fall from the sky. Bird shit and fools.

[Jim Rusert]

Love this thread. Thanks for posting.

God bless all of you who served.