robomanusa Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 A cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in he realizes it's a gay bar. "What the heck, " he says to himself, "I really want a drink." When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the cowboy, "What's the name of your willy? " The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink" The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your willy. Mine for instance is called NIKE, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS,because 'It really Satisfies.' " The cowboy looks dumbfounded, so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours?" The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX." The thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The fella proudly replies, " 'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin!'" A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fella's on his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?" The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because "Quality is Job One." "Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?" The guy next to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY.....'Like a Rock!' " And gives a wink! Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my willy is SECRET. Now give me a beer." The bartender begins to pour the cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?" The cowboy says, "Because it's 'STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diehli Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 BAHAHAHAHAHA!!! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 all right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 LOL!!! Cagey ole Cowboy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrumpyOne Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 (edited) Jeff, on his way home from working out of town, decides to stop and have a beer. Seeing a bar, Jeff pulls over and goes in. Walking up to the bar, Jeff looks around and sees nothing but men, some of which are holding hands. "Great'" he thinks , "I've walked in one of those bars". "Oh well," he thinks to himself, "I'll just have one beer since I'm already in here.". The bar keep walks up (wearing some bottomless leather chaps) and asks Jeff " You're new here, aren't you?". Jeff replies "Yeah, I'm new, and I'm straight as well, so just give me a beer and I'll be on my way." "Sorry," the bar keep replies, "Everyone has to tell me the nickname they have for their penis before I can serve them. So, what's your penis's nickname?" Jeff says "Nickname? I don't have one!, But give me a few minutes and I'll think about it." "Ok, I'll get back to you in a minute." A few minutes go by, and Jeff calls the bar keep back..."Ok, I've got my nickname." "So, what is it?" asked the barkeep. "Secret" Jeff says, "My penis's name is Secret." "What kind of nickname is that?" asks the bar keep. "Well," Jeff replies, "It's strong enough for a man, but made for woman!" Edit to add: did a search, but didn't find the cowboy one! Edited December 11, 2010 by GrumpyOne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outerlimits Posted December 11, 2010 Share Posted December 11, 2010 so gay bar jokes are ok in this forum? kewl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 so gay bar jokes are ok in this forum? kewl. That line is funnier than the jokes so far!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neomet Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 Well, if it is okay to make gay jokes then In the interest of fair play..... How is a straight guy like tofu? Squishy, unattractive and no taste. What do you get when you cross a straight man and a straight woman? Three kids, a mistress and two divorce lawyers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarge Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 I work with a guy who had one of the worst practical jokes ever, played on him. He started working here years ago and one of the older guys in the shop said they should go to a Reds game. Before the game the older guy took the kid to a gay bar downtown and snuck out the back way. To hear him tell it the younger kid came running out the front door as fast as he could once he realized what was going on. Rumor has it there are pictures of him coming out the door! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyro Shooter Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 The Young Widow Johnson, After they lay her husband to his eternal rest is determined to not loose the family farm to the bank. she knew she could not run the farm alone and starts to look for a new Foreman. after a week she has two canidates. old Drunk Bob. . .Or Bruce . . the new guy in town. there are rumors about Bruce playing for the other team she had heard . . what ever that meant. but she hired him as he was the stongest canidate and not too threatining. it was a long first session and from dawn till dusk they worked hard and brought that first crop in , She payed off the loan and for the first time in a year it looked like the Young Widow Johnson farm would make it. As a celibration the Young Widow Johnson told Bruce to get Fancyed up and go into town and kick up his heels. she was going to go to dinner with old friends she had not time to see in the last year. She got back to the farm very late . . .she had a lot to drink . .but she had a lot to celibrate. it had been a very trying time and she had scuceded. Bruce came back in then anD she asked him to stand in front of her. may be be cause of all of the wine but as she stood in from of him swaying slightly, in a soft voice she asked him to take off her boots. . . he did. she asked him to take off her skirt. . . he did. she asked him to take off her blouse. . .he did. she asked him to take off her bra. . . . he did. She asked him to take off her panties. . he did. then she said IF YOU EVER GO IN TO TOWN DRESED IN MY CLOTHES AGAIN . .YOUR FIRED!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokshwn Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 How is a straight guy like tofu? Squishy, unattractive and no taste. You mean like Perez Hilton .....oh wait, he's not straight.....just tasteless, ugly and squishy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
outerlimits Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 Here's a fun game...steak house or gay bar! http://www.steakhouseorgaybar.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belus Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 (edited) My brother is gay and had the opportunity to use that line (reversed as "made for a woman but strong enough for a man") at the dinner table the first time he met my girlfriend's parents. In order to make one of his daughters uncomfortable, her father had introduced the topic of penis names and all the guys at the table were giving self-deprecating names like "Stumpy" or "Crooked". We were all clueless and had no idea what to expect when my brother said "Secret"... They invite me over for dinner in hope that I'll bring him along now. Edited December 12, 2010 by belus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duane Thomas Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 Dick One-Eye. Alternately: Rod the Wonder-Weinie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrumpyOne Posted December 12, 2010 Share Posted December 12, 2010 A gay man was asking a friend "What makes hair grow on your chest? My lover wants me to have a hairy chest, so what do I use?" The friend told him, "Rub Vasoline all over your chest, that should make the hair grow." So following his advice, he rubbed Vasoline all over his chest. Later that afternoon, as his lover came home, he rubbed his hands over his chest and said "What the hell is this crap?" "It's Vasoline, they told me it would make my hair grow." "You idiot, if that were true, you'd have an 18" ponytail growing outta your butt!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
comcom Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvIlvItl5-A&feature=player_embedded Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carlosa Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvIlvItl5-A&feature=player_embedded I'm a lesbian too!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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