MichiganShootist Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 (edited) You're An EXTREME Redneck When..... 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it. 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4. You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night. 5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean. 6. Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.' 7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. 9. Your junior prom offered day care. 10. You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines. ' 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. 12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. 18. You go to a family reunion to pick up chicks. 19 Your outside furniture used to be your inside furniture 20. You have more cars in your yard than WalMart has in their lot on Saturday. Edited May 18, 2009 by MichiganShootist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Storm52 Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 21. You introduce your wife and sister to your friends and there is only 1 woman standing there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dsb45acp Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. It doesn't...? Well, you learn something new everyday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outerlimits Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 22. your family tree has one branch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TMC Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 23. If, while mowing your lawn, you find a car 24. if you have a house that's mobile and cars that arent' 25. If your richest relative buys a new home you have to come over to help him take the wheels off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MichiganShootist Posted May 18, 2009 Author Share Posted May 18, 2009 Wow-- I like where this is going Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe4d Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 You refer to the 7th grade as your Senior Year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JKSNIPER Posted May 18, 2009 Share Posted May 18, 2009 Its not "Hey guys watch this" Its : "Hey Y'all! Watch this!" Followed by loud explosions and screams. JK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lalakai Posted May 19, 2009 Share Posted May 19, 2009 ....if you use the toilet bowl brush as a back scratcher ....if you use suspenders to hold up your sweat pants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ong45 Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Its not "Hey guys watch this"Its : "Hey Y'all! Watch this!" Followed by loud explosions and screams. JK Another version is " hold my beer while i try this" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexmoney Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 I can't understand...handing somebody my beer to hold...or putting it down ?!?! You'uns are a bit wierd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffWard Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 26. You STILL have a 8' satellite dish in your yard... 27. The contents of your gun-rack is worth more than the truck it's mounted in... 28. You refer to your Mother-In-Law as the "Old Bag", and she's in the room... More? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 29 you get up in the mornin and brush yur tooth jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shootingirons45 Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 30. When asked what is long and hard on you, you reply, the third grade Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokshwn Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 You might be an EXTREME Redneck if you have trouble spelling Redneck in your thread title Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonT Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 You might be an EXTREME Redneck if you have trouble spelling Redneck in your thread title Priceless 32) re-roofing your house means buying more blue tarps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSEMARTIN Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Check this out: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MichiganShootist Posted May 21, 2009 Author Share Posted May 21, 2009 Hey Chris.... I forgot your family reunion was this week..... thanks for sharing the pictures:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outerlimits Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 redneck bbq grill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uscbigdawg Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 23. If, while mowing your lawn, you find a car You laugh, but we found a boat on my buddy's property in Vacaville. Hadn't cut the back 20 acres in about 6 months and the fire marshall asked him to trim it down. Busted two weed wackers when we hit the trailer that it was sitting on and voila...boat. Rich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doug H. Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 redneck bbq grill Must be a redneck grill, there's no wheels on the cart! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom S. Posted May 22, 2009 Share Posted May 22, 2009 If you were class valedictorian for 1981, 1982 and 1983. If you attended school at UCLA (Upper Corner of Lower Alabama). If your daughter calls you 'Uncle-Daddy'. If you're in the same grade as your son. If you told a friend to meet you at the corner of "Walk and Don't Walk". If your friend actually knew where that corner was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted May 23, 2009 Share Posted May 23, 2009 Love the Redneck swimming pool!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snertley Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 (edited) If your best pick-up line is "Hey, nice tooth!" ..... and it works. Edited May 25, 2009 by snertley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S&W627shooter Posted May 25, 2009 Share Posted May 25, 2009 If you think thet the phrase 10-15 pounds on the side of a box of diapers means how much they will hold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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