grassy knoll Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 got a guy hooked on shooting IPSC 2 years ago and we went to all the matches together, last night he told me that he sold his gun and all the gear because he wasn't into the game anymore and needed the cash the ironic thing was I have a wife and family and couldn't get out to practice as much as he was and now he is getting married this fall because he saw that having a wife and family is more important than shooting, how do you make the two go together? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 You just make sure your spouse is amenable to the shooting sport, then make compromises in time and money thereafter that suit you both. I see no huge conflict. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Larry Cazes Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 I agree, no conflict exists as long as you and your wife have similiar interests. Since when has this stopped being a prerequisite for marriage? My wife and I shoot together every weekend. The only dispute is about who gets to shoot with which equipment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garfield Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 As soon as the matches are becoming known for a new year, I set down and make a schedule of what I would like to do (shooting/RO-ing). Then I discuss this with my wife and together we make the final schedule. This avoids surprises or big conflicts in agendas, it works for us. I hardly find/take time to train but that's my own choice. Every thursday night I am out to my local club, but being the treasurer and a trainer there I don't get too much trigger time then either. But that's also my own choice, not a complaint. I could dry fire practice a lot more, but I just need to get to it. At least that doesn't take up much time from my wife's agenda. In fact, it doesn't conflict at all. As she is away every monday, wednesday and friday night, I could practice a lot after the kids have gone to bed. I even bought a book for that of some guy named "Steve", you might know him . As your friend said, having a wife and family is indeed more important than shooting, but there doesn't have to be a conflict ! And IMNSHO*, if there really, really, really is a conflict than one should consider another wife (or husband). * In My Not So Humble Opinion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigDave Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 The great thing about central Indiana is that you can shoot either there is a shoot (IPSC, IDPA, NRA AP, Steel and Bowling Pins) on every weekend, and on some weekends, both Saturday and Sunday, all w/i 90 minutes of Indy. The bad thing about central Indiana is that you can shoot either there is a shoot (IPSC, IDPA, NRA AP, Steel and Bowling Pins) on every weekend, and on some weekends, both Saturday and Sunday all w/i 90 minutes of Indy. IMO, sometimes you just have to say no to the shooting and be with the familiy (whatever your's may be). Lucky for me, my wife has been very supportive of this habit (shooting). But yesterday, as an example, I skipped one of my favorite local IPSC matches to hang with friends and family. I made the right choice. Talking to Rhino, I missed a great match and I did miss it, but I'm still glad I decided to skip it. I tend to think of my family (namely my wife) as my "sponsor". If you don't give your sponsors proper attention from time to time, their support will just run dry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old shooter Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 I think that it depends on what you are trying to acomplish in the shooting game. When I first started, I was single, and able to go to any match that I wanted, reload til 2 in the morning, buy the latest and greatest gadget, practice a lot, and it showed. I think that I was a very good shooter, and saw improvement monthly. A top 16 national was not a pipedream, then I got married w/children. I am not saying you can't do both, but I don't think you can do both at a very high level. I have no regrets quiting shooting to become a GM dad. I am back in the game again after a long time, and so far having a lot of fun. Especially since I don't have to finance kids anymore. Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted April 19, 2004 Share Posted April 19, 2004 My feelings exactly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twix Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I usually just use the "Retrosexual Strut" so the spousal unit remembers her place. (damn I hope she doesn't see this) Of course the key things are getting lucky (or being smart enough to know what you want) with the right spouse as I did (LUCKY) and being willing to compromise so everybody gets at least some of what they want. tomb Edited to add: A year ago you could have said central Indiana sucked for shooting. Thanks again Skeeter and S.B. for the Atlanta CC. And, BD, Rhino was right as usual, D-Lo put out a great match and you missed it but are forgiven. They even set up the Proof and Pudding, Rhino and I may not want to release our actual scores however. Note: I thought I did OK until I looked at the scores posted here on the Benosverse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I have sunburn on my chest right below my neck! It's a sign that I should have stayed home and spent the day with my family! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BDH Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 IMO, sometimes you just have to say no to the shooting and be with the familiy (whatever your's may be). Lucky for me, my wife has been very supportive of this habit (shooting). But yesterday, as an example, I skipped one of my favorite local IPSC matches to hang with friends and family. I made the right choice. Talking to Rhino, I missed a great match and I did miss it, but I'm still glad I decided to skip it.I tend to think of my family (namely my wife) as my "sponsor". If you don't give your sponsors proper attention from time to time, their support will just run dry. BigDave, GREAT POST.... This has been kind of an interesting evolution for my wife and I. Our 5 year anniversary is this Saturday, so while we are not newlyweds, we haven't been married for decades either. Anyway, she grew up in a family that was very anti-gun, while I grew up on a farm around firearms from day one. For probably the first year or two of marriage, she knew there were firearms in the house, and she knew that I would leave with range bags, but she never saw a gun (she stayed out of the basement if I was reloading or working on equipment). After a couple of years of her seeing me leave the house, and return with no extra holes in me, I think she started thinking 'hey, his gun has not jumped up and shot him, or anyone else. 'Maybe' they aren't so evil after all'. The next thing that happened was one day completely out of the blue, she says 'I want to see a gun'. Probably a year after that, she said 'I want to shoot a gun' (and there is a whole long story about how this experience went). Finally, we had our big breakthru last year..... I took her to A3 where she worked as Stats runner. While she was nervous about being around so many people with guns, she quickly got over that and had a GREAT time up there (many thanks to Arnie, Denise, Troy, Manny and all the others that made her feel at home). Area 3 was followed by her working the Bend Nationals, where she also had a GREAT time (the funny thing that happened up there was me introducing her to Lisa Munson, and Lisa asking her why she was not shooting. She said her hands were too small. Lisa grabs her by the arm, drags her to a safety area, unholsters her gun, sticks it in my wifes hands, and basically says 'now what is your excuse?' I only wished I had a picture....). Anyway, now she is dying to hear if she was selected to work the Barry Pistol Nationals, because she has to get back and see all 'her new friends'. I just love it when a plan comes together!! I doubt that you will ever see her 'shoot' an IPSC match, but in our own way we will be able to both enjoy this sport together for years to come! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dminor Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 BDH, Lovely post. Tell Deb we love her. I am glad that she had a good time at Area 3 last year. The sport needs a few good people to do the other jobs not associated with actually shooting the match, ie. ROing, stats, etc. There is just as much room for these members at matches and that then leaves shooters to be just that, Shooters! I will agree that it is nice to have your significant other at the range with you instead of one being left at home! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AGlock36 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 To me, just being married over 4 years, I find that you have to have a happy medium. Where as my wife does like to shoot and does own her own gun, she is not into comp shooting. But she is completely supportive of the fact that I want to and am doing it. As in the same, I am not an avid church goer but completely support her in that she is and takes our daughters. It is as in all things a 2 way street. Hope this helps. Paul Franklin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BDH Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I will agree that it is nice to have your significant other at the range with you instead of one being left at home! Plus, it has the benefit of not having to search Barry for a 'dinner date'. Nothing against Paul, but..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warpspeed Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I tend to think of my family (namely my wife) as my "sponsor". If you don't give your sponsors proper attention from time to time, their support will just run dry. BigDave nailed it. My wife prefers that I do my best to keep the shooting to Sunday so I try very hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dalmas Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I agree with the family/sponsor idea. I'm "lucky" in that my spouce is gone odd weekends, meaning that I can live on the range if I have the money for ammo (big problem). Even weekends are devoted to sponsor care... preferably on the range.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bberkley Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 My wife thinks if I shoot more than twice a month, its too much. She understands that some months have more events that I am inclined to shoot, and doesn't give me a whole lot of grief about it. The hard problem is child care. My 14-month old boy is quite the handful, and my mother-in-law gets a bit stressed out watching him by herself, so I have to have my older son go with the little one to help out. That kind of interferes with my plans to get the older boy started shooting now that his hands are big enough to hold the pistol properly. The longest break I have taken from shooting since I started two years ago was this past winter after I got DQ'ed at a match. I took a couple of months off, one match I was sick, the other I had some work-related stuff that came up. I keep trying to get my wife to at least come out to the club and learn how to shoot, but she says when I start showing an interest in keeping the plants in the house alive, she'll come shooting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BDH Posted April 21, 2004 Share Posted April 21, 2004 I keep trying to get my wife to at least come out to the club and learn how to shoot, but she says when I start showing an interest in keeping the plants in the house alive, she'll come shooting. Actually, my wife realized early on that I would NEVER take an interest in the house plants, so she decided that if she ever wanted to see me, she had better head out to the club! In all fairness to her, I have a very understanding wife, and also, I don't any children, so this is a little easier for me to accomplish. My advice.... enjoy your wife.... enjoy your 14 month old.... pour some water and spread a little fertilizer on the house plants.... and shoot when time allows.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flexmoney Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 Plastic plants stay green. (Hey...and they match with my shooting gear!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 I keep trying to get my wife to at least come out to the club and learn how to shoot, but she says when I start showing an interest in keeping the plants in the house alive, she'll come shooting. Once you start realizing that digging, seeding, planting, mowing, are very similar to range and stages setup, it won't bother you anymore... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gobabygo Posted April 22, 2004 Share Posted April 22, 2004 I am married with 2 kids (2 and 5). I love my family very much, and they take top priority in my life, but there does need to be some give and take. If you're not happy, what good are you going to be to your family? I like to shoot, and right now, that's "my thing". My wife likes to sew. Good for her. It's not like I'm going to give up shooting and start sewing. But we also share and listen to each other's experiences and take/feign some interest. As for as the time is concerned, I don't go overboard anymore. I get up early a couple days a month (on weekends) to shoot local competitions and I'm back by noon or 1 to spend the rest of the day with the family. Plus I'll spend an hour or so after work a couple days a month at the range to practice. I'm never going to be a GM based on these habits, but then again, I'd probably have to quit my job if that was really my goal. I have fun and that's enough for me. I think my 5yo son is almost ready to start shooting. I can't wait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grassy knoll Posted February 13, 2005 Author Share Posted February 13, 2005 on February 6 my friend who prompted this thread passed away, he was 31 years old I will remember the good times we had forever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Round_Gun_Shooter Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 on February 6 my friend who prompted this thread passed away, he was 31 years oldI will remember the good times we had forever. That is a heart break, Enjoy the memories. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hopalong Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Grassy Knoll, So very sorry to hear this news. Shooting is temporary, Friends are Forever no matter how you find them. Sam Keen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spook Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 GK, I'm very sorry to hear that.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixgun Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Sorry to hear that. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and his family on your loss. Ray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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