ErikW Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 A man in Oregon decided to write a book about churches around the country. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign which read "$10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Washington, Idaho, Utah, Oklahoma, Vermont, New York, and all around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign; and the same answer from each pastor. Finally, he arrived in Texas. Upon entering a church in Luckenbach, TX, behold, he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read: "Calls: 50 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor. "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to God. However, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute -- your charge is only 50 cents. How can this be?" The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Texas now.....it's a local call." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sac Law Man Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Heaven??? Heck, their not even over the civil war yet...haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 It's true! You can't swing a dead cat here without hitting a church. Come to think of it, you're just as likely to hit a liquor store or topless club too...Hmmmm....There's probably a direct relationship between the amount of sin and the number of churches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 My son lives in a town with a Baptist church that has 12 members...also in that same town are 34 other churches...in a town of 12.5 thousand....whoda thought... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ima45dv8 Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Texas and churches.....yeah. They probably have changed (at least I hope so), but when I lived there in the early 80's, there were some pretty strange "Blue laws" still in effect. You could not buy a mop, or pantyhose, or a Monopoly board game on Sundays, but you could buy beer and wine starting at noon. Entire sections of the grocery stores would be roped off on Sundays. You couldn't buy a mop of any other cleaning products because they represented laboring on the Sabbath. You couln't buy pantyhose or lipstick or any other female doo-dads because those were the trappings of harlots, and were excluded from the Sabbath. And you couldn't buy a Monopoly game or other such entertainment because they represented gambling, and were excluded from the Sabbath. But you could get hammered on Cold Adult Beverages starting at 12:00. My ex didn't mind not being able to buy a mop, but the pantyhose and lipstick thing drove her really insane once or twice. I didn't pay her too much mind when it happened -- I just opened another beer. ...Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Heck not being able to buy booze till noon on Sunday isn't too bad....a really good Saturday night should last till noon the next day anyway.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Who waits until you run out to buy more anyway? I always keep a two week supply handy, just in case! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ima45dv8 Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 ....a really good Saturday night should last till noon the next day anyway.... If we're lucky... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 ima45dv8 You USED to live in TEXAS and don't still live there???????? WTF??? Why would anyone voluntarily ever leave TEXAS? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ima45dv8 Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 ima45dv8You USED to live in TEXAS and don't still live there???????? WTF??? Why would anyone voluntarily ever leave TEXAS? No, I shouldn't have said I lived in Texas. To be more precise, I used to live in Houston. I really did enjoy my time there, though. I can say without hesitation it is the next best thing to being in Georgia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1911user Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 ima45dv8You USED to live in TEXAS and don't still live there???????? WTF??? Why would anyone voluntarily ever leave TEXAS? Employment? I was in Austin when the tech boom went bust in 2001/2002. I really miss riding my motorcycle in the Hill Country west of Austin; nice twisty roads and nice scenery. That's OK, I returned to Oklahoma and life is good again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ima45dv8 Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 ima45dv8You USED to live in TEXAS and don't still live there???????? WTF??? Why would anyone voluntarily ever leave TEXAS? Employment? I was in Austin when the tech boom went bust in 2001/2002. I really miss riding my motorcycle in the Hill Country west of Austin; nice twisty roads and nice scenery. That's OK, I returned to Oklahoma and life is good again (except for all of the damned straight roads). Yep, I originally went there for employment. I was part of the late-70's/early-80's oil boom going on there. It was a great place to be for someone young and making good money. What a jumpin' place! There's liquor store in Houston I should have just purchase up front instead making all those weekly payments. We spent a lot of time up near New Braunfels, Canyon Lake, the Guadelupe River, Austin, etc. From there I went to Elk City, Oklahoma to work in deep-hole country (wells over 4 miles deep - lotsa pipe). Plenty of fond memories from there, too. ...Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 "Who waits until you run out to buy more anyway?I always keep a two week supply handy, just in case!" ... of what...? Pantyhose...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry White Posted February 16, 2005 Share Posted February 16, 2005 Go to almost small Texas town and find the Baptist church. Turn and look across and down the street, there you will find the Methodist Church and Church Of Christ. They build them close together so they can keep an eye on each other.-----Larry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
short_round Posted February 16, 2005 Share Posted February 16, 2005 you're just as likely to hit a liquor store or topless club too... I miss Texas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 (edited) LOL! Glad I did the search..hehe Edited June 1, 2007 by Merlin Orr Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Back in the late 60's the Kentucky State Legislature, House and Senate, passed legislation which removed nearly all of Kentucky's "Blue laws." The Governor vetoed the legislation and when asked why responded "You can't legislate morality!" Texas and churches.....yeah. They probably have changed (at least I hope so), but when I lived there in the early 80's, there were some pretty strange "Blue laws" still in effect....Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokshwn Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 ima45dv8You USED to live in TEXAS and don't still live there???????? WTF??? Why would anyone voluntarily ever leave TEXAS? Cuz the only you guys didn't build big enough was a fence to keep y'all in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 "Who waits until you run out to buy more anyway?I always keep a two week supply handy, just in case!" <span style='color:navy'>... of what...? Pantyhose...?</span> ROFLMAO Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markm Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Heaven??? Heck, their not even over the civil war yet...haha You say that like it's a bad thing? You can't swing a dead cat here without hitting a church. Come to think of it, you're just as likely to hit a liquor store or topless club too... You say that like it's a bad thing? Sorry I just got home from the liquor store after leaving the topless bar..... don't mean to repeat myself. God it's good to be back home! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Heaven??? Heck, their not even over the civil war yet...haha Ahem. Might one assume you refer to the War of Northern Aggression? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry White Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 We are not quite ready to concede the war deal cause the last battle was fought at Brownsville and we did win it. Kind of makes you wonder if its over.---------Larry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I'm not sure if he's talkin' about the one Lincoln started or the Santa Anna thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 I might have to move to texas heck my ancecters came from alabama to texas to New Mexico Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
austinkroe Posted June 1, 2007 Share Posted June 1, 2007 Heaven??? Heck, their not even over the civil war yet...haha Ahem. Might one assume you refer to the War of Northern Aggression? I think you spelled it wrong. It is: Southern Provocation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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