Range Stooges

[EricW]

Just when I thought inclement weather gave me the run of the rifle range and a couple hours of unabashed plate-blasting joy, my hopes were dashed when the three stooges (and a normal human in tow) show up.

Larry - Loads his "elk-rifle" completely, mag and chamber, sets it on the the bench, then proceeds to lead the herd downrange to place targets. I promptly called BS on that manuever and made them all clear their rifles.

Moe - Sees my AR and has to come over and bitch about what pieces of crap he's always thought AR's are and how Cowboy Action is the holy grail of the shooting sports. <insert YMCA track here> My response: 30 rounds of Whack! Whack! Whack! on the 200 yard plate rack. Moe doesn't talk to me much after that.

The stooges have never seen someone actually go prone before. For the stunned looks on their faces, I might as well be a pacific islander cannibal in a grass skirt with a bone through my nose.

Curly - After seeing my response to Moe, runs over and yells:

"What is that!"

"Huh?"

"What is that!"

"My rifle....?"

"Yeah! What is that!!"

It's a magic rifle you dumbass. Yup, that's right, it's all about the gun. Doesn't have a damned thing to do with practice. Didn't have anything to do with realizing I have no clue of how to shoot and starting down the road to rebuild my game from scratch. By the way, I'll sell you my magic gun for three grand. If you have $4K left over, I'll sell you my STI with the patented select-fire switch.

The normal human actually behaves himself.

Charles Manson makes a brief cameo, then retreats to one of the pistol bays.

Blessedly, the time for Saturday matinees arrives, and the stooges depart. While I'm shooting in the lull, Stooge #4 arrives . Of course, he puts his M4 Carbine on the bench pointed *uprange*.

Stooge #4 comes over while I'm policing my brass.

"Wow! Is that the <mumble mumble> super-commie-blammo-ammo you're using!"

"Uhhhh... no."

"Well, I saw silvery shiny stuff coming out of your gun and super-commie-blammo looks just like that."

I'm just totally clueless as to what this loser is talking about or why silver brass coming out of my gun has any cosmic significance, but oh well...

#4 tries repeatedly to snatch my nickel-plated brass (it's all the store had) out of my hand. I've become relatively possessive of my rifle brass after I got sick of coming up short because of some guy's punk kleptomanic kid stealing my brand-new brass at my old home range.

"Uhh...they're just reloads dude." I then relocate my handfull of brass out of range of his greasy meathooks.

<Insert 5 minute dissertation on how wonderful Super-Commie-Blammunition is here> Yawn....

Stooge #4 finally retreats to the bench, the hallowed home of the Range Stooge. Hitting the huge plates off the bench is very challenging for #4. After going 2 for 20, his rifle goes quiet.

Finally, some more normal humans show up. They of course, shoot their deer/elk rifles - you guessed it - off the bench only. (Aside: Where the hell are all these people hunting where the game stands contently at fixed ranges in front of bench rests? Obviously, I'm not hunting the prime locations.) I resist the urge to pull a Jehovah's Witness move on them and lure them off the bench and to the light. I proably will in the future, but am going to try and take a Hari Krishna approach to the problem.

I finish the day by shooting the 100 yard oil casing with the STI. Stooge #4 is totally dumfounded by 15 rounds of dink-dink-dink-dink... (The oil casing is 2' tall and maybe 10" wide - hardly a trick.)

Man oh man, you have no idea how much I want my own shooting range. That way, I can be the only weirdo there. This crap is just wearing me out.

[Nate]

gets old.

[ranger]

Wow, I have got that t-shirt, too. I thought you were describing the public range in the Wildlife Management Area in Richmond Hill, GA.

[D.Hayden]

This has to go into the "Best of EricW" thread...

(I think the Plane is still tops)

[EricW]

gets old.

Nate,

Yeah, I just re-read my post and I come off like a jerk. Sorry. It's just really frustrating. I get tired of babysitting when all I want to do is practice. I'll leave my apology for a bit then nuke the thread. I've vented. I feel better now.

Sorry,

E

[jhgtyre]

The stooges have never seen someone actually go prone before. For the stunned looks on their faces, I might as well be a pacific islander cannibal in a grass skirt with a bone through my nose.

I vote that no males so attired be allowed to shoot from the prone position.

-ld

[Nik Habicht]

Eric,

I get it. Loud and clear. Practicing for the nationals, I must have run into their PA cousins. After putting 10 rounds into the center of an IPSC target at 25 yards, as fast as I could see the sights, (8Alpha, 1 Charlie, 1 called Miss --- that turned out to be just inside the D zone) cousin drifts over:

"Wow, that's remarkable. How'd you manage to do that so well? Special gun/bullets?"

Me: "It's really simple. Pick one gun, place it under your pillow, sleep with it that way for five years, you too will be able to do this."

"Really?"

Me: "No. You'll have to practice a lot. " Ten minute discussion follows......

[Ron Ankeny]

EricW:

Your stooges are rank amatures. Thursday after work I went to the range to sight in my elk rifle (no kidding) and there were two guys at the benches just finishing when I drove up. They both headed downrange to the 100 yard line to check their targets as they waved me to go do what I needed to get done.

I proceed to drove to the 200 yard back stop to police some trash (I am kind of the volunteer caretaker). After I picked up the trash I retrieve a couple of targets and a staple gun. As I am stapling targets the bozo behind me cranks one off through his '06, the bullet hits in the bay floor about 50 feet to my right and 100 feet behind me. Sure made an interesting sound.

I very camly got in my pickumup truck, drove back to the benches, wrote down the vehicle description and plate number, then called the sheriff's office on my handy dandy fire/police radio. Turns out the guy is about half nuts and just got out of jail for assulting a police officer...the story gets interesting from here, but it's long.

On the bright side, a coule of hours later I fired one fouler and the first three shot group at 200 yards measured a little under .75 center to center.

[SiG Lady]

Don't anyone DARE nuke this thread or that post!! Cripes, Eric, when are you going to write us a book!!!??? Seriously!

However, I can't help but ask: Where in hell do you guys all seem to find these morons to shoot with that are so graphically described in post after post on this very forum...??!! I never--never--encounter such jerks at the indoor range where we sane people shoot here in Eugene. Gah!!

I have a feeling our local outdoor ranges might offer a wider range of behaviours than the indoor location, but that's only a guess. Even tales of shooting at the outdoor ranges locally have never returned such doofiness as what I'm hearing HERE.

[Ron Ankeny]

SiG Lady:

Frankly, I am not overly critical of people who think differently than I think, as long as they exercise good muzzle control. But there are a lot of people who seem to have learned how to handle firearms right out of the movies. It is pretty scary.

I think the most amazing stunt I ever saw was pulled off by a guy sighting in a semi-auto rifle. The guy would shoot, then put the rifle on safe with a round in the chamber, go to the front of the bench with the loaded rifle pointed at his belly, and proceed to drift the front sight over with a punch and hammer.

I watched some folks tossing clay birds with a hand thrower one afternoon on the trap range. They had a little kid, barely old enough to walk, standing on the line without ear or eye protection. Mommy would load her shotgun and stand there with her finger on the trigger, with the barrel pointed at the little kid's head. Once again the handy dandy fire radio came into play. I had the ignorant hillbilly arrested for reckless endangering. Public ranges that operate without supervision are visited by all kinds of people.

[EricW]

Ron,

It's for that very reason that when I go downrange, it's with a pistol on the hip and my rifle in the car or over my shoulder - and yes, it too is loaded. (Some rules were meant to be ignored.) [Foolish Statement Retracted]

SL,

It just ain't like Orygun here. The Spokane area is doper central, so guess what that does for the ambience. I miss Portland/Vancouver/Salem so much it ain't even funny.

Edited September 19, 2004 by EricW

[jnshapiro]

Geeze Eric, where do folks like that come from!??? I've often complained about the attitude of Cowboy shooters, to them! They don't understand. And that's what I normally shoot

And hunter...don't even get me started!

Fortunatly, the club I belong to has a range officer posted and I normally just go back to the Action Pistol range where I don't have to deal with that.

But there are days....

Joel

[Zak Smith]

From my previous range trip- as I'm driving up, the guy turns around and points his rifle straight at me.

From my 2nd previous range trip- Two younger guys, one lacking in muzzle control. I call cease fire, go down range, set up targets. As I finish placing the chrono in front of my bench, I see one of the guys carrying his pistol around. "So are we hot or what?!" Oh, they also like to shoot from 5' behind the firing line. I came to shoot, not RO.

-z

[diehli]

At the range that I'm a member of you have to have three current members sign your application form and attend a safety orientation before you get the gate combination. Only time I've seen people resembling what y'all are talking about is on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays when the range is open to the public. Even then, they don't stick around long as the ROs are range Nazis... god love 'em.

SL, you got lucky on your indoor range. Most of the time I can't stand the guys behind the counter, let alone the schmucks that shoot beside me. No more indoor ranges for me.

[rhino]

I've a fun story!

I was gathering brass near the berm with a buddy once (we had been shooting at seven yards) when suddenly we heard some odd noises. We heard what sounded like a "slaps" hitting the berm near us, followed by what sounded like a small cannon going off in the distance.

At first it didn't register what was happening, then we both realized that someone was shooting at us (or at least close enough that we needed to take cover). The rounds were hitting within 6-10 feet of where we were. In the interim between the shock and that realization, we looked up range and saw guy sitting in the shack at the 50 yards line with a long gun pointed at us, smoke rising from the muzzle.

When he saw that we saw him, he shouted, "It's okay, you can keep doing that. You won't bother me."

Then we looked at each other and hauled A** behind my minivan, which was parked about ten yards from the berm.

Eventually he stopped and we drove up range. When we got there, a bad thing got worse. The guy was shooting an old trap door Springfield in .45-70. And he claimed he was "sighting in," but that it was okay that we were down there because it didn't bother him.

It gets worse. Instead of a front sight on the rifle, he had an allen wrench attached near the muzzle with a hose clamp. I'm not joking.

It gets worse. When I reported the incident to the club president, he knew from the description exactly who it was. The guy was a convicted felon (some violent stuff too).

I'm just glad that our presence near the berm didn't disturb his fun. It could have been really bad if we'd been an inconvenience to him.

[John Dunn]

HOLY CRAP!

I've been swept before at a public range, but that stuff is flat out scary.

Ron, I'm going to need to hear the rest of the story at the special!

EricW, what I hate (or hated, since I haven't been to the range in town since I built my own) is when complete strangers approach me when I am practicing, don't bother to introduce themselves, and then want you to shoot their wonderful new ultimate defense gun (typically a Rossi, High Point, etc.) with their special handloads. I get the feeling I am supposed to let them shoot my limited gun in exchange.

I normally try to get the sense of whether they are clueless (majority) or salvageable (a potential IPSC recruit), so far I haven't recruited anyone this way.

It is a lot easier just to think you are good, than to practice hard enough to be good. And JSYK, I'm not saying I'm good, yet.

[TriggerT]

The one thing I have learned from having been highly involved in many different sports, is that there are idiots involved in all of them. I don't know why, but GOLF seems to really lead the pack. However, in golf you usually don't have to worry about the other guy causing you great harm.

[Ron Ankeny]

I had a loaded rifle with me. I wouldn't even consider doing something like shooting back at the guy. Being pissed off isn't grounds for employing deadly force. The guys who pack guns and badges for a living are more than happy to intervene in my behalf.

[EricW]

Ron,

I'm really happy you have a radio and people who respond to it. Wish I even had *one* of those. I'm very jaded by previous experience with North Idaho rednecks, for whom casual-homicide seems to the #2 sport after drinking and driving.

[Ron Ankeny]

EricW:

Holy crap dude, you were in Nothern Idaho and got out alive? Now I understand completely.

I think I would rather walk through the projects in DC with a three piece suit and a Rolex at 2:00 AM.

[SiG Lady]

"...Public ranges that operate without supervision ..." (Ron Ankeny)

I kind of attribute the problems to this very thing. We have LOTS of supervision (and assistance, should we request it) at The Baron's Den in Eugene. Members are screened and rules of the range are discussed in detail... and safety classes are regularly offered. We have superb employees who know what's what and are fun to shoot with in competition as well.

I cordially invite any of you--if you're ever zooming up (or down) the Interstate-5 in south Eugene (the 30th Avenue exit) to drop in to plink a bit at this classy little range. The range folks will call me if I'm not there (just mention my name) and I'll host you a free visit for the day. And take you to lunch (at the Irish pub up the street). I'm serious. And the local huge Harley-Davidson dealership is two doors down, too. Good concept.

Yes, the fees are a little high at TBD, but it helps keep the range doors opens AND perhaps even discourage the 'stray dog' types from hanging out there. Yes, I guess I'm lucky.

[EricW]

EricW:

Holy crap dude, you were in Nothern Idaho and got out alive? Now I understand completely.

I think I would rather walk through the projects in DC with a three piece suit and a Rolex at 2:00 AM.

Ron,

The same drunk rednecks in the pickup truck tried to run you over too?

I've never felt the same about the woods in N. Idaho since they legalized murder during hunting season. Probably about a decade ago, some guy killed an older couple who were out walking through the woods - with two, separate, deliberate shots - because he claimed he thought they were bears.

The State of Idaho completely exonerated him (If I recall correctly, he wasn't even charged with a crime).

[h4444]

This stuff I exactly why I quit frequenting public ranges.

I'll stick to the private clubs/ranges and let this kind of idiot continue to endeavor to join the ranks of darwin award recepients.

I know not everyone has a private range or club in their area, so please don't think I'm disparaging anyone who does have to use public ranges.

I'm fortunate enough to have facilities available that I can use and minimize my contact with the mentally deficient.

H4444

[JD45]

Okay, the Idaho thing is sort freakin' me out now.

In the early 1990s I spent a summer in central Idaho. I made a few goods friends that summer, but a bunch of people would give me a strange gut feeling. Looking back now, I think that I made some unwise decisions while in the back-country (put myself too close to strangers).

But man it is beautiful country. Is there a boundary line for the psychos? Is the Middle-fork infested too?

[Ron Ankeny]

LOL, we shouldn't be picking on Idaho, we really shouldn't. The state is just beautiful and it is infested with some of the nicest folks on the planet. Heck, some of our forum members are from Idaho and they are great guys. Then there are those folks with the .50 BMG sitting on the porch waiting vigilantly for the black booted thugs from the BATF, shaved heads, white hoods in the closet... Just kidding.