Flatland Shooter Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 This is a little follow-up to my trials and tribulations earlier this year. If the link works, here it is: http://www.brianenos.com/forums/index.php?...50&start=50 If the link don't work, allow me to summarize. The little lady leaves town to visit the kids in another state. Usually gone several weeks at a time. I take this as "me time" and stay home caring for the house and pets. Knowing me only too well, at least dailly she will question if I have kept up with my chores. The chore of vacuuming the house resulted in the earlier posting. Nearing the end of her extended stay in Oklahoma last January, she once again asked if the chores were done, including the vacuuming. Of course I applied in the affirmative. (A male thing.) Of course the house had not been vacuumed since she left. (Also a male thing.) What can I say. I'm a neat person who does not make messes and therefore cannot see a point of wasting time cleaning nonexistent messes. The problem arose near the last minute when I was unable to find the vacuum. Searched everywhere to no avail. Making an executive decision, I bought a new vacuum cleaner. Good so far. But I decided to take it a step further. Rather than admit I had not kept up with my chores and had no idea where the dang vacuum cleaner was hidden, I took my newly purchased and only used once vacuum cleaner, boxed it back in the original packing, and hid it in my true domain, the garage. To all those who showed their support, thank you. It was a brilliant plan and worked for almost 10 months. To all those that couldn't wait until I got busted, this post is for you. The time came, like I predicted, we would need a new vacuum cleaner. And, as planned, I would magically appear with a brand new vacuum cleaner. Early the next day I extracted the boxed beauty from its hiding place, put it back together and presented to my very appreciative wife. At least that's how I envisioned it. It all unwrapped with three little sentences. And she didn't have to spend anytime thinking them up. They came out so naturally. "Its not the one I wanted." "Where's the receipt?" "I'm taking it back." Yeh, I'm busted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Boudrie Posted October 6, 2008 Share Posted October 6, 2008 she once again asked if the chores were done, including the vacuuming. The fact that this question was even asked means you lost the battle before it even began Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rrflyer Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 I moved in with the girl about 8 months ago and started getting questions like that when she was out of town......Actually had a big fight over it. Seems to think her mom is gonna pop by and do the white glove test. I just tell her I'll get around to it the day before she gets back. It always goes over real well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seth Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Tell her it was on sale... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franklin D Wolverton Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 Tell her it was on sale... That only works for clothes and shoes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flatland Shooter Posted October 7, 2008 Author Share Posted October 7, 2008 Tell her it was on sale... Its too late. I cracked under pressure. She knows everything. (Everything except the posting on this forum!) As far as she is concerned, my vacuum goes back to the garage and she gets the vacuum she wants. If I knew that, I would have just left my vacuum hidden and all would be wonderful. As I have often stated, "Someday I'll learn." (I hate saying that.) Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
racerba Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 ...my vacuum goes back to the garage... Put it up for sale in the classified. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3GunF1Guy Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 ...my vacuum goes back to the garage... Put it up for sale in the classified. No No don't sell it. Hide it, and tell her you sold it!! You will probably need it again when she hides her "new" one. What I want to know is, did you ever find out where she hid the vacuum? Scott Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miranda Posted October 7, 2008 Share Posted October 7, 2008 yup, I agree. ask: tell me, most beloved, where did you hide the original vacum? like her question, 'including vacuming' it is just the same admission of having hid it in the first place. you can use it to unbutton the hook of which you are wary. your girl is a good hunter. I 've been married too many years to the same woman also. such things are what make it fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gm iprod Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 Tell her that unless she stops dicking about with hiding the vacuum cleaner the girl across the road has offered a number of times to come over and "help me with any problems I might have". If that don't work, RUN!!!!! as fast as you can and don't look back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyZip Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 ...my vacuum goes back to the garage... Put it up for sale in the classified. No No don't sell it. Hide it, and tell her you sold it!! You will probably need it again when she hides her "new" one. What I want to know is, did you ever find out where she hid the vacuum? Scott I've never been set up like this. Wow, good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AustinMike Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 Careful, my wife got the vacuum she wanted some time back. It was like $500 or $600 IIRC. Some Oreck thing that you'd think would start itself up every morning and clean the house, make the bed, take out the trash for that price. I about lost it. All she said was, "how much did you spend on guns the past year?" Damn. I gots no answer for that one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flatland Shooter Posted October 8, 2008 Author Share Posted October 8, 2008 What I want to know is, did you ever find out where she hid the vacuum? That's the bad part. I have a home office with an double door entry into the living room and a second single door into a hallway with a bathroom. Since we moved into the house (Nov 2000), I've never closed the back door. Its always been left open. Swing that door closed and it turns out there is another door behind it. Yep, there is a closet behind that door. All sorts of neat things in there like guest towels, sheets, and a vacuum cleaner. Stuff I never need but a perfect space for a medium sized gun safe. (And that will never happen.) Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anubis Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 ...my vacuum goes back to the garage... Put it up for sale in the classified. No No don't sell it. Hide it, and tell her you sold it!! You will probably need it again when she hides her "new" one. What I want to know is, did you ever find out where she hid the vacuum? Scott I've never been set up like this. Wow, good luck. I would get set up like this.....exactly once. That's all it'd take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
j2fast Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 What I want to know is, did you ever find out where she hid the vacuum? That's the bad part. I have a home office with an double door entry into the living room and a second single door into a hallway with a bathroom. Since we moved into the house (Nov 2000), I've never closed the back door. Its always been left open. Swing that door closed and it turns out there is another door behind it. Yep, there is a closet behind that door. All sorts of neat things in there like guest towels, sheets, and a vacuum cleaner. Stuff I never need but a perfect space for a medium sized gun safe. (And that will never happen.) Bill Wow, that is classic That's right out of my playbook, the wife and I have been in our house for 5 years and there are still things that I (1) couldn't find if it was a matter of life and death and (2) Since I can't find it I sure as hell don't know where to put it away. At least once or twice a month I run into situations covered by items 1 or 2 above and then get to hear my lovely wife say something to the effect of "how long have we lived here and you don't know that, dumbass" or her favorite Everybody Love's Raymond quote "You know what, I'm tired. Could you just call yourself an idiot?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
High Lord Gomer Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 One day my first wife pulled a set of curtains out of the drier and asked me to hang them back up. I said, "Sure...where do they go?" "We've lived here for 10 years and you don't know where those curtains go?!?" From then on she used to pick at me by asking what color the curtains in the living room were. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miranda Posted October 8, 2008 Share Posted October 8, 2008 curtains? living room? is the living room where only guests sit? miranda Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38supPat Posted October 9, 2008 Share Posted October 9, 2008 Geez, I just get yelled at for not replacing the TP on the roller thingie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vagus Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 How many of you have gotten in trouble for something you did IN YOUR WIFES DREAM?!?!? I can handle being an idiot for not doing the chores, spending money on toys, and all the other faults I actually have. But, man, it really gets me when I am in trouble for something I did in her dream.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XRe Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 Once you realize that you're wrong... in all cases... your life will get much better... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John2A Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 Yepper I married Ms. right just did not realize that her first name was ALWAYS... Got caught in something like that used to be a auto tech and have the great big tool box. I can tell you what drawer what section any tool is located. But always seem to have to ask where my socks are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3GunF1Guy Posted October 10, 2008 Share Posted October 10, 2008 A couple of years ago I got chosen to teach a marriage class to the men at a church group we have. I started the class by writing on the chalk board. 1-YOUR RIGHT 2-I'M SORRY I told them here are the 2 steps to a happy marriage. They got a kick out that. The single guys didn't get it. They thought that talking was the way to a happy marriage. Idiots! Usually the more I talk the more trouble I get in. Scott Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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