ErikW Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Monkey Steals the Peach WARNING: Do not try this at home! If you are a single man, do not let your girlfriend(s) see this. If you are a married man, you have already experienced this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Cheely Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 :falls over: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Oh My..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spook Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Ri-di-cu-lous! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirtypool40 Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 I like the lines "...deliver the upward slap" and "will lift the enemy off the ground". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
short_round Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 I'm not so sure ... a monkey attempting to steal the peach on the Egret would get the muzzle pointing right into his upper A/B. Further assuming that the Egret did not wish to spank the monkey, I believe the "upward slap" could be enough to cause an A/D resulting in a headless peachless monkey. It's all speculation really ... like who would win in a light saber duel between Darth Maul and the Luke Skywalker in Return of the Jedi? Can we ever really know? Either way, I vote for the Egret. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Any monkey foolish enough to try and grab peaches in MY world will be looking down the barrel of something Sig-like... Any excessive bleeding, therefore, will be on the part of the monkey... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madmark Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 The manuevers name seems appropriate enough, because: A: one would have to have the intelligence of a monkey to drop to his knees for a grope during a streetfight. B: it seems it could only be successful on someone extremely slow, possessing only the lightest of fuzz below the navel! Ya gotta love the ninja suit though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
short_round Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Ya gotta love the ninja suit though. Can you imagine how much sh!t that guy would have gotten from the other people in the sport if he wasn't wearing the suit? Everytime he went somewhere to train or compete he would be know as the "peach stealing monkey." I can see it now, everytime he approached you would hear: "Quick grab your peaches, here comes the monkey." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Scoff ye non believers....It seems that it is always the tendency for one who is a disciple in one discipline of the martial arts to discount the effectiveness of another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Merlin has the right idea here folks. There are few, if any, martial arts systems which do not have a technique or three for attacking the groin. Many, especially those of Chinese origin, utilize a mnemonic to aid instruction. That said, any practitioner of the Egret would have shot anyone attacking in a ninja suit long before he got that close! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimel Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 I thought that move was called "Divorce Lawyer". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EricW Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Look! An Arm! Something for me to break.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madmark Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Can you imagine how much sh!t that guy would have gotten from the other people in the sport if he wasn't wearing the suit? Everytime he went somewhere to train or compete he would be know as the "peach stealing monkey."I can see it now, everytime he approached you would hear: "Quick grab your peaches, here comes the monkey." ROTFLMAO!! Mental note to self: Beware of ninjas singing "really love your peaches gonna shake your tree!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 That said, any practitioner of the Egret would have shot anyone attacking in a ninja suit long before he got that close! Ah, proper application of toi ma'ai. 'Course he is wearing a ninja suit...you may not see him in time if he is sneaking up to snatch the peach! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barlin Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 I am not real sure about the enemy thing. If you study fig.73 , you don't have to be Bruce Lee or even Pamela Lee for that matter, to see what the ninja guy has in mind. And yet karate man with his perfectly trimmed beard and of course wearing "product" in his fabulous hair in fig. 74 seems to feign a "bitch slap" all the while leaving his peach unguarded. I don't think I want to see figs.76-103 or fig.104 where ninja guy conveniently loses karate mans number. Barlin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aXXman Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Okay, what is the egret? I did a search and got 14 pages of results... Yes, I am a BE forum n00b... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcoliver Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 But...but...there's no contact! Is that suppose to be a finger-peach-tickling technique? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Okay, what is the egret? I did a search and got 14 pages of results...Yes, I am a BE forum n00b... Welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aXXman Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 lol, classic I don't see how there could be any defense against that if done properly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 The next series of photos, titled "kicking a peach stealing monkey's ass in one easy move" shows the bearded non-ninja knocking the monkey for a loop with a left cross...peaches in place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 "The next series of photos, titled "kicking a peach stealing monkey's ass in one easy move" shows the bearded non-ninja knocking the monkey for a loop with a left cross...peaches in place." Pretty much MY thinking, too, only I had a gun. Kicking the monkey's ass, I'll admit, has much less civil liability connected to it, but shooting him would've been more action-movie-like. Obviously, both methods are doubtless effective.On the OHTER hand, B.E. (The REAL Egret here) has all the bases covered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Wellllll..... Men are taught - and self taught - to protect the "eggs" from a very early age. With that being said. Don't bring a knife (or open hands) to a gunfight. Who would dare (be stupid enough) to face the "Egret" with a gun in his hand? Just about every man (at least believes) can box or fistfight or wrestle as good (read better) as the next person. If you are a carpenter and get into a race driving nails with a banker, who will win? A banker or engineer or whatever probably knows how to drive a nail but will have little reasonable expectation at winning a contest driving nails with someone who has "trained" at driving nails and drives nails every day. If you are trained in the martial arts of "gun fighting", be it USPSA or IDPA or any of the other competition handgun shooting sports and are forced into a gunfight with the "normal" untrained bad boy with a gun - what do you think the probable outcome would be? If you are hammering nails - have a hammer and the man with the most/best training will win. If you are in a gunfight - have a gun and the man with the most/best training wins. If you have trained in unarmed combat in any one of a large number of effective systems and find yourself in a "situation" where it must be used - facing an unarmed attacker - training will win. The picture shows two unarmed men. If Mr. Bearded has no training in martial arts he will probably soon be Mr Peach less. As to people laughing at the guy who has just ripped someone's balls off.. It won't be me laughing..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raz-0 Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 actually, I had always heard of it as monkey grabs the peaches. As I've seen it, it's big circle kung-fu sort of move, and not slow. You also don't actually drop to one knee like that. I'd generally regard it as an opportunistic move you'd whip out after having something else blocked and being left with a good shot at getting inside someones guard on the open side of their stance. But kung-fu kind of strikes me as the java of martial arts. Full of all sorts of interesting and useful stuff, but little chance of anyone ever keeping more than a fraction of the whole thing in their head. You also have to wonder why some of the stuff is considered essential. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madmark Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Sig Lady, You seem to be awful protective of your peaches..... Is there something we don't know? Merlin, This manuever probably works just dandy in a dojo against someone in that stance, wearing pajamas, with no training at all. However, most men wear jeans, and lead with their left foot. Kinda complicates the books perspective. Not saying anything bad about martial arts training, but I don't think your sensei would advocate that manuever in a streetfight. Raz-o's take on the manuever is more realistic, as it doesn't try to teach kneeling during a fight. That said, look at the pictures again. Are they not worthy of the humor forum!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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