B.J. Norris Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 Stolen from my girlfriend's cousin's blog. 30 THINGS GUYS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT GIRLS: 1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do. 2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud. 3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat. 4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful. 5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous. 6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it. 7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms. 8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did. 8.5 If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did. 9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it... 10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales. 11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy.. 11.5 Do you honestly need all your money that much? Be a man, pay all the time! 12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship. 13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely. 14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him. 15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer. 16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back. 17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went. 18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals. 19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky. 20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding. 21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it. 22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend. 23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you. 24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked. 25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle. 26. Memorize their god damn birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life. 27. Don't marinade the cologne, but smell good. 28. Don't give her something stupid for her birthday or Christmas or Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. Jewelry is always nice. 29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out. 30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond. (If you have read this and you are a girl, then some of these things are actually really true. And if you read this and you are a guy, then these are like the mother f*#kin best tips you could ever get!) You now have 2 options... 1) Repost this bulletin and you will have good luck in all your relationships. 2) Ignore this, and you will have bad luck in all your relationships...now you wouldn't want that, would you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 "Stolen from my girlfriend's cousin's blog." I should hope the "cousin" is a girl also... or if it is a he.. It's one of those Metrosexual things I've been reading about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimel Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 Okay, so like, #1 is a trick...right? You tell a guy that a girl is running around the house in her underwear and expect him to stay away? Uhhh...yeah, right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 #12 is all wrong...I don't want a cute, little, stuffed animal. When I was single, the only stuffed animal I'd even consider would be a taxidermied one that either you or I bagged on the hunting trip we went on! The sweatshirt I might consider keeping if it doesn't have beer or pizza stains. And a ring? Sure why not, I can always pawn it and buy another gun if "we" don't work out! BTW, #28 - yup pawning those to buy components. Just save the extra step and buy me bullets! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharyn Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 Ah, very good! One subtle change though... 14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your responsibility to beat the shit out of him. I thought the same thing, kimel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricW Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did.8.5 If you DO sleep with them, don't tell your friends that you did. Addendum: 8.6 Do not expect reciprocity on item 8. Expect all the details of what goes on in your bedroom to be public knowledge among all of her friends, people who are not friends, and people she's never met before. You might as well just get used to leaving the drapes open now. 8.7 Every time you meet one of her new friends, be prepared to learn every, single, intimate detail of each friend's (usually kinky) sexual practices beforehand, whether you want to or not. For explanation why, refer to 8.6. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
standles Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 Preach on Eric Preach ON..... IN 12 years of marriage I have gotten used to every move made in the relationship is instantly transmitted to her sisters and mother. I even wondered sometimes whether it was telepathic in nature. I recall one time ..... No not here I guess... Later, Steven Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn jones Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 only 30? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cking Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 Telephone, Internet, tell a woman. The woman is still the fastest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 No. 14 and No. 26...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lndshrk Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 RATIO 10 : 1 all men really need is: SEX FOOD QUIET Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRe Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 RATIO 10 : 1all men really need is: SEX FOOD QUIET <{POST_SNAPBACK}> don't forget.... TOYS SEX OTHER GUYS TO DO GUY STUFF WITH SEX ABILITY TO PROVIDE FOR AND FIX THINGS FOR THEIR FAMILY and SEX..... Sex, for men, establishes the connection to the relationship in much the same way those long heart to heart talks do for women. Denying men that connection is much the same as the men refusing to talk and listen to the women......... Hmmmm..... And, yeah, I find the "list" for my lady is both longer, and much more specific than just 30 points (and several of those points don't apply, in my case). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 "QUIET"...?? Whoa, that's a new one on ME......! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skjold Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 If you have every time the feeling to have to vomit when you meet a nice girl, my advise to you: Vomit. Fully vomit her from head to toe. If she remains at you, she's the right one. If she wants never again to deal something with yourselves, it wouldn't have been worthwhile anyhow... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritinUSA Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 Ok, I understand and have memorised items 1-30.... So how come I still can't get a date ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skjold Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 (edited) Ok, I understand and have memorised items 1-30.... So how come I still can't get a date ? Maybe you should remove the deer from your last hunting trip from your car hood, bevore you're going to pick up your date... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZOjJGXB_qw link edited, better quality now... Edited September 19, 2009 by Skjold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
North Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals. I have to raise the B.S. flag on this one, don't sugar coat it. You could be stuck with these people/animals for life. If you don't like them run away fast. If you can't stand her parents when you are dating, how will you feel when they live you and they need their depends changed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skjold Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 (edited) Ok, I understand and have memorised items 1-30.... So how come I still can't get a date ? OK, now a little more seriously: If you're only hanging around at home or at the range (or in front of your Dillon) in the evening, it's impossible to meet a nice girl. Go out in the evening with a few friends to the bistro, make your friends bring with their own girlsfriends. And girlsfriends often take with their girlfriends. And now for such an evening I set to you the following task: Try to make a girl slap you. The rules: You mayn't hit or touch her roughly and you mayn't insult her. (To put indiscreet questions or asking for sexual actions is an insult too) And if she talks to you, listen to her and don't interrupt her. Everything else is permitted. Just give it a try, the result will surprise you. Edited September 19, 2009 by Skjold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CSEMARTIN Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 2. DON'T CHEAT ON THEM. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they WILL find out and you will be mud. A buddy of mine was dating two girls that lived in apartment complexes right next to each other. He sent them cards on Valentine's Day, but he got the addresses mixed up. Oops! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlamoShooter Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 (edited) If you marry the Right One, They look better after 23 years than the day you meet them. After a week away you understand the meaning of loving them more each day. If she just breaks a finger nail = my hand hurts Edited September 19, 2009 by AlamoShooter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raz-0 Posted September 20, 2009 Share Posted September 20, 2009 18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals.I have to raise the B.S. flag on this one, don't sugar coat it. You could be stuck with these people/animals for life. If you don't like them run away fast. If you can't stand her parents when you are dating, how will you feel when they live you and they need their depends changed? Not only that, but some women are not buddy buddy with their parents. If the parents like you better than her, you are screwed. As for their friends, every woman likes it when you make a point of being way too nice to her female friends right? Yah, no. I think it is safer to say be polite but careful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary1911A1 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 If you're lucky enough to find one who likes to shoot, be happy to reload her ammo and clean her pistols for her. I would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badchad Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Ok, I understand and have memorised items 1-30.... So how come I still can't get a date ? Though most will deny it, it's because nice guys finish last, and the prettier women are, the more they hate nice. I like the rules from "School for Scoundrels" better: 1 - Be dangerous; it's cool 2 - No compliments, EVER!!! 3 - Always get the girl alone (separate the prey from the herd) 4 - Wherever you are, the place is lame! 5 - Relate to her 6 - Lie, lie, and lie some more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 "If you're lucky enough to find one who likes to shoot, be happy to reload her ammo and clean her pistols for her. I would."And the guy is REALLY lucky if she gets a kick out of reloading and cleaning for HIM. Some of us ladies just like getting our hands on guns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gary1911A1 Posted September 25, 2009 Share Posted September 25, 2009 "If you're lucky enough to find one who likes to shoot, be happy to reload her ammo and clean her pistols for her. I would."And the guy is REALLY lucky if she gets a kick out of reloading and cleaning for HIM. Some of us ladies just like getting our hands on guns. I better just keep my mouth shut or I'll risk getting ban from the forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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