george76904 Posted November 16, 2013 Share Posted November 16, 2013 I nearly always make both monthly matches. Even with marching band and tennis. That makes it sound local. I have to drive 3 hours to the closest place and get a hotel. Well yes the range is only about half an hour away from the house, and my father and I are usually the ones setting up and running the matches. Which makes it easier to plan a schedule around the matches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jensey Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 I have the same problem a little, except I'm the woman. I spent the first 10 years of my marriage trying to make him happy by doing everything with him because he is not socially independent. He is more of a hermit, and would prefer me to stay home with him. We have three kids as well and I work fulltime. I finally decided that I have to be the individual I like to be or I would go crazy and lose myself. If there is a party I want to go to and he won't go, I go anyway. But I make sure it doesn't interfere with the kids and I balance it with time for him. As a result I have not watched TV in over a year. I sacrifice it to go do other things since I couldn't care less about TV. So pick your battles and prioritize what you really want to do. I shoot a match about once a month. The kids go with me (they think it is cool that Mom can shoot). It also helps if you encourage your spouse to do something for themselves as well. Maybe this Saturday is her day--she can go shopping with the girls or whatever she likes to do while you keep the kids. Then next week you can go shoot a match. I always encourage the husband to go golf or go to a ballgame, then I don't feel guilty shooting a match. And I spend a lot of time with my kids, so if I am away for one day, it is OK. I want the kids to learn that it is OK to take a little time for yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Round_Gun_Shooter Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 (edited) If you really want to learn to juggle, try being married with children and being self employed. Family and business cone first. As someone wrote, sometimes you just eat a match fee. I have learned to justify not going to a match I paid for by telling myself I saved the gas money and cost of ammo by working instead/ I am now at the point I don't know if I am shooting a match until I get out of bed and check messages. Headed to the range this morning to sight in my rifle for next weeks match and then going to a customer's house so she can have hot water and not have to take a cold shower Edited November 17, 2013 by Round_Gun_Shooter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve RA Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 It's like sex, they do it the same as single men, only less frequently !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FWSixgunner Posted November 17, 2013 Share Posted November 17, 2013 Well, what can I tell you, family comes first. Shooting competitions will be around, but the window in which you can prepare your children for adulthood and spend time with them closes extremely fast.. Sorry if this comes across as preachy holier than thou, but here's the lessons I've learned raising kids in two different households (not concurrently.) My last child at home is my 11-yo son, and I love spending time with him. He is crazy into sports: tackle football, flag football, wrestling, basketball, baseball, plus scouts. He played select baseball for two years (fall and spring seasons.) This mean't at least two practices or two games during the week and tournaments on the weekend, which consisted of two games on Saturday and at least one on Sunday, sometimes out of town, sometimes three games in a row on 100-degree days. We discussed it the other night and decided Boy Scouts was too much. He wants to focus on sports and spend more time with his Grandfather, who has cancer and moved in with us last year. Add there's private school tuition. It's all worth every penny and every second. Until my FIL moved in with us, my wife and I attended every single practice and loved it. He has learned discipline, the hard work required for success, leadership, and how to work with others. By the time he graduates HS, I will have spent 35 years raising children. I have two grown daughters who turned out very well, but I regret not spending more time with them when they were young. I was crazy into hunting back then and wish I had made the investment of time and guidance I am now giving my son. We joined a gun club earlier this year. Our first range visit,(the day after we joined) we took a cooler with drinks and snacks. As we sat at the picnic table eating sausage & crackers, I told him how I used to travel with my dad and we would stop at roadside picnic tables and eat lunch the same way. He said "now I'm living the dream with my dad." I think some dust blew in my eyes right then, and I had to blink a few times to get it out:-) Life just doesn't get any better than that! BTW, kids are absolutely fascinated with reloading. One look and they're asking to pull that ar. So to satisfy my competitive urge, I'm taking up IDPA and Service Rifle matches. Neither requires much monetary investment and are local. There's a local IDPA every weekend, mostly Friday nights. If you take the view that your children are "killers of dreams", you will live in unhappy resentment (been there!). My family deserves my best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mag17 Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Funny that this is a topic... Sunday's are my main days for shooting at the local competitions.... Mainly steel and .22 matches.... These definitely have helped in the skills but for right now I am recreational shooter by any standards... Focus for right now has to be family and work but the safe has enough toys.... It is a balance for the individual to make... I know several guys that have same age kids as me and they are shooting 3-4 times a week and they are fine with it... For me I choose to shoot matches when I can.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jensey Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 It's like sex, they do it the same as single men, only less frequently !!! This made me laugh out loud. My kids wanted to know what was so funny!! A wise man once told a groom to put a pebble in a jar every time they had sex during the first year. He then said to take a pebble out every time they have sex after the first year. He said the jar may never be empty again! Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redial Posted November 18, 2013 Share Posted November 18, 2013 Um, yeah. Fargin hilarious, said every husband ever. At least, as a shooter husband, I have a wonderful distraction to look forward to! Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rlv65 Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 As a father of two very active boys (school & travel teams in multiple sports), it sometimes felt that I was missing out on "my stuff". However, throughout their growing up, the boys' activities almost always took priority over anything that I had going on. In looking back, I am glad that I went that route. With them getting older, it is getting easier to fit matches in since they don't need Dad around as much. Also, you never know when that "last game" you're going to see them play in is going to be, but you don't want to miss it. One exception that I made was going to the 2008 Nationals when my oldest was an 8th grader. While I was gone, one of his good friends died in an accident. My son was asked to do one of the readings at the funeral. I was told by many that he was a "rock" - wish I would have been there to see it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatriotMac Posted November 19, 2013 Share Posted November 19, 2013 I'm new to competitive shooting but I do have a lot of experience in juggling family and a recreational activities with my many years involved in Judo. I dealt with the excessive time at the Dojo by getting my two sons involved and it actually increased our time together. My wife had no desire to actively do Judo but she spent time with us and the various clubs by taking on a role as a helper/team mom at matches and when travelling. My wife does have an interest in shooting ,just not competitively so I'm hoping she will take on the role of "logistics" again as my boys and I get more involved and start travelling for matches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneelingatlas Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 That's a special woman Mac, make sure to remind her of that periodically. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 After reading all of these heart wrenching posts I just want to say thank you. For reminding me that those dream killer days are behind me!! My wife and I both are pretty much right smack dab in the middle of the, "It's all about us" stage of our lives. Heck I even get to take a pebble out of the jar every once in awhile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motosapiens Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 It's like sex, they do it the same as single men, only less frequently !!! lol, this thread is now officially over. My son is grown now, but I was racing bicycles pretty seriously when he was young. If you care about your sport, and you care about your family, that's fine, you just don't really have time for any silly extraneous crap like drinking and playing golf and watching reality TV. Everyone *should* have enough time to something for themselves, but you might not have time to do 3 or 4 things for yourself if you have a family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatriotMac Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 That's a special woman Mac, make sure to remind her of that periodically. Well Said! Thanks for the reminder. After 28 years of marriage we tend to forget sometimes.... Will remind her when I get home today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatriotMac Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 After reading all of these heart wrenching posts I just want to say thank you. For reminding me that those dream killer days are behind me!! My wife and I both are pretty much right smack dab in the middle of the, "It's all about us" stage of our lives. Heck I even get to take a pebble out of the jar every once in awhile! Man I envy you! A few more years and the boys will be out of the house and I will have to find where my wife hid the pebble jar! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mag17 Posted November 20, 2013 Share Posted November 20, 2013 My boys are 9 and 11 and I coach both their soccer teams so that is a jobs for 2 nights and Saturdays - Fall and Spring seasons... Honestly I would not give it up because I know that when they get old, I will probably not see them (only if they need money or the car keys) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MetropolisLake Posted November 22, 2013 Author Share Posted November 22, 2013 I finally broke down and gave tons of heads up for the Rockcastle club meet this weekend, finalized everything quite awhile ago, been planning for over a month, ordered the last of my belt setup, got the rest of the ammo a few days ago, made hotel arrangements, etc. Thought it was good to go with no conflicts. Yesterday my daughter comes to me and says she has a honors society induction ceremony in the middle of the day, same day as the meet. It's just kind of ridiculous at this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redial Posted November 23, 2013 Share Posted November 23, 2013 (edited) . Edited November 23, 2013 by redial Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itlogo Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 (edited) That's why I'm getting my kids into shooting. Right now, my oldest is 10 YO and she's done a few steel matches with me. Eventually, she's going to do USPSA since that's what I mainly shoot, but she needs to work on her recoil control with minor 9. Instead of saying to the wife, "Bye Honey, I'm sticking you with the kids while I go have fun for eight hours," now I can say, "Hey Honey, I'm taking taking her out for father-daughter bonding time!" Edited December 24, 2013 by itlogo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 I finally broke down and gave tons of heads up for the Rockcastle club meet this weekend, finalized everything quite awhile ago, been planning for over a month, ordered the last of my belt setup, got the rest of the ammo a few days ago, made hotel arrangements, etc. Thought it was good to go with no conflicts. Yesterday my daughter comes to me and says she has a honors society induction ceremony in the middle of the day, same day as the meet. It's just kind of ridiculous at this point. Video is forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moltke Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 When faced with the choice between wife or shooting, go with what you love more and what will always be there for you. In other words, go shooting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 When faced with the choice between wife or shooting, go with what you love more and what will always be there for you. In other words, go shooting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mturnbull333 Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 I load and load and load, since I started shooting everybody in my family, my wife and daughter have decided that the shooting sports is for them also so they actually shoot more than I do since I work weekends twice a month. My daughter has really picked it up and ran with it she is a sponsored Limcat, STI, extreme bullets and take aim targets shooter, she shoots all the larger matches, A1,A2, uspsa nats,ipsic nats and so on so I kinda live vicariously through her. Just a thought, see if your family wants to be involved, my daughters only shot a year and loves it, she is only 15 and has decided to make this her future even wants to be a gunsmith and build custom guns. I know I get a much greater pleasure watching them progress than myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enroute Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Find a balance point through discussion; take the kids with and make it a camping thing, share child-care duty with another family at the range or campgrounds, Different kinds of planning have to take place making different priorities. Invite the wife with, so she can see you are not boinking another lead singer, and get comfortable with the fact she might say it's not for her at all which leaves you with another decision point. Sometimes it just plain sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joshxdm9 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Balancing play time and family time is a delicate dance. I am married with 4 kids ages 13-2. My 3 older kids are all involved in sports year around. I will never miss a game for a match. My wife is a stay at home mom so it is very difficult to leave Saturdays for 8 hrs to shoot a match when she is ready for a break:) my best advise is shoot when you can and when you are home make it all about family. There will come a day when there are no more practices and games and I know I will miss all of that when its done so when I miss a big fun match I think of that. I have an agreement with the wife 3 matches a month if sports allow and practice maybe once a week. I always try to plan for dinner out or something every match day when I get done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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