dajarrel Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the system is set up. Here is a guide to the point system: SIMPLE DUTIES * You make the bed. (+1) * You make the bed but forget the decorative pillow. (0) * You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1) * You go out to buy her what she wants. (+5) In the rain. (+8) But return with Beer. (-5) * You check out a suspicious noise at night. (+1) * You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing. (0) * You check out a suspicious noise and it is something. (+5) * You pummel it with iron rod. (+10) * It's her pet. (-20) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS You stay by her side the entire party. (0) You stay by her side for a while and then leave to chat with a college buddy. (-2) Named Tina. (-10) Tina is a dancer. (-20) Tina has silicone implants. (-80) HER BIRTHDAY You take her out to dinner.. (+2) You take her out to dinner, and it's not a sports bar. (+3) Okay, it's a sports bar. (-2) And it's all-you-can-eat night. (-3) It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team. (-10) A NIGHT OUT You take her to a movie. (+1) You take her to a movie she likes. (+3) You take her to a movie you hate. (+6) You take her to a movie you Like. (-2) It's called 'Death Cop.' (-3) You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15) YOUR PHYSIQUE You develop a noticeable potbelly. (-15) You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it. (+10) You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts. (-30) You say, "It doesn't matter; you have one too." (-8000) THE BIG QUESTION She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you lose points no matter what] You hesitate in responding. (-10) You reply, "Where?" (-35) Any other response. (-20) COMMUNICATION When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression. (0) You listen, for over 30 minutes. (+50) You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV.. (+500) She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep. (-4000) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcarter Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 Wow, I'm in deep! Does anyone know if they have a company to help pay your debt for this. I'm going to need some help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scirocco38s Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 I need a loan to get back to zero, what is the interest rate? anything below 15% is acceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry White Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 (edited) I'm well into major factor(thats minus 165000 +++). I fear that even with perfect behavour I will never make minor again. Oh well, sh%* happens.------------Larry Edited July 18, 2007 by lkytx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 dajarrel, maybe I need to come to Alabama, I have NEVER been where I can get on the positive side. There has never been any way that you could gain points. maybe stay even, but never be on the plus side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 I was snickering by the time I got to "pummel it with an iron rod" and laughing out loud when I reached "Tina has silicone implants." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSEMARTIN Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 How many points do you lose if you forget your wife's birthday? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ima45dv8 Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 How many points do you lose if you forget your wife's birthday? The little chalkboard used to keep score gets broken over your head! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcarter Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 How many points do you lose if you forget your wife's birthday? Try forgetting your anniversary! DON'T EVER DO IT! You don't want to know the score on that one. And no it wasn't me but I had a buddy that did. Come to think of it I haven't seen him since.......Oh, no......you don't think she......? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 (edited) The point I had reached made it easier to get a divorce, and cheaper too. The number of candle light dinners, chick-flick movies and bouquets of flowers I would have had to buy to get back to even, well, the lawyer fees and half of my assets was the good business decision Edited to add: Getting caught with Tina with the silicone implants is negative infinity!!!! Edited July 18, 2007 by zhunter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokshwn Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 Mistakenly calling her Tina........see jewelry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidball Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 All points earned on any given day are wiped clean at the end of that day and you start the next day at zero. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 All points earned on any given day are wiped clean at the end of that day and you start the next day at zero. Did/do you know my ex-wife??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hitman Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 In an effort to help the male race I have just started a company that sells points. Its just like Als carbon credit. You buy points from my company and we transfer them to you spouse / girlfriends account. The best thing about doing buissnes with my company is that we have developed non expiring points so you can start digging yourself with out the worry of having your points zeroed out on a daily basis. This is a limited time offer Operators are standing by Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 In an effort to help the male race I have just started a company that sells points.Its just like Als carbon credit. You buy points from my company and we transfer them to you spouse / girlfriends account. The best thing about doing buissnes with my company is that we have developed non expiring points so you can start digging yourself with out the worry of having your points zeroed out on a daily basis. This is a limited time offer Operators are standing by I am so glad I don't have to worry about this stuff any longer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtypool40 Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 Due to a binding settlement agreement I am not allowed to post in this thread. but I could burn this one down, trust me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 Due to a binding settlement agreement I am not allowed to post in this thread. but I could burn this one down, trust me. I can only imagine!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 All points earned on any given day are wiped clean at the end of that day and you start the next day at zero. Did/do you know my ex-wife??? Just as in business Z...800 atta boys get you lunch with the boss while 1 aw sh*t cancels all the atta boys to date....and start fresh each day...BTW...did I work for your ex wife.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 Due to a binding settlement agreement I am not allowed to post in this thread. but I could burn this one down, trust me. don't hold back DP, we want, no demand to hear it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtypool40 Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 Sir, that is it's own spin off thread I'll begin compiling.... ...sort of a cross between the "infamous" latina thread and this one. Besides, my therapist says I shouldn't keep it all bottled up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ima45dv8 Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 Besides, my therapist bartender says I shouldn't keep it all bottled up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtypool40 Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 there's a difference? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RePete Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 I hate to say this guys but we are rated from the day we're born. Even if you're gay. I think by the time we get married, we're a lost cause. My wife Lynn, who died a year ago, had me in the hole about 500,000 points after 15 1/2 years of a great marriage (I started with - 1,000,000 points), so get over it, we've lost with no hope of recovery. So my advice is - live life and love like ther's no tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlamoShooter Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 I was snickering by the time I got to "pummel it with an iron rod" and laughing out loud when I reached "Tina has silicone implants." They were Not Implants ...No no naww she looked like that in the 8th grade when we went to camp..... Band Camp Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38superman Posted July 18, 2007 Share Posted July 18, 2007 All points earned on any given day are wiped clean at the end of that day and you start the next day at zero. True. Unfortunately, negative points are never wiped clean. They carry over and accumulate. If you don't believe it, start an argument and you will hear about transgressions you commited in 1978. Especially if they involve Tina. Tony Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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