I hate my life

[goneracin]

After reading some of the PM's, maybe I don't have it as bad as other folks, and I will remember those people in my prayers. Niether i nor my children have heard from my wife in 48 hours now. I just don't understand and I hate not knowing. Thanks again everybody.

If this is in fact true, please do yourself a favor and document it. Also, make sure your money is safe. My wife worked at a bank for several years, and saw all sorts of evil that people did.

If its that bad, its harder on your children to "keep it together for the kids sake". See a lawyer, and make sure everything isnt cleaned out before hand. Terrible thought I know, but it happens more than anyone knows.

Sorry. Take care of you, and take care of the kids.

[Caspian_45]

I don't know you. But you are added to my prayer list.

My suggestion is to surround yourself with positive people. Get to a Church and make some new friends. The ones you have now are not keeping up with you enough. You have to be strong for yourself. Your children still want you as their father.

[SiG Lady]

What goneracin said.

The police and lawyers love documentation--dates, times, descriptions of incidents or troubling events. And remember what I said about a lawyer, too. Protect yourself, your estate and your children.

Simply refuse to be the victim in this case.

[chendersby]

After reading some of the PM's, maybe I don't have it as bad as other folks, and I will remember those people in my prayers. Niether i nor my children have heard from my wife in 48 hours now. I just don't understand and I hate not knowing. Thanks again everybody.

First, write down everything starting with she has been missing for 48 hours. Go back as far as you can remember this stuff happening. Write down everything, dates, times and people, even if you don't think it matters. This will have 2 benifits, first, you can establish that you are the stable parent thus ending worries of losing your kids. Second it will really pound into your head that she is not someone you want part of your life.

Second find a good lawyer. A good family lawyers job is to provide you with piece of mind. Don't be afraid to spend some time talking to them, it's worth the money.

Best thing my dad told me was hope for the best but prepare for the worst. She may come around especially if she thinks she may lose you and the kids. Also if you can get her into a shrink with you it can help but you should invest some money in seeing one yourself if you can't get her there. That is the one thing that really made a difference for me in my getting through a similar situation.

It was the worst thing that ever happened to me while it was happening but turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. Love your kids and be the stable one through this. Kids are smart they know a lot more then you think. Don't bash your wife to them but if they ask questions don't try to cover anything up. And after, don't bring another person into your life for a while as it will be hard enough for the kids to adjust to you seperated, they don't need to have to deal with dad's new girlfriend.

Good luck

[GlockSpeed31]

Prayers and well wishes go out to you and your kids, my Internet Shooting Brother!

My old boss/good friend just went through this same thing for a couple years. We could see it happening for a while, but he refused to see the real picture. He was trying his hardest to keep his family together, but the wife just had other things she was focused on. His divorce was finalized a couple months ago and now he is getting his life back on track.

In fact, I spent a good portion of the evening last night with him and his new lady friend, all having a good time and him realizing that he was in fact a good person and knew what he needed to do for him, MOVE ON WITH LIFE! He by no means wants to settle down right away, but to have someone in his life that he can have a good time with and enjoy life as it comes to him day by day.

As others have said before me, the light will become brighter and brighter for you. Let it shine on you in a positive way and start your new life with your kids. Stay in contact with family and true, good friends and start doing the things that makes you happy.

Best of luck to you my friend.

Michael

[latewatch]

Been through this myself.

Take care of your children first and then yourself. Everything else is trivial and will work itself out. Just remember there is a reason everything happens and after the storm is over your life will be better and richer.

And let me reiterate, take care of your children!!! Down the road that will be your greatest source of happiness and pride.

Good Luck and God Bless

[bulm540]

Tough times don't last but tough people do

[gm iprod]

As far as the kids are concerned.

Be honest with them. Let them know it isn't their fault and you still love them.

The rest will sort itself out, IF you never give in.

[diablodawg]

That sucks, man. Went through a less nasty (plus no kids) divorce about a year ago; things will get better. There are PLENTY of nice chicks out there for a hardworking, good dude. I had a similar deal with still having feelings for my ex- but then I did the math; write out all the pros and cons and see if you still love her after you see it in black and white. And after you meet a cool chick and have a good time, even if you don't stay with her long-term, you will feel alot better.

Edited July 27, 2009 by diablodawg

[STI2011]

Do all you can do to make sure that your kids are taken care of and that they understand the situation and that you love them. Never use them as a go between, don't force them to take sides.

[CSEMARTIN]

Niether i nor my children have heard from my wife in 48 hours now.

I would file a missing persons report with the police. What better way to document something? And it shows concern and responsibility on your part.

[dsb45acp]

Haven't posted in a while because Mr. Murphy made a special guest appearence and sure enough, things went from bad to much worse. UnF'inbeliveable. The little kids are with me (ages 6,2 &1) and the teenagers are with her mother. She has now changed her mind and told me she does not want a divorce and wants to work things out, go to indiviual and marriage counseling, she still loves me , etc. I dont know if she is lying to me or not. There are other aspects of this I can't talk about right now, but when I can, I'll update everybody. Thanks for all the support, advice and prayers. Kepp me on the prayer list as Iwill keep y'all on mine. Everybody have a good weekend and good matches!

[Gwhiz]

Hang in there. Take the high road, kids watch. This could be a bi-polar event. That causes some wild swings in ones life. Just something to think about. Prayers inbound for you and yours.

[halogrinder]

Haven't posted in a while because Mr. Murphy made a special guest appearence and sure enough, things went from bad to much worse. UnF'inbeliveable. The little kids are with me (ages 6,2 &1) and the teenagers are with her mother. She has now changed her mind and told me she does not want a divorce and wants to work things out, go to indiviual and marriage counseling, she still loves me , etc. I dont know if she is lying to me or not. There are other aspects of this I can't talk about right now, but when I can, I'll update everybody. Thanks for all the support, advice and prayers. Kepp me on the prayer list as Iwill keep y'all on mine. Everybody have a good weekend and good matches!

dude. srsly.

walk away from it.

its a mind game. keep focused on the munchkins and forget the other half.

you need to roll with the punches. swing back with papers and go on with your kids life.

it never seems to amaze me how couples stay together, and yet BOTH are absolutely miserable.

make yourself happy.

good luck in your endeavours.

roll on over to houston, we'll catch a beer and do something to make you forget whats goin on

Edited August 29, 2009 by halogrinder

[Round_Gun_Shooter]

Haven't posted in a while because Mr. Murphy made a special guest appearence and sure enough, things went from bad to much worse. UnF'inbeliveable. The little kids are with me (ages 6,2 &1) and the teenagers are with her mother. She has now changed her mind and told me she does not want a divorce and wants to work things out, go to indiviual and marriage counseling, she still loves me , etc. I dont know if she is lying to me or not. There are other aspects of this I can't talk about right now, but when I can, I'll update everybody. Thanks for all the support, advice and prayers. Kepp me on the prayer list as Iwill keep y'all on mine. Everybody have a good weekend and good matches!

Well Brother, I don't know you, I don't know what you are feeling (other than the confusion. I can understand that) All I can say is do what is best for you and your Children. Notice I put you first. Without you, they will have a more difficult time.

I will send you positive thoughts and hopes you find the guidance you need to make the tough decisions you need to make.

[dsb45acp]

Well, now that everything is over, I can tell the story. On July 31st last year, my wife self inflicted injuries and went to the police and blamed me. I've had to hire lawyers and investigators but finally on Wednesday, all charges were dismissed and I can now go on with my life. I took the kids to Tee ball and then we went out to dinner. Later that day, I rejoined the USPSA and am looking forward to shooting again. Just yesterday my wife was arrested for mulptile drug charges and is still in jail. This has been the longest 9 months of my life, but I'm filing for an expungement of my arrest record and for divorce. I hate that I have to do it, but I've really tried and supported her through all this and not gotten any support in return. The reward I got was her being arrested along with some meth head! I'm just glad it's over. Thanks to all for the support and encouragement you've offered and hope to see you on the range soon!

[Tim Egan]

You have done well to be strong thru the adversity you have had to face.

If you need any help with getting custody of your children please pm me.

Been there and done that and have no regrets.

[Pat Miles]

Don't ever be sorry that you did what you Had to do! You didn't put yourself in the position of having to file for the divorce and expunging your record. You HAVE to be there for your children to try and give them a normal life with love and direction. To be able to do so you HAVE to save yourself and be able to move forward. Don't ever give up for the sake of the kids.

Courage,

Pat

[Steve J]

Good for you. Good for you.

[CSEMARTIN]

Thanks for the update. Glad to hear your life is back on track!

[JimmyZip]

Good to hear your okay. Prayin for you man. My problems seem lighter now, that I can see yours are getting there too. Thanks.

JZ

[Flexmoney]

Life is short. Don't let it (the situation) drag out, if you can help it.

[kaiserb]

You made it through the fire, congratulations. You have done what many fear they may have to do themselves, knowing few have endured.

[Bob DuBois]

Went through a similar bad divorce thirty five years ago. Real hard times for several years. My first wife wasn't worth her weight in salt. My second wife is worth her weight in gold and we just had our 30th. By and far the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Times my seem confused and hard but be positive, it will get better. Build a better life going forward. Good people are pulling and praying for you.

[SiG Lady]

I'm incredibly pleased to see that justice was done and you came out all clean and tidy. Good job! Hang in there and take care of the kids. They'll love you for it.