Shooter Grrl Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Men are like parking spaces... All the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritinUSA Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Rebuttal: Women are like Saran Wrap Useful but clingy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Rebuttal:Women are like Saran Wrap Useful but clingy. and I can see right through em.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaseyJ Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Depends on what kind of handicap you are talking about. Some people think obesity is a handicap. I can't spell that's mine! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 (edited) I am gonna sit on the sidelines for this one!!!! Edited September 26, 2006 by zhunter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Skywalker on women: Women are like wine. When it's young, it's sparkling and outgoing, but it hasn't yet acquired a definite taste, and you keep changing in search of something that better suits you. You have to let it settle for at least a few years before even considering bringing it to a true dinner. It needs to acquire its full potential. Once matured, it gets rid of that dry and bitter aftertaste, developing a full bouquet which makes it almost irresistible. If you keep it properly, it'll never fail on you, and you'll be proud of it with friends. If you don't, it'll turn sour and you'll regret even having it in your cellar. If you let it age too much ity spoils, and all you can do is to look at the label on the bottle and tell yourself you once had a great wine ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 I think this is the payback for the BOOBS thread....I am with Zhunter..On the sidelines... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hitman Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 I agree tightloop, but I do like young Skywalkers thought of keeping them in the cellar. Reminds me of a movie I once made, I mean saw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howardw Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 The answer to the shortage of good men? Polygamy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 The answer to the shortage of good men? Polygamy! Man I wish I was not just watching this thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Bigamy is having one husband too many. Monogamy is the same. More Men Jokes: What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes. What is the difference between a singles bar and the circus? At the circus, the clowns don't talk. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners? So men can understand them. How many men would it take to mop a floor? No one knows; they've never done it. Why are marriend women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator. What's the most effective birth control device for men. Their manners. And to appropriately round out the post.... Guns are easier to live with then men because: Guns don't boast about being high capacity or a large caliber. Guns reload faster. Guns don't make insensitive comments about your cooking or your weight. Guns only make noise when you want them to. A good gun is reliable, always ready for action, but won't try to sleep with your best friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BritinUSA Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 I'm abandoning this thread... I think I'm out-gunned Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Carina I have met Marc, nice guy too. Where does this bitterness come from? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdragon Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 What if they have 38 Rimless Brass?........ Ivan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Did you say 38 Rimless Bra...? Oh, sorry. That's the "Boobs" thread. (What carinab said) BUUUUURRRRRRRNN!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlamoShooter Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Depends on what kind of handicap you are talking about. Some people think obesity is a handicap. I can't spell that's mine! Hey ! that my handicap ... I can spell - I jsut spell wurds difernt every time Or is it that I can not spell, Wait let me get my wife to anserrr this one for me. Jamies Fotoe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merlin Orr Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Depends on what kind of handicap you are talking about. Some people think obesity is a handicap. I can't spell that's mine! Hey ! that my handicap ... I can spell - I jsut spell wurds difernt every time Or is it that I can not spell, Wait let me get my wife to anserrr this one for me. Jamies Fotoe When you can't spell your own name correctly....That makes you the winner, Jaime..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackdragon Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Ivan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 CarinaI have met Marc, nice guy too. Where does this bitterness come from? That would be from the first husband and the subsequent string of losers I had the misfortune to date shortly after the divorce. I got lucky and finally found one of the sensitive, caring ones that isn't gay.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 (edited) Hope you'll let me play the male chauvinist every once in a while ... (and you wont get offended as well). More Men Jokes:What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 45 minutes. What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down?Marriage. What is the difference between a singles bar and the circus?At the circus, the clowns don't talk. Why are cyclones and tornadoes usually named after women?Because when they come they make a hell of a noise and when they go they take half your house with them. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends. Why did God create lesbians?So feminists couldn't breed. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. What's the difference between your wife and your job?... Oh, well, OK, no, there's no way I'm gonna post the answer on this forum ... Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?So men can understand them. Why do blondes pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds?Because most men are stupid, but few are blind. How many men would it take to mop a floor?No one knows; they've never done it. How many men does it take to fix the vacuum cleaner?Why should we fix it, we don't use the damn thing! How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. Let her do the dishes in the dark. Why are marriend women heavier than single women?Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator. Why do men die before their wives?They want to. What's the most effective birth control device for men.Their manners. Why did God make man first?He didn't want to have a woman telling him how to do it. Now, Carina, if you won't ever talk to me again I'll understand ... Edited September 27, 2006 by Skywalker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zhunter Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I am gonna just sit next to the Beer Cart and watch this one unfold This might be better than taking a 12 pack to a busy boat ramp on the weekend and watching the action Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 (edited) Naw, the only time I get offended is when it gets mean spirited or patronizing. A joke is a joke and despite the strawberry blonde hair, I sometimes understand them! Besides, men are proof that women can take a joke. <rimshot sound effect here> Why do men die before their wives?They want to. Why do men die before their wives? They should How are men and batteries different? Batteries have a positive side. What are the three types of men? The handsome, the caring and the majority. What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? Telling you his real name. Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you? Edited September 27, 2006 by carinab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bgary Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Why do men die before their wives?They should Hey, Zhunter... can I join you at that boat ramp? B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n2ipsc Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I am gonna just sit next to the Beer Cart and watch this one unfold So, how many men does it take to open a beer? None - it should be open when she brings it to you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted September 28, 2006 Share Posted September 28, 2006 (edited) Why do men die before their wives?They should How are men and batteries different? Batteries have a positive side. What are the three types of men? The handsome, the caring and the majority. What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship? Telling you his real name. Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you? I'm running real short of replies, but here it goes: What's love? The delusion that one woman is different from the other. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? They don't have balls. Did you hear about the blonde Devil worshipper? She sold her soul to Santa. What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs. What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman? Sexual harassment. What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? $3.99 a minute. Edited September 29, 2006 by Skywalker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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