family

[cyburg]

Ok, here is what has happened. I grew up in a militry family and My family has never been that close. My dad died in 2001 and I live a few states away from my mom and brother. My brother has always be jelious of me and only contacts me when he wants something. I call mmy mom every few.months.

Back in may I flew my mom out for the week and took her to the beach and so on. When she went thru security at the airport l asked her to call me when she got home to let me know she made it home safe. Well thY was in may this is September. My brother is also on Facebook as a friend, he sent me a message to call mom sometime she would like to hear from me. I told my brother I was still waiting for her to call me to let me know she made it home. Hell, she did my wife calls me a little while ago not have a problem calling everyone back home to talk to them, I think she spent.more time talking to them instead of talking to me and my wife.

This gets better, my brother was posting on facebook thY he was getting married in gatlenburg tn. He never invited me or called. My wife called me a little while ago and said he posted some wedding photos and left it at that. I checked them out and I see that my mom and her boyfriend and a bunch of other people were invited. I live three hours from there.

I am thinking about de friending him and other family members because the only time I hear from them is when they eNt something. I am tired of calling them to mOw contact.

What do you do, I'm glad my wife's family is close and we get along.

[hitman]

So how many Mothers do you have?

[cyburg]

Thats what my wife says

[tracker]

Thats what my wife says

Take the high road. Make the attempt. This way you can always say you did the best that you could do. I am no expert and believe me, I should use this advice more often myself.

[cyburg]

Thanks for the comments, its just so fustrating.

[Flexmoney]

It sounds like they beat you to the punch.

[Chills1994]

cyburg wrote:

So how many Mothers do you have?

while we all have one biological mother and one biological father, obviously, we do NOT necessarily have a "mom" or a "dad" in our lives.

you can try just one attempt...to reach out with an olive branch or peace offering of sorts....then after that, the ball is in their court.

after that, cut your losses. never look back.

[Trini]

Yoe call her every few months.... Maybe that is part of the problem.......

[Biloxi23]

I wish I could talk with my Dad every couple on months. He died about ten years ago.

[Chills1994]

^^^keyword being "Dad", up above.

[AlamoShooter]

your keeping score , I don't even keep score with my friends.

My Dad is still alive , my Mom dies last year. If I wanted to add up a score sheet, no room would be left on it for love

Love means to me that you know the worst things about someone and still care for them.

I went years with out talking to my brother and one of my sisters.

No reason to cut any ties , just start on a path and see if crosses theirs in the future

[Bill_J]

If they were stealing from you to supply a drug habit, inflict physical harm, or cause serious emotional/mental pain. Then I could understand not wanting to be even a small part of their lives.

My brother and I have put our sister through drug and alcohol rehab 4 times in the past 6 years. But if she called tomorrow saying she was ready to try and get it together again, she knows Id be on the next flight out to help. We absolutely will have nothing to do with her, while she is drinking or high. Neither of us have heard from her for the past 6 months, nor even have a clue as to where she is.

Not saying you have to do every and anything they ask, but apparently its up to you to be the bigger person. Call your mom once a week. Call your brother once a week. It will most likely improve your relationships with them. If it does not work out, well heck you gave it a try. Good luck to you.

[Putty]

Familys are complicated, friends come and go. Live your own life without the percieved hurt and love them in spite of their mind(s). It is something alot of people struggle with...moving forward without constraint.

[Larry White]

I called my mom and dad at least once a week, most times more often. Got any idea what I would give to call them right now? At least reach out and make the effort because when they are gone its a big empty space and nothing ever really fills it.----------Larry

[Jaxshooter]

I call my Mom and Dad every day and we live in the same town. One day they won't be there to call and you will wish you could. I have been through this with my wife. She lost both parents in an 18 month period.

[AlamoShooter]

I hope its a long time before you have to look at your cell phone and delete the # that says Mom

[rgkeller]

call your mom a lot and dump the rest of them

[JimmyZip]

It sounds like they beat you to the punch.

This really means soooo much. Take this to heart.

[t_kothmann]

Just love on em. If your waiting to get something out of this relationship you will be frustrated. I share no blood with most of what I consider my "family".

[warpspeed]

call your mom a lot and dump the rest of them

that is what i was thinking.

[mpeltier]

I keep wondering why you did not call your Mom when she did not call as expected. Did you sit around for 5 months wondering if she made it home safely? It seems the lack of comunication is a result of the lack of closeness you had growing up.I do not mean this as harsh as it may sound, maybee you just need to tell them how you feel and see where that goes.

[cyburg]

I would like to thank everyone for their comments. I agree with what was stated and a lot is true. It just seems like that the only time I get a call is when someone wants something and not just to say hi, how are you or i was just thinking about you. My wife always says, just because they have to be that way does not mean you do. After I made this post another friend had just made a post on FB to the sort, things the have an end, girlfriend, boyfriend and so on but family does not have an end. Sort of hit home.

I knew my mom made it home ok because one of my cousins sent me a message that night saying that he had seen her.

Time will tell and like everyone stated, you only have one mother and its family.

Thanks again for you posts,

Steve

[Sarge]

Ahh family.........

Loved my mom and dad. Never really connected with my brother and sisters though. I carry grudges something terrible and the same is true when it comes to them. I was ten years younger than them so I guess I "got" more since I was the only child at home later on. They were jealous and treated me like crap and I never forgot it.

Sad but true....

My POS brother told me I could use his sooped up Nova for a special date if I washed, waxed, detailed it. I worked on it all day Saturday and he took it to "put gas in it for me". Didn't see him until the next day. BASTARD!!

My sister 's daughter hooked up with a pretty worthless guy who ran off an joined the Army. One day I decided to visit for some unknown reason and proceeded to listen to her badmouth the Army and ANYBODY in it as they are all "Worthless POS". I waited for my sister to correct her since at that time I was career Army. When she failed to even hint at apologizing for her daughters rudeness I got in the car and left.

Finally, and I find this as funny as I do aggravating, When my parents finally passed away the plan was to meet on a certain date and go through the house and their possessions and split things up and sell off the house. When I showed up on that certain date they had all already been through the house and took everything but a few pictures of me!.

It's been at least 10 years since I've seen any of them and I have no plans of ever trying to again.

It is what it is........... family.