I Have No Idea Why I Am "here"

[EricW]

I've been thinking about this for a bit, but somehow tonight's mondo suicide mountain bike ride and subsequent beer-a-thon got me to thinking again. I don't know if the following makes any sense, but it certainly makes about as much sense as me buying a pallet of bullets.

I have no idea why I'm shooting anymore. The desire for proficiency is what got me into IPSC/USPSA, but somewhere along the line my motivation changed. There was no active decision on my part - it just happened. It's not because I suddenly feel like I know everything there is to know, because every time I really start practicing, I feel like I know less.

The simplistic explanations don't really cut it. "Fun, competition, cameraderie, achievement..." None of it works for me anymore. I can't define it exactly, and I don't know if I want to.

Something happened somewhere along the line that transcended explanation. I'm not quite sure where I'm going. I don't know when I'm going to get there. All I know anymore is that there is some inner faith that if I keep at it that perhaps the destination and its subsequent meaning will reveal itself.

Ever feel that way?

[Dang It Dan]

Erik,

I understand, I think.

I have gone from Open, to Limited, to Cowboy (SASS), to not shooting at all. I did other things like motorcycles, fishing, but I still have a need or a want to be behind the trigger.

So for now I am happy to just shoot and not think about why I want to. I can tell you that I don't define who I am with each match, stage, shot, etc the way I used to. I don't get upset at myself if I screw something up and I'm not nervous anymore ( a sensation that I never thought I would never be without while I was on the line).

I have a good time shooting when I want to, and so that's it for me at this stage in my life. It's still better than walking away mad or upset.

Dan

[dajarrel]

Ever feel that way?

Who hasn't?

This is just my opinion. This life as we live it is just a warm-up for eternity. Everyone has thier beliefs in what an afterlife or eternity will be even if it is that you don't believe in an afterlife. My personal choice is the Judeo-Christian view of eternity and I have prepared for that. Yours may be different.

Set long term goals. I don't to mean to be getting into your business but you've got to have something to shoot for. (no pun intended )

My son is in his mid twenties and is in much the same boat. He can't decided what he is supposed to do. I remember the being in the same quandry. Everyone has.

And remember, the cheaper the beer, the worse the hangover is.

[Crusher]

Over the years while my goals have changed (as they often do) I still revel in one simple fact, while shooting I feel "at peace", life's stress and frustrations fade (sometimes only for a few hours). Others take solice in another sport or activity, one of my favorites is blasting and certainly one of my least expensive based on the relief from stress factor.

All work and no play/relief makes crusher very cranky and iritable, at least thats what my family says, and who am I to argue.

[andrewcolglazier]

When I shoot, it is for three reasons, not in order of preferance; First, because I desire some level of mastery at this chosen martial art. Second, because I value the friendships I have made along the way. Third, because I treasure those few seconds of clear-minded concentration which allow me to forget everything, everything, and just watch and enjoy.......

Andy C.

[Bigbadaboom]

Maybe this is the reason.

[andrewcolglazier]

Maybe this is the reason.

"Those who had handled the gun put in about three times as much as the others — 13 grams on average, which is a lot," said Tim Kasser, one of the authors. He worked with Francis McAndrew, also of Knox, and Jennifer Klinesmith, a former student who had the idea for the study, due to appear in Psychological Science.

Critics of research linking guns to aggressiveness have argued that people who handle guns in experiments tend to act out or think violent thoughts simply because they sense the expectations of the experimenters. The same could be true of this study: the students might have perceived the nature of the study, consciously or not, and acted differently.

Yet the aggression was not entirely psychological: the higher the peaks in testosterone, the more hot sauce the students dumped into the drink. And once they learned the real aims of the study, several were disappointed that their cocktails would not be served to a fellow student."

Or maybe guys with guns just like hot sauce and feel others should too. Sometimes what you see is what you get. Hope they didn't get any grant money for that experiment!!

Andy C.

[PaulW]

EricW I am with you man. My life use to revolve around shooting and USPSA competition. After back surgery, a marriage, my mom passing away, my wife grandparents passing away, and other things that life throws at you I just don't know if I have "IT" anymore. I'm not sure why I am still at it. I've taken breaks and other things interest me now but I still shoot. Florida State match was my worst ever, area 6 did not get much better. I heard a saying the other day "The older I get the better I was". Seems fitting. But I really don't care about being good anymore. I know I have lost the edge somewhere. A buddy of mine use to say I have a killer instinct and was so competitive it was not even funny. Now I just kinda play the part of a shooter. My concentration is nowhere close what it was and my shooting skills are far less than in the past. Accuracy has gone to crap and I believe I lack the discipline to be patient enough to make each and every shot.

Where this leaves me and what the future holds I have no idea.

[Flexmoney]

I was, just recently, having a discussion of goals with another shooter. More to the point, a discussion of the pay value* of an activity.

[* Pay Value being a term borrow from Lanny Bassham.]

[carinab]

Something happened somewhere along the line that transcended explanation. I'm not quite sure where I'm going. I don't know when I'm going to get there. All I know anymore is that there is some inner faith that if I keep at it that perhaps the destination and its subsequent meaning will reveal itself.

Ever feel that way?

Yup, noticed it about the end of the first year when I started shooting. People may disagree with me, but to become a better shooter, I think you have to become a better person. To advance, you have to be willing to look at your weaknesses and have the discipline to fix them - mental as well as technical. Once you realize that the lessons in the micro-cosm of shooting can be applied to the macro-cosm of life, you start down the path of self-actualization. Then comes the questioning of everything and everyone...a giant WHY? Perhaps on some level this is what's happening for you....Or not, maybe it's premature mid life crisis... The sensai at my dojo has a great little saying, "Don't worry, it won't be alright but that is okay."

[geezer-lock]

One year ago today I cobbled together a piece in "Mental Conditioning" taken from Feerless Golf, that contained this:

"What shooters of all abilities must come to see is that maximizing your potential in shooting—the truest of all shooting goals—begins and ends with one requirement: You must learn to effectively deal with fear, to embrace its challenge to your skills and to overpower it so you can think clearly and effectively and shoot your best. Anything less invites the insidious decay of doubt and inconsistency."

David C

[BritinUSA]

I going through this to a certain extent as well. Shooting used to be about the competition, now it's an escape from stress and a lousy job.

I do seem to get fired up for big matches (but its usually too late to do any good at them).

The whole winning thing just doesn't seem to matter any more, it seems so trivial compared to the whole eternity thing (which is pretty big, in fact it's infinite )

[Loves2Shoot]

Where else would you be if you were not "here?"

Most hobbies/sports are pointless if you look at them "logically."

They are something else entirely if you want them to be.

[iweiny]

People may disagree with me, but to become a better shooter, I think you have to become a better person.

I don't know if this is true or not, but I know I have become a better person as I have become a better shooter. Perhaps one leads to the other, perhaps not.

Ira

[EricW]

I didn't mean to imply that I don't care about progressing. I had a few absolutely gawdawful performances to start out the season. But then...all of the sudden....I shot some of my best times ever at steel and did a few more things better than I ever have before. My reload isn't perfected yet, but I now feel like I *understand* it.

Dryfire used to totally bore the hell out of me. Now it's interesting. I can see nuances through an hour or two of dryfire that maintain my attention throughout the process. That just didn't happen six years ago.

So, I'm not quitting. Far from it. In the beginning, I had this simple goal of more proficiency. Then my goal changed to wanting to be the big kahuna. I still want to progress, being a big kahuna would be nice, but certainly isn't necessary to keep me at it.

There's something else propelling me on and damned if I know what it is much less can explain it. It's not quite to the level of a voice from a cornfield telling me to go build a baseball diamond, but it's similar. It's affected other parts of my life as well. I'm making decisions and choosing paths based on some weird vibe more than reason. My friends and family think I've gone completely off the deep end, but somehow, someway I know it's the right thing to do.

I've reached this weird crossroads in life where I seem to be totally unable to verbalize why I'm doing what I'm doing but intuitively I know I'm on the right path and I'm just following my nose and going.

Something very good may happen tomorrow. Think I'm going to just flow with the vibe and see where it leads. What the hell. Everyone thinks I'm nuts anyway.

[Lycanthrope]

I've reached this weird crossroads in life where I seem to be totally unable to verbalize why I'm doing what I'm doing but intuitively I know I'm on the right path and I'm just following my nose and going.

For those of use who have felt that, you gotta know that at this moment, you are sooooo far from lost that it's absurd.

Drop the "logic". Have faith in your gut.

Going with what we "think" is right over what we "know" is right gets a lot of us in trouble.

[Bruce]

There does not have to be a reason, to everything. Some things we just find, and they later seem to just be a point in the trip not a destination.

[benos]

There's something else propelling me on and damned if I know what it is much less can explain it. It's not quite to the level of a voice from a cornfield telling me to go build a baseball diamond, but it's similar. It's affected other parts of my life as well. I'm making decisions and choosing paths based on some weird vibe more than reason. My friends and family think I've gone completely off the deep end, but somehow, someway I know it's the right thing to do.

I've reached this weird crossroads in life where I seem to be totally unable to verbalize why I'm doing what I'm doing but intuitively I know I'm on the right path and I'm just following my nose and going.

Something very good may happen tomorrow. Think I'm going to just flow with the vibe and see where it leads. What the hell. Everyone thinks I'm nuts anyway.

That makes a lot of sense to me. Nice post.

Often the initial drive's impulse conceals the destination. Thinking back on my purest childhood activities, I realized something about myself. Day after day, month after month, year after year, all I liked to do was "walk the creek." The same one. Then one day, after repeating the "same" walk for several years, I got it - what excited me is that I never knew what I might see around the next bend.

I don't know if that will make any sense to you.

Dryfire used to totally bore the hell out of me. Now it's interesting. I can see nuances through an hour or two of dryfire that maintain my attention throughout the process. That just didn't happen six years ago.

But after reading that I'm wondering if it might.

be

[AikiDale]

All I know anymore is that there is some inner faith that if I keep at it that perhaps the destination and its subsequent meaning will reveal itself.

Shooting has become a "Way" for you. It is how you discover yourself. When the shot is not perfect, your imperfections are revealed to you. As you practice you purify yourself. As you perfect yourself the shooting becomes more means than end. In Japanese it is called 'Do' (pronounced 'doe') or Michi. A path or way. In Chinese it is known as the Tao.

The way of the pistol.

[Bigbadaboom]

People may disagree with me, but to become a better shooter, I think you have to become a better person.

I don't know about that but I do know that it's "More Important" to be a better person than it is to be a better shooter. Once you figure that out and you realize that shooting just isn't that important, you begin to relax, and then you'll start improving quicker because of it.

[Chuck D]

When I first got started in this game 17 some odd years ago, I'd spend my last dime and 10 seconds of time trying to become as good as TGO.

As I got older, the intensity waned to where shooting felt like just "going through the motions."

One day you find yourself married and going back to college at age 35. Shooting takes a back seat to everything else regardless of how important it once was until....

You wake up one day and realize it's just you, the gun, the course of fire, and a few friends. No extra pressure, no drastic need to "win", only the desire to improve your own skills at your own pace in your own time.

Suddenly, the learning process is accelerated, you realize things you've never experienced before, you shoot better that you've ever shot before and the fun returns.

You round the corner....

[EricW]

I don't know if that will make any sense to you.

Dryfire used to totally bore the hell out of me. Now it's interesting. I can see nuances through an hour or two of dryfire that maintain my attention throughout the process. That just didn't happen six years ago.

But after reading that I'm wondering if it might.

be

It does. This process of learning to become a Shooter (capitalization intended) has really changed me and the way I look at life. The "visual patience" that is necessary to do well translates over to so many other things. It's a very powerful tool when wielded well. The last three days have been pretty amazing. A little more patience on my part will reveal whether it is tangible goodness or a mirage.

[Sam]

There is no destination, where else can we be if not "here"? There may come a time when my eyes can no longer see and my hands can no longer hold a gun. But, I will remain a shooter as long as I remain in this life.

A blind eagle with broken wings may not fly, but it's still an eagle.

[Ron Ankeny]

But, I will remain a shooter as long as I remain in this life.

Some things are inexplicable and inescapeable.

I was at the range yesterday blasting away with my Open gun in overdrive when a couple of old friends showed up. I stopped shooting and we visited. One of the guys told me he was still using the holsters I sold him 10 years ago. I asked what he was talking about and he reminded me about when I "retired" from PPC and NRA Action Pistol and told him I was out of competition and hell would freeze over before I would be that serious about shooting again. He concluded with, "Bet you wish you hadn't of sold all that stuff."

I plan on shooting IPSC as long as the local clubs are active and as long as I am able to handle the gun safely. I am here because of a passion for the shooting sports. No other explanation ios required.

[Sam]

I plan on shooting IPSC as long as the local clubs are active and as long as I am able to handle the gun safely. I am here because of a passion for the shooting sports. No other explanation ios required.

Yeah, I'm totally with you, Man!

But..... just on the outside chance that you ever decide to quit again..... can i PLEASE have dibs on the Les Baer?