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Common Courtesy


Gary Stevens

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Yesterday I am setting up equipment in the courthouse for a trial Monday. I have to make 4 trips from my car, and up the stairs, to get all this carried in. While I am trying to juggle stuff and open the doors about 5 of the future of Kentucky are standing around smoking, joking, and texting on their cell phone's. Not a single one offered to help with the door, even though most of them looked at me doing the dance of death with the door.

I still hold the door open for total strangers, male and female, old and young. I still say thank you and please. I still say Ma'am and sir even to drive up window teenagers. I give a wave of "thank you" to the few drivers who let me merge into traffic ahead of them. I guess that is the way I was taught by my parents and I am thankful that they did.

Gee I long for the "old days".

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My family did the college tour thing last year, looking for our son. Lots of schools, some big name, some not so big.

Lots of energy and fun at the big urban schools, but people, students and faculty alike, just walked right on by the visitors.

We went to a good but smaller school out in the Central Valley. Students polite, opened doors for us. We found out that they encourage that behavior - actually have a sort of etiquette class to prep the students for interacting with the big wide world.

We liked it. So did our son. He'll probably go there over some of the big southern california schools with lots of attitude.

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Common courtesy has suffered the same relative demise as common sense, personal responsibility, and American Nationalism/Patriotism.

RIP

JeffWard

Jeff, beat me to it by a few :) In an age where the government is expected to bail out everyone, there is no need for personal responsibility or accountability. In my opinion the advent of the internet, where everyone can be anonymous if they choose, has fostered a huge lack of accountability. Sad but true.

Edited by larry cazes
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I've been saying this for a long time. Unfortunately the morals of our society have been declining for a long time. Some people just don't have a manners.

My new favorite...my soon to be 7 year old has always referred to his elders as "sir" or "maam". We have had several people correct him, especially women, that tell him "stop, they makes me feel old". I just cringe.

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In the deep south we have a saying. Rude children are the product of they mama's not beatin that a$$ enough when they are little!!!!! :D :D

Now they do it and get sent to jail for abuse....My Grandfather didn't have to lay a hand on me....much, just gave me the look and I was done.

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Gary obviously you were raised that way as was I. Unfortunately today people don't have the upbringing we did. One of the major reasons this country is so screwed up is there is no honor in dealing with people anymore. They can say what they want to about the 50s and 60s but I will gladly go back to those times.

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My mom used to keep a wooden spoon on the counter at all times. If we said me and _ or yeah we got whacked. If we were out in public and did not say ma'am or sir, please thank you, we got the evil teacher look. And heaven help you if she got a call from school about misbehaving.

I was in court for a traffic ticket and was absolutely amazed and the young men and women walking around like they owned the place and all thugged out. I could not believe the attitude of the young people out there.

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In the deep south we have a saying. Rude children are the product of they mama's not beatin that a$$ enough when they are little!!!!! :D :D

Where I live, if a kid doesn't say "Sir" or "Ma'am", they usually get popped in the back of the head by Dad, or Mom, or whichever uncle or aunt is with them.

Edited by revchuck
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We've already had this discussion some time back ... sir ... yes, sir ... how high SIR?! (Navy brat -- Dad got the DD214 but never really left the Service ... sir.)

The lack of respect and, yes, common courtesy, is just amazing at times. When did "rude, disrespectful and sloppy" become not only "fashionable" but apparently without consequence?

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Not too long back I asked a couple of young adults (mid 20's) who were being loud, rude, and impolite in the library to hold it down...got the LOOK, the STARE, but they finally just got up and left...after they were gone 3 or 4 adults came over to me and thanked me for doing that...I just looked at them and asked why they didn't do it before I had to...

Noone wants to wear the black hat and be the bad guy, it seems, even when it is apparent to everyone around that they need correcting..beats me :huh:

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No thread about social courtesy is complete until tightloop and SiG Lady have posted.

I feel neither "old" nor "young" if someone calls me ma'am... I just feel DIGNIFIED. The speaker has DIGNIFIED me by using that pleasant little honorific. For cryin' out loud, even the inmates in the Jail address me as "ma'am", and if they do ME a favor I say "thank-you" and if they thank ME for something, I say "you're welcome." And I do that for my co-workers at the office and to strangers as well... including retail sales associates and anyone serving me in the public arena.

It's partly an animal thing, too: These little courtesies or moments of assistance let our fellow beings know that we're not a threat (usually). It reassures us and creates moments of warm/fuzzy in an otherwise uncertain and threatening world. Courtesy--it's well worth the investment.

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I have to add this little gem to my rant. I was in one of our District Courts a few months back. This is the court that handles non-felony cases. Mostly drunk issues, traffic issues, domestic issues, juvenile issues, etc. This particular judge is a great guy, but is more like most of us, than most of "them".

The typical docket is about 200 and takes all day and then some.

The first case called that day was a woman who was wearing a tube top and, shall we say a very short skirt.

The judge looked at her and in a semi-loud voice said "Young lady, those are not appropriate clothes for any court in the Commonwealth of Kentucky and definately not mine. You go and find you some clothes that are more suitable and come back. We will work you in at that time."

I watched the "lady" leave and come back in about an hour properly dressed. Her's was the very last case called that day. From first to last in one easy lesson. I believe she got out about 8 PM that night.

I would almost bet she learned at least one lesson about that particular court and judge that day.

Edited by Gary Stevens
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I have to add this little gem to my rant. I was in one of our District Courts a few months back. This is the court that handles non-felony cases. Mostly drunk issues, traffic issues, domestic issues, juvenile issues, etc. This particular judge is a great guy, but is more like most of us, than most of "them".

The typical docket is about 200 and takes all day and then some.

The first case called that day was a woman who was wearing a tube top and, shall we say a very short skirt.

The judge looked at her and in a semi-loud voice said "Young lady, those are not appropriate clothes for any court in the Commonwealth of Kentucky and definately not mine. You go and find you some clothes that are more suitable and come back. We will work you in at that time."

I watched the "lady" leave and come back in about an hour properly dressed. Her's was the very last case called that day. From first to last in one easy lesson. I believe she got out about 8 PM that night.

I would almost bet she learned at least one lesson about that particular court and judge that day.

We would hope so, but my guess is NOT...probably walked away muttering "...old geezer..." under her breath...

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In the deep south we have a saying. Rude children are the product of they mama's not beatin that a$$ enough when they are little!!!!! :D :D

That is exactly what I was thinking. My wife thinks that I am too strict with our two young boys, but I want them to grow up as good people and respect others. She feels that they are too young for that type of decipline but I feel that you are never too young to start.

It really grates on my nerves when I go through a drive-through or even when I go into a store and purchase something and the cashier just hands me my receipt and either stares at me with a blank look or walks away from me without saying anything. I usually say in a loud and clear voice "Your welcome!" as a reminder that they may have missed something, like I just spent my money in their business, helping to pay their salary.

Gary, thank you Sir for starting this and hopefully we all can prevent each other from beating some rude a$$ senseless.

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