Un-Helpful RO's

[DMS42]

Get her a shooting shirt and on the back write, "Thanks, but I don't need any advice"

+1,000 That'll work!

It didn't work for me. For awhile I posted a sign on my pistol box that read "Please do not talk to me. I took leave time to be here and need the practice."

People would still want to talk to me and in some cases used the sign as an excuse to start talking to me. There were times that I only got 10 rds downrange in 2 hours. I was just trying to get some practice in before the Air Guard pistol team that I was coaching showed up.

[jkatz44]

Just nod your head and laugh about it later.

[DMS42]

Forgot to add that what seems to work is to tell the RO "No, Thanks. My hubby is my coach and doesn't want me taking any coaching or advise from anyone but him."

[kgunz11]

As the husband part of a husband/wife shooting team, it's not going to stop. It's up to you wife to let their "pointers" roll right out the other ear. You can't make folks stop trying to help, which is what they are doing. If you can't take the people you shoot with, shoot somewhere else. You don't have to be in control of her shooting 100% of the time. The best thing I did for my wife was to let her go and let her enjoy her shooting. USPSA is a group sport, it loses some of its luster when you remove the rest of the group. I've had my wife go off to "camps" and come back with some really strange stuff. I explain to her why we do the things we do with the best logic I can offer and let her decide for herself. I've picked up a few things from her too.

[kgunz11]

Oh, and don't forget, we are a loving bunch. If we offer anything, it's because we are TRYING to help because we are good people that care for each other and LOVE this sport.

[JThompson]

Oh, and don't forget, we are a loving bunch. If we offer anything, it's because we are TRYING to help because we are good people that care for each other and LOVE this sport.

Ya well, anyone trying to teach her a Weaver needs to be bitch slapped.

Edited April 19, 2010 by JThompson

[kgunz11]

Oh, and don't forget, we are a loving bunch. If we offer anything, it's because we are TRYING to help because we are good people that care for each other and LOVE this sport.

Ya well, anyone trying to teach her a Weaver needs to be bitch slapped.

There are situations when a Weaver are appropriate, but not so much when shooting USPSA. At an IDPA match, I can see it being suggested.

[JThompson]

Oh, and don't forget, we are a loving bunch. If we offer anything, it's because we are TRYING to help because we are good people that care for each other and LOVE this sport.

Ya well, anyone trying to teach her a Weaver needs to be bitch slapped.

There are situations when a Weaver are appropriate, but not so much when shooting USPSA. At an IDPA match, I can see it being suggested.

Then you need to be bitch slapped.

[kgunz11]

I once thought as you Jim until I was shown the err in my ways by some folks more educated, skilled, talented, and worldly than either of us. I said situations, and I find them few, but its true.

[BayouSlide]

The only unsolicited advice an RO should give to a new shooter should be pointers regarding potential safety issues the shooter should be made aware of...but that's just me. If the RO is a GM, then maybe his or her stage advice would be worth listening too...you could look at that as an unpaid lesson...bet the ROs you're talking about aren't GMs, though

Curtis

[Flyin40]

Its sounds like you don't want to offend anyone. If you posting on an internet forums about these people bothering you and upsetting your wife then its bothering you more than you want to believe. Squash it, period. Let these guys know. You and your wife are enjoying shooting together and letting these people bother you not only while your two are shooting but after the match, between matches. Now she'll be thinking prior to the next match about these guys and probably won't find it enjoyable because of the anxiety.

You don't have to rude or anything. I'll tell you one thing that works. Have her double plug so when they try to talk she starts saying "what?", "huh?" and just say thanks and walk away. It won't take them long to get the hint. You can easily see when these guys are doing this and just walk and say "Your missing a mag" "where did you lose it?" as a way to get her away.

Teach her the Uspsa lingo. Have her start talking about loads, springs weights, powder or whatever. "Thanks but I found that this worked better" So far there hasn't been a faster way that I have found to stop the know it all than start talking about technique etc. The limits of their knowledge about shooting its obvious very quickly.

Personally if it was upsetting my wife and this was something we do together I would just say "Thanks but no thanks". I found that alot of these guys, especially the older guys just like talking. If it was just me I don't mind talking to anyone and if they offer advice I listen unless they are just rude about it. Even if I know what they are telling me is wrong I still listen. Part of going to the matches is BS'in with the other shooters. You and your wife enjoy shooting together and are enjoying your time together at the matches. Just let them know and do it quickly before she no longer wants to shoot.

Most importantly when your wife is ask if she wants help just say No. If she feels she is being rude then you step up and say you need to load mags. If you don't feel comfortable being assertive or direct then go up saying "Hey you shot those two targets really well" then take her and walk her to the target to look at the hits.

You have to do something quickly or it sounds like she won't be shooting long. Its either that you might be sitting around the house doing yard work or maybe knitting instead of shooting. Your choice

Good luck

Flyin

.

[RufDog]

I took a GF to a defensive shooting course once. EVERY guy there wanted to spend their time "helping" her. I let the instructor know IT HAD TO STOP. He announced, in a polite way, advise from fellow classmates wasnt always welcome or relevant. She was a very polite person & that led people to believe their advise was not only welcome but wanted. I am hesitant to invite myself into helping a woman because they hear so much crap what makes you any different. Additionally, I WILL certainly NOT walk right past their significant other to "help", to do so is very disrespectful. We couldnt shoot anywhere with out her being pummeled with "helpers", I found it overwhelmingly distracting not only for her but me as well. I'd prefer she used some of the more direct approaches that were listed in previous posts. At least it would stop the repeat performers.

[JThompson]

I'd go with the shirt and perhaps you can make a short "speech" to whatever squad she is assigned too.

Hello everyone my name is X and this is my wife X, I appreciate people wanting to help her, but this is our family time and I would prefer to teach her myself. I mean no disrespect, but please hold off any teaching related comments, or critiques.

Thank you.....

Edited April 19, 2010 by JThompson

[spencerhut]

I notice this behavior pretty much anytime there is a woman at the range. The older guys have to help the poor defenseless female.

This is what happened to my wife when she first started. Every single guy on the range had to give her some sage advise about this or that. After a while they stopped bugging her.

She occasionally does really good with her handgun, but she usually wins the rifle stages with her AR. Those last few shots are at teacup sized Tannerite. She did better than me and I was kneeling.

[AzShooter]

Be nice but say firmly you already have a trainer and you are following their advice. If the RO would like to talk to them and if he then feels it's good advice you'll listen to your trainer. I tell them "hey, I'm getting paid to train her and know what I'm doing."

But there is always that "Friendly" RO that has to give his .02 cents. Normally about the gun being too powerful for the little lady or stance is wrong or grip, etc. Unfortunately you can't just walk away but be nice and explain you don't need someone else confusing you.

[rvb]

I may need to clarify. These are volunteers that RO on the weekend so they can shoot during the week outside of "public" shooting times. This is a public range ...

Since it sounds like you're not talking about match ROs, such as at uspsa/idpa/SC/etc, but rather the yokels at the public range, may I suggest she respond with a simple question... "who the hell asked you?"

The problem is worse for women, but it happens to everyone. Even being a guy I know I've gotten "advice" at the public range and in the gun shops (yokel: "no one can handle those little .38 revolvers they kick too much. you should ..." Me, interputing: "Who the hell asked you?"). Ends it pretty quick.

That's just me...

Now,

If it's an issue at a match, then more tact is obviously required. But at a match you are [typicaly] dealing with people who at least understand her goals and while opinions/methods may differ, the advice is usually reasonable, and you can take from it what you need/want. If it's a problem at matches, then being stand-off-ish is best, imo. Double plug, spend time checking equipment and going over plans, be busy resetting the stage, work the score-sheet, etc. ie be un-available for chatting.

good luck.

-rvb

Edited April 22, 2010 by rvb

[kgunz11]

But Ryan, is it necessary to be rude to someone trying to help you? Regardless if they are a match RO or range RO, they too deserve to be treated nicely. Now if they ignore your first attempts then by all means, let'em have it.

[rvb]

that's what I get for multi-tasking... didn't type out well.

no, it's not the first response. I'm nto that gruff. but I get there quickly sometimes. Used to go to a public range weekly and it got very old, especially if paying by the hour and you have specific things you want to work on and fit into the practice. I can't imagine having to deal w/ it as a lady, it must be exponentially worse. sometimes you have to be a bit gruff to get the point across...

at a match, it's a different environment. i AM there to make friends and get different viewpoints.

-rvb

[kgunz11]

No worries. If 1/10 of what I wrote was interpreted as I meant for it to be I'd be a lot better off.

[davidwiz]

Lord help anyone who tried to give "helpful" shooting advice to my GF. Besides cursing them out, she'd outshoot them.

[Athena]

Ah yes.....silly men. One of the best "advice" I had was at a local club shoot where there was a stage set up with three ports. So there I was choreographing my dance routine going from one port, crossing one foot over the other to the next and so on when this one slightly overweight man with a ninja tactical vest on who happens to shoot a sport that starts with an "I" and ends with an "A" came up to me and loudly told me that what I was doing was dangerous and that I might trip and fall. Word. I could see the other shooters laughing in the background but I just looked at him, batted my eyelashes and said very politely, "Thanks for the advice, Sir. I shall keep that in mind." Then of course I shot the stage with my obnoxiously loud gun, finished without tripping and when I turned around, he ninja-melted into the background, never to be seen of or heard from ever again.

[PinoyShooter06]

There is nothing wrong with saying "Thanks...but we already have a plan."

+1 . good way of letting know that you don't want be bothered.

[mag17]

Just be polite in your responses.... Funny how we all want to helpful but we are all adults and just should be polite...

I have shot at matches were some of the competitors have be just a$$ to everyone and I just keep my distance and concentrate and listen to others....

[Whoops!]

People bother my wife-to-be all the time when I shoot with her (depends on how much makeup she puts on). I can't say I mind too much. One out of every 20 times they will mention something that would help and I didn't notice. Ok, maybe one out of every 30. Here's the thing, they're gonna bother her when you're not around, so isn't it a good thing to see how she reacts when you are around? I like to see how she handles the situation, it lets me know if she's a keeper.

Here's what I'm saying, listen to them, and decide if it's right for you or not.

If I see a shooter struggling at a club match, regardless of gender, I'll ask, "Would you like some tips?" Then I'll usually start with, don't worry about it, we all sucked at some point and proceed to point out where they're doing something grossly wrong, such as using a full blown weaver stance at every shooting position, or keeping their finger on the trigger while moving. Here's another thing, in general, women are worse at speed shooting then men.

This is part of human interaction. It's part of societal responsibility. It's part of living appropriately. If you completely ignore other people or tell them to flip off when they try to offer advice, all you're doing is hurting everyone. For example, if someone told me no one can handle a .357 lightweight revolver, I would say, "Actually, I can handle one quite well, it's all about practicing appropriately with it. It does take a lot more practice than a Glock though." If someone told my girlfriend the weaver is better I would say, "Actually, if you're moving and engaging targets while moving, it's much quicker to have a shooting stance that isn't so forcefully structured."

This applies to other aspects of life as well, I'm sure most of us have seen someone struggling at something, did you offer advice or let them struggle and potentially fail? There was a time before the big city mentality that many of you are exhibiting. A time when we actually relied on one another on an individual basis. The big city mentality is a great example of why society is failing in . . . big cities. I know it's part of the reason I don't want to live where I live now. When people only care about themselves, people fail . . . usually in an extremely obvious manner.

Edited November 22, 2013 by Whoops!