Tyrannical Teachers

[carinab]

I can count on one hand how many behavior violations my daughter had in 1st grade. She's not the kind of kid that intentionally breaks rules. She quite the opposite in fact. She hates to disappoint anyone. She has a perfectionist type of personality and is hard on herself when she does something wrong.

In two weeks, she has managed to get double the amount of behavior demerits as she had in all of last year.

Four of them were for talking. Who did she talk to? The teacher. What did she say? Was she back-talking? Was she interrupting? No, she asked to go to the bathroom....

I love it when a group of teachers, because they don't like the system in place that the prior grade teachers used, decide to do the complete opposite of what the students (or any other considerate, well mannered individual) would consider normal. Don't ask to go to the bathroom! Instead get a cup, put it on your desk, and just go. But don't you dare have the need to go during lesson time! Oh no, that's not allowed! You're supposed to just sit there and worry about messing yourself! Never mind the fact that I told you to eat a snack a half hour ago.... "Uh, what lesson are you talking about? I was focusing on keeping my bladder from voiding on your floor!" ARGH!

Today she got a demerit for NFD - Not Following Directions...Yes, this teacher has twelve abbreviated codes at the bottom of her daily class activity sheet for rule infractions that gets sent home to parents....

When I asked my daughter to explain what happened, she said the teacher had assigned the class to start on page 20, section C. She then thought the teacher told everyone to go on to section D. She hadn't completed section C but went on to Section D - doing what she thought she was told. When the teacher checked work around the class room, she noticed my daughter hadn't done the sentences in section C and gave her a demerit - telling her not to skip ahead. I asked my daughter if the teacher had explicitly told the class to do all of C before moving on to D and she didn't think so. I then wondered if she wasn't supposed to do section D at all - no, that was part of the assignment. I then wondered if she hadn't completed the assignment in proper time. No, she was done early and read a book while she waited for the rest of class to finish....

WTF!!!!!!!

I wrote a very diplomatic email to the teacher asking her to clarify her rules because I believe my daughter would be more than happy to follow them but that she just hasn't understood or learned them properly up to this point. I'm really curious as to what her answer will be. It better be damn well reasoned and well thought out. I'm a rule following type. My daughter has rules and is considered by many to be thoughtful and courteous and respectful. A lady down the street actually sent her kids off to private school when her oldest had completed 2nd grade. I now understand why. I'm thinking that my daughter is headed for the magnet school at winter break if this is going to be the SOP....

Can you tell I'm just a little wound tight about this???!!!

:angry2:

[MarkS_A18138]

Wow!!!!! Then I would have gone straight to jail for the way I acted in grade school if this lady was teaching.....Think goodness for private schools! Just send her to school in a sniper hide shirt or a nice smith and Wesson girls shirt! Just kidding! Your too nice, I can't write so I would have had a parent teacher conf!

I have had one and it scared the crap out of the teacher. I didn't mean for it to but he was a little freaked when I wanted to talk with him about Shea! Good luck!

[EZ Bagger]

Hope you're able to come to a meeting of the minds with the teacher.

[Steve J]

I can't even imagine, Carina. I would either die an early death from high blood pressure or the teacher would, and I'd be in jail.

[JimmyZip]

Carina,

Mrs. Zip is a 1st grade teacher and is rather strict. But I can tell you that she is well liked by most of her students parents and her administrators. Once she did not allow a little girl to use the restroom 15 minutes after a break. This girl in particular had been asking quite a bit. My wife thought she was just trying to get out and walk the halls( like kids are known to do) Poor little girl wet herself. My wife had to call her parents and explain/apologize. Wife found out the little girl had a urinary tract infection. Parents neglected to tell her about it. Mrs. Zip lost alot of sleep over this. While strict, she is not unfair.

Been on the other side too and I just went ahead and talked to the Principal. Seems I get what I want alot more than the other parents who assume the teacher know best. We know that NOONE knows better than we, the dilligent parents who raise our children. Sometimes we must be the loudest advocates for our children. Do not worry about ruffling feathers. Teachers are adults and should be able to handle criticism as well as anyone. Many times our children need their Mamma Bear to stand up for them!

Hang in there!, JZ

[AlamoShooter]

This ...should scare you....my second grade teacher targeted me as a trouble maker and that ...THAT is why I am the way I am.

Get your kids away from that teacher.

[carinab]

I wouldn't be so upset except that my daughter today begged me to home school her. She actually said she doesn't like going to school. Last year she was excited about having homework, went way beyond what was asked for, she loves learning. She insisted on math software for her birthday because she thinks fibonacci numbers are cool! She's in the gifted program so it's not like she's some mindless mouth breather waiting till she can get home to her xbox. BTW, the pullout reach classes start next week. I can't wait to see how this teacher handles my daughter's request for her classwork....

[MarkS_A18138]

Home schooling is not a bad thing, just look at Shea! Ok bad example! I am a firm believer in private schools or home schooling! Shea will never see a public school! Just because she could not wear all the cool shooting shirts she has! Her pastor and principal love all her shirts! Oh also that they push her way beyond what she would ever be pushed in public schools down here, and she is just not another number of the state!

[ChrisStock]

Hope you're able to come to a meeting of the minds with the teacher.

I believe it would take two functioning minds for that to occur Unfortunately, CarinaBa is out of luck from what I have read, and might as well be talking to the walls in a padded room. The probable replies would be worth no less than what she would get in return. Sorry to hear about the mess, and yes, I too would have been hanged from the flagpole if my teachers tried that shizzle with me.

Edited September 5, 2008 by ChrisStock

[TRNinTX]

BJ has been home schooled and has never seen the inside of a public school from a student's perspective. When we were living in Northern VA it was apparent that extraordinary students and special needs students reaped the rewards of the taxpayers. Everyone else got lost in the clutter. Besides it has been my experience that a large majority of teachers want to indoctrinate your children, not teach them.

BTW, I think he turned out pretty good

[-JQ-]

I'm afraid I may have to give your daughter a FTN...

We had a teacher in 5th grade that made teachers bow to her and say allah, allah when they forgot something for class...she was tenured so they...that's right kiddies...got moved up to the school board...wtf!

Good luck.

[Jaxshooter]

Be careful what you say to the teacher, you may get a demerit. I would ask for a face to face meeting with the teacher. You call tell alot more about people when you are looking at them and hearing thier tone of voice etc.

Edited September 6, 2008 by Jaxshooter

[Flatland Shooter]

Besides it has been my experience that a large majority of teachers want to indoctrinate your children, not teach them.

That my beef with the modern school system. We don't need more leaders, we need more worker drones.

Too many schools have become the haven of lazy teachers that are not in it for the satisfaction of giving the kids a good education. They want an easy job in an air conditioned classroom where they can "bully" your children in the name of modern education.

Oh, and 3 months vacation wasn't a deal killer for them either.

My apologies in advance to any really good dedicated teachers out there that take offense. And for the not so good, not so dedicated teachers out there that take offense, shame on you.

Bill

p.s. Well educated and somewhat successful in spite of my sometimes piss poor education.

[bierman]

+100 for home schooling.

Edited September 6, 2008 by bierman

[Qbert]

I wish I could afford to send my kids to a private school. They have been attending a "Back to Basics" Charter school. So far, so good, but only time will tell.

[John Dunn]

Part of life is learning that not everyone will recognize your (or your child's) genius.

In front of my kid I'd back the teacher and tell my daughter to use the cup and follow directions. Privately I'd talk to the teacher, let her know how upset my kid is, and ask her to lighten up a little.

Finally, how do you keep from laughing at any system that hands out demerits? When I was a kid any discipline that didn't end in corporal punishment was uniformly scoffed. To this day I can't believe the stuff "progressive" teachers let me get away with.

I should add that my wife is home schooling our kids, and I get regular reports that she is mean and made the children redo some of their assignments. Good luck.

Edited September 6, 2008 by John Dunn

[carinab]

I don't expect anyone to recognize my child is a genius. This is more about a power struggle between the 1st and 2nd grade teachers with the kids being caught in the middle. These teachers know how things are done in first grade and choose to do something completely different. Something that doesn't quite make common sense - to punish kids for asking for permission. My daughter knew she was not supposed to go during lesson but she needed to go (after eating the morning snack earlier), so she asked. And because she talked, she got the write up. I did tell my daughter that rules are rules. But I also told her that if it's an emergency and she HAS to go, to just walk out of the classroom and take the demerit. A demerit doesn't carry the same stigma as wetting yourself in class.

As for the demerit for skipping ahead, apparently the teacher does want work completed in sequence. She doesn't think my daughter misunderstood about being told to move on to the next section. And she may be right....I can see my daughter wanting to do similar problems from each section together and then doing the other problems together. She thinks that way, grouping and organizing things (her crayons are separated into cool and warm colors). I don't quite understand the harm in doing it that way. And the teacher didn't explain her reason for wanting it done in sequence either. Her reply essentially was that she has to be mean at the start of the year so that the rest of the year goes smoothly. My reply to that was neutral saying I'd reiterate her rules to my daughter but that there is a fine line between redirecting a child and squashing her spirit. So essentially I did what you suggested in your rebuttal.

[Al Capizzo]

BJ has been home schooled and has never seen the inside of a public school from a student's perspective.

Same here, for 6 kids. It isn't easy, but my opinion of public schools has always been, uh, negative.

[Jon Merricks]

Just don't hit the teacher!

[raz-0]

I don't expect anyone to recognize my child is a genius. This is more about a power struggle between the 1st and 2nd grade teachers with the kids being caught in the middle. These teachers know how things are done in first grade and choose to do something completely different. Something that doesn't quite make common sense - to punish kids for asking for permission.

[sNIP]

the teacher didn't explain her reason for wanting it done in sequence either. Her reply essentially was that she has to be mean at the start of the year so that the rest of the year goes smoothly. My reply to that was neutral saying I'd reiterate her rules to my daughter but that there is a fine line between redirecting a child and squashing her spirit. So essentially I did what you suggested in your rebuttal.

Given the above, I'd seriously suggest talking to the principal regarding the teachers, and their incoherent approach to establishing a set of rules of behavior for the classroom. That arbitratily punishing students attempting to be polite and respect the teacher's authority so that a good scare can be put into a bunch of second graders also isn't exactly an attitude you approve of, and you are curious as to which side the prinicpal agrees with.

[HighVelocity]

When my son was in the 4th grade, we had a similar issue. I was on a fist name basis with most of the school staff because I spent almost as much time in the principals office as my kid.

Finally, in a student teacher conference, I told the teacher that was giving us all the grief, that if she didn't ease up, I was going to make it my mission in life to get her job. At first, she was skeptical but after a week of me calling the school superintendent with daily reports of her nonsense, she backed off.

I hope that you're able to resolve this. It's very stressful for the whole household.

Gary