Need Help With My Software

[Singlestack]

Can anyone help with this software problem?

Eighteen months ago I upgraded my system to Girlfriend 1.0

from Drinking Friends 4.2, which I'd used for years without any trouble.

However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the

only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

(**note** this only disabled the FreeSex features on Girlfriend 1.0) To

make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other

of my current applications, such as Guys Night Out 3.1, StripClub 5, and

Football 2.1.  I have tried successive versions of Girlfriend 1.0, 2.0, 3.0

without improvement.  After a brief trial with a shareware beta-program,

Party Girl

2.1, which had some good qualities, but many bugs and left a virus in my

system, which forced me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.0 and Girlfriend 2.0 at the same

time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they

caused severe damage to all my hardware. Sensing only one way out, I

upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to the more expensive Fiancée 1.0, only to discover

that this product has to be shortly upgraded again to Wife 1.0. So I did,

largely because, Wife 1.0 comes bundled with FreeSex Plus, Cook 6.0 and

Cleanhouse 2000 (UPDATE **I then discovered that these where only trial

versions**).  I quickly discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and

extremely costly to run. For example, any mistakes I made were

automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be fixed or

deleted, they then re-surfaced months later, causing the spam email

BrowBeat.htm to be sent over & over & over! Wife 1.0 can also, without

warning, launch Bitch 3.0 or Moody 5.4. These products have no help files

or patches and require you to try and guess the problem yourself.

Additional costly problems that came with the Wife 1.0 bundle, where Shoe

Shop Browser Pro, NailFiller Lite and Hairstyle Express which required that

they be updated every other week. It also conflicted with some of the new

games I wanted to try, Softball 3.0, Golf Day 5.8 and Quiet Weekend 3.0,

stating that they are illegal operations. IMPORTANT ***When Wife 1.0

attaches itself to CreditCard 1.9 program, it often crashes or runs the

system resources dry***.  Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called

Mother-in-Law 9.0, which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to

try the new Mistress 2000, but there could be problems, when Wife 1.0

detects the presence of Mistress 2000 it will delete all House 2.0 and Bank

1.0 files before un-installing itself. I have also heard that Wife 2.0 and

3.0 are not much better....  Any ideas?

[jhgtyre]

Install IPSC XP or, if you are one of THOSE people, IDPA 1.0 for OS X.  Run either program as often as needed to free up your system resources.  

[Scooter]

Good thing you didn't install Baby 1.0.  That program pretty much stops all other programs from working.

[Shooter Grrl]

There's only one cure - you just have to upgrade that Wife 1.0 to Shooter Grrl 2002.  

[EricW]

For anyone interested, I'm writing a new piece of communications software called Fe-Mail.  It takes your message, changes its meaning, then sends it to everybody.  

E

[Avalanche]

EricW has a point!!!

(Edited by Avalanche at 10:44 pm on April 4, 2002)

[PacMan]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included with the product information.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help! Thanks, A Troubled User.

REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. It is due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is merely a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.

Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest that you read the entire section regarding 'General Partnership Faults' !

(GPFs.) Your Wife 1.0 does a scan for GPFs during it's monthly program maintenance scan (PMS).

You must assume joint responsibility for any faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find that GPFs are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid excessive use of C:\YESDEAR because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Remember, the system will run smoothly as long as you share the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 (which replaces Burn It 1.0), and Do Bills 4.2.

You must, however,be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this happen.

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck, Tech Support

[SiG Lady]

Hmmm.... perhaps I'll write a version for the ladies.

That's hiliarious...! LOL...!!

[Matthew_Mink]

I've always liked that one...

[PacMan]

So far my Shooting 3.G program is still running without much interference from Wife 1.0 OS. I think the Diamond 5.0 patch is working well

[rhino]

Keep in mind that Flowers 2.1 must NEVER be executed after any sort of system error. If you do so, it will corrupt Wife 1.0 so that it enters an endless loop scanning for more errors each time Flowers 2.1 initializes again.

Only run Flowers 2.1 when the system is stable and running like a top!

[SiG Lady]

Sketchy ideas and possible cast of male characters...

Hubby ver. 1.0 OS

Single Shooting Buddy ver. 5.0

Married Shooting Buddy ver. 5.0.1

Co-worker ver. 4.3.1

FedEx Driver ver. 3.0

Random Neighborhood Hunk ver. 5.1

Cute Little RO ver. 6.0

Firearms Instructor ver. 5.5

Local Gunsmith ver. 6.2

Internet Buddy ver. 4.6.1

Local Gunshop owner ver. 3.0

...etc.

Compatible programs:

Discussion of Power Tools ver. 4.0.1

Discussion of Guns ver. 6.0

Reloading ver. 8.0

Gifts of Food ver. 7.0

Special patches for problem programs:

Glock Rehabilitation ver. 2.0

Engraved Glock Rehab (for tough cases) ver. 7.1

[diehli]

You guys are KILLING me!!!!

SL... AWESOME!!!

[Liota]

Sketchy ideas and possible cast of male characters...

Hubby ver. 1.0 OS

Single Shooting Buddy ver. 5.0

Married Shooting Buddy ver. 5.0.1

Co-worker ver. 4.3.1

FedEx Driver ver. 3.0

Random Neighborhood Hunk ver. 5.1

Cute Little RO ver. 6.0

Firearms Instructor ver. 5.5

Local Gunsmith ver. 6.2

Internet Buddy ver. 4.6.1

Local Gunshop owner ver. 3.0

...etc.

Compatible programs:

Discussion of Power Tools ver. 4.0.1

Discussion of Guns ver. 6.0

Reloading ver. 8.0

Gifts of Food ver. 7.0

Special patches for problem programs:

Glock Rehabilitation ver. 2.0

Engraved Glock Rehab (for tough cases) ver. 7.1

SIGLady,

Where do I find these fine products? Sounds like one of them might, with a little judicious use of Friendship 10.0, might be compatible with or run in the background with Husband 1.0.

Liota

[PacMan]

"Keep in mind that Flowers 2.1 must NEVER be executed after any sort of system error. "

Yes, I forgot about that one! I sometime executed the Flower 2.1 patch just to be sure that everything is hunky-dory and Wife 1.0 OS immediately went looking for "Operator Errors"

[h4444]

My version of Wife 1.0 is awesome......

The recent addition of child 1.0 has been great but added chaos into otherwise orderly system.

Programming child 1.0 hardly seemed like work at all. In fact you may even say that child 1.0 came as an undocumented feature of a routine maintenance cycle of Wife 1.0.

-----

Fun, fun, fun,,,,,,love my kid, she's awesome!!!!!

H4444

[tightloop]

What happens when wife 1.0 crashes irreparably after 31 yrs, and you seem to have lost the ability to find your patch to load the next release of Girlfriend 7.0. Do you just have to regress to using the oldest OS going and load Bachelor 1.0, with support from the Help Desk and by occasional use of Blind Date 1.0 thru 8.5 and just hope that the occasional use of Blind Date loadings don't corrupt the Data Base of Acquired Traits14.9 accumulated while running Wife 1.0 I know the rebuild to reach Wife 2.0 is a long road but is it worth the obvious system crashes along the way with their attendant reboots, or do you suffer with running the degradded version of Bachelor 1.0 or do you just scrap the entire thing and wait for some other technology which might replace Wife 1.0 entirely, such as Stripper 3.8 with its DD enhancements? This has been proven to really enhance Bachelor 1.0 in the short term but us usually very high maintenance and proves to be a short term patch or do you suggest the old standby of searching for a well used but at least partially operational version of Rich Widow 8.4 in hopes of running it till it crashes but enhancing your data base till it does?

On the maket now are some options, not all of them good ones but some that show some promise of at least some temporart fixes. They are in no order at all:

Buddy Fixup 1.8 (usually crashes soon after loading)

Single Mom 5.5 (usually has inherent operation problems and most times is encumbered with Do Loop programs Small Child 1.0 thru 5.0)

Internet Female Shooter 4.0.1 still in Beta Test

Bank VP 3.5

Real Estate Sales Gal 2.4, and finally

Horse Trainer 3.4

It's all so terribly confusing and laden with short term overhead, it makes you wonder if a working fix can be found or would it be better to scrap the entire project and load an operable version of Retirement 5.7???

Tech Support, Please Help.

[rhino]

You need to install SelfService v2.4c.

I finally realized Bachelor 1.0 wasn't working for me, so I installed Monk 5.1 over it. The system has the same stability, but with fewer popups. Much like Wife 1.0, the Monk series is usually a one-way upgrade.

I couldn't get Buddy Fixup 1.8 to run on my system. In fact, I can't even get the files downloaded!

Single Mom 5.5 is not compatible with my hardware, but under unusual circustances I might be willing to alter my setup.

[Skywalker]

TL,

whatewer road you decide to enter, if it ever happens you perform a low-level formatting to install a completely new software, be veeeery careful of using any version of Girl application software whose release is 16.0 or older, otherwise you might get into deep trouble.

Maybe you'd better search for a portable version of Girlfriend (again, watch out for the release version) that runs on a stan-alone platform, because it is well known that it might have father and/or relatives processes far more worrying than the children processes someone else mentioned here before.

[tightloop]

Attendant costs aside, I have presently loaded Stripper 3.8DD over Self Service 2.4c. While costly, it is running smoothly for now. Looking at trying a copy of Brazillian Babe 2.9 . My buddy has a really swell version, I think it is 2.7c and it is running flawlessly at this time. I have also tried Flight Attendant 3.3. Had to deinstall Flight Attendant 3.3 as it was also very high maintenance and I often got the prompt that it was Not Avaliable.

Monk 5.1 may be the best option in the long run, but will investigate the hot patches till funds preclude further field testing.

I looked at a very attractive copy of Executive Secretary 3.6, yesterday and am going to load the files tonight to see if it will run as indicated. This one shows great promise as there are no Do Loop programs running with it. Unknown if it will run in conjunction with preexisting Hunting, Fishing and Shooting subroutines, but am willing to give it a try. If it runs as indicated I may have to get a speed upgrade for my existing system, so there is less Down time between batches. I hear it is avaliable after market, and works well, but have not tried it. Tech Support has to authorize its use on older systems.

[kimel]

For those still running any version of Bachelor or Girlfriend: Be advised that you should install some form of anti-virus software. This is often best combined with anti-do-loop prevention software. Any version of Prophylactic provided it isn't too old and hasn't been carried in the wallet since high school is probably acceptable. You never know where the Girlfriend software was previously loaded and whether or not bugs have been introduced into the system and/or alien code inserted.

Also be advised that loading more than one copy of Girlfriend at a time which can cause "Wrong Name" errors. Be on the look out for these same errors in your copy of Girlfriend. I had this problem when I had College Coed 2.4 loaded and found it was also loaded by a number of other lads on campus at the same time as well as by Live-In Boyfriend 1.0! I had to do an emergency dump of CC 2.4 which was far more traumatic than it should have been.

Since loading Awesome Girlfriend 3.4, checking it with LikesGuns 2.8, and later upgrading to Wife 1.0 I have found my system to be much more stable.

[Patrick Sweeney]

Living here in a university town, I spent much time as a younger programmer beta-testing College Coed 18.0, C-C 19.0 and C-C 20.0 I also spent some time with C-C Mother, versions 36.0 through 42.0.

I however ran into several problems which proved most troubling:

Sometimes when testing C-C 19.0, I found conflicts with C-C Sorority Sister V. 19.0a, and had regular system conflicts Other Boyfriend 1.2 and Live-in Boyfriend 1.0. The C-C Name Loop patch never seemed stable enough, and always defaulted to the "sweetie" setting.

Most troubling were the C-C 18.0 through 20.0 Multi-operating-system conflict errors. Usually manifested via pop-up box declaring "I want to go back to my old C-C 19.0" the system crash usually required a re-boot via the application of Jack Daniels 1.0.

The most significant system crash, requiring a re-boot, J-D 1.0 in vast quantities, a Pacific Road Trip and change of address upon return was a catastrophic system crash involving a C-C 17.0 September Freshman Version, and a C-C single Mother V.39.0 FROM THE SAME BETA SITE!

However, the spectre of the Monk 1.-whatever option soon had me back in the saddle. (Figuratively speaking. Those rumors have never been substantiated, and the one person who declared possession of photographs has not been heard of for some time.)

[rhino]

I want to know where I can get Girl 18.0 or even 19.0-25.9 to run on my lap.

Top.

Computer.

[Loves2Shoot]

ROFL!!!

Rhino, you can always try the Phillapino vesion of girl 18.0 I heard they are a bit costly and only last 6 months to a year

I am very happy with my new Girlfriend 10.0 with the Loves Guns mod 4.5 If it keeps perforing "as is" I might have to pitch in for the Wife 2.0 upgrade

[kimel]

LTS...have you attempted the "Guns=Diamonds 0.9beta" patch on GirlFriend 10.0 yet?

I have tried that one on Wife 1.0 and get "file is of invalid type" errors all the time. I tried the 0.85beta version of the same patch and it turned out to be "NewGun=BuyDiamonds2" patch instead. Drat.

I suspect that if you can successfully apply this patch before upgrading to any version of Wife that it might stick.