rhino Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 I'd pay cash, folding money to see that, Sunny. I'd also like to see Vanessa Marcil in similar circumstances. HEY! Did you see the episode a few weeks ago where they awakened in bed next to each other? I only saw part of it, but the possibilities made my puny mind smoke and sputter with exertion. That show is like Hot Chick Central! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 There was one really, really bad SF movie, which I cannot recall the title of. The exploration crew has trouble, and sends for an expert. One guy gets off the supply vessel, with the biggest gun in the world over his shoulder. "Where's your problem?" "Where's the team we were supposed to get?" "You got one problem, you get one expert. I'm here to shoot it and get back on the ship." It rapidly goes downhill from there. Sounds like something Rutger "We're Going to Need Bigger Guns" Hauer would say! He's been in a lot of excellently bad, yet thoroughly entertaining movies. He never disappoints! I agree 100% on the punishment for gratuitous breasticle augmentations, but I think you might consider adding a buggy whipping or two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Sweeney Posted February 4, 2005 Author Share Posted February 4, 2005 Had good old Rutger been in it, I'd have remembered it. No, it was a no-name cast all the way. As for your buggy-whip suggestion, I think it might be too tame, inless we can lace the buggy whip with small shards of glass, or dip it in clorox bleach between strokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tightloop Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 Me too big guy.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoNsTeR Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Haha, forgot Escape From L.A., that was a good one. Here's another personal favorite of mine, They Live http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096256/ "I have come here to chew bubble gum, and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 ROWDY RODDY PIPER! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wadel Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 I'm going to add Cannibal the Musical to this list. It's made by the guys that created South Park and it's based off a true story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCollett Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Come on guys... Predator. Nothing beats two future governors fighting an invisible alien big game hunter. And Jesse Ventura humping a MINI-GUN through the jungle. priceless. best line= " If it bleeds we can kill it"- The Governator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmccrock Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Sorry to join the thread so late. I am dating myself a bit, but "Warhol's Dracula" defines "Movies so bad they're fun". Definitely adult, do not bring the kids. Helped to see it at a college dollar theatre night when I was an undergrad. Beautiful sets, lots of blood and sex, horrible acting. As a contrast, saw "Last Tango in Paris" in the same venue. Just bad, not fun. I would have walked out in the middle but the auditorium was so crowded that I would have tripped over someone in the aisles getting out. There is always "CHUD", which is Cannibalistic Human Underground Dwellers. 'Nuf said. Lee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Precision40 Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 I think Napoleon Dynamite ranks right up there as one of the funniest movies I've seen in years. It's soooo stupid, yet I sat there laughing my ass off the entire movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Duane Thomas Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 The second would be the re-make of Point of No Return, with whats-her-name Fonda. Bridgit? If I hadn't already seen the French verion, I'd have thought it was OK. But having seen Anne Parrilaud, all I could do was hoot at the Hollywood version. Actually, Point of No Return was the US remake of the VASTLY superior French La Femme Nikita. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Sweeney Posted February 9, 2005 Author Share Posted February 9, 2005 I forgot they changed the title, too. The French version was far superior. My little brother ocne remarked "Call me a philistine, but I liked the Hollywood version." So my wife said "You're a philistine." He didn't get it. I just caught an oldie on "on demand" cable (and free, no less) that I saw back when it was new in 1984: Hardbodies. Another outrageously bad, screamingly funny, attempt at surfer existentialism without surfing. A beach dude who has a smooth way with the ladies finds himself without a place to live. Three middle-aged farts hire him to teach them how to be smooth with chicks. When does teaching descend into pimping? Answer: after every no-name wannabe actress has divested herself of her shirt, that's when. If you want to see Kathleen Kinmont in a one-piece bathing suit and rollerskates, and see why Lorenzo Lamas fell for her, get a bowl of popcorn and watch. If you don't want to lose 93 minutes of your life, pass on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErikW Posted February 9, 2005 Share Posted February 9, 2005 Did someone say pimping? Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo is so bad it's good. That guy knew how to work his mangina. A stupid movie you can't help but laugh at, like The Jerk or Dumb and Dumber. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoseMech Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 I am a fan of A Mighty Wind, never seen a movie with drier humor. Rose Mech Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 "Dude, Where's My Car?" was the dumbest movie I've ever seen that also made me laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Di Vita Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Duece Bigalow has a sequel coming out soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Sweeney Posted February 23, 2005 Author Share Posted February 23, 2005 My wife reminded me of one: Kull the Conqueror. Kevin Sorbo is completely earnest in this sword & sorcery compilation of cliches. He burst in to kill the evil king, whose bodyguards are inside the throneroom, with their backs to the door. Kevin takes his shirt off before the climactic fight scene. And the dialog. Oh, the over-wrought dialog. Its hard to believe that my wife, a summa graduate of an Ivy League school, could point out a "bad but good movie" to me. But she did. Many thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Dude, methinks the key to her "memory" was Kevin Sorbo without his shirt! He plays the same role in everything he's in, but I always find it enjoyable (Hercules, Andromeda). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted February 23, 2005 Share Posted February 23, 2005 Steven Segal has to have set the record for fastest time from "Hot newcomer to bloated toad." His problems came when he made so much money in his movies that he thought he knew how to make his movies. When he went from star to producer, writer, director, he went spinning off into the stupidsphere. I obviously just read this whole thread and think it ought to be renamed "Why Segal Movies Suck." There are soooo many bad comments on his "art." His pistol smith used to shoot a steel match in SoCal that I used to go to all the time. Believe it or not, he trained at Gunsite to better learn how to handle a pistol "on screen." You might notice that weaver stance/grip....I don't think he went into any real depth though. You know the syndrome...I've taken a class, now I'm an expert. Those in the aikido world I travel thru feel the same about his martial arts skill....no depth and no respect. A great B movie that has not made the list is one of my favorites: The Adventures Buckaroo Bonzai across the 8th Dimension. Everyone was in this movie: Peter Weller, John Lithgow, Ellen Barkin, Jeff Goldblum, Christopher Lloyd, and Clancy Brown. One of my favorite lines: "Character isa what chu are in da dark." I still wonder about the watermelon.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgnoyes Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 The Quick and the DeadYeah, it had Sharon Stone and Gene Hackman, but gawd was it a bad movie. Awww, come on! I think its hilarious. Think of it this way: Welcome to the 1890 USPSA Nationals! The town is PASA. The clock tower is the timer. Gene Hackman is playing Dick Metcalf. ("This is MY TOWN!" If you live to see the dawn, its because I ALLOW IT!") The guys on the rooftops with the rifles pointed at you are the RO's. (DQ's are SERIOUS at the 1890 Nationals!) The preacher is Todd Jarrett. After all, who else could casually flip a rifle over his shoulder and pick off one of the "RO's"? The match is made up of man-on-man speed shoots, scored comstock. Except the one stage where The Lady and the Pervert are running at each other in a driving rainstorm (like they really get at PASA once each Nationals) firing away (Sharon scores a low D-zone hit), and it moves into and is finished in the bar. That was a field course. The bar, by the way, is the Ritz. Leonardo Dicapprio is playing Billy Abbate. Those of you who know Billy will immediately see the similarities between Billy and the movie character. "Sh#$, that was fast." Yeah, I've said that before when watching grandmasters at the nationals. For you Atlanta-area types, the gunstore is David's Gun Room. There's a scene early on after the shooter's briefing where everyone gets out in the street, points their guns in the air and blasts away. That's the function fire area. $1 a run. In a scene towards the end, Gene Hackman is sitting in his skivvies the night before the final stage with a table full of gun parts, filing away at a trigger group assembly. Yeah, I've sat on a bed before in a hotel room the night before a major match starts with a bedspread full of parts from multiple .45's, hoping to come up with one working gun. Been there, done that. And who is Sharon Stone playing? Drop in the name of your favorite lady master. At the end of the movie, the Lady and Todd Jarrett face each other in the next to last stage, and they fake her losing, so Metcalf has to face Todd in the finals now. The timer (clock tower) goes off, and the whole town gets blown up. That's called a stage equipment malfunction. Then the smoke clears and here comes The Lady to shoot the stage in place of Todd/The Preacher. Hackman/Metcalf screams at her "You're dead!" No, sorry, she's not dead, she just arbitrated and got a reshoot. Bn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Piece of art! Now I have to go rent the movie just to find more natl's similarities.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Sweeney Posted February 24, 2005 Author Share Posted February 24, 2005 wgnoyes, what drugs are you taking? With a post like that, you could do quite well selling the excess to others. You forgot to find someone to compare to Lance Henriksen, with his gaudy clothes and in your face attitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rhino Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 Maybe he got ahold of one of the South American frogs I've been prone to licking lately? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wgnoyes Posted February 24, 2005 Share Posted February 24, 2005 wgnoyes, what drugs are you taking? With a post like that, you could do quite well selling the excess to others.You forgot to find someone to compare to Lance Henriksen, with his gaudy clothes and in your face attitude. If you mean the "Ace Hamlin" character, someone who used to shoot with us, Joe Cox, could fill in that part. As far as external influence, well, it does enhance the movie's perception to sit down with a few other shooters, consume adult beverages, and then start the movie. In a similar vein, at a software users' conference, they had a movie night one night after the sessions were over. I found out that the ONLY way to watch Walt Disney's "Tron" is in a room filled with inibriated MVS systems programmers. They were howling and rolling on the floor in a matter of minutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revchuck Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 Patrick Sweeney wrote: Starship Troopers, yes. I started watching it full of hope. I quickly realized it was awful, banished any thoughts of comparing it to the book, and had a blast. Sorry to find this so late - one of the better moments raising my son (now an Army Sergeant) was making him read the book before I took him to see the movie. As we came out of the theatre, he said, "Dad, that movie sucked!" He was comparing it to the book. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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