Southerners

[ErikW]

Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them but "PITCH" them.

Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,

peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."  Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in, "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl

on the middle of the table.

All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is.  They might not

use the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace

for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "pert'near" and "a right fur piece." They also know that "just down the road" can

be one mile or 20.

Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues," we do "lines"; and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody! Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they are related, even if only by marriage.

True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

True Southerners know grits come from corn, and they know how to eat 'em. Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and

that fried green tomatoes are NOT a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' ... ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.  "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart," and go your own way

[cpty1]

Eric, looks like you have a pretty good grasp on some parts of Southern culture, at least at a high level.  

I knowed I didn't spy you whupping out one of dem fancy Southern English Dictionary and Translation books when we met at the FGNs last year.  Seemed like you understood pert'near everthing I said.

Now if I can just stop shooting like one'a dem little ol ladies driving 30 MPH down the interstate, I'll be in good shape.

[ErikW]

Of course, I didn't author that, just forwarded it, but I sort of have a clue about southerners. I knew a Texan--she would say she wasn't a southerner, she was a Texan--and that's pretty close.

I remember kicking around Quincy with FasterThanLight, a Floridian, not sure if he counts as a southerner. He kept asking for sweet tea everywhere. I was like, WTF is sweet tea? Why can't he just put some sugar in iced tea?

[lynn jones]

true, ya'll

[tightloop]

Almost entirely correct, but

ya'll is singular

all ya'll is plural

[Duane Thomas]

I was like, WTF is sweet tea? Why can't he just put some sugar in iced tea?

Because sugar won't melt in iced tea, of course. You have to put it in while the tea is still warm.

Silly Northerner.

[Shooter Grrl]

Silly Northerner.

What's a Northerner? Oh, you mean...

Silly YANKEE!

[Duane Thomas]

A word no one who didn't grow up in the South knows the meaning of is "nem." As in, "Yep, I was talking to Harold Dollar nem just yesterday, and they were doing fine."

"Nem," of course, is the proper contraction of "and them," and refers to a person and their relations.

Hadn't heard that one for years. Then a waitress at a local restaurant (Washington state) said "nem," to me and I said, "YOU'RE from the south." She laughed and said, "Yep!"

[Shooter Grrl]

I rarely ever admit to this, and certainly not in such a public place, BUT...

THIS

Is where my people are from

[jmallard]

One more, every True Southerner knows the name of General Lee's Horse.

Traveler

Shooter Grrl,

I was born in an even smaller town, Carbon Hill, AL.

[George D]

Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is -- as in, "Going to town, be back directly."

My Grandfather constantly used the words "directly" and "shortly" in this context. He was born and raised in Australia in the high country of NSW. My Grandmother also used to threaten to "spiflicate" us, a word which I've never heard used by anyone else. Is there a southern connection with this word.??

[Shooter Grrl]

I was born in an even smaller town, Carbon Hill, AL.

Well... you see, the real town, Sasser, doesn't show up on any of the maps, so I chose the "big" city (HA HA HA HA HA - the only thing big in Andalusia is the cockroaches!).

Pop quiz, all y'all... just how is Andalusia pronounced

[JRBean]

It's cool to see some other folks from Alabama here. I'm originaly from Helena, AL but know live in Mobile. Most of my family is still in Montevallo, AL though.

Shooter Grrl I've always heard Andalusia said this way. ( Ann-duh-loo-juh). I'm not sure if I got the last part to come out right. It's a lot easier to say than print. After taking time to think about it I can just imagine the way some uh-dem other folks might have to say it.

translation: uh-dem (of them)

[ErikW]

So that's where Frank Black came up with "I am un chien Andalusia" for Debaser (from the Pixies' Monkey Gone to Heaven album). I always thought he was talking about Spain.

[Singlestack]

I was borned and raised up ratcheer, the Heart of Dixie.

If'n ya was to ask me, I'd say anybody from north of I10 is a yankee.

[tightloop]

It used to be the Mason Dixon line but it is now I-10.

[DBChaffin]

[Foghorn Leghorn Voice On] Now I, now I say here boy, wait just a cotton pickin' minute. [/Foghorn Leghorn Voice Off]

Born and reared in the deep South, I take offense at the notion that a Yankee is anyone from north of I-10.

Ahhhh, Natchez, the oldest settlement on the Mississippi River, predating New Orleans by two years. More antebellum homes than any other place in the United States. Cotton fields, paddle wheelers, hoop skirts (well at least during pilgrimage anyway...), and Southern hospitality, tourism is the backbone of the small town economy because people come to see what the South is/was...

And I'll close with a little propaganda quote from the city's website.

"And how about life in Natchez? Life in Natchez is simple and easy-going, punctuated by year round festivals and celebrations. Whether you're looking to relocate, a place to get away from it all, the perfect place to hold your next meeting or convention, or for the ideal business location, we know you'll love Natchez. In Natchez we know life is to be celebrated and our blessings shared. We didn't invent Southern hospitality in Natchez. We just perfected it. We'll leave the veranda light on and the door open wide. Y'all come on home.......come to Natchez"

[mcginnes]

I keep seeing this business about "y'all" being singular and "all y'all" being plural. It ain't true, lest ways not in my family. "Y'all" is the contraction of "you all" and is the second person plural pronoun ("yous guys" in yankee): Hey Y'all, watch this!

"All y'all" is for emphasis, and often preceeds an imperative and/or swearing: All Y'all go to Hell!

Now, did any of y'alls' grandmothers ever tell you "Now, don't be ugly?" (refering to behavior.)

[whiskey]

Yonder is an unnown distance that ranges from just out of sight to a few miles.

[tightloop]

mcquinnes

ya'll sound like you live north of I-10

[JRBean]

mcquinnes,

Not only did my grandmother use it but so did my mother. My wife and I also use it when around our niece and nephew. We also use it towards our two cats.

[Singlestack]

I take offense at the notion that a Yankee is anyone from north of I-10.

hehehe

I knew I'd ruffle some feathers with that... lol

You should see the puzzled look on a Georgia boy's face when I tell 'em that!

TL,

"ya'll sound like you live north of I-10 "

Its easy to spot them, isn't it?

[joenuclear]

I believe it's I-40 that replaced the Mason-Dixon line. And another thing..... It wasn't the civil war it was " The War of northern Aggression".

[jhgtyre]

Since 1-40 cuts right through my birthplace I would have to agree with joenuclear.

I took a Southern Lit class in college and the guest speaker asked everyone if they were from The South or if they were Southeasterners. A lot of the students raised their hands for Southeasterner, myself included. The guest speaker, author John Shelton Reed, then described the differences between the two, in his opinion, and most of us changed our minds. His excellent lecture can be boiled down to this - Southeasterners are Southerners who are ashamed of their heritage. I haven't wanted to be a Southeasterner since.

-ld