AikiDale Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 Jimmy Swaggart apologizes to a Canadian broadcast company for being insensitive to homosexuals. (he likes his prostitutes to be female) An elderly woman is killed when a 7 foot crucifix falls on her head in Italy. (I know, I know, it really is not funny. It is horrible. I am ashamed of myself.) Blacks in Maryland are angry about an all white high school reunion. It is for graduates from the 40's, 50's and 60's. (No black students until the 70's) A town in British Columbia has erected a monument depicting a helpful Canadian and two scared Americans to honor Vietnam era draft dogers. (talk about being insensitive towards ones neighbors) And thank God the TSA, FBI and who knows who else were able to save our nations capitol from Cat Stevens! (latest recording must have been a bomb) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakal Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 As The Man says, you just can't make this stuff up. A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Buff Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 And thank God the TSA, FBI and who knows who else were able to save our nations capitol from Cat Stevens! (latest recording must have been a bomb) He was probably going to sing down the Empire State Building.....damn I forgot, he doesn't sing anymore.... ----------------- And then in the news yesterday: Some county in the states has put up and built additional bus stops to improve their public transport rating. Problem: Busses never stop there and the county has put up signs at these bus stops that state that busses will never stop there....and still people are found there daily, standing and waiting for the bus.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted September 23, 2004 Share Posted September 23, 2004 "An elderly woman is killed when a 7 foot crucifix falls on her head in Italy... ...So much for worshipping at the feet of graven images... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted December 11, 2004 Author Share Posted December 11, 2004 I hate to be the one to say "Spare the rod, spoil the child...." But here is a story from Florida that just makes me want to laugh, or hit somebody.... Homeless parents Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pierruiggi Posted December 11, 2004 Share Posted December 11, 2004 An elderly woman is killed when a 7 foot crucifix falls on her head in Italy. (I know, I know, it really is not funny. It is horrible. I am ashamed of myself.) There's a spanish movie called "el día de la bestia" (day of the beast) wich is about the coming of the anti christ to the world. A lowly priest specializing in mathemathics discovers by accident the exact time it will happen and gives himself the holy mission to find where it will happen and stop it. Initially, just as the movie starts he reports his findings and tries to get help from his church's high priest. As they are both talking, on the background there's a 10 foot (or bigger) cross. The dialogue goes something like this. High priest: Are you sure my son? Low priest: Yes father, no doubt. HP: Then we must stop him... LP: Father, can we bear the weight of this cross? (referring to the holy mission, of course) HP: (doubts for a moment, then says convinced of his faith) Yes, my son. With the help of God. They walk towards the camera and away from the giant cross in the background, when the low priest drops his papers and kneels to grab them back... And then the giant cross tips over on its own and falls on the high priest killing him... And leaving our hero in shocked disbelief. It is truly a great movie full of moments like this one and some other interesting concepts (like our priest hero trying to personally contact the devil to get the location, and figuring out the best way is by doing evil, or with the help of a fat guy that works at a records store and likes heavy metal). I recommend it to everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted December 22, 2004 Author Share Posted December 22, 2004 More funny news! A kid in India wants to PROVE to his buddies that he made it with his girl, so he sends classmates video via cellphone. It gets picked up on CD and the 'net. Can you say BUSTED? Oh the shame of it. Why the next thing you know they will try to sell Kama Sutra on Ebay Read All About It! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErikW Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Police say the clip, lasting two minutes and 37 seconds, was copied on to video CDs and sold. He lasted 2:37? I'd call that a tantric marathon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dead Buff Posted December 22, 2004 Share Posted December 22, 2004 Hey, it was his first time...and I assume that 2:37 includes getting undressed.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 Okay, if I read this correctly, one involved in an illegal activity must have a government issued computerized ID which is checked monthly to ensure one is complying with the government regulations to engage in the illegal activity. "Sometimes I feel like a motherless child...." I just don't get it. Did I miss something here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted August 20, 2005 Author Share Posted August 20, 2005 According to an AP story about the DEA making major busts: "The agency calculates that 454 grams of methamphetamine produces one pound of product." Do you think they used a table, a web site or arithmetic to make those calculations? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted October 26, 2005 Author Share Posted October 26, 2005 Say it ain't so Luca! Rome has just banned gold fish bowls and made it a crime to not walk your dog at least 3 times a day. http://g.msn.com/0MN2ET7/2?http://www.msnb...=EmailThis&CE=1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
carinab Posted October 26, 2005 Share Posted October 26, 2005 (edited) And what galls the #(@*^) out of me is the same animal rights mindset will sit back and say "it's their culture and we need to be tolerant" when it comes to women's rights in certain countries. At least it's beginning to change in one part of the world. Ooops, sorry not the hate thread....Well, I like the fact that some women are taking matters in the their own hands! Edited October 26, 2005 by carinab Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skywalker Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 Dale, I can only post here what I already posted on the Global Village...dunno about what you posted, I'm quite misinformed these days, even if I've found traces of this in a local net-newspage of animal rights activists, but can't find a link to the original newspaper that published this news. BUT I can surely report on what happened last week in Neaples: the local Major and Police forces decided to have some practice in dealing with a possible terrorist attack to the city, with 3 simulated bombings in different parts of the town. The practice was quite huge, part of the population was involved as well as police, ERs and so on. The result of the practice? 2 ambulances collided and 5 were injuried... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raz-0 Posted October 28, 2005 Share Posted October 28, 2005 by my calculations, the news and satire reached parity aproximately april of 2001. Case in point: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930 (warning language may not be safe for work) This beat the real news to the punch by over a year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uspsa06007 Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 Raz-0, Please stop, I have diet coke coming out my nose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 (edited) You are not getting the full flavor of Raz-0's post. He showed you part one of the joke. Part two: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9340767/ And note, that not only does it have 5 blades, it even has the TWO aloe strips the Onion promised. Edited October 29, 2005 by Vlad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted October 29, 2005 Author Share Posted October 29, 2005 (edited) by my calculations, the news and satire reached parity aproximately april of 2001. Case in point: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33930 (warning language may not be safe for work) This beat the real news to the punch by over a year. But I seem to remember one of the great SNL commercials having 4 or 5 blades many years ago.... Quick internet search: The SNL commercial was for the Trak III spoofing the new twin bladed razors. "The Trak III, because you will believe anything..." Edited October 29, 2005 by AikiDale Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 Oh, yeah! Well I ain't the least bit impressed. And the aloe strips are stupid! I'm the American consumer and I wanna a six pack o' titanitum nitride coated blades in a carbon fiber handle with an insulated hose that pumps hot shaving cream, available in various manly scents, up from an 120 vac heated, turbo-powered, shaving cream dispenser hidden cleverly under the sink. To heck with your stupid battery powered razor. I want a variable frequency generator on the 120 vac heated, turbo-powerered, shaving cream dispenser under the sink that sends gentle sound pulses up through the shaving cream supply hose and pulses the head of the razor at just the right frequency for my beard. Next year, just in time for the holiday spending season, you can introduce one with an MP3 player and a cell phone in the handle that plugs into my car's cigarette lighter. Oh yeah, and I want it manufactured in a Chinese government-owned sweatshop so it's cheap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiG Lady Posted October 29, 2005 Share Posted October 29, 2005 BWAHAHAHAHA...!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 Sigh ... Now you've done it. As of next year I wont be able to buy a bathroom sink without two extra friking holes to acomodate your pulsating shaving cream tube, and the outgoing vacum hose. I hate you, Sam, I really do. I already have to many bloody holes in my kitchen sink, and now you had to go and mess with my bathroom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Posted October 30, 2005 Share Posted October 30, 2005 Ah, Vlad..Vlad...Vlad..... You see, I grew up in an era where most "bathrooms" had only one hole. People were hardworking, decent, and honest back then. But when it came to technology, we were hopeless luddites and the world was passing us by. Indeed, it's a forlorn king that sits upon a wooden throne. We foolishly lived in abject poverty and thought we were happy the whole (hole?) time. Embrace your inner techno-dude, Vlad! More holes in sinks are good. They give consumers confidence. The more holes, the more choices. The more choices, the more innovations, and the higer we can drive the real estate market. The higher the market goes, the more equity we can borrow. The more we can borrow, the more we can buy. It's a never ending cycle of pleasure and prosperity and it only goes up. As long as we all keep borrowing and pouring money into holes...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted November 1, 2005 Author Share Posted November 1, 2005 Sign me up for the neo-luddidte convention. My new digs in Shelby County Kentucky have no Cable for the internet. Phone company never heard of DSL. Being too spoiled for dial-up my internet connection to the world now happens only at work, time permitting. But I like your techno-shaving-system Sam. Maybe the kids will get me one for the holidays. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vlad Posted November 1, 2005 Share Posted November 1, 2005 (edited) Embrace your inner techno-dude, Vlad! More holes in sinks are good. .... My kitchen sink has 6 holes. One drain, 2 for the knobs, one for the spout, and two others. I can assume one is for the removable hand thingie (mine is built into the faucet so I installed a soap dispenser in that hole) and one more for good measure .. I assume so you can attach a second minature kitchen sink to you kitchen sink. Any more holes and it would be a sieve. And I gotta tell ya .. no better way to become a luddite then to be a computer programmer. I am capitalist bastard who is all for new products no matter how absurd but I'm putting my foot down on the number of holes in my sink. Heck, I dont even care if YOUR sink has 42 perforations, but I KNOW that if your sink has 42, Home Depot will feel compeled to offer a better model next year with 43, and won't be offering any of those hold fashioned models anymore, unless you buy the cheap builders grade one, which only has 37 holes. And dont get me started on the quality of toilet seats .. But thats a different thread in the Hate forum . Edited November 1, 2005 by Vlad Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AikiDale Posted November 26, 2005 Author Share Posted November 26, 2005 The French are giving their police $7.7 Million to reward their efforts to quell the rioting (which went on for THREE WEEKS!). I should think one Texas Ranger the first night would have cost a whole lot less.... http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051125/ap_on_.../france_rioting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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