Frustration VENT-Ladies how would THIS make YOU Feel?

[NJGlockGirl]

Okay,,,,I have "sat" on this comment, for four days, and it just WON'T leave my head. So, I thought that I would throw it out there, and see what OTHER women (and maybe even what the guys, may think).

Our First Outdoor match, is in full swing, and we had a lady, come over and visit our squad, (she had later told me later that, she had chose our squad, BECAUSE, there were two ladies shooting, on our squad, and wanted to know more - from ALL of our [squad] members). Anyway, she was new to shooting, and VERY interested in Shooting Sports. Getting a lot of good feedback, from pretty much everybody on our squad. It wasn't long before she had taken up residence of the ears, (and side), of one of our more, "Experienced Shooters", for advice, gathering info on everything from, equipment & reloading, to the Rules & Regs. of USPSA/IPSC shooting and Steel Plate shooting. We are all having a nice day, shooting the targets and the breeze, when it was not long before a Shooter, that I have known, for a while, took notice of the lady, and came over to me, and asked, "Who is (So and So's), "New Friend"? I explained that, she was new into shooting, and was very interested in how to get started, into shooting Shooting Sports, in general. His comment to me was, "Oh Great, that's all we need out here, is YET ANOTHER DISTRACTION!" He took a cookie from the Cookie Bin, and started to walk away. As he was doing so, I asked him point blank, "Is THAT how you see, Women Shooters,,,,As a DISTRACTION"? He followed up with another "quip",,,, "Well, let's put it THIS way, at least you smell better than, THIS guy", (pointing to a gentleman that had no idea as to what had just been said - bewildered - now he thinks that He smells bad, as well).

Throughout the three and a half years, that I have been shooting, it has taken me quite a bit, not only to overcome the many difficulties that ALL new shooters face:, The "Super Slow New Shooter", trying learn the ropes and the Rules of a fairly difficult sport. But also as a shooter with certain physical limitations as well: Being A VERY SHORT shooter- LOL, while also trying to overcome being, a Disabled shooter, as well. I learned, as we all have, by asking a LOT of questions, and just basically, learning HOW to shoot, while on the move. I like to I think that, I have managed to come a LONG way from the days of, actually PULLING my mags out of my pistol, and PLACING it on the ground, to now being able, to pop a mag change, without a glance! To be honest, often my biggest fear has been breaking a rule and being sent home. It's happened to most of us, and its NOT fun, BUT, I took it for what it was: A learning experience, that I will ALWAYS remember. My next biggest fear, as silly as it may sound is,,,when I'm up to shoot, and the ENTIRE next squad comes up waiting to shoot, and are watching how we (as a squad in general), shoot the stage, (I can imagine that this is often nerve wracking, even if you're a guy). Basically, you now you have an entire other squad, (usually about 10-13 people), watching (and critiquing), EVERYBODY'S, shooting skills, and "how the stage can be shot". Often, the most helpful aspect of this, is that, they now can now watch to see, HOW THEY might be able, to shoot the stage, for Example: who is taking the best angles, wasted movements, and what they will or won't do, when it is their chance to shoot. Like I said, it's a bit nerve wracking, but we have ALL had to shoot with another squad on our heels.

So, with all of the REAL DISTRACTIONS, that are involved with our sport, (180 scares, DQ's possibilities, Gun Malfunctions,not to mention the fact that we are actually, moving and shooting, one could go on forever, about the REAL distractions in this sport, and thought process, that MUST go into Practical Shooting. So, hearing that LADIES are a DISTRACTION - SERIOUSLY Dude - THIS is what you REALLY think? Thus leaving me with the question: Am I off base by thinking that, this was just absolutely the WRONG thing to do? To VERBALLY ANNOUNCE, to ANY Lady Shooter, that I now have yet ANOTHER, (rather GROSS, I might add), DISTRACTION, to MY GAME. Honestly, I could care less if you THINK it, but telling me this,,, well, it just blew me out of the water. And now, after four days, can I STILL not get this comment out of my head?

Look, I know that I am in,,,,(how do I put this),,,,In a predominantly "man's world", when I go to the range, but honestly, I just wanted try to blend in, and shoot like I BELONG there. I also want to be respected simply for being OUT there. When it's FREEZING cold, or Hotter than Haties, I'm usually out there despite my better judgement, and disabilities, I'm there because I JUST WANT TO SHOOT! Certainly not because, I am trying to garner the attention, of ANYBODY, (I have my Husband for that - thank you very much). I want to be respected as a SHOOTER, not be told that I'm a distraction!

So tell me ladies, how would YOU feel, if this was spoken aloud to you, while at a match, or just at the range?

Yes, it's been four days, but I'm STILL Bewildered, by the fact that this was brought to my attention,,,,,UGGGGG! Why do people leave the house, without their "Brain to Mouth Filter" placed in the "on" position? Any thoughts?

[abn-rgr]

I think it was a pretty rude comment, but he may have meant it in the context that pretty ladies are sometimes distracting to men. I never see lady shooters as a handicap to the sport if that is what he meant.

[Merlin Orr]

The little head does not have much capacity for brains.

When a man speaks from the output of the little head just think to yourself.."well bless his heart" as you would any other short bus rider when they make a comment that demonstrates their obvious lack of mental horsepower.

Edited March 4, 2011 by Merlin Orr

[Vlad]

I'm no lady, as you well know, but next time you I would inform the 'gentleman' to occasionally leave his cave and learn that the rest of the world would probably define his behavior as 'being an ass'. On, the other hand, us men can be awkward creatures around the fair half of the species, so keep in mind it might have been a poor attempt at being funny or clever, instead of misogynistic.

[Nik Habicht]

Caron,

while I don't ordinarily think in terms of "Respect" when contemplating fellow shooters, you earned mine a few years ago when you showed up for a match in freezing conditions in February (firmly demonstrating that you were "our kind of stupid"), while Ron stayed warm on the couch.... :P

I think Merlin said perfectly -- don't give the guy who made the comment the power to hang out in your head. Guys tend to banter on the range, and there's often very little thinking involved in that banter; conversely the banter doesn't always express deeply seated beliefs, sometimes it's just something dumb (and hopefully funny) to throw out there....

Keep pursuing that B card; I know you already have a ten year plan to vanquish the opposition, when those cookies finally take a toll on their speed, and you leave them in the dust..... :D

[rgkeller]

The comments of others have no power over you unless you permit it.

You likely cannot change others.

You can, however, change the way you react.

Edited March 4, 2011 by rgkeller

[CocoBolo]

The vast majority of shooters are good people after all "An armed society is a polite society", but to be sure we have a few that are a bit unsavory. But I feel your pain, just this Sunday I was told by a "M" that he could beat me on crutches, later followed by a "GM" explaining that he wasn't being critial of my ability to move fast, he was laughing at everything else. Ok, so I'm a joke, cripes I shoot better than 3/4's of folks at the match what are they thinking about them. In my case bottom line why pay any attention to the words of a raving lunatic, nor his tonto aka companion. In your case just consider the source.

[Kyle O]

In my few years on this planet I've noticed (and seen evidence) that if you take 100 people, whether they be preachers, doctors, cops, teenagers, whatever, and put them together and observe, then there are gonna be 2 or 3 of the bunch that are just hopeless and rotten.

I keep trying to find less of them though!

[BritinUSA]

It was a dis-respectful comment to be sure. I suspect that this individual is concerned about the possibility of getting beaten by a woman at a match and so seeks to diminish women as a defense mechanism.

Best solution to this problem; Bring more women to the range...

[-JQ-]

... us men can be awkward creatures around the fair half of the species, so keep in mind it might have been a poor attempt at being funny or clever, instead of misogynistic.

+1

"grunt, grunt, grunt" - T. Allen

[redmanfixit]

It used to be a "man's world" but now, not so much! In the future, less and less. One thing that characterizes many humans is the inability to adapt to change. In some of us, it's REALLY bad. It' causes periodic eruptions of drivel. I console myself with the observation that God MUST love idiots, he makes SO many!! Don't quit, don't let em get on your nerves.

[GentlemanJim]

I know several top Lady shooters, and they can RIP UP on many a man and my wife whoops me regular

Dont let a stupid inconsiderate comment taint your love of the sport, we all can put our foot in mouth from time to time.

Just know most of us very much enjoy having as many Ladies shooting as possible

Next time the guy wants a cookie...feed him one, rectaly

Jim

[Powder Finger]

Since this is a distraction to him he probably does not have the means to learn from any and all shooters at a match.

You can learn about shooting or anything else for that matter from the low to high score shooter, women, men, kids.

Perhaps he is just perfecting cookie eating while he searches for a reason (excuse) as to why he shot the way he did.

Just forget him, don't let him enter your space (head).

[SiG Lady]

What Kyle O and BritinUSA (and others) said.

Obviously, this guy has no clue about the advantages of "if you can't lick 'em, join 'em." He should make FRIENDS with all the new lady shooters rather than alienate them. You never know when you're going to suddenly learn something valuable by paying attention to even the beginners. Hey, he's only hurting himself by being an asshat!

I consider ALL the people I shoot with as someone-to-learn-from.

[beltjones]

The way I read it, the guy made a dumb, insensitive comment and he didn't realize you would take offense to it. Poor judgement though it may be, it's not worth getting HR involved just yet.

The guy probably meant to say, "Wow. She's pretty" in a humorous way that wouldn't make him look like a total pig. Little did he know, the "distraction" comment made him look like an even bigger pig. What can I say, it's not easy being a guy sometimes.

Also keep in mind that when guys talk trash on the range, they very rarely take into account the individual struggles and tribulations of the people around them, so the odds that he meant that your presence as a former beginner, as a woman, as a shooter in general is also a distraction are about zip to none. If anything, he probably sees you as someone on the same level as him with whom he can be chummy.

[spanky]

In my few years on this planet I've noticed (and seen evidence) that if you take 100 people, whether they be preachers, doctors, cops, teenagers, whatever, and put them together and observe, then there are gonna be 2 or 3 of the bunch that are just hopeless and rotten.

I keep trying to find less of them though!

Only 3? That's very generous.

[LadyinBlue]

Oh, if I could remember all the unsavory comments I have heard on the range I could write a "Man's Self-Help" book.

Honestly, it's the nature of the beast...men don't think like women. (this is not meant to be an excuse)

And usually they don't consider the feelings of others before they speak...especially at the range.

It is sometimes a contest of who can make the most quick and witty comment before the next guy.

BTW...men are not the only ones capable of distasteful comments

I myself, try not to take these types of comments too seriously...especially when I'm working on my own "mental game".

Shooters are just a microcosm of the human race..."they is what they is".

Just get out there and shoot your best game and don't let anyone psych you out!

And, don't give him anymore of your home-made cookies.

[Flexmoney]

... us men can be awkward creatures around the fair half of the species, so keep in mind it might have been a poor attempt at being funny or clever, instead of misogynistic.

+1

"grunt, grunt, grunt" - T. Allen

+2

He likely didn't mean the ladies were a "distraction"...

He sounds more used to snakes and snails and puppy dog tails.

[lumpygravy]

NJGG,

I've returned to the sport after an extended leave and one of the most amazing and welcome changes that I have noticed is the increased participation of ladies. The only "distraction" I've noticed is that several women shoot better than I do and I am intently watching them as they shoot for tips and strategies - just as I would a better male shooter.

Though we are cross coasts, if I ever get to your side, I would consider it an honor to shoot with you.

It seems that, at the time, you made your feelings known. It's not your fault that the other guy is clueless.

[JakeMartens]

Sounds like he was trying to in a round about man's way of screwing up most of the time we open our mouths' in front of a women say a compliment.

He was saying that as a lady you smell nice and can be a distraction to men because they are going to have some of their attention focus on you and the other attractive ladies.

What we mean and what we say are two different things, and when it comes to what women hear and what they assume we mean, well hell that has been a problem between the sexes since adam and eve.

Hell yeah a pretty lady out there running around shooting gun is going to be a distraction to a man. Men are visual creatures. we see something nice in an environment we enjoy, well that is the "cake and eating it too"

If there were more of you pretty women out there shooting with us there wouldn't be as many of us fat guys out there, we may try to loose a few pounds, maybe shave before the match, were a shirt with less stains on it.......instead of smelling like Hoppes, maybe throw some aftershave on

This could be a very good thing for the sport

[rgkeller]

I know that every time someone calls me an "old man" I tear up and find it hard to concentrate on my shooting.

Edited March 4, 2011 by rgkeller

[J-Ho]

If she is on the range a woman is a shooter like any other. Are women a lot better to look at than men? Yes they are, thank god. But rude comments are just that, rude. Anyone, absolutely anyone who is interested in shooting is a shooter. Man, woman, child, adult, one arm or two. It doesn't matter. If they have interest in this game, they deserve the same respect as anyone else.

[want2race]

His tone is something lost when describing it here on the forum. Only the OP knows his tone and possible intent. It could have been a compliment, sure. It could also have been a rude comment. Maybe he was worried about being beaten by you and "gamed" you. A simple comment to completely derail your mental game. If so, it worked. I've seen it done, sometimes it's a just a simple ribbing, sometimes it's more severe.

[BritinUSA]

His tone is something lost when describing it here on the forum. Only the OP knows his tone and possible intent. It could have been a compliment, sure. It could also have been a rude comment. Maybe he was worried about being beaten by you and "gamed" you. A simple comment to completely derail your mental game. If so, it worked. I've seen it done, sometimes it's a just a simple ribbing, sometimes it's more severe.

I agree that the tone of the remark is lost in the re-telling, but I don't think that NJGlockGirl would have posted this if the tone was in any way jocular or lighthearted. The way I am reading this from her post is that the comment was delivered in a demeaning manner.

[Dan Hefta]

This thread is making me feel a bit more sensitive, I may even let my wife quit one of her jobs after reading this......NOT!