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The Funniest thing you've heard at the range?


jasmap

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We have had a thread on the funniest thing you've done at the range but I couldn't find a thread on what's the funniest thing you've said or heard at the range.

We were shooting a match with some buddies and one of them happened to be a gynecologist. After he was done with a stage he shot pretty poorly and then ULSC he was walking back to his range bag. He wasn't happy with his run and was clearly thinking about his poor stage. A friend of mine looked at him and said "Hey Doc. You shoot like a gynecologist." It was funny at the time but he didn't laugh too hard.

The same smart-alec buddy burnt me at least two or three times on the same stupid joke. I would screw a stage and I'd be pissed off and walking away from the stage. He would walk up as if to offer help or to make me feel better for screwing up. He'd talk and then ask me if I knew why I screwed that stage. Thinking he was offering constructive criticism or help I'd say no. Then he'd look me square in the eye and say "Because you're stupid."

Coming from someone else that's not funny but since he is a friend and I know his humor it was funny. Well it wasn't funny to me at the time since I was pissed at screwing a stage but it's funny now.

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At the 2009 IDPA Nationals, there was one stage with some targets behind hard cover which was steel. If you hit the steel it would ring, and you would know it was a miss. I was watching this stage when this was overheard. "Yesterday there was a guy on this stage that was slapping that steel like a Russian bride"

I almost had gatorade coming out of my nose. :roflol:

Edited by HOOLIHAN
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At the MS 3 gun match last week, I was shooting at a steel plate with my 308, that we all thought was the same type target as the previous three, when I hit steel and it rang, but no hit was called, hit it again, no hit was called, hit it again, no hit was called. i asked what am i hitting, the reply was "I don't know, but you're knocking the hell out of it" :roflol:

trapr

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Other people said that this was funny. At the time, I was in no position to appreciate it.

Shooting a match right after a downpour. I slipped and fell while moving downrange, came to a stop face down on the mud, the loaded gun still in my hand with the arm extended and gun pointed downrange. My left leg is shaking - I am obviously injured. The SO wants the gun cleared and he does not want me to make the injury worse. So he puts his hand between my shoulder blades and says "Bill, don't move, OK?". Great guy, priorities correct. I lay there, leg shaking, and responded "No S*%t" The peanut gallery busts out laughing, some of them roaring. Glad to be of service, guys...

Billski

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This is probably not new to most of you, but... I was first on the line at a complicated stage on a day where things had been going well. After my run, the RO congratulated me, "Well, you have the best score on this stage so far." It wasn't funny till I sat down and thought about it while reloading, then I cracked up.

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Quasi-gang-banger type, with friends, at the rifle range. He stood up and *emptied* the 10 round mag in a .308 AR as fast as he could pull the trigger. He SHOT THE CABLE :surprise: that runs the target back and forth that was 4 feet above the target!! As the target swings down and hits the ground he says :

"Wow...shoots NICE!!" :huh::blink:

When the RO went and got the target it only had 4 holes in it....

Did I mention they were asked to leave after that? :)

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My buddy, DeweyH, was running me through an IDPA stage. There were 10 targets so 20 rounds minimum. I'm still learning to call my shots and I thought I had a couple misses on two of the far targets so I took an extra shot at each. That meant I ran out with one shot left to go on the last target and had to do an extra reload. After I finished, he told me, "That's what I like about you.....you're stupid!" I still laugh when I think about it.

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At this years Carolina Cup the SO started giving us the stage description of the school bus stage. I looked at him and said wow I have never been in a school bus this big before. I think he really believed me because I heard later on he was telling the other squads "This guy from Virginia said he had never been in a bus this big before!"

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RO class couple of years ago - gave the following command "If you are finished slide forward hammer down" and George Jones starts sliding down range. The funniest thing I have ever seen. And I have never said that command since then.

Oh yeah and got done shooting a stage and one of my buddies says "what the hell did you do that for?" Just got to know the guy.

Made me laugh.

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IF!! you are finished...

Dan, I heard that repeated a couple times at a club match where the shooter was hitting a plate that would not fall and proceeded to hit it with all the rounds in the mag, stop, look at the plate,the SO said "if you..." and he reloaded, shot several more, stopped, the SO said "if you...", shot some more... :roflol:

Edited by Classic_jon
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