I Love My Job!

[Scout454]

I LOVE MY JOB . . . . . .

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma! This

is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad day at

work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He

performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio

station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a

worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling

down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you

to make you realize it's not so bad after all .

Before I can te ll you what happened to me, I first must bore you with

a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit

to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite

cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered

industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the

water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.

It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is

taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've

used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose

and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit

with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to

itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from

my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my

suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't

stick to it However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the

jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His

instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other

divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing

in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could

reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived

at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down

his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as

I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was

swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it

would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

[al503]

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was

swollen shut.

[Gameplayer]

OUCH!!!

[DJPoLo]

Heh. A funny story. Probably not true. But a funny story nonetheless.

-Chet

[Chris Keen]

The next time my boss gets on my ass, I'll try and remember this story.

[SiG Lady]

AAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

(She says sheepishly, "I really DID have a bad day today (you don't wanna know) but I think I'll just shut up and keep pedaling.")

[Precision40]

Having been a commercial diver in the gulf, I can say that story is funny, but totally false. Our hot-water system was the same system we used in our showers, water faucets on the boat.

What's worse that being stung in the rear by a jellyfish is having to relieve yourself in your wetsuit and then having to stay in it through 2+ hours of decompression

[IronEqualizer]

Having been a commercial diver in the gulf, I can say that story is funny, but totally false. Our hot-water system was the same system we used in our showers, water faucets on the boat.

What's worse that being stung in the rear by a jellyfish is having to relieve yourself in your wetsuit and then having to stay in it through 2+ hours of decompression

DOHHH.........I'll bet the dry cleaners hate you.

[Jim Norman]

Many years ago, I was teaching some friends how to water-ski in the Chesapeake. I was wearing a "Life Jacket" and a pair of cut-offs. What I'd do is get the person up they'd circle around, drop them back and I'd run the next, or as was more likely, they'd fall, I swim over to where they went down and we'd start over.

If you have ever been to the southern bay, you have heard of sea nettles. Well, the wind shifted or the tides changed I really don't know, all I know is that I felt suddenly as if I were on fire. My father, running the boat, thought a shark had bitten me. I just about walked on water that day to get to the boat.

To this day, I can say I have never felt such pain. This was before it was common knowledge to use meat tenderizer to neutralize the poison.

The other thing I am forever grateful for was wearing a tight belt! That jelly fish got my chest under the life jacket, my arm and one leg. Only the belt saved me from a worse fate.

Now, I don't know if the diver story is true or not, it is possible to need multiple stops in a relatively shallow dive if you stay down long enough. Anything over about 30 feet has an upper limit on bottom time. 90 feet for example has a limit of 30 minutes. So if you have a couple hours at this relatively shallow depth, you could easily need some in water time before moving to a chamber.

We dove in water in the 40’s with wet suits. COLD! What we would do is pre-heat our suits with hot water, but that only lasts a short time. Warming the suit after you are in the water, without a surface supply of warm water does yield a pretty nasty suit. Cave divers I trained with had some way of using a condom with tube attached and slipping it through an aperture in their dry suit. Bad as warming a wet suit is, you really don’t want to do that in a dry suit!

What is worse than a sea nettle jellyfish are the box jellyfish or “Sea wasps” Those can kill you!

Jim

[Micah]

AAARRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

(She says sheepishly, "I really DID have a bad day today (you don't wanna know) but I think I'll just shut up and keep pedaling.")

You sound like you need a bit of cathartic release SiG Lady. Were you assulted by a man-o-war??

[shred]

I had a dive buddy get hit by a sea wasp about ten seconds after I got out of the water (he was holding the light on the ladder for me). Not a fun experience, though wandering around the hospital, such as it was, and a otherwise unpopulated ER in a wetsuit was interesting.

[SiG Lady]

Pharoah Bender my love, I had what you might've called "a kinda weird week" at the computer bench ALL week, but Thursday and Friday took the cake... Virtually nothing I worked on would boot up or behave. The phones were overwhelming (number of calls) and the NATURE of the calls for two days were from the Who-Let-All-The-Idiots-Out-of-The-Asylum category! It'd been ages (thank god) since I had a couple of days like that, and I'm STILL trying to recover from it. One of my colleages and I BOTH snuck out of the shop early because we simply couldn't stand it any longer.

Yes, "AAAARRGGGHHH!!!", she said.

[Micah]

Pharoah Bender my love, I had what you might've called "a kinda weird week" at the computer bench ALL week, but Thursday and Friday took the cake... Virtually nothing I worked on would boot up or behave. The phones were overwhelming (number of calls) and the NATURE of the calls for two days were from the Who-Let-All-The-Idiots-Out-of-The-Asylum category! It'd been ages (thank god) since I had a couple of days like that, and I'm STILL trying to recover from it. One of my colleages and I BOTH snuck out of the shop early because we simply couldn't stand it any longer.

Yes, "AAAARRGGGHHH!!!", she said.

My dear SiG Lady, I am truely sorry to hear that you have had a funky series of days. When it's all said and done though, you still have your looks and your class

[SiG Lady]

I'm just lucky it isn't like that EVERY day... or I would refuse to work there!!! It's goofy enough as it is most days, but most days I actually produce viable systems and get them out the door without a hitch. This past week was a cosmic disharmonic convergence of some kind.

BTW, I did a tweaking to your profile portrait. Let me know where to send it... We can actually see your face in it now.

[Micah]

Ms. Sig, it's funny that we were just talking about strage days @ work...I just booked in a punk that called me a cracker-a_ _...(rhymes with) "ninja".

Not really sure that you can be both...besides, he's way off

Edited December 11, 2006 by Pharaoh Bender

[SiG Lady]

Stupid punk!!! What do they know!!

[JFlowers]

SIG Lady, I know just how you feel. I just spent a three week run for one of my company's long term clients. One week jumping through the hoops to get my Work Permits (this was an out of country assignment) and two week figuring out what the problem was and proving it was a data entry/process issue and that the software was fine.

So what does the client do? They go to the Regional Sales Vice President and complain that they don't like the resolution! So now I am at another client (back in the US this time) and having to juggle the work I am being paid to do and the three and five page emails I am writing to the VP and above explaining what the client's problem is and why its not a software problem.

In the end it comes down to the silly fact that they are running the North American software (you know for the US and oh you can use it too!) and it is doing something to meet US legal requirements, something they just find annoying.

[MichiganShootist]

The jelly fish "event" reminds me of an "adventure" I had in Mexico.

Thanks to some bad fish tacos in Cozumel.....I got a case of spontaneous lower intestinal emptying.... A. K. A. "the squirts" while down about 30 feet wearing a wet suit.

That was in the 80s and I still break into a sweat when I hear the words salsa and fish in the same hour.

Edited December 11, 2006 by MichiganShootist

[Dustdevil21]

Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.

He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue ,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as

I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish stuck to your behind.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

[ken hebert]

Oldie but a goody.

[GrumpyOne]

This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a bad

day at work, think of this guy. Bob is a commercial saturation diver for

Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore

drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it

to a radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was

sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.__________________________________________________

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad

day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I

thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so

bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few

technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the

sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the

water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel

powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it

to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a

garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn

good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do,

when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it

down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.

It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of

sudden, my butt started to itch.

So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few

seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but

the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water

machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick

to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched

what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the

crack of my butt.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His

instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other

divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops

totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my

chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing

nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with

tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told

me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the

fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen

shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse

it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt. Now repeat to

yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."

[wide45]

Some days are better than others.

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[Flexmoney]

Merged.