Patrick Sweeney Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 On the BBC America channel, is a show called Top Gear. They are British unabashed car buffs, who are not at all in the pockets of the car makers. They'll tell the truth, and do it with humor. On a recent show where they abuse an Aston Martin, they compare it to its (minor changes) predecessor. Pointing to the old "This is Kiera Knightly." Pointing to the new "This is Kiera Knightly wearing Puff Daddy's jewelry." They do abusive challenges, they thrash cars, they make fun of everything, and have fun doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Run n Gun Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Patrick, I agree completely! Most British humor (or is that humour?) leaves me pretty cold. I am NOT a Monty Python or a Benny Hill (no, the other one) fan but Top Gear is hilarious. I was watching the one where all three of the guys built their own limousine and as, one by one, members of my family came through the room they stopped and watched the rest of the show. Even my wife thought it was good enough to ask when it will be on again! Ed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catfish Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 I remember one of their shows when they were testing a Porsche Boxster (which I think is a fantastic car, by the way...) and the host said: "Let's face it. Yes the Boxster is a wonderful car. Yes it handles well. But admit it. The main reason most heterosexual men buy a Boxster is because they couldn't afford a 911." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Cheely Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Love that show. Too bad I can only see it on youtube. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritinUSA Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Some of the memorable quotes from Top Gear... "I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch......if you've got even half a scrotum it's not going to happen." "We start tonight with the highlight of my childhood. It's the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it's full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT........ Now this for me, when I was little, was like kind of Jordan and Cameron Diaz....in a bath together.....with a Lightning jet fighter, and lots of jelly." "[about Porsche Cayman S] There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come offstage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean" ..."the last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1938 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany" On the Alfa Romeo Brera... "I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather and I'm nursing a semi!" Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster - 'It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom' On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car: it begins with "s" and ends with "t" and its not "soot". Hammond :"So its fairly terrible then?" Clarkson :"Oh no...losing your leg is fairly terrible.....this is another league of badness!" "the Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite" "Speed has never killed anyone......its suddenly becoming stationary... That's what gets you." 'The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw' "Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?" "The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler" (Fed up during the caravaning trip) "You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!" "This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers....not that that's much to shout about.....that's like saying "Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases."" (Mercedes CLs55) "Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss." "I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?" Clarksons highway code on cyclists: 'trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong' "I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i" "Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe...probably because they don't have wheel-chair access" "If we are being honest HIV is a pathetic virus, it can only live in the air for 6 seconds and it does what ebola does to you in 10 days in 10 years" "Mandela just doesn't deserve his pedestal, I'm mean the blokes a bit dodgy" On Mandela's claim that Cuba is a good advert for democracy!!! "Well Mr Mandela why don't you go and ask one of the 12 year old Cuban prostitutes which way her parents voted" "Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show......so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!" On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French Air Force crashing into a firework factory" "Now as you can see I lost the battle to have two engines on the back because of three very important reasons. One: weight. This is 600 Lbs and that's the same as having a whole American sitting on the tailgate..." "I would still buy the DB9 over this, and save myself the £60,000. The problem with this car is its gearbox, its just........" Hammond:"THAT bad is it?" Clarkson:"Oh no. Robert Mugabe is bad, this is in a whole different league!" In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was. "the DB9 has rear seats but no mammal yet created, not even when Swearing was on the LSD trip that gave us the pink flamingo, could fit into them." Assessing Hammond's crash: Clarkson:"you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. now why didnt you spot that?!" Hammond:"I had a lot on: i was Doing 288 mph." Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doining the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!" "Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved... for a murderer." "I dont often agree with the RSPCA as i believe it is an animals duty to be on my plate at supper time" "there are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face" "Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face. " "Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it, if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under the tweed. I do, and it helps." "you cant have this car with a diesel, its like saying, i wont go to stringfellows tonight, ill get my mum to give me a lapdance, shes a woman!" "During the break we got complaints that we don't show enough green cars so here's one..." Pointing to a Lamborghini Murcielago... in bright green Of the Porsche Cayenne! "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scirocco38s Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Yeah, well as funny as they are, the old fart that is the host is so anti-american it makes me vomit. He doesnt miss a chance to say something negative about the US. After about 3 shows where he says crap like that I have found something else to watch. Maybe if he wouldnt talk so much the show would be worth watching. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neomet Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 This is one of, if not my absolute favorite show. Perfect mix of humor, honest comparisons, and Buggatti Veyrons. "Vlad the Impaler is back." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricW Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Top Gear is hysterical. I laughed really hard when the rednecks started chucking rocks at them (literally) at an Alabama gas station. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Ahh, the Brits are so humourously abusive...! Or is that abusively humourous...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChrisStock Posted May 19, 2008 Share Posted May 19, 2008 Top Gear is hysterical. I laughed really hard when the rednecks started chucking rocks at them (literally) at an Alabama gas station. Yes, I believe this was on their "I have $500 to spend for a road trip to New Orleans" episode. Imagine the P.O.S. vehicles they bought to make the road trip...the $500 spending limit was BRUTAL. I believe that one of them lost a side bet and had to have some "man love" crap spray painted on the side of his truck. That really didn't go over too well with the rural populace, as you might imagine. To further top it off, once the mob was assembled and it got nasty, one of the vehicles failed to start. I believe they made it out with their lives with seconds to spare. They knew whatt trouble it would cause and did it anyway. Right damn stupid on their part, IMO. On the flip side, it was hysterical to see the reactions from these couple of tools on their way through the Southeast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boz1911 Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Great show, my wife will even watch it with me on occasion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seth Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Top Gear has all the grit, unabashed truth, and ascerbic wit that I live for. One of my favorites.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neomet Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 My new favorite line is from the test of the Mercedes C63 AMG discussing what it is like to drive with the traction control turned off: "Its an axemurderer with headlights" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Gundry Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Some of my favorites: Motorhome Racing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gourYCpaJLU Veyron http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hEZc4JMMsk P50 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN0LQJLabqA There's much more, but that's all I can think of at the moment... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskySig Posted May 20, 2008 Share Posted May 20, 2008 Yeah, well as funny as they are, the old fart that is the host is so anti-american it makes me vomit. He doesnt miss a chance to say something negative about the US. I find Jeremy Clarkson's views of America disgusting. He comes off like a spoiled brat who doesn't appreciate what America has done to increase the popularity of his show. You think they could blow up cars with machine guns in England? No flipping way, they have to come to America to do that. Then a couple of shows later, he calls us gun totin' rednecks. mattk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigDave Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Jeremy testing a Ford Fiesta - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_KIqdS1SO0&feature=dir Fast forward to 8:05 for the amphibious assault by Jeremy and the Royal Marines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tzygä Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Great show!! It comes several canals (normal TV and pay TV) in my country. The British make great programs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cardinal Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 Top gear is just about my favorite tv show. Here's an interview Clarkson and Hammond did in Australia, where they also mention their trip in the US where they almost got killed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ihatepickles Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 What a great show, they had no idea at the time how badly their humour would play in Alabama. I watch it anytime I can catch it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham Smith Posted May 20, 2009 Share Posted May 20, 2009 On the BBC America channel, is a show called Top Gear. Back around 2003, I was in Wales visiting friends and Top Gear was on the TV in the Pub. I kept thinking that this would be a great show to bring to the US. It took a few years, but it finally made it. To say these guys are a few cards short of a deck is an understatement. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Dame Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 I love watching TOPGEAR!!! They have so many colourful ways of saying how bad things are. I got a kick out of when they tried to test the new challanger but Chrysler wouldn't give them one dur to their many bad reviews,,,, so they bought one on their own Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
L-10_shooter Posted May 21, 2009 Share Posted May 21, 2009 Jeremy testing a Ford Fiesta - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_KIqdS1SO0&feature=dirFast forward to 8:05 for the amphibious assault by Jeremy and the Royal Marines. wow that beach assult in a green ford fiesta that has got to be the funniest thing I have ever seen, hahahaha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anubis Posted May 30, 2009 Share Posted May 30, 2009 This is by far my favorite clip from Top Gear http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pOT6cXogwRQ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anubis Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 (edited) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_KIqdS1SO0 Just skip the first 30 seconds or so to get past the useless part Edited June 18, 2009 by Anubis Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris Keen Posted June 18, 2009 Share Posted June 18, 2009 This is an excellent segment of the show, worthy of watching TWICE. But I hate to disappoint you but it's been posted here before. http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?...st&p=982481 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now