dsb45acp Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 I hate my life because: I'm broke I can't trust my wife any more I'm heading for a divorce which really sucks because I still love her I don't have the time or money to shoot I've sold off almost all my shooting stuff, I have one pistol left I've lost the desire and ability to find pleasure in almost everything I can't find ANYTHING positive about myself or my situation I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel (and if I could it would probably be the Sure Fire on somebody's 870) I'm tired of being lied to I'm tired of being the paycheck, nanny and house boy I can't seem to find a way out of this I am scared to death that I'll lose my children I am tired of being told I'm a POS This has been going on for almost a year now and I feel like a loser and wimp because I'm at the end of my rope Y'all are some of the nicest people I know, please pray for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Abrahams Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 I hope things really turn around for you, hang in there man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSEMARTIN Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 PM sent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
el pres Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 PM Sent !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aristotle Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 It always gets greater later bud. Hang in there, this wave will pass and leave you a stronger man for it. Prayers headed your way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasmap Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 I hate my life because:I'm broke I can't trust my wife any more I'm heading for a divorce which really sucks because I still love her I don't have the time or money to shoot I've sold off almost all my shooting stuff, I have one pistol left I've lost the desire and ability to find pleasure in almost everything I can't find ANYTHING positive about myself or my situation I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel (and if I could it would probably be the Sure Fire on somebody's 870) I'm tired of being lied to I'm tired of being the paycheck, nanny and house boy I can't seem to find a way out of this I am scared to death that I'll lose my children I am tired of being told I'm a POS This has been going on for almost a year now and I feel like a loser and wimp because I'm at the end of my rope Y'all are some of the nicest people I know, please pray for me My prayers will be sent for you. Remember, God said that he will never put us through anything that we can't handle. This may test you and push you to your limits but it can't break you if you have faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3quartertime Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 I'll add another hang in there! The hardest part is separating yourself from it all. Once you can get to a place that is far enough away from all the BS things will almost immediately start looking up. My kids were 4 and 6 when it happened to me and I was scared to death it was going to be too much for them. I couldn't believe how fast they adapted! Seriously the thing that took the longest was me deciding to end that part and start over. Look at your friends and decide which ones are really good friends and start spending more time with them. Take their advise and when they tell you they notice something believe them. They will see behavior in you much faster than you will. Start dating as soon as you can. Normal single people date and mingle with each other. Normal is what your not gonna feel like for a while, but it's what you gotta get back to! Don't tell your story to everyone you meet. I know you posted it here, but none of us really know you. Sympathy is good at first but you get tired of telling everyone your ok... Being single isn't that bad. There are tons of great chicks out there to meet!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry White Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 (edited) Tough deal. Out of all you just said, the fact you still love her is the least important. What really counts are the kids and you. Sitting in the road waiting for that truck to run over you sucks, you need to be driveing the truck. Take those kids right now, file the papers and put her butt on the curb. Quit worring about stuff, you can always get more stuff, right now stuff just clutters up the room. You can only be as miserable as you choose to be. We can and will pray for you, but you are the one that has to fix this. Get up and start walking down that tunnel, the light is down there, go find it.----------Larry Edited July 25, 2009 by Larry White Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boz1911 Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 I went through a very similar situation about 11 years ago. About all I can say is it will get better. Draw strength from your inner self and keep your friends and family as close as you can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsb45acp Posted July 25, 2009 Author Share Posted July 25, 2009 Thanks for the encouragement and prayers guys. 3quatertime, you hit it on the head; I'm so worried about my kids that I really don't give a crap about much else including myself right now. I know there are lots of "children of divorce" out there, I just didn't wnat mine to be in the number. Thats where Larry picked up, and he's right too; I've had no control over my life for so long I think I've forgetten what it's like and how to be in control. That needs to start today. How sad is it when my friends are people I've never met? Seriously, I don't really have any friends anymore and thats why I turned to y'all. As usual, BE'ers havent let me down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JThompson Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 (edited) The kids will do better without the constant tension and bickering that happens in this type of deal. It does them less harm to go through a divorce that it does watching mom and dad go at each other day after day. Even if most of the animosity is coming from one direction. It's not a healthy place for them or for you. From the sound of that post I would get in touch with a professional, I don't want to read about something bad happening to you. JT http://wisdom4u.files.wordpress.com/2008/0...in-the-sand.jpg Edited July 25, 2009 by JThompson Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Gaines Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 hang in there. I think we all have been down a similiar road. When you are at rock bottom, things can only get better from there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JRW Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 +1 on finding someone to talk to...professional, pastor, etc. Focus on keeping your thoughts positive and look for the good. Sounds like your children will be that for you. I would also suggest getting a copy of "Who moved my cheese." It is a short little book, but has been meaningful to many people in my life. Thoughts and prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
larry cazes Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Thanks for the encouragement and prayers guys. 3quatertime, you hit it on the head; I'm so worried about my kids that I really don't give a crap about much else including myself right now. I know there are lots of "children of divorce" out there, I just didn't wnat mine to be in the number. Thats where Larry picked up, and he's right too; I've had no control over my life for so long I think I've forgetten what it's like and how to be in control. That needs to start today. How sad is it when my friends are people I've never met? Seriously, I don't really have any friends anymore and thats why I turned to y'all. As usual, BE'ers havent let me down. I help folks though this for a living so I have some perspective on it. The kids WILL be affected some by a divorce. No way around that. What determines how much is how you and your wife handle it. If you are both mindful of this and work to keep the kids out of it, the effect on them will be minimized. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pezco Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Focus on the kids they will need you now more than ever. Don't do anything rash and realize we are all praying for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lugnut Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 I'm sure you have a lot more prayers than the posts here! There are lot of great, helpful and kind people in this world... it's just sometimes the ugly ones seem to be more prevalent. Hang in there, stay focused on the important things, and you will come out a stronger better person. No matter what happens with your kids- if you are a good person- they will know it and love you... no matter where you or they are. I wish you the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nik Habicht Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 I'm so worried about my kids that I really don't give a crap about much else including myself right now. I know there are lots of "children of divorce" out there, I just didn't wnat mine to be in the number. Sounds like that train's left the station --- so time to make them the most well-adjusted children of divorce there are. Having watched a friend do just that, it only worked because he and the kids mom were able to remain friends who remember that they once cared about each other a great deal, and who continue to care about those kids..... Take Care of yourself --- it's first, because that's the only way you can take care of anyone else. Take care of your kids. Make a plan to leave and execute that plan. Because you have kids, be as nice to your ex as possible -- that'll be impossible some days, but should still be part of your goal, because you'll be connected to her for the rest of your/your children's lives.... When it gets tough --- hug your kids, or pull out a photo and remind yourself why you're doing this. (In other words, remind yourself what the truth is....) Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 PM sent........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gameplayer Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 Take Care of yourself --- it's first, because that's the only way you can take care of anyone else. Excellent advice. Ask me how I know. Good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkrispies Posted July 25, 2009 Share Posted July 25, 2009 There's an analogy that goes something like this... You're on an airplane with your child, and something goes wrong-- the oxygen masks drop, and your child can't get to his. What do you do? Answer: you put your oxygen mask on first. Why? Because you have to save yourself before you can save anyone else. I'm not going to pretend that "I know what you're going through" because I don't, but if I may offer three pieces of advice: 1. Be strong for your kids without putting on an act. It's okay for them to know that you're hurting, but don't make your pain theirs. 2. If it's over, it's over. Walk away. Again, this is for the kids as much as you-- they don't need to be put through the confusion of "Are they, or aren't they" on a rotating basis, and you don't need to live that way. The past is done, and the future beckons. 3. Do something!!! Get out and walk around the park. Chop down a tree. Go to the gym and work out. If you've still got your one rig for your one pistol, go shoot some matches. Sitting around leads to brooding, and brooding leads to anger, and anger takes up more energy than just about anything in this world. I don't care what you do, just get out and do something! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davecutts Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 If you want to know how I feel send me a PM, cuze I can't say my peace in your hate thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsb45acp Posted July 26, 2009 Author Share Posted July 26, 2009 After reading some of the PM's, maybe I don't have it as bad as other folks, and I will remember those people in my prayers. Niether i nor my children have heard from my wife in 48 hours now. I just don't understand and I hate not knowing. Thanks again everybody. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quade Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 +1 on larry whites comments. i know time seems to be in slow motion right now. try volunteering in the community or a church. it will do wonders. meeting people, occupying time. seeing many many other things that can only be experienced through your eyes. life and worthiness is not about what you own. we all wish you the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
racerba Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 I won't pretend to know what you are going through, but remember, no matter how hard or how bad situaiton gets, it could always be worse. The bright side of your situation is that you have a direction to go, be it not the direction you want to go, but a direction, none the less. Go to the range, talk to friends. Help and encouragement will come from the most unexpected person. Most of all, be there for your children when they need you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted July 26, 2009 Share Posted July 26, 2009 I have had the bad wife and life before. Dont give up on yourself...Things have a way of coming back around...and they will With time and new direction...a better life awaits Prayers sent jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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