benos Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I walk into a nice, local coffee shop, and order a Macchiato. The owner, in a really irritating, nasal voice, says - "Do you want that Starbucks style"? I'm thinking, I don't even know what that is, but I say - "I just want a shot of espresso with a dollop of steamed milk." She then tells me that when most people order a Macchiato they really want this thing Starbucks sells with caramel, whipped cream, and whatever. Great - what was once a classic, pure espresso drink is now known as some sort of caramel latte. So anyway, I enjoy my Macchiato and head on down the road. So the next day, I walk into another local coffee shop and order a Macchiato, with no thought towards the mornings hatred. And guess what - I get this gigantic whipped cream thing with caramel poured all over it. I stare in disbelief, and remark, as I feel the anger brewing - this isn't a Macchiato. The girl says - "Oh, I thought you wanted a Starbucks Macchiato." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 There's a goddamn' Starbucks on nearly every corner of every street here in Eugene, and their drive-up windows are jammed with SUV's ordering $6 drinks of dubious content. It's worse than ridiculous. I have a Starbuxx gift card from a friend (Christmas gift) and use it to buy their pumpkin scones (actually pretty tasty), and if you go thru the drive-up window they get upset if you don't verbally order the scone (even though it's not a gotta-mix-it-for-you drink)... it apparently messes up the order of things--whatever that means--if you don't actually shout into the stupid drive-up ordering machine (I hate talking to a sign).............. Sometimes I skip the talking-into-the-sign on purpose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cjblackmon Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 This makes me think of that Budwieser commercial "Real Men of Genius" Why do they call it a Latte? Because it cost a latte... I can never get my coffees straight either. If I go to Barney's it called one thing, if I go to Starbucks it's called something else, and the person always looks at me like a dumbass because I'm trying to order the right drink. How did we let Coffee get so complicated? Damn you Howard Schultz! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 And heck, the Starbucks name isn't even very clever...!! Many of our local coffee kiosks (the cool little independent ones) have clever names--kinda like peoples' boats: Thanks a Latte The Brewed Awakening Pony Espresso The Daily Grind ...and things like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I hate going into any chain coffee shop. Starbucks is the worst. I tried to get a large plain black coffee at a Bux a while back. When I asked for a Black Coffee. They said, You Mean An Americano? No!, A Black Coffee said I. That's an Americano they said. I said OK. They said Grande'? I said No, Large. They said that's a Grande'. I said that's enough and went back to work without an Americano Grande' Never been in one since and will try to keep it that way. Jeez, I just want a good cup of black coffee, what's wrong with calling it that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeorgeInNePa Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 (edited) I'm reminded of a Denis Leary bit... "Coffee doesn't need flavors, it needs a cup, maybe a saucer" Edited June 24, 2006 by GeorgeInNePa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n2ipsc Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I hate going into any chain coffee shop. Starbucks is the worst... Then you'll love THIS... And heck, the Starbucks name isn't even very clever... Not unless you've read Moby Dick... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AzShooter Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I asked for a small black at the LA airport. The server said "Sorry, we are all out of small blacks. Will this short puerto rican do?" So I ordered a coke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turtle Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Sometimes I skip the talking-into-the-sign on purpose I do this a lot too and for some reason I find it sooo amusing. I guess it's just one little way to stick it to the man... It just goes to show you what a perverted world we live in; even the poor little old cup o' joe has fell victim... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubberneck Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I hate Starbucks with a seething passion. Their coffee tastes like crap and I can't stand to wait in line for a simple cup of coffee for 10 minutes because some soccer mom needs to buy a $6.00 1200 calorie cup of liquid sugar that is barely coffee based. That and the fact that all the senior execs at Starbucks are big donors to anti-gun causes is more than enough to keep me away unless I am in dire need of a cup of Joe and they are the only alternative. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shred Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 When I was up at Area 1, I went to visit my brother. I got there early and figured I'd go grab some coffee. This being Portland, I figured there was a coffee place within five minutes in any direction. That part was true, but they were all Starbucks. Much better than nothing, but I had hopes for some local places. Anyway, my favorite is asking them "You still have coffee here, right?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricW Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I hate all sugared down coffee drinks. The reason they started sugaring down coffee is because most american coffee tastes like shit. And it tastes like shit for three reasons: bad beans, old beans, and dirty equipment. Drink good coffee and you won't *want* to put a bunch of crap in it to kill the flavor. Coffee is the one thing I miss about travelling internationally. Even Mexico has spectacularly better coffee than we do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimel Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 That's why I stick with the small indy roasters. Craven's is about as big as I will go anymore and then I stick with their fair market stuff as it seems to be fresher. Starbucks is swill. Seattle Best is Starbucks in a different wrapper. There is a guy here locally that roasts in his garage and produces some incredible beans. He sells at the local hippie haven (food co-op). Good stuff! On the way back from A1 I was in dire need of a cup. I went into a Starbucks, handed them my travel mug (from Liquid Planet, which caused a caustic comment from bozo behind the counter) and asked that they fill it with "house". They had a bunch of choices with names that sounded from light and foo foo to "dark black" (wtf...dark black is an oxymoron...right?). I asked for the "dark black". Well, apparently dark black means brew it four days ago, boil it down several times, add hot water and serve. The most vile mud I have EVER gotten at a Starbucks...or anywhere else for that matter. I made them pour it out and give me a different one that was drinkable. Not great, but drinkable. I usually travel with my own beans for use in the hotel coffee pot but forgot this time. Never again. And I am buying one of those cool insulated travel french presses from Liquid Planet (Cosmic Creations brand if memory serves). No more bad coffee!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gino_aki Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I can't say I hate Starbucks as I've never walked into one. Besides you can't drink anything else once you're hooked on fresh ground !00% Kona coffee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 We have indy roasters and sellers here in town and in the state. Very good stuff. Will take the top of your head off, some of it--but that's cool, too. Utterly delicious. I'm happy to pay a couple of dollars for one of their coffees (generous sizes, too) and know the money's going to pay some local person's payroll or the shop's rent or whatever. Full City Coffee in Eugene comes to mind...... Dutch Brothers in Oregon is another regional roaster that's going great guns here with drive-thru outlets (and discreet little decals for your car window that say "Powered by Dutch Bros."). Allann Bros. Coffee Co. is another local roaster. And several more....... All these little bistros and roasters, by the way, have been in operation for quite some time. That should tell you something, too. I absolutley LOATHE "additives" (milk, sugar, any other crap) in coffee. It totally, totally defeats the purpose of coffee. Yes, and I agree about the bad beans, poorly roasted beans, etc. I doubt sometimes that some brand-name American coffees are even roasted at all. They're foul, bitter, shallow... and have been for decades. Who'n hell are they fooling with their fancy advertising and all??!! Oh, and the PRICE of Starbucks ground coffee in bags... WTF??!! $12 or so a pound???!!! That's a lot of ammo... or burgers... or petrol. Gah! I also noted some time back that a lot of Starbucks's coffee types seemed to taste rather alike.... Hmm?? Someone gave me some Bux coffee for Xmas and it tasted just like some other flavor of Starbucks coffee I'd had the month before by a different flavor name. Hmm?? Overpriced, overhyped, and thoroughly questionable. Bleh. I do like the pumpkin scones, though. But I bet Starbuxx isn't baking them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shooter Grrl Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Sheesh you guys... spend 2 years in the outback wild of Tennessee where folgers is the best coffee you can get and you'll fall down to your knees and weep at the sight of a Starbucks! Trust me on this - I've been there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Kath, you can always requisition some decent ground coffe (or whole beans) from one of your friends here in the Northwest (ahem, ahem) and we'll be glad to send you some GOOD stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cjblackmon Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Yeah but you have to admit, Starbucks has taken the coffee business by storm. Howard Schultz capitalized off a great idea from all of the Seattle Coffee afficionados. Who would have ever thought about 15 years ago that the opening a coffe shop and charging five bucks a cup would do so well? Between that and the popular sale of bottle water, it just baffles me. I think about it everytime I buy both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rishii Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 I can't say I hate Starbucks as I've never walked into one. Besides you can't drink anything else once you're hooked on fresh ground !00% Kona coffee. +1 there is a bad ass coffee co. thats kind of on the way to the range. 100% pure kona necter. funny thing, the owner told me he makes way more money from t-shirts than his coffee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricW Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 The best coffee I've ever had is from a company called K&F in Portland, OR. They don't do retail, but their stuff is so good, I was seriously thinking about private labeling it. Now that Costco lowered the grade of their beans on their in-house roasted coffee, I may end up doing that just to finance my habit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimel Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 For those so inclined, unroasted beans and a roaster can be purchased from several places online. You can play with your own roasts and blends to your heart's content. http://www.williamsbrewing.com is the one I recall off the top of my head. Coffee brewed with beans roasted a couple minutes ago is a totally unique experience. I have enough hobbies so haven't gotten into this one but a friend of mine did. Wonderful stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
George Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 My favorite coffee variant when I can find a real coffee joint is to request 3-4 espressos in one large cup. I then add some 1/2 & 1/2 until the color gets to certain point and BAM! I call the concoction JP4. One will get you where you are going ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam B Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 The best coffee I have ever has was Kona Peaberry, which I am pretty sure they dont sell at starbucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nik Habicht Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 My favorite coffee variant when I can find a real coffee joint is to request 3-4 espressos in one large cup. I then add some 1/2 & 1/2 until the color gets to certain point and BAM!I call the concoction JP4. One will get you where you are going ;-) Funny ---- that's my asthma remedy, when I'm dumb enough to leave the inhaler at home.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 Brian, I strongly advice you to take a holiday here in Italy, then I'll be able to teach you about the uncountable variations of coffee (and I mean real one) we can serve. Just a hint: Espresso (normal) Espresso doppio (double espresso) Espresso lungo (long espresso) Espresso corto (short espresso) Espresso macchiato (well, you already know this ... ) Latte macchiato (basically an espresso macchiato served in a tall glass with lotsa more milk) Marocchino (similar to espresso macchiato, served in a short glass, topped with cocoa powder) Espresso shakerato (shaken espresso with ice rocks, great in summer time) Espresso alla Vaniglia (same as above with an added taste of vanilla) Well, I guess I should stop here, not wanting to give away all the secrets of a good italian coffee ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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