What is it that you want to get out of a match? You have to identify THAT thing, whatever it is. For me, it's having fun. Sure, I want to win but if I'm not having fun then the win feels empty. If I'm having fun, it doesn't matter if I win. I also tend to win more often if I am having fun and less often if I'm not.
Know what you want to acheive and you will.
Gary