Flatland Shooter Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 It almost turned into a ritual at our house. She hides it, I have to find it. First a little background. Both daughters and both grandsons live about 350 miles away. Close enough to visit on a regular basis but not close enough to get many surprise visits. Since my wife deals better with young children (anyone under age 27, so that includes both daughters and both grandsons), she likes extended visits while I prefer a much shorter time frame. Not a problem. The wife stays and I come visit as time and temperament allows. The wife's been in Oklahoma since Thanksgiving. A little longer stay than usual, but still no problem. Every day she calls. "Are the dogs OK?" "Yes, dear." "Are the cats OK?" "Yes dear." "Are you keeping the house under control?" "Yes dear." "When was the last time you vacuumed?" "Yesterday dear." Today she called and advised she's driving home Monday. She knows I'm shooting tomorrow and had other plans today. I've been ambushed. I've gotta give the dogs baths. I've gotta catch up on laundry. I've gotta clean the house. Now for the rub. She's hidden the vacuum cleaner. Not the first time she's done this. Won't be the last. I refuse to give her the satisfaction of knowing I didn't keep up with my chores by asking "say dear, where did you put the vacuum cleaner". I'm going through the house one last time. If it don't turn up fast I guess I'm gonna surprise her with a new vacuum cleaner. Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSMITH Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 I can't help it, that is funny!! I feel for you though, stay strong!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Micah Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Good luck brother! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vluc Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Look in the attic, check her closets...LOL! You are so busted! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 You got trapped, didn't you...? Sounds kinda like a no-win situation somehow. Let us know what happens. I gotta hear the ending to this tale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtypool40 Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 (edited) I'm going through the house one last time. If it don't turn up fast I guess I'm gonna surprise her with a new vacuum cleaner. She's waiting to see how long it takes before you call looking for it. The clock has been running since the trunk closed. This is what trekkies refer to as a "Marriage Kobiashi Maru". My solutions, and yours it would seem, have the same virtues as Kirk's in that they've never been tried. I double dog dare you. Buy her the new high zoot vacum and present as a (Birthday, Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, Anniversary Present) you just couldn't wait to give her. Now THERE'S an extreme sport. yes, before you ask, I am divorced, and humor may have been a factor. Edited January 12, 2008 by dirtypool40 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STInky Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Yep, like DP said......I'd go out and buy the most expensive vacuum cleaner that I could find and then tell her " That'll Learn You !!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddy_fuentes Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Buy a new vacuum...tell her it is her early birthday present. Tell her that apparently some jerk stole the old one, but you don't want her to do without. Side note: A buddy of mine and I went fishing for a long weekend. His wife packed his suitcase. He got back and commented that she had forgotten to pack his underwear. Her reply... "it was in your tackle box. Buddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-Man Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Wow...That's funny. When she gets home, just go to work (or the range, or wherever) the next day, and take her car keys with you. Two can play at that game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SA Friday Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 If your wife is anything like mine, she already knows you were just telling her what she wanted to hear and did absolutely nothing around the house. You were busted the first phone call after she left. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spook Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 (edited) Wow, that sucks... +1 on what the other guys said. Buy a new vacuum cleaner. I wouldn't say or ask anything. Just buy it and let it sit there EDIT: LOLLL @ D-Man's suggestion! Edited January 12, 2008 by spook Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flatland Shooter Posted January 12, 2008 Author Share Posted January 12, 2008 As a follow up. PROBLEM solved. The local Kohl's department store is only 5 minutes from the house, has a nice selection of vacuum cleaners and the checkout line is not nearly as long there as at the Walmart across the street. Since this is a "surprise", the key is to not get a vacuum cleaner identical to the one somewhere in the house, or you are busted. (Tougher than it sounds if you have no clue what the old one looks like other than maroon in color and plugs into the wall). And its got to be a little nicer than the one it replaces, or you wasted money. This one is green, is not now nor has it ever been offered in maroon, and is "bagless". I'm hoping the old one used bags then we have our "improvement factor". FWIW, she also did the same routine with the shoes I like to use at pistol matches. "Are you exercising like the doctor told you to?" "Why, yes dear." I just happen to find my shoes in the exercise room on the treadmill covered with a towel. I guess I got lucky. I just happened to need a towel and found them. Time to assemble that green beauty and make sure it looks like its been used for the past month. Bill p.s. Thanks for all the encouraging remarks. Whats the old saying? "Keep your friends close ......." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
open17 Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Hmmm, Been telling her "I vacuumed yesterday"? I wonder WHERE the vacuum is this time. How big is the trunk on her car----If she is really sneaky she took it with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 I told my husband your story and his comment was, "Who cares where the vacuum is? Call a maid, they bring their own." How funny would that be? She gets back with the vacuum cleaner in her trunk but the carpet is showroom fresh! You might be able to have the maid to dust, clean the kitchen, etc for the cost of a new vacuum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Round_Gun_Shooter Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 (edited) Two things 1. I would have hired a cleaning service and not said a word. 2. Hide the new vacuum so you have it next time Edit to add: I guess Carina's husband & I think alike Edited January 12, 2008 by Round_Gun_Shooter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gameplayer Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 (edited) I would have hired a cleaning service and not said a word. Exactly what I would have done. Edited January 12, 2008 by GamePlayer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry White Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 What ever you do, pay cash.------------Larry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
herky Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 It has been my experience that vacuums and other household type items DO NOT count as birthday, anniversery, etc presents. Don't ask how I came across this bit of wisdom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STInky Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 It has been my experience that vacuums and other household type items DO NOT count as birthday, anniversery, etc presents. Don't ask how I came across this bit of wisdom. I think there might be an exception for this case...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlamoShooter Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 Check the guest room bathtub, You will have to pull the curtain back to see it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbrowndog Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 I agree with Carina, keep the game going, buy a new vacuum but keep it to yourself. You know she went thru alot of trouble to "hide" it. When the house is vacuumed, the joke is on her to figure out HOW. Trapr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vluc Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 I'd like to know what you did to get set-up like this...so I can avoid it happening to me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nashvillebill Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 Did you look under the beds? I think there's a knob near the rear wheels that make them lay flat. Just something I heard once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 I told my husband your story and his comment was, "Who cares where the vacuum is? Call a maid, they bring their own." How funny would that be? She gets back with the vacuum cleaner in her trunk but the carpet is showroom fresh! You might be able to have the maid to dust, clean the kitchen, etc for the cost of a new vacuum. That is a great idea, but not what I would do. I would......... Just leave it dirty, set a low standard and not much will be expected of you in the future. ps: Like DP, I am divorced......... Maybe this line of thinking contributed to that, I don't know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boz1911 Posted January 13, 2008 Share Posted January 13, 2008 I told my husband your story and his comment was, "Who cares where the vacuum is? Call a maid, they bring their own." How funny would that be? She gets back with the vacuum cleaner in her trunk but the carpet is showroom fresh! You might be able to have the maid to dust, clean the kitchen, etc for the cost of a new vacuum. That is a great idea, but not what I would do. I would......... Just leave it dirty, set a low standard and not much will be expected of you in the future. ps: Like DP, I am divorced......... Maybe this line of thinking contributed to that, I don't know YUP! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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