Chris Keen Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 (edited) A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sure that must have embarrassed you so let me pay for your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he listens, he shares his and she listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for breakfast. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet breakfast with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed and totally impressed. Everything had been SO incredible! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? " "No," she replies. . . . . "You just happened to catch my eye." Edited November 26, 2007 by CHRIS KEEN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GentlemanJim Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 Oooooh Giggle Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 Two buds head out for the dance..one reluctantly because he has a wooden eye and thinks noone will dance with him... Inside the guys pick out ladies to dance with but the friend with the wooden eye cannot bring himself to ask one..his friend finally says, "...well there is a girl over there with a speach impediment, if you ask her I don't think she will be in a position to turn you down" The fellow with the wooden eye cautiously goes over to the girl and asks her..."..would you like to dance?" The girl smiles and says, "...would I, would I...? Whereby the guy steps back and yells at her, "...hair lip, hair lip." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
et45 Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlamoShooter Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 MR. TightLoop has been waiting since the 6th grade to tell that one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Moneypenny Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 hahaha. too funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn jones Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 Two buds head out for the dance..one reluctantly because he has a wooden eye and thinks noone will dance with him...Inside the guys pick out ladies to dance with but the friend with the wooden eye cannot bring himself to ask one..his friend finally says, "...well there is a girl over there with a speach impediment, if you ask her I don't think she will be in a position to turn you down" The fellow with the wooden eye cautiously goes over to the girl and asks her..."..would you like to dance?" The girl smiles and says, "...would I, would I...? Whereby the guy steps back and yells at her, "...hair lip, hair lip." i heard the version the girl with the wooden leg, he called her peg leg, peg leg! lynn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted November 26, 2007 Share Posted November 26, 2007 Two buds head out for the dance..one reluctantly because he has a wooden eye and thinks noone will dance with him...Inside the guys pick out ladies to dance with but the friend with the wooden eye cannot bring himself to ask one..his friend finally says, "...well there is a girl over there with a speach impediment, if you ask her I don't think she will be in a position to turn you down" The fellow with the wooden eye cautiously goes over to the girl and asks her..."..would you like to dance?" The girl smiles and says, "...would I, would I...? Whereby the guy steps back and yells at her, "...hair lip, hair lip." i heard the version the girl with the wooden leg, he called her peg leg, peg leg! lynn Well, I don't know if I have been waiting since the 1st grade, but it has been around for a long time... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BSeevers Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 Is that your sister? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 You have got to be asking Lynn....not mine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BSeevers Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 You have got to be asking Lynn....not mine. Naw although I would joke with Lynn any day. Chris Keen. Kind of a inside joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RePete Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 I've gotta tell ya, you guys are sick puppies!!!!!!!!!!!! That must be why I like here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Resjudicata Posted November 30, 2007 Share Posted November 30, 2007 I have been telling this one to everyone the past two days. I like these kind of jokes. You can tell it to anyone and not get sued. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SV_shooter Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 A man gets in a horrific car accident and loses one of his eyes. He has no insurance and the Dr. recommends a glass eye for $10k. The poor one eyed man asks if there is a cheaper alternative as he simply cannot afford the glass eye. The Dr. says " Well, I understand the dilemma perhaps I can make you an eye from hard wood for $2000." it wont be perfectly round like a glass eye, and it may stick sometimes, but it will look pretty normal and you can go on with your daily life feeling a bit more confident about the loss of your eye until you can afford the glass replacement." The man sadly agrees to take the eye made of wood. He gets home from the hospital and he realized it doesn't really fit very well and it keeps falling out, or sticking to his eyelid. He barricades himself in the house for weeks out of embarrassment; when finally his friends call him and convince him to go out with them club hopping at the darker night clubs where the eye wouldnt be such an issue. He reluctantly agrees to go out with his buddies. They stop at a club, and friends point out a beautiful woman sitting by herself with a prosthetic leg and a cane. They tell their one eyed friend to go introduce yourself to her and ask her if she wants a drink or to dance. He hesitantly agrees and walks up to the girl. He asks, "would you like to dance?" She replies "would I?!!!" He retorts "Screw you, Peg leg!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hairtrigger Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 And now she's the one eye love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEC Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 (edited) "You just happened to catch my eye."[/font] I guess it pays to have good hand-eye coordination. Edited January 23, 2008 by MEC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SV_shooter Posted January 23, 2008 Share Posted January 23, 2008 And now she's the one eye love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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