I hate family BS

[mace85]

My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years, we recently got engaged. Lets set up the story. She has an older brother and sister to he fathers 1st wife (lets call her wife 1), she is the child of wife 2, and he is now married to wife 3. Wife 3 is a chronic alcoholic and a piece of freakin trash. She is not fit to walk the earth with the rest of us.

Lets explain:

Wife 1 and associated kids hate Wife 2.

Wife 2 will be the mother in law.

Wife 3 is a piece of shit. and hates Wife 2, but oddly enough loves Wife 1.

Ok so her father in a very intelligent man. He is quite successful and does very well from himself. Although looking at him you wouldn't assume so. He is not one of those people that ooze arrogance. He seems like an average everyday guy. Except he had a long standing affair with wife 3 while my girlfriend was aware. He made her hide it from her mom (he was married to her at the time, affair lasted 10 years). Having been witness to her dads affair and being told to lie to her mom messed with her for years. She is now just only getting over it. The mistress in now wife 3. His son is a turd. He has had everything handed to him, he is nice to your face but doesn't mind rolling over you to get where he wants to be. Dropped out of a few colleges on his all expense paid trip. He is only sucessful because he is smart and lucky. Her sister is a bit of a loon. Do not even know what her issue is.

We just bought a condo and moved in together about 7 months ago. We never would have been able to without his help. And we expressed over and over again how greatful we are. Now to put this in perspective. He paid for his other two kids to live, along with their significant others. And by paid, I mean PAID all expenses home, board, school, fun money 100%. They never worked. They are in their mid 30's, and this shit still goes on. Now granted the work now, but this is a new development. On contrast we both go to school and work full time and still manage to get by. Heres the part that really hacks me off.

We are now in the wedding planning stages. When we were engaged for 2 weeks she goes to babysit the brothers kid while they go out on the town and have fun (again). The only time him and his wife speak to us other than family functions is when they need someone to watch their kid, which usually is more often than not. Well this particular time she clearly explains to the that she has to be at work at 0700 the next day so she would appreciate them being considerate. Which they never are. Well at 0230 they arrive home....drunk. But before she leaves they proceed to harass her for her an hour about getting married. Simply because it will cost her dad money. They are afraid that wife 2 will use this as a way to drain cash from him to put in her pockets.

What really pisses me off is that this line of bull shit comes directly from Wife 3. The worst part is that before this issue she was beaming about being engaged. But now it is almost depressing. Her dad doesn't feel this way. I know, I talked to him, he is happy as hell and not worried at all. But I also explained to him that is this the way the family acts 2 weeks post engagment then they can count on an out of state wedding and that entire side of the family being written out. I can't stand how the family does things to her just to screw with her head because they hate her mother. I would think that people would eventually grow up. But I guess I was wrong.

Alright guys, this shit is killing us. What the hell is left to do? The family members are holding each other accountable for their fathers stupid mistakes, and not being able to keep it in his pants. But the constant fighting over HIS money and the constant attempt to get us involved and pick sides is such a pain in the ass. Personally I don't care if he decides to help with the wedding or not. We will adapt and overcome. I am just tired of our personal lives and finances being the gossip material of the family. None of this is any of their damn buisness.

SCREW EM' !!

Edited November 26, 2007 by mace85

[Kingman]

call JERRY

[ima45dv8]

Dad seems OK with it. Screw the rest of 'em.

Those that love and support you and your lovely finace will embrace you. Those that don't, won't. They're not worth the effort to turn your head to spit at them.

[AlamoShooter]

I long time ago I had a girl friend ..long time ago.. she had a son and a ?husband? seperated. he was not a good person

she was going to go back to him "I put things in prespective for her"

"Act the way you would want your kids to act" Do what you would want them to do.

She went back for her son

10 years later she found me by internet and sent me the nicest letter I have ever gotten other than my wonderfull wife.

What I had told her helped her in the years that came and to finaly get her life on track.

The son is was turning 17 and was just like his fauther = she could not stand to be around her own son.

Just put it to her What would you want your own kid to do.

Edited November 26, 2007 by AlamoShooter

[BrianH]

Call JAMES....I think people are violating his right to hate....

[ima45dv8]

5 posts removed:

"In a nutshell - Rebuttals are not permitted."

[Micah]

Sorry to hear about your family issues...but it sounds like you have what it takes to persevere.

[AlamoShooter]

What my Dad told me about my first wife,

!Run!

[Front Man]

5 posts removed:

"In a nutshell - Rebuttals are not permitted."

Sorry.

Voice of Experience.

[Flatland Shooter]

Though not as bad as you got it, we had/have major problems with my mother-in-law. The best thing we ever did was move a couple hundred miles away and start screening our calls with an answering machine. My wife still stays in touch with her mother, but as soon as my spouse lets her guard down, her mother does her best to start a fight.

Been this way for over 30 years, so I know it won't get any better.

Keep in touch with the family members that care. Keep your distance from those that don't. And keep your girlfriend close and happy. She is the only one of the whole bunch that really matters.

Bill

[ima45dv8]

There are in-laws, and then there are out-laws.

I've had both.

[mace85]

There are in-laws, and then there are out-laws.

I've had both.

They say the difference between in-laws and out-laws is that outlaws are actually wanted...

[Flexmoney]

Now that is funny.

[J-Ho]

What my Dad told me about my first wife,

!Run!

!Run!

That's funny...... My wife says that to me now.

I should have never taught her to shoot.

[JFD]

Run! is pretty good advice.

If you don't run, then realize you took his money like the rest of them so you may as well learn how to act like a member of the family and do it right.

The "RUN" option has a happy ending if you both run. It will eventually be a happy ending if only you run. Those are the only possibilities for a happy ending.

Otherwise you are truely up the creek without a paddle, which you know. I'd hate it too.

[Chills1994]

Mace85 wrote:

What the hell is left to do?

(tongue in cheek mode on)

The silent option:

Mace85 also wrote:

The family members are holding each other accountable for their fathers stupid mistakes, and not being able to keep it in his pants.

PM sent there, Mr Mace85.

(DISCLAIMER: this post was strictly meant as a tongue in cheek, to inject some levity to the situation kinda thing. I hope it worked)

[ap3]

My wife's mother left her alone at 13 to raise her sisters while she went off with her boyfrind to recapture her youth. Her mother also ignored the sexiual abuse that had gone on previously by my wifes grandfather.

When I met my wife she was 17 living by herself with the maturity of a 30 year old. Coming from a loving middle class family I had never known people like my mother-in-law. After we married my mother in law was always there working on my wifes head. She treated my great as I was a potential meal ticket. These kind of people are purely selfish and lack any ability for introspection, so achieving a balanced life with them is impossible. Fortunatly my career path required me to move around the country, so my mother-in-law and her new pervert husband could not follow us around. Everytime my wife would talk to her mother on the phone afterwards we would have a fight over something. Her mother was flat out poisen

It was not until my wife went to counseling that she was able to break the influence of my mother-in-law. You see what makes a quality person like my wife also holds them back from abandoning their family members. They are driven to do the right thing and want to make the family work, but they don't realize they are trying to work it out with parasites. I bet they guilt trip her every chance they get. I bet you two have arguements after her interactions with them when you try to point out the obvious. The Lord does not let us choose our families, but he lets us choose how much we hang around them.

My suggestion: 1) Move away 2) find a good counselor for your wife 3) Your girlfriend needs you because it doesn't sound like anybody in that family(including her Dad) really care about her, so be her rock 4) Get

some books on the subject and start figuring out how to handle them.

[Jaxshooter]

Print a copy of your post and put it up somewhere. When you reach 50 years old read it. Values and perspectives change a great deal.

[et45]

You ain't run yet?

[bountyhunter]

Alright guys, this shit is killing us. What the hell is left to do?

Learn the wisdom my mother and father told me:

"remember, son... you don't just marry her, you also marry HER FAMILY."

If you can't deal with them now...... picture dealing with them for the next 40 years.

BTW: My wife (then fiance) told everybody we were getting married and her mother promptly told her that she would have to come back to Lousiana and have the marriage in their Catholic church or the marriage would not be real in the eye's of God.

We didn't, her mom didn't speak to her for five years (OK with me). She still doesn't speak to me and we have been married 25 years.

Just don't delude yourself into thinking these people will ever get any better. As horrible as it sounds, they are probably being "polite" now because you arent' married yet.

[AlamoShooter]

What my Dad told me about my first wife,

!Run!

... ... There must be ..50 ways to leave with your lover , Grabber her by the hand Stan , Hop on a Bus Guss. Get away form her "Clan Man" ....Just get Your Selfs Free

[Heavy Metal Only]

move to another state

[mace85]

My suggestion: 1) Move away 2) find a good counselor for your wife 3) Your girlfriend needs you because it doesn't sound like anybody in that family(including her Dad) really care about her, so be her rock 4) Get

some books on the subject and start figuring out how to handle them.

Appreciate the advice....

Just points 2 and 3 cracked me up....kinda reminds me of; "To our wives and our lovers, may they never meet."

[ap3]

My suggestion: 1) Move away 2) find a good counselor for your wife 3) Your girlfriend needs you because it doesn't sound like anybody in that family(including her Dad) really care about her, so be her rock 4) Get

some books on the subject and start figuring out how to handle them.

Appreciate the advice....

Just points 2 and 3 cracked me up....kinda reminds me of; "To our wives and our lovers, may they never meet."

oops, sorry about the bad grammer skills. It is funny when you read it that way.

[turbocomp38s]

Kidding aside. You need to call or write Dr. Phil. Sorry for you to deal with family issues. I have only one mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law but they are a handful everytime they come and visit us here. The worst thing about this is they usually stay here for a minimum of three months and they always ransack my place.