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Installation of electric fencing

Scout454

By Scout454
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Scout454

Posted
Posted

We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago,

I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city.

To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric

fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fense. Actually, I got

the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence.

I then used an 8 ft. long ground round, drove 7.5 feet into the ground.

The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better

the fence works.

One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Walmart

6hp bigwheel pushmower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard.

I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around

the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as

though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in

my right hand and the 1.7 gigavolt fencewire in the other hand. Keep in mind

the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an

upside down cow on fire on the cover. Time stood still. The first thing

I notice is my balls trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears

curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the

backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I

could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.

It seems as though the fence charger and the POS lawnmower were fighting

over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot crap, pee, and nut at the same time.

I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels

emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of

bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back

and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like

exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into

holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down

so I cant let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric

fences... but Dad always had those POS chargers made by International or

whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This I could not

let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me

through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking

I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of

gas.

'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank!

Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping

run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it.

Covered in poop, pee, jizz, and with my balls on my chest I think 'Oh God please

die... pleeeeze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam

idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting

for the go command from its owner's right foot.

So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80%

humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did

not take me that day... he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in

the misery my own stupidity had created.

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire... I

woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me,

out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two

large dead grass spots where i had been standing, and then another long

skinny dead spot were the wire had layed while I was on the ground still

holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the

resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking

from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things.

1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my

right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).

3- Poop, pee, and semen when all mixed together, do not

smell as bad a you might think.

4- My left eye will not open.

5- My right eye will not close.

6- The lawnmower runs like a sumnabitch now. Seriously! I

think our little session cleared out some carbon

fouling or something,

because it was better than new after that.

7- My balls are still smaller than average yet they are

almost a foot long

8- I can turn on the TV in the gameroom by farting while

thinking of the number 4 (still don’t understand this?)

That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect

for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple

check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to

come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to

him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also

reminds me to triple check before I mow.

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redmanfixit Looks for Match

redmanfixit

Posted
Posted

Oh My! Laughing VERY hard now. Difficult to breath, can't see, tears streaming down cheeks!!!! Capacitance! I'm SO sorry that happened to you. Can't type well! Laughing!!! Feel compassion, Hog feeding story leaps to my mind, memory of familiar sensations! So glad you woke up!!! Number 4?? Laughing, laughing.

"A man who attempts to carry a cat by it's tail, will learn something which can be learned in no other way!!"

-Mark Twain-

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Modoc Sees Sights Lift

Modoc

Posted
Posted

Boy, I can STILL feel the zap from the 2 strands of BULL rated wire in the bull pens :surprise: . Backed into them while working and jumped (thrown?) about 2' from the fence.

Not as humerous as yours, but funny in retrospect :roflol:

.

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dajarrel Calls Shots

dajarrel

Posted
Posted
8- I can turn on the TV in the gameroom by farting while

thinking of the number 4 (still don’t understand this?)

I would probably accept it for what it is......I mean, you probably don't want to experiment any more....do you? :roflol:

dj

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  • 1 month later...
benos Back From the Dead

benos

Posted
Posted

I got this from a friend ... sounds like it might have been written by the same guy that thought it was a good idea to rope a deer.

Installation of electric fencing

Thought y'all should read this in case you're thinking of installing

an electric fence!

We have the standard 6ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago,

I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city.

To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and

ran a single wire along the top of the fence.

Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made

for 26 miles of fence.

I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, drove 7.5 feet into the ground.

The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the

better the fence works.

One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6hp big wheel

push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew

for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the

wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems

as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right

hand and the 1.7 giga volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind

the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of

an upside down cow on fire on the cover. Time stood still. The first

thing I notice is my balls trying to climb up the front side of my

body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition

firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton

rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one

with the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the POS

lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot crap, pee, and nut at the same time. I beg to

differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3

different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of

bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned

back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like

there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together

it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto

the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I

can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric

fences... but Dad always had those POS chargers made by International

or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled. This I could

not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals

from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil.

At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take

it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas. 'Damn!,' I think, as I

remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run

rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind

of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, jizz, and with

my balls on my chest I think 'Oh God, please die... pleeeeze die'. But

nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains

there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command

from its owner's right foot.

So, here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity,

standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take

me that day, he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in

the misery my own stupidity had created.

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire....

I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside

me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There

were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then

another long skinny dead spot were the wire had laid while I was on

the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure

and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon

waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things.

1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek

(not the left, just the right).

3- Poop, pee, and semen when all mixed together, do not smell as bad

as you might think.

4- My left eye will not open.

5- My right eye will not close.

6- The lawnmower runs like a sumnabitch now. Seriously! I think our

little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because

it was better than new after that.

7- My balls are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot

long.

8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of

the number 4 (still don't understand this?)

That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I

appreciate the little things more, and now I always double check to

make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I

can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT

gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to

triple check before I mow.

------ End of Forwarded Message

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